Talk:The Lion King 1½/@comment-81.229.87.120-20130305172310

{Cut to the lookout rock, under a small tree. Uncle Max is demonstrating the duties of the sentry.}

Uncle Max: {demonstrating} Scurry, sniff, flinch! Scurry, sniff, flinch! {Timon is unimpressed and rolling his eyes} Scurry, sniff, flinch! Good. Now... what do we do if we see a hyena?

Timon: Scream "Mommy"?

Uncle Max: That's right, mister! Because the world out there is fraught with danger. Fraught, I tell you!

Timon: {aside, to the camera, over Uncle Max; sarcastically} Oh, boy. It's the Fraught Fest.

Uncle Max: {furiously pantomiming} Even all bloodthirsty hyenas are waiting to rip us limb from limb!

Timon: {applauding sarcastically} Bra-vo, Uncle Max. Way to sell it to the cheap seats.

Uncle Max: {in his face} Applaud now, sonny boy. {quiet and severe} But try clapping when you don't have any hands! {turns and leaves}

{Timon gulps, looking at his hands. Then he takes up his position on the rock.}

Timon: Scurry, sniff, flinch. Scurry, sniff, flinch. {marimbas begin; Timon starts to get into it} Huh... I like the sound of that. Scurry, sniff, flinch. {He begins dancing more and more flamboyantly} Scurry, sniff, flinch. Scurry, sniff, flinch. Scurry, sniff, flinch!

{"That's All I Need", the sister song to "Warthog Rhapsody", begins.}

Timon: {singing} There's more to life than panic

And bein' some other guy's snack—euugh.

{The three hyenas pop up from behind a rock in the background, then disappear again}

Timon: I may be delicious, organic

But this little entree's fightin' back!

I'm gonna put diggin' tunnels behind me

And live at a new altitude

I'm gonna reach for the stars to remind me

That meerkats are not merely food!

For once I'll be... {steps onto a cloud and surfs into a fantasy waterfall setting}

Lookin' out for me... yeah!

I'll tell you what I want

This cat is movin' on

He's a bon vivant

Who's missin' out on bon

I'd be a bigger cheese

Far from the desert scene

A little cooling breeze

A little patch of green!

And I'll be snoozin' in my hammock by a rippling stream

Many miles from any tunnel and the digging team

Looking after number one will be my only creed

That's all I need {slurps up some bugs}

That's all I need!

{Dancing the "Shuffle Off to Buffalo"}

I've always been good at runnin' away

Well, now I'm gonna run the show-ow

I've always been seen as the ultimate prey

But now my status ain't so quo!

{The fantasy and the music dissolve as he improvises, unaware that the three hyenas have surrounded him.}

Timon: {improvising} A dream sublime...

It's hyena tiiime... oh!

Shenzi: {clapping} Oh, look it's dinner and a show!

Banzai: And I thought beans were the only musical food.

Ed: {incoherently} Ooh-oooh!

Timon: frozen in fear} Hy... Hy... Hy...

Shenzi: Well, hi to you too! {smacks Timon, who goes rolling down the hill}

Timon: Ayy! Ohh! Ow! Okay...

Uncle Max: This is no time for horseplay, Timon. You're supposed to be up there lookin' out for... {sees them approaching, snickering} Hyenas!

Meerkats: {they all pop up in terror} Aaaaahhh!

{The meerkat colony runs around in a mad chaotic dash for cover}

Banzai: Whoa, look at 'em scramble.

Shenzi: And that's just how I like 'em...

{A group of meerkats, led by Uncle Max, crash in a line right into Shenzi's snout.}

Meerkats: Aah! Ooh! Uhh!

Shenzi: ...Scrambled. {She slurps them, lifting Uncle Max into the air}

Meerkats: Uhh!

Shenzi: {seeing the whole colony scrambling about} ...And a little bit runny.

{The group of meerkats goes running by, followed by the laughing hyenas, passing Timon who's standing there covering his head}

Meerkats: Hyenas!

{A hand reaches up and grabs Timon; he strains to stay where he is, but gradually the hand manages to drag him head-first into a hole. It's Ma.}

Ma: Get in here! What are you, a meshugginah?

{Ed guards a hole, and snaps at a bunch of meerkats who jump into it one at a time; he misses all of them, but blocks the hole before Uncle Max can get in}

Ma: Stumpy? (Here!) Flinchy? (Here!) Swifty? (Here!) Oh, what a relief. Everybody's... {gasps} Where's Uncle Max?

{Uncle Max is outside, running for his life as the three hyenas pursue him}

Uncle Max: Aaaaahh!

{Uncle Max makes desperately for a second tunnel entrance, where a bunch of meerkats appear and gasp at the sight.}

Meerkat1: Max! Run for your life!

Meerkat2: Play dead!

Meerkat3: Ándale!

Meerkat4: Almost there!

{The screen switches suddenly to the QVC shopping channel, where two women are selling a suede handbag.}

Woman on TV: Suede is the look for this fall. Of course, that is what's happening up in every magazine. What I like about it, other than you've got that long strap, which can clear your coat...

{Timon and Pumbaa are back in the silhouetted theater seats.}

Timon: Hey, what's goin' on? Pumbaa, you're sitting on the remote.

Pumbaa Huh? Oh, sorry. I thought it was a brownie.

{He clicks the remote; we switch back to the scene of Uncle Max's impending demise.}

Meerkat5: You've got it, Max!

{Max is overtaken by the hyenas; the meerkats all shield their eyes as we hear crunching sounds. Switch to the inside of the burrow, where the meerkats stand in shock; suddenly, Max drops from the ceiling, the fur bitten off his tail.}

Meerkats: Max! Is he all right?

Uncle Max: I flinched when I should've scurried. {collapses}

{The hyenas, guffawing, are walking off.}

Banzai: Ha ha! Oh, man! It just never gets old, does it?

Shenzi: Ooh, the classics never do, honey.

{Camera pans down to where Timon is standing in the midst of all the angry meerkats.}

Timon: I, uh... I guess I owe everyone an apology. {pause} All right, so I made a teensy mistake. Like we all haven't broken into song on sentry duty before. Ha ha ha... come on. Let me have a show of hands. {The meerkats all wander off, disgusted; Timon tries to change tactics} Okay. ...Maybe it's a little too soon, but I'm sure we're all gonna laugh about this someday. Trust me.

{Uncle Max and the meerkats are all staring at him severely. Soft, emotional music plays.}

Uncle Max: I did trust you.

Timon: {pause} But...

{The meerkats all silently file out, except for Ma. Timon sighs. Scene switch to the rock outside, where Timon is hunched; Ma emerges from the hole and approaches him.}

Ma: Ohh. Aw, sweetie.

Timon: I'm never gonna fit in here. Nobody even likes me.

Ma: Sure they do, honey. Sure they do!

Timon: Besides you, Ma.

Ma: Uh, besides me? Um, there's, uh...

Timon: I have to find my place; but it isn't here.

Ma: Yes it is. We just haven't found it yet. But we will... {She combs his hair again} Oh, here's an idea. You can run a trail—

Timon: {impatient} Stop with the hair already. My place is out there, Ma. Oh, I may not know exactly where or how far, but I gotta go!

Ma: {desperate to try one last idea} No, wait, wait, wait. I know. If we just...

Timon: {pointed} Ma.

Ma: {pauses, then acquiesces} Well, I hope you find what you're looking for, honey.

{Music turns sweet as Timon comes back to embrace her.}

Ma: Ooh. Ooh, I love you. Mmm!

Timon: I love you, Ma.

{Ma keeps hugging him, tighter and tighter until we start to hear crunching sound effects.}

Ma: Oh, Timmy. My Timmy. Mmm-mmm...

Timon: {strained, muffled} Mom... choking... not breathing...

Ma: Ooh. Mmm. Mmm-mmm.

Timon {aside} And people wonder why I have issues.

{The embrace finally ends.}

Timon: {reassuring} I'll be okay!

Ma: Oh, I know you will! {wistful} You will.

{Ma slowly lets go of Timon's hands. Timon turns away, then begins striding purposefully away into the sunset as traveling music ("Timon's Traveling Theme") begins.}

Ma: {calling after him} Be careful!

Timon: I will!

{Timon marches on a bit further.}

Ma: Don't talk to strangers!

Timon: I know, Ma!

{Timon marches a bit more}

Ma: Remember, wash behind your ears!

{The music slows; Timon turns impatiently.}

Timon: Ma, I'm not a kid any more!

{He resumes marching.}

Ma: Never go swimming without a buddy!

Timon: Got it!

Ma: {almost inaudible} Send us a message— {indistinct}

Timon: {exasperated} Oy! {He turns back and shouts at the top of his lungs} What?!

Ma: I said, send us a message!

Timon: What?!

Ma: I said, send us a—

Timon: {turns back to his path, waves her off} Good-bye, Ma!

{Timon sets off in earnest as African music plays triumphantly. He reaches the open grasslands.}