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(ALVIN LAUGHING)

ALVIN: We're back!

(YOU REALLY GOT ME PLAYING)

(CROWD CLAPPING RHYTHMICALLY)

ALVIN: Let's go!

(FEMALE FANS SHOUTING)

(CHIPMUNKS SINGING
YOU REALLY GOT ME)

(MAN EXCLAIMS)

(SOLOING)

Nuts.

Give me the Black Beauty.

CROWD: (CHANTING)
Alvin! Alvin! Alvin!

Alvin, take it easy out there.
You gotta share the spotlight.

You got it, Dave.

Uh, Dave?

I'm serious, Alvin.
This is a charity benefit.

It's not all about you.

Sorry, Dave, I can't hear you
over the thousands of fans
screaming my name.

(CHANTING CONTINUES)

I'm back, Paris!

(GRUNTS)

Yeah! A little help, boys.

(EXCLAIMING)

Oh! Yeah!

Yeah, man!

(SOLOING)

Alvin, will you please
get down from there?

I can't hear you!

Alvin, I'm not kidding!
What?

Whoa, whoa!

Dave, look out!

Huh?

Alvin!

Dave!

(ALL GASPING)

Dave!

Dave?

This should
help with the pain.

I wanna talk to my boys.

I just gave you a sedative
that will take effect in
about one minute, so...

Well, let them in quickly.

Dave!
Dave, you're alive!

DAVE: Hey, guys! It was an accident, I swear.

Are you okay? I'm really sorry, Dave.

I'll be fine.
I'm just gonna be
stuck here for a while.

And until I get out,
I've made arrangements

for my Aunt Jackie
to come stay with you.

Who's Aunt Jackie?

The one who sends us
those metal buckets of
yummy popcorn for Christmas.

Oh, Popcorn Jackie.

You don't have much time,
monsieur Seville.

Uh, listen,
I want you guys to go home
and live a normal childhood.

(EXHALES)

(GROGGILY) I've even made
arrangements for you
to go to school.

CHIPMUNKS: School?
Yes, school.

Simon,
I'm putting you in charge.

You are?
(SLEEPILY) I'm
counting on you.

Dave, wait a minute.
Why is he in charge?

Whoa. He's counting on me.

Dave, please don't die.

He's just sleeping.
He's had a sedative.

Oh! A sedative.

Excuse me.
I'm here to escort
the Chipmunks home.

We're not leaving Dave.
I'm putting my paw
down on this one.

You come here!
Oops. Whoa!

I got it. I'll fix it.
Nope, made it worse.

Please. Please go.
Oh, this must be it. Uh-oh!

The more stress you put
on monsieur Seville,

the longer it will
take him to recover!

Whoa! Uh-uh!
You are too slow
for me, nurse.

DOCTOR: No! Don't...
You'll never take me!

I'm not going anywhere without...

(SINGING DAYDREAM BELIEVER)

(SNORING)

I hope for your
sake he stays asleep
for the entire flight.

Maybe we should
give him another shot,
just to be sure.

(GASPS) Ugh!

(SNIFFING)

Any ideas on how
we find Aunt Jackie?

Got it! Follow me.

Excuse me. Ooh, sorry. Whoo!
Excuse me. Coming through.

Look! Aunt Jackie!

Oh, yeah! Aunt Jackie!
ALVIN: Popcorn Jackie!

Oh, hello, dears!
SIMON: Cool wheelchair.

THEODORE: Yay, we found you!

Popcorn! Where's
Simon and Theodore's?

Oh, there's plenty
for everyone.
But let's have a hug first.

Oh!
Get over here,
you old teddy bear!

I'm not really
much of a hugger.

Oh, boys,
I want you to meet someone.
This is my grandson Toby.

Toby?
Hi! I'm Theodore.

Toby.
Huh? What?
What happened? What?

The boys.
Oh, hey.

Hi!
Hey! How are you?

I'm Toby.
Nice to meet you.

Toby's living with me

till he figures out
what he wants to
do with his life.

So far, that means going
"pyu, pyu-pyu-pyu-pyu"
with his thumbs all day.

Well, for the record,
going "pyu-pyu-pyu-pyu-pyu"
with my thumbs right now

is keeping me in first place.
So that's important.

Toby, get the bags.
What bags?

The luggage.
Get the luggage.

The... Oh, the... Right.

Yeah, let me get those.
Oh, sorry.

Toby?

SIMON: Hit the brakes!
Hit the brakes!

(EXCLAIMING)
ALVIN: Abandon wheelchair!

Toby!

(SIGHS IN RELIEF)
I'm fine. Don't worry.

(SHOUTING)

(CRASHING)

(ALL GROANING)

I'm so sorry, Aunt Jackie. I'm so sorry! Is she gonna be okay?

Don't worry about me. I'll be home in no time.

In you go. I wouldn't be so sure.

What? It was an accident. I swear.

Been there, done that. Several times.

I guess you'll be taking care of us now.

I'll take "Frightening Thoughts" for $500, please, Alex.

Not a problem. I can totally do this. I took care of my cat,

until he ran away. Well, "ran away" is kind of strong wording.

I think he just wanted his space.

I still see him around the neighborhood, you know.

He, like, hisses and claws at me,

but I think that's just his way of saying we're still tight. You know.

You guys have nothing to worry about, seriously,

'cause I'm not gonna be like Dave. You know, Dave's gone.

Gone?

Not gone. Not gone, guys. He's... He's not dead. He's very much alive.

He's completely coming back. I'm just gonna be in his room,

keeping his bed warm. I'm gonna be doing my thing,

you'll be doing your thing. You're not even gonna know I'm there.

Uh, we're supposed to know you're there.

That's, uh... That's the whole idea.

Yeah. Yeah! Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, you'll know that I'm there.

I'm just saying, I'm not gonna be, like, "I know everything"

and, "You do this, and you do that," like my dad.

All right! Let's do this.

(STARTS ENGINE)

Oh, boy.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

SIMON: Theodore,
we're gonna be just fine.

The important thing is
we're all still alive.

Well, maybe my get well card
will help Dave
get home faster.

Um... It needs
just a touch more glitter.

Yep, that should do it.
Who's hungry?

Ooh! Ooh!
Me, me! Me! Me!
Let's eat.

(SPEAKS SPANISH)

Simon?

It's a food ghost
town in here. Alvin?

Holla! The Cheese Balls
are in the hizzouse!

Well, you can tell
by the way I use my walk

I'm a Cheese Balls man
No time to talk

Whether you're a brother
or whether you're a mother

You gotta love Cheese Bias
Gotta love Cheese Balls

Ah, ah, ah, ah

Get in my belly
Cheese Balls, get in there

Ah, ah, ah, ah

Stayin' alive

Bingo!
Dinner, she's a-served.

THEODORE: Yay! All right!

Hey! What're you
doing in here?

Uh... Cheese Ball?

MAN ON PHONE: Dude,
let's go! Come on!

Tom-bo, hey, hey,
give me a second,
real quick.

Alvin, I really, really need
to focus right now

because I am
one knockout away
from a heavyweight title.

Ooh, can we play as well?

Uh... You know,
I don't wanna
hurt your feelings,

but I also don't wanna see
anybody get hurt,

and there are gonna be
fists of fury a-flying.

We can play Monopoly. We play Monopoly with Dave all the time.

Do you? That sounds fun, and we should do that sometime,

but right now I gotta get back to floating like a butterfly

and stinging like a bee. So...

Hey, Tom-bo,
you still there, buddy?

(GRUNTS) Who needs Toby,
Theodore? You got us!

Yeah, who needs Toby?
Boys, right this way.

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

(ALL LAUGHING)

(CHIPMUNKS SINGING
YOU SPIN ME ROUND)

(CHIPMUNKS HARMONIZING)

Whoa!

(ALL LAUGHING)

ALVIN: I'm gonna puke!

Do you know
what Dave would say
if he were here right now?

Alvin!
Alvin!

Not bad.
But I think it needs to come
more from the belly.

Alvin!
Alvin!

(ALL LAUGHING)

(PHONE RINGING)

Oh!
SIMON: Phone.
Get it together.

ALVIN: Yee-haw!
SIMON: Shh, shh, shh! Be cool.

Hello?
Yes?

DAVE: Boys, it's me.
(GASPING) Dave!

Dave? As in, "Dave"?

Well, I guess since you
answered the phone,

you haven't burned
down the house yet.

ALVIN: Have a little
faith, Dave.

Yeah. Mayday!

(CLATTERING)

What was that?

(WHISPERING)
Don't stress him out.

Uh, that was
Aunt Jackie. Yeah.

(CHUCKLES) She's making us
a zesty five-course meal.

Really?
Well, can I talk to her?

She's practicing
her pole dancing.

Pole dancing?

What happened
to making dinner?
Guys, what's going on?

Gotta go, Dave.
Alvin, I'm not kidding.

Feel better.
Alvin!

(PHONE BEEPS OFF)

Yep. Nobody does
that better than him.

(ALVIN AND SIMON SNORING)

(THEODORE WHIMPERING)

(EXCLAIMS)

(PANTING)

Toby? Toby, wake up.

(SNORTS) Huh?

Oh, sorry.

Huh? No, that's... That's okay. What is it?

I had a nightmare.

Oh, the nightmares. I hate the nightmares. What was it?

I dreamt we didn't have a family anymore.

Oh, Theodore. Theodore, that couldn't happen.

No, you guys are tight. Nothing could ever separate you.

Unless, like, an eagle swooped down from the sky and was like, caw-caw!

What? And grabbed you and...

(SPUTTERING)

(SHUDDERING)

Which... Which couldn't happen, ever. So why would you...

Why would you ever think that that would ever happen?

You know, 'cause the Eagles are in Philadelphia.

THEODORE: No! No!

Sweet dreams.

(ALARM CLOCK BUZZING)

ALVIN: Toby!
Toby, make it stop!

What are you doing?

There's something
wrong with the clock!

It won't shut up!
I can't sleep!

(YELLING)

(STUTTERING)
That's the point.
It's an alarm clock.

It helps you wake up
early in the morning.

Why would anyone
wanna wake up early?

Well, for school.
You gotta be there by 8:00.

In the morning?

Look, I don't like
getting up this early
any more than you do.

But we are in
this together, Alvin.

Sooner you get to school,
sooner I get to come home
and get back to sleep.

You mean, you don't stay with us at school?

No, no, no, no, no. No, I've done my time, thank you very much.

But school is fun, right?

(CHUCKLING) Fun? Well, I guess maybe it's fun-ish.

Hey, it's my cat! Hey, remember I was telling you? Hey!

Hey! Hey, kitty. It's me. Remember?

(HISSING)

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

(CAT YOWLING)

I treated you good.

(CAT SCREECHING)

Okay, here we go.

Enjoy your first day at school. See you around 3:00-ish.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Okay.

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

We got this. This'll be
a walk in the park.

ALVIN: A chaotic and frightening
walk in the park!

Hi, I'm Theodore.
Hi, I'm Theodore.
Hi, I'm Theodore.

ALVIN: Watch out!
SIMON: Look out!

Hi, I'm...

(ALL SCREAMING)

SIMON: Guys? Guys?

(ALL SCREAMING)

Oh, boy!

(GASPS) Eagle!

MASCOT: Go, Eagles!

Eagle!
MASCOT: Whoa!

(MASCOT EXCLAIMING)

(MASCOT SHOUTING)

(THUDDING)

(MASCOT GROANING IN PAIN)

(CRASHING)

That wasn't very fun-ish.

(CLEARING THROAT)

You must be our new students.
I'm Dr. Rubin, the principal.

And we're the Chipmunks.

Yes, well, that would explain
the fur and the bushy tails.

Follow me, gentlemen.

Gentlemen? Oh, us. Right.

There was a minute left
and we were down by two.
And I'm like,

"Coach, I don't care
if my leg's broken.
Put me in. I can win this."

I never get tired
of this story.

So I hobble out,
barely able to stand.

Did I mention my
leg was broken?

Miss Ortega.
Yes?

Good luck.
Thanks.

Hello, guys. Welcome to homeroom.

Good to be here.

I hope.

THEODORE: So this is a classroom.

(INHALING DEEPLY)

I love the smell of zit cream in the morning.

Hello, ladies.

Is that the Chipmunks?
The Chipmunks!

EMILY: We love you, Alvin!

(GIRLS GIGGLING)

Hi, I'm Theodore. Hi, I'm Theodore.

Yes, he's Theodore, in case you missed it. And I am Simon.

GIRL: Aw! The name's Seville. Alvin Seville.

(GREETS IN FRENCH)

Ah...

Somebody's gonna have to knock those guys down to size.

Well, that should be pretty easy. I mean, they're only 8 inches tall.

IAN: I had 15 cars.

I mean,
that's, like, five more cars
than anybody really needs.

I had seven maids.
I had courtside seats
to the Lakers.

Even my maids had
courtside seats
to the Lakers.

And now look at me.
Look at me!

MAN ON RADIO:
Alvin and the Chipmunks!
I lost everything.

Except for my dignity.
They can't take that
away from me.

(CHIPMUNKS SINGING
YOU REALLY GOT ME
ON RADIO)

And it's all because of them.

(EXCLAIMS)

Oh, hey. Breakfast.

Now I run around
hoping and praying

that I can find other animals
that can sing or dance.
I mean...

(SQUEAKING)

Wait a second.
You don't sing, do you?

Hey! Hey!
That's my muffin!

Give me my muffin,
you dirty rat!

I will get you, Chipmunks.

BRITTANY: Whoa!

Girls,
we gotta get out of here.

JEANETTE: I can't see.
ELEANOR: Ow! Not on my nose!

That's my tail!
Sorry.

BRITTANY: Move your butt!
Okay.

Who's squishing me?

(ALL GRUNTING)

We made it.
Jett Records.

Whoo!

Oh, my gosh.
It's him. Ian Hawke.
Uh, Mr. Hawke?

That voice. I can't
get it out of my head.

Hello? Mr. Hawke!

That's not in my head.
That's really happening.

What do you want?
We want to
introduce ourselves.

That's right.
I'm Brittany, and this
is my sister Eleanor.

Hello, sir.
Such a pleasure
to meet you.

And I'm their
sister Jeanette.

Although I feel more like an Olivia, or sometimes a...

Anyway, we're the Chipettes.

And, well, we would just be so honored to have you represent us.

You made Alvin and the Chipmunks stars. We wanna be stars, too.

Yeah. And hang out with the Chipmunks.

Okay, now, listen, before we get all girlie and giggly about this,

just tell me one thing. You can sing, right?

(ALL WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY)

No, no, wait. Hang on. Not here. Um...

Why don't we take this meeting upstairs in my penthouse office?

ELEANOR: Sure! This is so exciting.

We're really on our way now.

Oh, my gosh. Guys, can you believe it? My first penthouse office!

JEANETTE: Wow!
ELEANOR: Oh, boy!

Oh, my. The Hollywood sign.

Thought you might like the view.

So, ladies, tell me a little something about yourselves.

Well, we grew up in a small town, population 300, and--

Yeah? Really? That's fascinating. Great.

All right, impress me.

(CHIPETTES WHISPERING)

BRITTANY: One, two, three.

(SINGING PUT YOUR RECORD ON)

Girls, girls, girls, girls.

Guess who just became the number one Chipette fan in the whole dang world?

Ian Hawke, that's who.

ELEANOR: Yay! Nice!
BRITTANY: Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh!

So when can we meet the Chipmunks?

That's an excellent question. And the excellent answer is,

I don't really represent Alvin and the Chipmunks anymore.

Oh, no! What happened?

Oh, classic tale.

Sweet and innocent when I met them, and they had nothing.

And then I work my butt off to make them rock stars,

and they changed.

Turned on me like bad cheese.

No! Oh, that's terrible.

I know! I mean, I treated Alvin like he was my own son, you know?

And then he just goes and spits on me.

Literally. He filled his chipmunk cheeks with saliva and just had at it.

And don't even get me started about Simon.

(GASPS) But not Theodore, right?

It's the cuddly ones you have to watch out for.

Oh. But what are we talkin' about them for?

Come on! They're over. Tired. Novelty act.

Chipmunks who can sing.

But girl chipmunks who can sing?

Fasten your seatbelts!

Yippee!
Yay!

So, I'm on Jay-Z's yacht,
right? And I say,
"Jay, where's Beyonce?"

And he says, "She's holding
a plate full of Cheese Balls.
Turn around."

And guess what?
She was!

(ALL LAUGHING)

P.S., Dave left me in charge.

Staying up till 10:00
every night. Oh, yeah!

Hey, girls,
look what I can do.

GIRLS: Aw!
You are Theodore-able.

THEODORE: Thank you.
You're so cute.

Oops! Oh!

I am so sorry.

It's cool. No harm done.
Not yet.

Girls? Please?
Private conference.

(GIRLS GROANING)

Thank you.

Listen up, rock stars.

If you talk to
those girls again,
you're dead.

If you look at
those girls again,
you're dead.

If you even think
about those girls...

Are you thinking about them?

Well, I am now!

That's it. You're dead!
Run!

RYAN: Xander! Come on!

Back here, you dirty rats!
Hang ten, bros!

ALVIN: Scatter!

RYAN: Go, go!
That way! Over there!

Oh, Ryan!

Hey, slowpokes!
Catch me if you can!

You're dead, fur ball.
Not!

(BOYS GRUNT IN PAIN)

It's wedgie time!
RYAN: Oh! My butt!

(ALVIN LAUGHING)

(BOTH GROANING)

(PANTING)

Oh, boy. Uh... Eagle.

(SCREAMING)

Eagle! Eagle!
RYAN: Get them!

Bully! Bully!
RYAN: This way! This way!

Gotcha!

SIMON: Guys, wait, wait.
Time out!

RYAN: It's swirlie time!

Come on, come on, guys.
This is so 1980s.

Please! Please!

(GURGLING)

Oh, man! Come on.
(LAUGHING) Oh!

That's a good look for you.
Oh, thank you.

(GASPING)
Can't swim. Help!

Grab on, Simon.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(PANTING) Thanks.

(SPUTTERING)

You okay?

Well, considering that
you just saved me from
drowning in a toilet,

I'm pretty good.

I'll be right back.

Alvin! Alvin!
We're not going to solve
anything with violence.

RYAN: It's the fatty-ratty!
THEODORE: Cut it out!

RYAN: This rat has
serious junk in the trunk.

XANDER: Yeah, little fatty!
THEODORE: Stop it!

RYAN: He jiggles
when I poke him.

(CHIPMUNKS THRASHING)

RYAN: Mommy!

Simon, does this make
my butt look smaller?

Theodore,
your butt looks fine.
Those guys are just jerks.

(BOTH GASPING)

(GROWLING)

(BARKING)

Gentlemen.

You threatened to
climb inside of him
and build a nest.

That was out of line.

I'm not even sure
that's physically possible.

I should suspend
all three of you.

Please do.

(BOBBLEHEAD SQUEAKING)

Instead,
I have a better idea.

Due to budget cutbacks,

we are in jeopardy of losing
our beloved music program.

That's awful.
RUBIN: I know.

But there is one
small ray of hope.

Every year the district sponsors a music competition.

And the winner's school receives $25,000.

If we win,
we can save our program.

And you want us to perform?

'Cause I didn't think you were a fan.

Why don't you sleep on it?

Wait a minute! What is that? That's us! Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wait. THEODORE: I look skinny.

Promise me that you won't say anything.

A principal has a certain image to uphold,

and if the faculty ever found out about this, I could...

I just cannot believe that you're actually sitting in my office.

I have all of your CDs. I even went to see you last year in Denver.

That's where I got this. It was my birthday.

And I was like, "Oh! The Chipmunks! Ah!"

So what do you say? Will you represent our school?

Honestly, suspension still sounds pretty good to me.

Come on, Alvin. What do you say?

One for all and three for one!

Well put, Theodore. Very well put.

Count us in.
(UNENTHUSIASTICALLY) Yay.

Go, Eagles!

(SCREECHES)

Eagles? Where?

IAN : Ah, the penthouse level.

Tres exclusivo.

(DOG WHIMPERING)

Isn't that that Chihuahua? You know, from the movie?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it... I mean, yeah, of course it is.

A lot of big names live here.

ELEANOR : Hola! Como esta?

BRITTANY : I must have his autograph.

IAN : Hey, hey, Brittany, uh-uh.

You wanna be a star? Act like a star.

All right? You don't get autographs, you give them.

Oh. Right.

Uh... Hey, look, over there! There're a couple of the Jonas Brothers.

(GASPS) Where? I don't see them.

IAN : Here we are! Okay!

Let's scoot in to my...

What? Did I... Oh, darn it! Darn it to heck!

ELEANOR : What's wrong?

IAN : Girls, I apologize,

but I seem to have left my keys back in my office.

What if one of you were to shoot through that mail slot

and open it up from the inside, huh?

ELEANOR : Oh, I'll do it.

(GRUNTING)

I'm stuck!

IAN : All right, I got you. I got you.

(IAN GRUNTING)

ELEANOR : Ow! Not so hard!

IAN : Might want to lay off the nuts.

ELEANOR : Oh.

IAN : All right, how about you, Glasses? You're in better shape. Wanna go?

I'm not that great at things like this.

I got it!

(DOOR UNLOCKING)

Yes!

Ooh! Impressive!

BRITTANY : Nice!

Gee willikers! Stripes!

Oh, snazzy!

Circles! This is the best tree house ever!

A red piano! Oh, Brit.

Is this a dream? Somebody pinch me.

This is way better than a tree.

I just adore a penthouse view.

Nice one, Hawke.

Yeah? You like it? BRITTANY : Do I?

I live here. It's so beautiful!

Yeah.

NARRATOR ON TV : Last time We visited Meerkat Manor,

a rival group called the Commandos

was making large inroads into the Whiskers' territory.

(SNIFFING)

Ah, Toby! I thought Alvin was messy.

This is literally disgusting. I feel like I'm living in a dumpster.

Simon, it's Meerkat Manor. Watch with me.

(SIGHS) You know, you're right. You're right. I just need to relax.

Maybe that'll ease my nerves a little.

(CRUNCHING)

What is this? What...

Oh, you've got to be joking. A taco? In a blanket? Toby!

TOBY : Ladies and gentlemen, going for his turkey, it's the Tobester.

(GRUNTS)

Come on, baby!

(LAUGHING) Yes!

Yes!

(EXCLAIMS)

No problem. Watch and learn,my friends.

Oops. Well, it looks like it's time to play my second favorite game.

Hide the Broken TV from Dave. You wanna play?

No! Go easy on him, taco boy.

This day's been bad enough already.

Oh! I think I see what's going on.

You guys have been having some problems at school?

Uh, no. Not really. Unless you consider

getting your head dumped into a public toilet a problem.

(LAUGHING) Ouch! Swirlies are the worst.

At least that's what I've heard.

Because there's no way that I could possibly know that on a personal level.

Toby, what was school like for you?

Toby? Toby?

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

(GASPING)

(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)

Ow! Ow!

(EXCLAIMING)

(SCREAMS)

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

(GASPS)

THEODORE: Toby? Toby!
What?

What was school like for me? Uh, in a word, awesome.

But, you know, that's 'cause I was, like, extremely popular.

Is that why you still live with your grandma?

And refer to yourself as "the Tobester"?

And go "pyu-pyu-pyu" all day?

(CHUCKLING SARCASTICALLY) Bedtime!

(ALARM CLOCK BUZZING)

(SLEEPILY) Alvin?

Alvin, wake up and
turn off the alarm!

Alvin!

Alvin, I'm not kidding! I'm not kidding,
buddy. Turn it off!

Guys! Guys...

(BUZZING CONTINUES)

Boys, this isn't funny.

ALVIN: (MUFFLED) Hello. Humane Society? Yes. I need help.

A man is after us. He wants to take us to a terrible place.

School! TOBY : Out!

Aw, have a heart, huh? Have a heart?

Dave wants you to go to school, so you're going.

Yeah, well, don't worry about picking us up at 3:00, Toby.

We'll get a ride. In a hearse!

(CHUCKLING) Guys, guys, come on. Look, trust me.

The second day is never as bad as the first.

(CHIPMUNKS EXCLAIMING)

Glasses! Glasses! You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would you?

BOY 1 : You're out, man! BOY 2 : Ha!

Right in the pancreas.

(PANTING)

(BOTH EXCLAIMING IN PAIN)

Call the nurse. COACH : Out! Out! You're out.

SIMON: Come on, Alvin! Remember your five D's!

Dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge!

COACH : Move! You're next, fur ball.

You talking to me? You talking to me?

I'm the only one here, so you must be talking to me.

(BOYS LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING) Yeah! Got him!

BOY : Did you see that?

Oh! Boo-yah!

Unbelievable. He caught it. You're out, man.

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

And the fat lady, she's a-singing.

Dude's got hands. I think they're paws, actually.

Whatever. We can definitely use him on the team.

Hey, fur ball! How would you like a spot on the football team?

Football?

(SPEAKS FRENCH)

I gotta say, you're good. I'm gonna let you hang out with us at lunch.

That is, if you wanna be on the team.

Hmm. Interesting proposition.

SIMON : Alvin?

Let me get back to you on that.

This is a one-time offer. Don't take too long to think it over.

Right! Like I would ditch my brothers just to become the first chipmunk ever

to play on an actual varsity football team.

(LAUGHING) Fat chance!

ALVIN: The stadium is pandemonium!

It's fourth and goal. It's up! It's up!

And he catches it! The crowd goes crazy!

(IMITATING CROWD ROARING)

RYAN : Psst! Hey!

Me? ALVIN: Alvin! Alvin! Alvin! Alvin!

Alvin, I think the super-cool jock table is paging you.

Why would I go over there? Like I really need to worry about being popular.

Hello? Talking chipmunk? Huh? World-famous rock star?

Guy with his own plush doll? Guys, I'm on pajamas!

Not to toot my own horn, but...

(IMITATING HORN TOOTING)

Come on. It's laughable.

Just go, Alvin.

Really? You mean it?

Yeah. Thanks! I'll be right back!

What up, dudes? RYAN : What's up, little man?

XANDER : Welcome to the cool table. Yeah! Bring it.

BOY : Yeah! Pound the paw.

(ALVIN GRUNTING)

I want it! I got it! I got it! I...

Don't got it.

I think he's cute. Me, too.

Toss. And he's up!

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

Thank you. Hey, Alvin.

Call me.

Bernie, I'm telling you, the Chipmunks are old news.

I got the next big thing. Singing female chipmunks.

(PHONE LINE DISCONNECTS)

Hello? Bernie? Hello?

God! What part of "singing female chipmunks" don't these people...

Girls, we're going to school.

ALVIN : And he's up and he scores!

Hey! What up, S?

Whoa! Don't hate on the high-five.

(SARCASTICALLY) Yeah. High-five.

Look, Alvin, I know you guys have been busy

with your sporting endeavors and whatnot,

but I can really use your help at home.

Oh, no can do.

Ry-dawg is gonna teach me how to get pretty girls to do my homework.

(STAMMERING) Alvin, you promised Theodore we'd hang out.

We are watching Meerkat Manor tonight. No pretty girls.

Dude, I can't swing it today, bro.

That's what you say every day, Alvin.

Need I remind you it's your day to do the laundry?

You better listen to your daddy, Alvin. You don't wanna get grounded. Oh!

Are you going to pick that up?

Are you going to make me?

(SPEAKS FRENCH)

I'm just going to elegantly show you how it's done.

Uh, Simon...

Off the glass.

And you call yourself a jock.

(LAUGHING MOCKINGLY)

(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)

My brother, he's a real jokester. Always kidding.

Uh, anyhoo, um, see you guys in class.

Hey, that's my pudding. It's my pudding.

(LAUGHING)

Why are you trying to embarrass me in front of my friends?

Are you kidding me? They're the ones you should be embarrassed by.

Good luck with the show, guys.

Front row seats. Can't wait.

So? What song are we gonna sing?

No pressure, but the whole school is counting on us.

Oh, relax. It's like Ryan says,
who's gonna beat
singing chipmunks?

(I WANT TO KNOW
WHAT LOVE IS
PLAYING)

(ALL SIGHING)

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

Oh, that Simon is dreamy!

I think Theodore was looking at me.

Yeah, I know. But, guys, remember what Ian said?

We can't trust them.

Whoa! Wow!

(SIMON GROWLING)

(PLAYING FOLLOW ME NOW)

(CHIPMUNKS SINGING)

Wow.

What happened?

I never thought I'd say this,
but pink is my
new favorite color.

Her glasses were
quite fetching.

She's like a beautiful
green gumdrop.

Okay, well,
if you guys wanna do this,
you have to pay attention.

Maybe this is a good time
for us to take a break.

Good call. Take five.

She's right.
We need to focus, fellas.
Right.

This is for my screensaver.

Cheese Balls!

Hey, you guys! Hey. You guys ready to go?

'Cause I got a lot of important stuff to do at home.

Oh, you must be their guardian.

That I... That I am. Yes, I am.

Hi, how are you? How are you, Dr. Rubin?

I know that because I went to school here a few years ago.

I don't know if you remember me. Toby Seville? Probably not.

Mmm. Uh...

Toby?

(STUTTERING)

No way! Hi! Hey, no braces.

(GASPING)

Your teeth look great.

(STAMMERING) You... I... Thank you. I appreciate...

I did. I did. I did get my braces off 'cause they were just...

(EXCLAIMING)

Oh! Okay. Oh...

(CYMBALS CLATTERING)

(IMITATING HORN TOOTING)

That... You know what, I know a guy who actually...

Who works on drum heads. So that's very good.

I'll be in the car, guys. So...

Somebody's in love.

That aside, we're going to replace everything. Chipmunk's honor.

Ah, yes, the old false-modesty suck-up routine.

Ian Hawke? I thought I smelled a rat.

May I help you, Mr. Hawke?

Well, I was wondering if I could help you.

I just heard about your musical competition,

and I just skedaddled down here as quick as I could to volunteer my girls.

Oh. Well, that's very thoughtful of you,

but I've already made up my mind.

Well, perhaps this will change your mind. Girls?

(ALL GASPING)

They're with Ian?

Curtains!

(CHIPETTES MURMURING)

MAN: One. Two. One, two...

(BAND PLAYING HOT N COLD)

(SINGING HOT N COLD)

Wow! They're good!

Good? They're astounding!

(STUDENTS CHEERING)

My good people
of West Eastman,

you have just witnessed
the debut of the Chipettes.

Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.

So?

They were splendid, but as I said before, I have made my decision.

Brit? No!

I see. You've made your decision.

I don't mean to speak out of school, Doctor,

but in the true spirit of democracy,

which our great, wonderful country was founded upon,

I say let the people vote. Let them choose!

One person, one vote. I say, let us vote!

STUDENTS: Let us vote!
Let us vote!

Let us vote!
Let us vote!

Please,
don't be a fascist granny.
Let freedom ring, Doctor.

STUDENTS: Let us vote!

Let us vote!

You make a persuasive case, Mr. Hawke.

All right, here's what I'm going to do.

This Friday, each group will perform one song in front of the student body.

Yes! All right!

Whoever gets the most applause will represent the school.

What?

Thank you! Yes!

We did it!

In your face!

Oh, it is on like Donkey Kong.

NARRATOR ON TV:
The meerkats Huddle together
at the end of a traumatic day

to reaffirm
their family bond.

The Whiskers are gonna
Have to rely on each other
more than ever.

Guys, I am so happy that
Ms. Ortega can rehearse with
us every day after school.

Whoa! Every day?

But Ryan and I have...

Alvin,
stop right there, okay?

We're a team.
We need you.

Would you relax?
We're not gonna lose.

We'll talk about
this in the morning.

Not much to talk about.
I will see you at rehearsal.

Stop hogging.

I'm not hogging.

You might as well be
rooting out truffles in
the French countryside,

because you are,
in fact, hogging!

I'm not!
Are so!

Not! Am not! Not! Not!
So! So! So! So!

Ah, forget it!
I think I'll sleep
in my own bed tonight.

Ditto for me.

I'm so glad I'm
not a meerkat!

SIMON: Oh, really?
Why is that?

Because as cold as I am,

I would never
huddle with you!
Good!

You hear me?
I won't huddle!
Fine!

(WHIMPERS)

Uh, Toby?

Can I sleep with you?

What?

Dave lets me.

My brothers are fighting.

Well... I'm... Okay.

(THEODORE SIGHS)

(FARTING)

THEODORE:
Oh, man! Dutch oven!
Not the Dutch oven!

Anything but the Dutch oven!

Must find fresh air
before it's too late!

(SCREAMS)
It's too late! It burns.

(SCREAMS)
Mama, it burns!

(GASPING)

(WHIMPERING)

Hmm, let's see.
What else am I
in the mood for?

How about a side order
of friendly advice?
Courtesy of me.

No, thanks.

Grapes, please.

Ooh! Oh! Excuse me.
Oh! Um...

(LAUGHING) Yeah, well,

(STAMMERING)
I just wanted to
warn you about Ian.

What? You should
be grateful to Ian.

He did
everything for you, Alvin,
and you broke his heart.

Hmm. Really?
How do I put this gently?

He's the devil.
He doesn't have a heart.

Oh, and one of
the things he did for us
was put us in a cage.

Alvin,
he would never do that.

Yeah, 'cause you
were there. I forgot.

Brittany,
you'd better watch out.
I don't need advice from you.

But...
But nothing, Alvin.

Ian's taking us
straight to the top!

(SCREAMING)

(ALL LAUGHING)

Got it.
Straight to the top.

Ironic.
Yeah, funny.

(LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY)

(CHIPETTES SINGING
SINGLE LADIES)

We are so going
to destroy those Chipmunks.

I don't wanna
destroy them.

Me, neither.

I just wanna hang out with them.

All right, all right, all right. Hold... All right, look.

You know, if you feel that way,

maybe we should just withdraw from the contest.

What? Then I'll put you in a FedEx package

and mail you back to whatever tree you came from. Sound good?

No. Okay, then.

Take it from the top. Let's go!

(MUSIC RESUMES)

All right. Wait. Stop!

Short one in the green dress.

What's your name again? Eleanor.

Yeah, look, I'm losing you there, you know.

Have you always been that short?

I... I guess.

Well, you got to work on that. Okay?

All right, let me try something here.

Brittany. Here, come up here. BRITTANY: Uh...

No, you two stay back. Little further.

Oh, yeah. Now, that I like.

And it's not just because Brittany's

more of a mega, ultra superstar than you guys.

Good, good. Okay, you know what?

Let's get a little more separation.

Brittany, stay there. Let's get a little more separation from you guys.

Yeah, let's give her some room.

Give her some room, guys. Back.

Okay. All right, watch me now. One, two, three!

Now, watch me. Watch me now.

(CHIPETTES SINGING)

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello.

Toby?

What are you doing at the house? Where's Aunt Jackie?

Dave! Hey! Hey, Dave, what's happening?

(STUTTERING)

Aunt Jackie is, uh, in the hospital.

I'm a little worried. Who's watching the boys?

I am.

So, Dave, how is Paris?

Wait, are the boys behaving?

Absolutely. They've been just peachy.

Toby, what's going on?

Huh? Nothing. Nothing. No, don't even... Don't even worry about it.

You know, I know that you're not supposed to be stressed out,

so I'm going to go right now. But it's all good here.

Come Home soon! Bye!

(BEEPING RAPIDLY)
Toby?

Toby!

Nurse! Nurse! Get me out of here!

Help!

(EXCLAIMING)

JEREMY : I don't mean to interrupt your game,

but I saw you stand up to Ryan

when he littered. That took guts. Really?

And that's the type of guy that we're looking for.

Jeremy Smith, student body president.

How do you do? I'm...

International recording star and litter monitor Simon Seville.

Litter monitor?

Litter monitor. It's a new position that we've created

to help raise awareness of a pressing problem in our society.

I agree 99% plus 1. You do the math.

Well, Simon, I know this is a lot to ask,

but we're looking for a take-charge guy

to take charge of this very rewarding position.

What do you say?

SIMON : Excuse me, everybody. Quick announcement.

I'm Simon. I'm the litter monitor.

Put your trash in the garbage can. Peace out.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Hello, ladies! You probably weren't aware

that you dropped a wrapper on the ground,

so we're just gonna call this one a warning.

Carry on.

What up, dudes? What up, Al?

Hey, everybody! Check it out!

The newest member of the football team.

Suiting up for our first away game.

Ry, don't mess with me.

I talked to coach. You're in.

Dude! That's great! Awesome!

So check it out, A-man. We're watching the new litter monitor.

I wasn't aware the school even had a litter monitor.

We don't. But don't tell him that.

Are you going to pick that up? No.

Well, I'm sorry to hear that.

I guess I'm going to have to give you a citation.

Oh, no! I got a citation for littering! Oh, no!

You wanna play that game, do you? Well, guess what?

I can play that game all day long.

Simon! It's a joke, dude.

Litter is no joking matter.

No. You're the joke. We're messing with you.

There's no such thing as a litter monitor.

What? Good one, huh?

(CHUCKLES)

You knew about this, Alvin?

Does the word "brother" mean anything to you?

(STAMMERING) Yes. Of course.

Yeah, well, he has some new brothers now that he's on the football team.

(TEETH CLENCHED) You still haven't picked up that litter.

You want me to get rid of litter? Yeah.

Let's start with you. Hey, let... Let go. Let go!

No! Whoa!

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

Downtown! Whoo!

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

Uh, I'll catch up with
you guys in a second.

Simon! Simon!

Simon!

Okay, I am a total jerk,
I admit it.

So are we cool now?

(SIMON SCREAMING)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(PANTING)

Okay. Alvin, I am going
to put this behind us
for Theodore's sake.

I know. That's why I'm giving you the Alvin guarantee

that I will be at that sing-off Friday night.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Why wouldn't you be there?

(STAMMERING) Because I have a...

(MUMBLING)

What? A...

(MUMBLING)

You have a what? A football game!

There! I said it! A football game!

(SIMON SCREAMING)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Simon? Alvin? Is everything all right?

Theodore! Yeah, we're fine.

(CHUCKLING) Just a little dumpster wrestling.

(CHUCKLES) Crazy in here.

Right.

Don't worry, Theo! Everything is going to be fine.

Alvin, do not miss that sing-off.

Don't worry, Simon. I'll be there.

I can do both.

Hey, guys, thanks so much for helping out today.

Toys for Tots is a really cool organization.

So, everybody's getting cool points today.

What's going on with Theodore?

I have no idea.

(SIGHING)

Hey, Eleanor, why don't you see if Theodore needs some help?

Well, okay.

(MUMBLING)

(EXCLAIMS)

(ELEANOR EXCLAIMING)

(EXCLAIMING)

Oops. Oh!

Um, they don't look very comfortable.

Oh, my shoes? They're not.

But Ian says that I need to work on being taller.

Well, I think you look great just the way you are.

You do?

Uh-huh.

(PHONE RINGING)

DAVE : Hi, you've reached Dave Seville. Please leave a message.

(BEEPING)

Hi. Toby? This is Julie Ortega. We talked yesterday.

Well, we kind of, sort of did.

Um, anyway, the reason I'm calling is that I'm worried about THeodore.

He's been acting a little down lately.

Um, I Hope you're going to the sing-off Friday.

You know, with His dad gone, Theodore needs all the support He can get.

So, I'll see you tHere. I Hope we get a Chance to talk. Bye.

MAN 1 ON PA : Okay, folks. Time to get behind your undefeated Warriors.

The visiting Eagles are down by five

with about 30 seconds left in the game.

Time is running out for the Eagles.

MASCOT : Go, Eagles!

MAN 2 : Quarterback Ryan Edwards really needs to make a move Here

or this game is over.

I know they're gonna put me in. They've gotta put me in!

(PLAYERS GRUNTING)

(WHISTLES BLOWS)

RYAN : Time out! Time out!

MAN 1 : Time out, Eagles.

Fourth and 15 with nine seconds remaining in the game.

Substitution, Eagles.

All right, boys. It's time for the big A.

I'm gonna crush them. I'm bringing the pain!

The Alvinator is in the house!

Are you sure about this?

Fourth and 10, Xan. We need to go with the secret weapon.

Trips right, Alpha left, motion on me. Time to make history, boys.

Ready! ALL: Break!

GIRL : Defense!

XANDER : This ain't no dance, baby!

I'm taking you down, Jennifer!

You're the one going down, rat face.

I'm gonna crack you like an acorn and eat you for dinner,

with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Is he talking about my father?

A-42! A-42!

Hut!

(CROWD EXCLAIMING)

Incoming!

Yeah! MAN ON PA : Touchdown, Eagles!

Oh, yeah. Come on! That's what I'm talking about.

Don't hate the player, hate the game.

And I love how awesome I am.

MAN ON PA : Final score, Eagles 15, Warriors 14.

What do you think about that, suckers? Oh, yeah!

In your faces! That's what I'm talking about.

You're like the Randy Moss of chipmunks.

Yeah! Give me an "A." Give me an "L."

Give me a "V." Give me an "I." Give me an "N."

What does that spell? Awesome!

BOY 1 : Way to go, Alvin!

I'm the king of the world!

BOY 2 : Party with the MVP!

Oh, yeah!

BOY 3 : Party with Alvin!

You got that right.

BOY 3 : Everybody to the beach house!

Let's do it!

CROWD : Alvin! Alvin!

Alvin! Alvin!

CROWD: Chipmunks! Chipmunks!

CROWD: Chipettes! Chipettes!

So, look, guys, I just want you to know that I'm here for you.

There's plenty of time. I'm gonna go find Alvin,

everything's gonna work out.

Thanks, Toby.

MAN ON PA : Ladies and gentlemen, Dr. Rubin.

(CROWD APPLAUDING)

RUBIN : Thank you, students. Thank you.

Welcome to our exciting sing-off competition

between the Chipmunks and the CHipettes.

Now, remember, students, there are no winners or losers.

Yeah, remind me to tell the Chipmunks

that when we blow them off the stage.

The group that we choose today will give

our school a chance to win $25,000

to save our music department.

So, without further ado, I give you the Chipettes!

This is it, girls. Can you believe it?

Brittany, your time to shine, baby.

Go out there and knock them dead.

Yes, sir! I can do it!

You two, I just want to let you know not to get in Brittany's way.

Oh.

Oh. Okay.

(BAND PLAYING SINGLE LADIES)

(CHIPETTES SINGING
SINGLE LADIES)

Like what you see?
Call Ian Hawke.
310-555-5309.

Don't worry, Simon.

Alvin will walk through that door any minute now.

(DOOR OPENS)

Alvin!

(CHUCKLING EXCITEDLY)

I am back!

(HARMONIZING)

Girls, that's for us.

Thank you so much.

Thank you. Thank you.

Well done, ladies. And now,

let's Hear it for a group that will rock you like a Hurricane.

At least that's what many of you students Have told me.

Here they are, the Chipmunks!

(STUDENTS CHEERING)

Hey, you know they say there's no "l"

in the word "team," and they're right.

But you know what there is an "l" in? "Alvin."

Sucks to be you. Girls!

Sadly, he's correct.

THEODORE : Did you find him?

Guys. Sorry, I searched the whole perimeter.

And I don't know why, but the team's not back yet.

Well, what should we do?

I would...

I would ask someone who's not me.

(SIGHS)

I know what
we should do.

AUDIENCE: (CHANTING)
Chipmunks! Chipmunks!

Chipmunks!
Chipmunks!
Chipmunks!

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

(AUDIENCE MURMURING)

Hi, everyone.

(CLEARING THROAT)

Our brother Alvin
couldn't be here today.

The thing is,
we've never performed
without Alvin.

And we're not
starting now.

(STUDENTS CHATTERING)

You can't have
only two little pigs.

You can't have
only two musketeers.

So, you know
you can't have
only two Chipmunks.

Thank you.

(STUDENTS MURMURING)

(STUDENTS BOOING)

I'll take you home.

(BOOING CONTINUES)

Hear that, girls?
That is the sound
of success.

I realize
How devastated you
Chipmunk fans must be.

So, I guess that means
that the Chipettes

will be representing
West Eastman...
Come on, girls.

Let's take a victory lap.

Hey, come on, guys.
Let's go.

Brit, we have to.

Let's go.

Yeah! Let them know!

Thank you. Thanks.

Ah, life is good.

Especially when
you're not a loser.

Hey, guys! I'm here!

Guys?

Oh, great.

They're gone, Alvin.

They're never
gonna forgive me.

You know, Alvin,
Ian was right.

You don't care about
anyone but yourself.

(GULPS)

Oh, and by the way, I never wanted to win this way.

(SIGHING)

Simon? Theodore?

Simon, are you awake?

Theo?

(WHISPERING) Theo!

(SIGHS)

Theodore? Theodore?

Theodore, I don't blame you for being mad... Uh-oh.

"I ran away from home.

"Don't look for me at the zoo, 'cause I'm not there."

Oh, no, Theodore.

Hello? Meerkat family?

(GRUNTING)

Oh, brother.

(GRUNTING)

Is anyone home?

My name is Theodore. I'd like to be in your family.

Maybe they're hiding. Don't be afraid!

(EAGLE SCREECHING)

(GASPS)

(STAMMERING) You are not a meerkat.

Toby, you take the lions, the tigers and the bears.

Simon and I will take the butterfly room.

(EAGLE SQUAWKING)

THEODORE : (STAMMERING) Nice eagle.

SIMON : Theo!

Don't move, Theodore!

No problem there.

Hang in there! Hang in there, little guy!

We're gonna get you out of there!

Okay, okay, we need a plan.

We need a carefully executed plan.

Or you could just run in there like a maniac.

(SCREECHING)

ALVIN : Theo, watch out!

Hi, I'm Theodore.

(GRUNTS)

Hey, birdie! Over here! Are you hungry?

'Cause this "A" stands for "appetizer"!

(SCREECHING)

Let's all just relax and we'll talk this out. Okay?

Look, I get why you want Theodore. I do.

But, I'm sorry, I can't let that happen.

He's my brother. Not that he'd know that,

because I've been such a big jerk lately.

If anyone deserves to be eaten, it's me.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Not literally!

I got you, Alvin!

Move it!

Oh, Theo. Help!

Guys, it's a wedge-tail eagle.

Their only mortal enemy is the pygmy elephant.

Luckily, I speak a little pachyderm.

(TRUMPETING)

(CHIRPING)

I think it's working!

(TRUMPETING)

Or not!

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

Guys, that was huge.

He's right.

So, are we back to one for all and three for one?

Come on, Simon. Hug it out.

You know I'm sorry, Si.

Si? Don't make me have to kiss you!

Because I'll do it. I don't care.

(SMOOCHING)

Here come the lips.
Make-out train is
leaving the station.

(TOOTING)

(CHUCKLING)

Think I'll take
that hug.

(SIGHS) Guys.

(SINGING SINGLE LADIES)

Interested?
Call Ian Hawke.
310-555-5309.

Deloris, get me that Ian Hawke on the phone.

(CHIPETTES HUMMING
SINGLE LADIES)

There you are...
Hi.

...my sweet
little moneymakers.

Do you remember
when I told you

that I would make
you all big stars?

Yeah.
Well,

guess who's opening up
for Britney Spears

at the Staples Center
tonight?

(SQUEALING) Yeah!

Pinch me.
Am I dreaming?
Oh, my gosh.

Wait, tonight?
We'll miss
the school contest.

That is correct.
You will miss
the school contest.

You're so smart.
I can never get
anything past you.

It was never about
that stupid school contest.

It was always about
making Brittany a star.

Oh.

That's what you wanted,
right?

(GASPS)

(HESITANTLY) Well, yeah.

Well, tonight's
your big chance.

It's all about you,
Brittany.

What about
Jeanette and Eleanor?

Yeah, well,
they can sing backup.
I got them some stuff, too.

Oh!
Hey!

But we're her sisters.

And the three of us
sing together
or not at all.

Okay, fine.
All I really need
is the B-girl.

Ian, I won't do it
without them.

Okay. Fine, fine.
Let's move on to plan B.

Okay! Who likes barbecue?

Barbecue?

Because I know this awesome little

barbecue restaurant in the Valley

that makes the best roasted chipmunk.

(INHALES) Mmm, real tasty.

Unless, of course, you wanna sing.

Oh!

(BRITTANY SIGHS)

Welcome to West Eastman, and thank you

for supporting music in our schools.

Now, remember, the group you pick tonight

will win $25,000 for their school!

Now, we've got a lot of acts, and we Have to turn the Heat off at 9:30,

so without any further ado, representing Orange Grove,

put your Hands together for Li'l Rosero!

(ALL NIGHT DANCE CREW
PLAYING ON STEREO)

So, we meet again.

What? You want a piece of this, eagle?

(CHUCKLES)

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Ian Hawke?

I'll take that.

Oh, I didn't realize
I pocket-dialed
1-800-LOWLIFE.

BRITTANY: (SOFTLY) Alvin?
Brittany?

Yeah, could you guys
fill in for us?

We're not gonna be able
to perform tonight.

What about
the music department?

The whole school
is counting on you.

I know. I know.
I should have listened
to you about Ian.

Don't tell me!

Yep. He locked us
in a cage.

What? This is the biggest you have?

I had my assistant call
and ask for the biggest limo.

This is not the biggest limo you have.

I'll go break the news to Dr. Rubin.

Brittany?

Alvin, don't move!

You got it!

Brittany, I'm coming to get you.

Simon, tell Jeanette how to pick the lock.

Roger that!

Oh, man. I need to get to the girls, fast!

Oh! I know how!

(WHOOPING)

(ALL NIGHT DANCE CREW
CONTINUES PLAYING)

Jeanette, focus.

The third number is notoriously the hardest to crack.

I'm assuming it's a prime number, but we can't assume...

Simon! The first two numbers were ones. I got to go with one.

(GASPS) It opened!
IAN: All right, girls.

Ian's coming.
Put the phone back. Hurry!

Get ready to be fabulous.

Oh, we're ready.

Yeah, you better be.

Because tonight's performance is going to put me back on top.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(ENGINE REVVING)

MAN: Next up,
please welcome Cherice!

(BAND PLAYING NO ONE)

(SINGING)

Driver-man,
take me to the arena.
VIP entrance.

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

How about a little
moon roof action?
Moon roofs are go!

Rooves? Moon roof.
Roofs? Rooves?

Ooh, champagne.
Don't mind if I do.

You know why
I don't mind if I do?

Because tonight,
we've got to toast
to a very special someone

named me.

They said
I couldn't do it.

They said I'd never
bounce back.

Guess what?
Time to kiss
my sweet... Ooh.

Oh, yeah.

A toast to the ladies

who're gonna
make the world
forget about the Chip...

What...

(GIGGLING) See you!

No. No, no, no! No!

What are you doing? Alvin!

Hi, Ian!
Good to see you!
You never write!

Oh...

No! Brittany... No!
ALVIN: Come on, girls!

I signed a contract!

Jump, Jeanette!
IAN: Wait!

Uh, I'm not
really good at...

BRITTANY: I got you.

IAN: I'm dead
if you don't perform!

Punch it, Alvin!
You got it!

No! Don't!
BRITTANY: Hey, Ian!

In the words of the Donald,
"You're fired!"

Alvin!

(CONTINUES SINGING NO ONE)

Hey! Hey. Hey, guys. Any sign of Alvin yet? Huh?

No. No Alvin, and no Chipettes.

Just Dr. Rubin and, you know, the entire school counting on us.

(STAMMERING) Well... Yeah, you know, don't worry.

Everything will work out-ish.

(CONTINUES SINGING)

BRITTANY: Faster, Alvin!
ALVIN: Don't worry.

I'm gonna get a little help from my friend Digger!

Roger that, Alvin! Look out!

Whoa! Feels like I'm back at the race track.

MAN: Hey! Careful!

IAN: Keep going! What are you doing?

Yeah.

Wait till I tell everybody back home I saved Alvin Seville.

I guess I owe you an apology about Ian.

Stick with me, Brit. I'll never steer you wrong.

(BRITTANY EXCLAIMING)

BRITTANY: Oh, yeah. I'll never doubt you again.

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

I gotta say, he is definitely persistent.

We have got to lose him.

Hang on!

(CHIPETTES EXCLAIMING)

I've got a plan. Jump on the count of three. Three!

CHIPETTES: Whoa!

Oh! That's it.

JEANETTE: I'm not
really good with heights.

BRITTANY: Just
hang on tight, Jeanette.

Bring my girls right to me.

We need the remote.

Guys, I know what to do.

It's hats off to Ian.

Whoa!

ALVIN: The remote!

ELEANOR: I can't reach it!

I'm going for it.
Grab my ankles.

(EXCLAIMING)

I got it!

(GASPS) I got it.

ALVIN: Way to go, Jen!

BRITTANY: Nice work, Jeanette!

Good going, Jen!
Hey, Ian, you were wrong.
I don't need these!

Oops!

(GROANING)

JEANETTE: Ooh!
BRITTANY: Ouch!

My bad!

Adios, Ian!

And now for our
final act of the night.

Now, listen, we've had
a last-second change
to the line-up,

but we don't think
you're gonna be
too disappointed.

Representing West Eastman,
it's the Chipmunks!

We may have to
go out there, Theodore.

ALL: Chipmunks! Chipmunks!

Chipmunks! Chipmunks!

Chipmunks!

Well, if there are
no Chipmunks, we're gonna
have to move on. So now...

(ALL BOOING)

I don't wanna be
booed again.

I'm sorry.
We're gonna have to move on.

Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! I...

Um...

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

(STAMMERING)
I'm not a Chipmunk,
as you can see.

BOY 1: Play some music, you loser!

BOY 2: Play some music!

ALL: Yeah!

More music!
Play some music!

(STAMMERING) Okay, okay.

Okay, okay, I got a song.
I got a song, I got a song.

(SINGING) Ever since I met you

I wanted to be your guy

But as you've
probably noticed

I'm pathologically shy

And standing on
this stage right now
I think I'd rather die

So I'm just
gonna start by saying

Hi

Hi.

Now, that was huge.

(ALL CHEERING)

Thank you. Thank you.
No, really. Thank you.

What the...

The Chipettes
are in the building!

It's the Chipettes!

Alvin!

Theo!

BRITTANY: Hello, West Eastman!

I'm putting her down!
Hang on!

THEODORE: Alvin!

SIMON: Double
high-five, brother.

High-five!
Oh... Oops.

Ladies and gentlemen,
representing West Eastman,

it is my great pleasure...

This is such an honor.

For you or for us?

BOTH: For us.

BOTH: Jinx!
Double-jinx!
Triple-jinx!

Quadruple-jinx!
Infinity-jinx!

Guys! We get it.

Huddle up, gang.

SIMON: Okay,
here's the plan.

I give you the Chipettes
and the Chipmunks!

(WE ARE FAMILY PLAYING)

(CHIPMUNKS AND
CHIPETTES SINGING)

Dave!
Dave!

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

Thank you.

Whoo! Thank you.

SIMON: Thank you.
Oh! Thank you so much.

Hey, everybody.
It's clear that we have
a winner of the $25,000!

And it's West Eastman High!
West Eastman High!

ALVIN: Guys, we did it!
THEODORE: Yeah!

RUBIN: Wow!
JEANETTE: Can you believe it?

SIMON: A little something
for the music department.

ALVIN: All right!

Right back
at you, Dr. Rubes!

Whoo!

Oh, yeah!

CROWD: Chipettes! Chipettes!

ANNOUNCER ON PA:
Ladies and gentlemen,

the Staples Center is proud
to welcome the Chipettes!

(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
Hi, everyone. I'm Jeanette.
And I'm Eleanor.

And I'm Brittany!

And we're the Chipettes!

GIRL 1: What?
GIRL 2: What is that?

(ALL MURMURING)

One, two, three.

(SINGING SINGLE LADIES)

GIRL 3: That's not
the Chipettes!

(ALL BOOING)

Come on, lady.

I know, I know.
All right, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
I know, I'm sorry!

(IN NORMAL VOICE)
I'm going!

(CHIPMUNKS AND CHIPETTES
SINGING SHAKE YOUR
GROOVE THING)

Dave!
You're dancing!

You're moving
good, Dave!

Yeah!
Welcome home.

So, did you miss us?

Of course I missed you.
You're my boys.

SIMON: Cool!

And, Dave, just think
how much you'd miss us
if there were six of us.

Alvin, what did you say?

Well, the Chipettes
needed a place
to crash, right?

So, I said
that you said

they could stay
with us for as long
as they needed to.

Alvin!

Okay! This one's for Dave.

Everybody,
shake what your
mamma gave you!

(CHIPMUNKS AND CHIPETTES
CONTINUE SINGING)

(ALL CHEERING)

Look at you.
All ready for bed.

Looks like the Chipettes
are a good influence.

Thanks, Dave.
Thanks, Dave.

Thanks, Dave. (LAUGHS)

Okay, guys. Now lights out.
Good night, everybody.

Good night, Jeanette.
Good night, Simon.

Good night, Dave.
Good night, Alvin.

Alvin?

I'm not tired.

Sorry, but you've got
school tomorrow.

Not tired.

Alvin, come on.
It's time for bed.

Not tired.

Alvin?

Still not tired.
More awake. Tired.

Just kidding.
Much more awake.

Alvin, that's it.
Don't make me
come over there.

Okay.

Whoa!

(CRASHING)

Ooh, boy! I suddenly got
really, really tired.

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Night, Dave.

DAVE: Alvin!

(CHIPMUNKS SINGING
YOU SPIN ME ROUND)

Good start, gentlemen.
Only 10 more rows
of bleachers to go.

Let's do it.

(ALL GROANING)

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

(BRING IT ON PLAYING)

All right, guys.
All right. All right.

All right,
I'm out. I'm out.
Oh, is this necessary?

Oh, come on.
Oh, is that necessary?

Is that...

At least let me go
back and get my purse.

English - US - PSDH

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