Ted 2 (TV Version)/Transcript

Transcript

 * Ted: Hey, I'm starving. What the hell are you doing over there?
 * Tami-Lynn: I'm curing cancer. I'm cooking your freaking steak. What do you think I'm doing?
 * Ted: What do I think you're doing? I think you're bleeding us dry, is what I think you're doing. Look at this, look at this: $129 at Filene's Basement. What are you buying over there, Tami? Gold bars?
 * Tami-Lynn: I need clothes for work, all right, Teddy?
 * Ted: You wear a smock. You're a cashier.
 * Tami-Lynn: Yeah? So are you.
 * Ted:Oh, for Christ's sake! Hey, you shut up!
 * Samantha Jackson: He could be anywhere. We're not gonna find him. We should just wait by the car.
 * John Bennett: What do you mean? We have to find him. He's a teddy bear on his own in New York, for God's sakes. Hello?
 * Ted: Johnny. Johnny, it's me. You got to help me.
 * John Bennett: Ted, where are you? Dude, we've been looking everywhere for you.
 * Ted: I'm at Comic Con. But, John, it's Donny. He's here. He's after me. You got to get over here.
 * John Bennett: What the hell? Did you just say Donny?
 * Samantha Jackson: John, what's going on?
 * John Bennett: I totally freaking got you!
 * Ted: Holy!
 * John Bennett: You should have seen your freaking face!
 * Ted: You son of a bitch!
 * John Bennett: That was freaking classic!
 * Ted: Wait, wait, wait. This is payback because I made you think... that I was brain dead!
 * John Bennett: You made me think you were brain dead!
 * Ted: Oh, well done! Well done, man! High five! High five.
 * Samantha Jackson: What the hell is going on?
 * Ted: What's going on, is this guy just won the bull comedy blue ribbon!