Okay. One picture and we're history.
That's what I'm afraid of.
[Sighing]
Come on.
Boy: Oh, man, do we have to do this?
You want everyone at school to think we're chicken?
I could live with that.
You wuss. Come on.
Oh, whoa!
Oh, man!
I-I don't see anything.
Do you?
No, I don't see anything.
Let's just take the picture and get outta here.
Fine, fine. Here, take the picture.
Now, wait a minute. I gotta be in the picture too, or no one will believe I was here.
Just shut up and take the picture.
No, you take the picture.
You take it.
You!
Young Male Voice: Guys, guys, don't fight. I'll take the picture. Say cheese!
[Boys Screaming]
A ghost!
Man: And to the Save The Dolphins Foundation: $ 11 million.
To the Save The Pumas Foundation: $ 1. 2 million.
To the Patagonian Wasp Salvation Fund: $ 1.4 million.
To the Dyslexic Dalmatians Foundation: 4...
To **** with the livestock.
What'd the old stiff leave me?
[Clearing Throat]
Um, I believe that what the bereaved... is trying to express is that the sudden death... of her only father has feft a great gaping void... in her bank... in her life.
Carrigan wonders what he has left her to fill it up with.
Hmm. Let's see.
Bobcats, owls, snakes.
Daughter: Carrigan.
Whipstaff Manor in Maine.
And?
And I'm late for lunch, so if you'll excuse me.
Are you trying to tell me that I just spent the last two days... holding his clammy hand, waiting for him to kick, and all I get in return is one lousy piece of property?
No, it was lousy 50 years ago.
Now it's condemned.
Enjoy.
Wait a minute!
This is not fair I'll contest it, then I'm gonna drag you and every one of those damn dolphins into court.
Knock yourself out.
Dibs! This is all your fault, as usual.
If you would have just forged the damn will.
Carrigan, this is condemned seafront property.
Oh, Dibs! Don't you get it? Flipper got more money than me.
Carrigan, the deed's in there!
Oh! Ouch!
Ow. Ouch!
[Dibs Blowing, Muttering]
"Buccaneers and buried gold. Whipstaff doth a treasure hold."
Treasure?
Dibs, you idiot!
Get it out!
I knew that place was worth something. There's treasure in that house.
And finally, I'm gonna get what I deserve.
Carrigan, I think I need a doctor.
Oh, there's plenty in Maine.
So... what do you think?
I think you're gonna get wet.
[Car Engine Revving]
Hey! Wait!
Carrigan!
Carrigan!
[Thunder Rumbling]
[Door Slamming, Creaking]
Dibs, light, light!
What a dump.
[Thunder Rumbling]
[Dibs]
Wow. Wow.!
This place is fabulous.
You could just do so much with it.
I mean, it's a bit spooky.
Dibs.
Aaah! Aaah!
[Blowing]
Young Male Voice: Hello.
Huh?
Carrigan: [Whispering] Who is it?
Dibs: Who is it?
Young Male Voice: Afraid I can't answer that.
Carrigan: [Whispering] Why not?
Dibs: Why not?
Young Male Voice: It's kind of hard to explain. Uh...
Carrigan: Is he the caretaker?
Dibs: Are you the caretaker?
Young Male Voice: No.
Carrigan: [Whispering] Is he a transient?
Dibs: Is he... Are you a transient?
Young Male Voice: No, not exactly.
Tell him to show himself.
Young Male Voice: Here's the thing. If I do, don't scream, okay? I get that a lot.
Dibs: Are you a burglar? I must warn you that I am armed.
Carrigan: Listen! Cut the crap, okay? If you don't show yourself, I'm gonna have you arrested for trespassing!
Young Male Voice: Okay, okay. Geez, calm down, lady. Here I come!
[Seeing the ghost, the two screamed]
Little Ghost: You shouldn't do that or you'll wake up... Too late.
So tell me, you have experience?
I have-a quite a bit of experience.
Not, you know, like, exactly doin' it.
But I've studied it, and I've talked to people who have done it.
I've-a seen videos, and I feel very confident with-a my knowledge...
I could do it, no problem.
Then you can handle this?
It's-a no problem.
It's-a like no problem whatsoever. Piece of cake.
Piece of crumb cake.
Well?
How did it go?
Oh, it was-a fine.
Was, uh, no problem.
Piece of cake.
Ray: Who you gonna call? Someone else.
What do we do now?
What do I usually do when something stands in my way?
Man: Check those fuses!
Dib: Um, are you sure we're not going a tad overboard here?
Dibs, I have huffed and puffed.
Now I want to rip this place down.
I want my treasure.
They can't haunt a pile of rubble, for Christ's sake.
People, people, please.!
You're sweaty male construction types, for Christ's sake!
Dibs, do something.
Charlie, quick, keep runnin'!
Don't look back!
Run, Charlie, run!
Little Ghost: Wait, wait. They were just kidding. Honest.!
Oh, every time. All I want's a friend.
Did you ever feel the way
Priscilla Cow felt?
That you'd like to be completely different?
Almost everybody feels like that once in a while.
But most of the time,
I hope you can be glad to be yourself.
That's really something to celebrate.
[Static]
Old Lady: [Screaming] A g-g-ghost!
More on the Pentagon playboys as the story unfolds, but now:
Step aside, Sigmund Freud.
Jump back, Joyce Brothers.
It's Dr. James Harvey, therapist to the dead?
Murphy: Are you depressed, anxious?
Are you lonely?
Do you need someone to talk to?
No problem, if you're a ghost.
Man: You can call them ghosts, if you like, or as I prefer, the living impaired.
But the bottom line is, they need help sometimes.
Just like the rest of us.
Murphy: After the sudden, unexpected death of his wife Amelia,
Dr. Harvey gave up conventional psychiatry and, some say, conventional sanity.
Now, along with his loner daughter, Kat... short for Kathy...
Doc Harvey travels from town to town, searching for paranoid poltergeists, scared specters, the depressed and the dead.
Man: How do you feel about what your father does for a living?
Could you please not ask me any questions?
Do you believe in ghosts? Ever seen one?
Does your father ever hurt you?
He's my father.
Could you just talk to us?
Look, it's the first day of school. I'm sure I'm gonna have homework, so would you please?
Little Ghost: Carrigan.
Carrigan: What part don't you understand?
Murphy: But who is this man...
No, not "I ate fish."
I hate fish.
Don't you have cows here?
Listen, I have had a long and trying day.
Do you think you could bring me a pint of Haagen-Dazs ice cream, rum raisin, and a Diet Pepsi?
Think you can handle that?
[TV: Indistinct]
Now you want me to hold.
Fine.
Dr. Harvey: With therapy, they can begin to process this pain.
They can pack up their emotional baggage, and they can move on.
My Harry passed away five years ago, but he was so miserable, his spirit wouldn't leave the apartment.
So I called Dr. Harvey.
He came over.
And in a few weeks,
Harry left, smiling.
Dr. Harvey: The living impaired are known for haunting us.
My question is, what's haunting them?
It's a lack of resolution.
Ghosts are simply spirits without resolution, with unfinished business.
It's my job to find out what that is.
And so Dr. Harvey continues his work, dragging his daughter along for the ride.
This week they're in Santa Fe.
But next week? Boo knows?
Now, from the ghost shrink to shrinking thighs.
Yes, I'm still here.
The miracle fat cream experiment, next.
Get me Santa Fe.
****["That's Life"]
[Frank Sinatra]
** That's life **
* That's life *
[Backup Singers]
** That's life **
[Together]
* That's what all the people say *
* You're ridin' high in April shot down in... **
[Radio Off]
Oh, honey, I'm sorry about your Cactus Spooners.
Kat: Crooners.
I don't care what they said.
You are not demented.
You're a picture of mental health.
They were talking about you.
Try explaining afterlife therapy to a bunch of junior high kids.
Some people go through life never questioning the norm.
But you and I, we're doing something extraordinary with our lives.
No, we aren't doing anything.
You're the one who's been packing up my stuff and moving me around the country.
In two years, I have been to nine different schools.
I have eaten in nine different cafeterias.
I can't even remember anyone's name.
For once, I would just like to be... in one place long enough to make a friend.
Honey, you will.
I mean, come on.
We're movin' to Friendship, Maine.
Even I might make one.
You better, Dad.
'Cause a single guy your age is more likely to become a bank hostage... than to make new friends.
[Chuckling]
You sound like your mother.
You're not gonna find her. Mom's not a ghost, Dad.
Oh, yes, she is.
She has unfinished business.
There's no such thing as ghosts.
I'll tell you what.
You go with me this one last time.
If I don't find what I'm looking for, it's over.
No more moving, no more ghost mining.
You promise?
I promise.
Deal.
Deal.
Dr. Harvey: Wow! It's not so bad, huh?
Kat: If you're Stephen King.
Carrigan: Dr. Harvey, hello. I'm Carrigan Crittenden. And this is Dibs.
Dibs: Hello. I'm a close, personal friend.
Dr Harvey: Ah. [Chuckles] And this is my daughter, Kat.
Kat: His close, personal daughter.
Carrigan: How nice to meet you, Kat.
Dib: Very nice to meet you.
Carrigan: You have a beautiful daughter.
Dib: Very beautiful.
Carrigan: I can't tell you how happy we are you could come to Whipstaff.
Dib: Very happy.
Carrigan: The both of us.
Kat: You're kind of hurting my face.
Carrigan: Sorry. Now, Dr. Harvey, exactly what time frame are you looking at? Tell me you go in the house and spray and that's it.
Dr. Harvey: No, no, no. As with a traditional psychological cure, it can take weeks or years for...
Carrigan: Excuse me. You didn't just say the word "years," did you?
Dr. Harvey: It's conceivable.
Carrigan: No, it isn't. Days is conceivable. Weeks, maybe.
Dibs: Possibly.
Carrigan: Months? No. Years? Forget it! Forget it. Dibs, check. Get the bouquet. Now, Dr. Harvey. I will be watching you very closely. These are for you!
Dib: Have a lovely night.
[After they are gone, Kat and Harvey enter inside the mansion.]
Kat: [amazed] Wow.
Little Ghost: It's her. She's here. She's in my house. I did it! What if she likes me? What if she doesn't? Hi, I'm Casper. I'm a ghost? No, that's total disaster. Oh! Yo, I'm Casper. So, give me four. Oh, God, I'd kill for a pinky.
[Electricity Crackling]
Dr. Harvey: Huh? See? That was easy.
Kat: Yeah. These should hold for now, but we ought to get a box of 20 amps in the morning.
Dr. Harvey: Oh, uh, right, yeah. Uh, twenties should be fine.
Kat: All right, I'm gonna go find a room, Dad.
Dr. Harvey: You gonna be alright alone?
Kat: Hey, if I'm not back in ten days, send a search party.
[Kat goes around the mansion as she looked. She peered inside a room and turned on the light.]
Kat: "Stretch, " "Fatso," And "Stinkie"? Man, they had cruel parents. Wonder where Doc and Dopey sleep.
[Kat then enters inside another room. It seemed clean and nice.]
Kat: Dad! I found my room!
Little Ghost: There's a girl... on my bed. Yes!
Kat: Hey, space master. In here.
Dr. Harvey: Oh. It's very scary. Have you seen any surprises yet?
Kat: Please. This is the deadest place yet.
Dr. Harvey: Oh, this is a nice room.
Kat: Yeah, right. This place is a freak's holiday.
[They began to unpack the stuff.]
Kat: Mom belongs over here.
Dr. Harvey: Hey, how about if I help you unpack?
Kat: Why bother? We'll just be repacking in two weeks anyway, right? I'm kidding, I'm kidding. This place is... fine.
Dr. Harvey: Good. Night, Bucket.
Kat: Night, Dad.
Dr, Harvey: We're gonna be glad we came. You watch.
[Kat began to take out and fold her clothes. She picked up a sock and tossed it over. But when she did something spat and the sock landed on her back. Alarmed by the sound. Kat slowly stood up and turned, seeing a ghost behind her.]
Little Ghost: Hi?
[Kat faints at this.]
Little Ghost: Oh, man! Perfect first impression. What a jerk. Better?
[Casper and Kat Screaming]
Harvey: Honey? Hon... Honey? Honey, what?
Kat: Dad, Dad! I saw a ghost! It was a real ghost. It was a real, live ghost.
Harvey: Slow down. What are you saying?
Kat: I saw a ghost. It had a head, and it was round, and it was white and see-through.
Harvey: Honey, wait. Now maybe...
Kat: Dad, please. Do not think I'm as crazy as I thought you were. I promise.
Harvey: No. I promise. But remember, ghosts can't hurt you, okay? They're simply spirits with unfinished business, alright?. Let's just see about this ghost. Come here. Come on. Check here. Oop, see? No ghost there. Now we can check over here. Nope. Oh! No, there's no ghost in there. We can even check over here. There. See?
Little Ghost: Pleasure to meet you, sir.
Kat: Dad! Put me down! This is insane. What are you doing? I can walk, you know?
Dr. Harvey: Oh, my God, this is big.
Kat: Um, Dad? We're in a closet.
Dr. Harvey: Right. Now, I want you to stay in here no matter what you hear, okay?
Kat: Okay. Wait.
Dr. Harvey: What?
Kat: Dad, I'm sorry.
Dr. Harvey: For what?
Kat: For not believing you. For thinking you were a total loser.
Dr. Harvey: Aw, honey... Apologize later.
Little Ghost: Blew it, blew it, blew it, blew it...
[Voices Cackling]
Yee-haw.!
Little Ghost: Uh-oh, it's them.
[Cackling]
Here they come!
Yee-haw!
Man, oh, man, them ponies run faster when we go down to Belmont.
Here, Flicka.
Bleaaugh!
Little Ghost: Hey, guys. Have fun?
Oh, look, it's Casper.
Casper.
You know on a scale of one to ten... ten being fun, and one being you... yeah, we had fun.
[Horse Whinnying]
Giddyup there.
Say, bulbhead, why ain't you inside doin' your chores?
Yeah, where's dinner?
I'm starvin'.
I'm wastin' away.
I know. How about you guys relax out here, and tonight we'll eat al fresco?
Hey, sounds great.
Who's that?
Short sheet, you wouldn't be trying to keep us outta the house, would ya?
No! No!
I can see right through that bulbous head of yours.
It's just such a lovely night.
I thought we'd have fun eating under the harvest moon.
* Shine on *
** [Accordion]
* Shine on, harvest moon
Up in the sky **
[Screaming]
[Cackling]
Bye-bye!
[Cackling Continues]
Hey, hold it.
[Sniffing]
Hey, Fatso, you smell somethin'?
[Sniffs] Yeah!
No, besides him.
Dr. Harvey: Hello?
Together:Huh? Hey!
Dr. Harvey: Hello? Hello? No need to be afraid. The idea, don't be afraid. I'd like to make contact with you, but just one little thing, please. Don't pop out from under a rug or through a keyhole. No spooking. Let's get beyond that. I would like to approach you. Now, I'm coming in the room now. I'm in, in the room. Can ya deal with that?
[Ghostly Trio] Can you?
[Snarling]
Dive!
Dive!
Dive! Huh?
[Straining]
Kat: Dad! Dad?
I'm gonna kill you, your mama and all her bridge-playin' friends.
You think you got it tough?
I got a face-lift. There was one just like it underneath.
Kat: Dad? Dad? [Screams]
Fatso: Hey, boys, we got a closet case here.
Stinky: Smell-o-gram.
Stretch: Sushi, anyone? California roll coming up.
Dr. Harvey: Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Together: All for one, and one for all!
Stretch: Catch your pants before they fall.
Fatso: On the runway now, we have Dr. James Harvey, wearing smashing underwear.
Stretch: Marky Mark he's not!
Stinky: You are good.
Stretch: Oh, stop. It's you.
Fatso: Are we scary or what?
[Cackling]
Dr. Harvey: Aiii-ya!
Stretch: Oh, and it looks as if we're gonna go into sudden death overtime.
Fatso: Anybody for a little shish ka-doc?
Stinky: I am!
Stretch: Who do you think you are, defiling our domicile, huh?
Dr. Harvey: Dr. James... Harvey, your... therapist.
Kat: Dad? Dad?
[Kat gave one more push before she was fallen out of the closet and right onto the little ghost.]
Little Ghost: Are you okay?
[Gasping in horror, Kat screamed and she ran off to the main hall where she finds her dad fighting the ghosts.]
Kat: Dad? Dad?
Stinky: He's down for the count. The winner... by a clean stink-out!
Dr. Harvey: Get back.
Stretch: What the hell is that thing? Not the nose!
Stinky: I'm bein' hosed!
Fatso: No, no, no, no, no! Th-Th-This sucks!
Kat: Dad? Are you okay?
Dr. Harvey: Oh, I'm fine. Why don't we go, uh, regroup?
[They began to leave downstairs, leaving the ghosts still stuck in the vacuum.]
Get your hand out of my mouth!
Oh, man, who let one?
Fasto: Well, who do you think?
Who's got their pointy head in my...
Fatso: That's not my head.
Stinky: You know, fellows, we're never this close anymore.
[As morning came, Kat woke up early to go downstairs. She had a small vacuum with her just in case the ghosts come back. She opened the door to the kitchen. No one is here. That was when the white ghost appeared.]
Little Ghost: Morning!
[Kat whimpers, knowing that the ghost might scare her again.]
Casper: Oh, no, no, no, please don't scream. I-I promise I won't hurt you. I'm a ghost. Yes, I admit it, but I'm a friendly ghost. You have to trust me. If you scream, you'll wake up my uncles, and they get awfully cranky. I'm gonna let you go now, okay?
Kat: You're so cold.
Casper: Yeah, but it saves on the heating bill. [floats next to a chair.] Come on. It's okay.
[Kat slowly walked toward him.]
Kat: I can see right through you.
Casper: Kind of happens when you don't have any skin.
Kat: Wh... What are you made of?
Casper: Well, you know that tingling feeling when your foot falls asleep? I think I'm made of that.
Kat: Um, sunny-side up kind of makes me yak.
Casper: No problem.
Kat: So, can you go invisible?
Casper: Ha, ha. That one's easy. It's fresh. Go ahead.
Kat: I've never done this before.
Casper: Me neither.
Kat: Can you hurt me?
Casper: No.
Kat: Can I hurt you?
Casper: No.
Kat: Cool.
Casper: Morning, Dr. Harvey. Uh, some breakfast?
Dr. Harvey: Well, uh, yeah. Honey? You okay? Good.
Casper: How about a paper? The New York Times? The Journal? Hong Kong Press?
Harvey: Sure.
Casper: Comin' at ya.
Dr. Harvey: Well... [Nervous Chuckle] Hope you're hungry.
[Whirring, Dishes Rattling]
****[Instrumental: "The Ride of the Valkyries"]
****[Ghostly Trio Humming]
[Cackling]
[Inhaling]
I love the smell of fleshies in the morning.
I'm melting! I'm melting!
Auntie Phlegm!
Auntie Phlegm!
Oh, what a world!
What a world!
Dr. Harvey: They're gone.
Kat: What happened?
Dr. Harvey: They must have crossed over.
Fatso: Don't think so!
Stretch: Guess again, bonebag!
Dr. Harvey: Fellas, good morning.
Stretch: Casper! How dare you serve these air-sucking intruders before us.
Casper: I was just...
Stretch: Give me... My meal!
Casper: Okay, okay.
Fatso: I feel like Oprah on hiatus.
Stretch: You look like Oprah on hiatus.
Fatso: Ketchup, please.
Stretch: You know what the problem is? Casper's got no respect for us.
Fatso: After all we've done for the little glowworm.
Stretch: Yeah. Hey! What the hell do you think you're doin', bulbhead? This floor used to be dirty enough to eat off of.
Casper: But we have company.
Stretch: Oh, yeah? Well, company loves misery. Boom!
Kat: You guys are disgusting, obnoxious creeps.
Together: Thank you!
Kat: I mean, what's your problem? He's just cleaning the floor.
Stretch: Shut up, skinbag.
Kat: Piss off.
Stretch: Take a hike.
Kat: Get a grave.
Dr. Harvey: Honey! You've got the school thing. You don't wanna be late.
Ghosts: [Mimicking] "Don't wanna be late. "
Kat: Drop dead!
Ghosts: It's too late!
Dr. Harvey: You'll have a lot of fun. I know you will! All right, guys. We've obviously gotten off on the wrong foot here. Now, you know and I know that you really shouldn't be here. So I'll tell you what. Why don't you go ahead and finish your meal... and we can meet in my office and start the process of crossing over. What do you say?
[Ghosts cackling]
Dr. Harvey: Well, it's your hour.
[Bike Bell Ringing]
Amber: Watch it!
Vic: Hey, Amber! Wait up!
Girl: Hey, you guys.
[Bike Bell Ringing]
Boy: Whoa!
[Children Chattering]
Vic: Had that locker last year.
Kat: Thanks.
Vic: My name's Vic.
Kat: [Nervous Chuckle] Kat.
[Locker Slamming]
Amber: Coming, Vic?
Mr. Curtis: Okay, gang, let's settle down.
Put a lid on it!
Mr. Curtis: Okay, I've got a couple of announcements to make. First, the asbestos removal from the gym is taking longer than planned. We're gonna have to push back the Halloween dance by a couple of months.
Amber: Well, as most of you know, my parents have finished the new boathouse. So I'm sure it'd be no problem having the party at my place.
Mr. Curtis: Great! That's done. Secondly, we have a new student today. I'd like you all to meet Harvey Kathleen. Would you like to come up and say hi to everyone for me?
Amber: Harvey.
Mr. Curtis: So, why don't you tell us something special about yourself, Kathleen?
Kat: Um, well, it's Kat. And, um, I guess I just moved here... with my dad from Santa Fe. And Friendship seems like a pretty friendly place.
Mr. Curtis: So where are you guys living?
Amber: In outer space?
Kat: No. Whipstaff? You've heard of it?
Boy: You actually live there?
Kat: I know it looks kind of funky and stuff from the outside. But, I mean, I don't know... Inside it's kind of cool.
Amber: Well, yeah, if you drink blood.
Boy: Mr. Curtis, check this. We're dead for the Halloween dance, right? This girl has a seriously, seriously creepy house with room to spare.
Amber: I thought we were having the party at my place. Okay, we'll take a vote. Whoever wants the party at my house, raise your hand.
Mr. Curtis: Whipstaff?
Students: Yeah!
Fatso: Johns Hopkins University? Very impressive.
Stretch: Very. Pull!
[Gunshot]
Pow!
[Cackling]
Pull!
Dr. Harvey: Not... this one. Thank you, gentlemen.
Stretch: Hey, what a dish, Doc!
Stinky: The little missus perhaps?
Fatso: Hubba, hubba! [Howling]
Stretch: Fatso, you animal. She available, Doc?
Dr. Harvey: She's my wife Amelia. She's deceased.
Fatso: Even better.
Dr. Harvey: But... we're not here to talk about me.
Stretch: See? Now don't you feel just awful?
Fatso: I was just goofin'.
Stretch: Don't be goofin' on Amelia. She's as nice a person as they come. She's always treated you right, huh, Stinkie?
Stinky: I got no complaints. She's always been an angel to me.
Dr. Harvey: Wait a minute. What are you saying?
Stretch: I'm sayin: She's a peach. None better. Why?
Dr. Harvey: You've actually seen her?
Stetch: You think I'm blind? Of course I've seen her. Who hasn't?
Stinky: You're not lookin' for her, are ya, Doc?
Dr. Harvey: Well, that's not really the focus of our sessions here, is it? But as long as you raised the issue, you wouldn't have a way.. of contacting others like yourselves, would you? I didn't think so.
Stretch: Now, that's not generally allowed there, Doc. I mean, ya gotta go through channels.
Stinky: Paperwork.
Fatso: Red tape.
Stretch: A holy mess, you know? But for you? I don't know. Maybe we could work somethin' out. You keep that ghoul Crittenden off our backs, and I'd say we got a deal, right, boys?
Deal?
Deal.
Fatso, you know where Amelia floats.
Go!
It's that easy, huh?
We got a ghost-to-ghost network.
We share haunting stories.
We throw parties.
The parties are always pretty dead, though.
That was fast.
I... I think it's for you, Doc.
[Together] Go.
Harvey: Amelia?
My man!
[Cackling]
Kat: Vic? What are you do... I mean, hi.
Vic: Can I come in?
Kat: Uh, no, no. It's so much nicer out here... in the flesh... fresh air.
Vic: So did ya ask your dad about the party?
Kat: Yeah, yeah. He, um, kind of hit the ceiling, but, um, I think it's gonna be okay.
Vic: Cool. So, listen, if you're not hooked up with anybody else, you wanna... I don't know... hang out with me at the party?
Kat: I'd love to.
Vic: All right, cool. All right, see ya.
Okay.
Yes!
Amber: Well, did you ask her?
Vic: Yeah.
Amber: And she actually believed you?
Vic: This really bites.
Amber: No, it's absolutely perfect.
Casper: Hey!
****[Music Box]
Casper: See? I'm a good dancer. Whoa! Don't need a costume. I'm always the life of the party.
Kat: Casper, listen. I know you want to go.
Casper: Come on. We'd have a great time together.
Kat: Casper, I have a date.
Casper: What's this Vic guy got that I don't, huh?
Kat: A pulse?
Casper: Big fleshy deal.
Kat: A tan.
Casper: Very bad for your skin.
Kat: How about a reflection?
Casper: Okay, okay, but can he do this?
[Mimics Arnold Schwarzenegger] Come with me if you want to live.
Kat: Casper? Casper! No! Don't! Casper, no! Casper, no! No, no, no, no!
[Screaming]
Kat: Casper, no. Oh, my God! High! This is very high! Casper, this is beautiful.
Casper: I come here every night.
Kat: Alone? What were you like when you were alive?
Casper: I was... I was... I don't remember.
Kat: You don't remember anything from your life?
Casper: No.
Kat: So... Nothing?
Casper: No.
Kat: You don't remember what school you went to, how old you were? Your favorite song? What about your dad? Not even your mom?
Casper: Is that bad?
Kat: No. It's just kind of sad. I wonder why you don't remember anything?
Casper: Guess 'cause when you're a ghost, life doesn't matter that much anymore. So you forget.
Kat: Sometimes I worry that I'm trying to forget.
Casper: Forget what?
Kat: My mom. Just certain things. The sound of her making breakfast downstairs. The way she put on her lipstick... so carefully. I do remember... she always used Ivory soap. And when she'd hug me, I'd breathe her in... so deep. And I remember, before I'd go to sleep, she'd whisper in my ear, "Stardust in the eyes, rosy cheeks and a happy girl in the morning." Casper? If my mom's a ghost, did she forget about me?
Casper: No, she'd never forget you. Kat? If I were alive, would you go to the Halloween dance with me? Kat? Can I keep you?
Kat: Casper, close the window. It's cold.
[The next morning, Kat went downstairs.]
Kat: Hey, Dad! Found your Visa card.
Harvey: Where was it?
Kat: Um, in your wallet. Maybe I could use it to buy this perfect costume I saw in a store downtown.
Dr. Harvey: You always made your costume.
Kat: No, Mom did.
Dr. Harvey: I think I could come up with something pretty good. Why don't we roll you in aluminum foil, and you could go as a leftover? Don't worry. You always look cute.
Kat: I don't wanna look cute. Cute's like when you're nine years old... and you've got papier-mache around your head. I want to look... nice. Like... Like date nice.
Dr. Harvey: Really? Uh... Honey, I think maybe it's time that we... sat down and...
Kat: It's a little late for that, Dad.
Dr. Harvey: How late?
Kat: Oh, don't worry. Not that late.
Dr. Harvey: Oh, good. You know that I would love to buy you everything you wanted. But until Miss Crittenden pays me, that thing is pretty worthless.
Kat: Oh, well, that's okay. Don't worry about it. I'm sure I can come up with something perfect for the party.
[Ghostly Trio] **It's my party and I'll die if I want to **
**Die if I want to **
Kat: Dad, please, whatever you do, don't let those guys crash it.
Dr. Harvey: Oh, no, I think they're actually getting to be quite focused now.
[More cackling]
Ghostly Trio: ** You will die too when it happens to you **
**Da, da, da-da, da, da ****
Fatso: Big finish!
Stretch: Scream or sugar?
[In the Attic, Kat sees a door and she enters inside, She looked at one of the boxes and blows the dusts off. She opened them and saw something that she could decorate the room.]
Stretch: [German Accent] Vell, vell, ze patient has finally arrived.
Stinkie: Late again, I see.
Stretch: Could this be an expression of hostility, Doc?
[Cackling]
Fatso: It's your hour, Freud.
Stretch: What? So silent? No pearls of wisdom today, Doc?
Stinky: Come on, Doc. Stay tough. Don't stop.
Stretch: Come on, Doc. Hang with us homeboys. Hey, wait a second. What? You ain't thinkin' about packin' it in now, are ya, Doc?
Fatso: We were just startin' to have fun.
Stinky: It ain't often we meet a bonebag as amusin' as you.
Stretch: Boys, this is serious. I think the doc is havin' one of them fleshy breakdowns.
Stinky: Time for drastic measures.
Fatso: Think we should break into a song?
Stretch: No! It's time we gave the doc our own prescription.
Fatso: What about the party?
Stretch: The party will have to wait.
Stinkie: Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
Gentlemen?
Happy hour!
Happy hour!
Happy hour.
Yee-haw!
Ghostly Trio:**Ninety-nine bottles ofbeer on the wall **
**Ninety-nine bottles of beer ****
Fatso: [OS] Just the dead guys!
[Carrigan and Dib ducked once the ghost leave through the window with Harvey in their grasp.]
Dib: This is an outrage. This is appalling. You pay a man to get the ghosts out of the house, and what does he do?
Carrigan: He gets the ghosts out of the house.
Dib: Exactly.
Kat: It's about time.
Casper: Ohh!
Kat: Look familiar?
[Casper looked around.]
Casper: I know this. I had five fingers. I remember!
[Train Whistle Blowing]
Casper: Hootie!
[Whistle Blowing]
Casper: And wait!
[He heads out of the room, into a chest and pulled out a white dress.]
Casper: Check it out. Hands up, Kat.
Kat: Oh, wow.
Casper: It was my mom's.
Kat: Can I...
Casper: Go ahead.
Kat: Oh, Casper, it's perfect. You think I could wear it to the party tonight? Casper?
[Casper had spotted a small red sled. He started to remember of how he had died.]
Casper: I begged and begged my dad to get me this sled, and he acted like I couldn't even have it, 'cause I didn't know how to ride it. And then one morning, I... I came down for breakfast and there it was, just for me. For no reason at all. I took it out, went sledding all day. My dad said, "That's enough," but I couldn't stop. I was having so much fun. Then it got late....got dark...got cold... and I got sick. My dad got sad.
Kat: What's it like to die?
Casper: Like being born. Only backwards. I remember I didn't go where I was supposed to go. I just stayed behind... so my dad wouldn't be lonely.
Kat: Is that your dad? "McFadden claimed that he was haunted by the ghost of his dead son, and that he invented a machine to bring him back to life: The Lazarus."
Casper: Hee-hee. Sorry. I guess we'll have to take the long way. Hurry up! Come on! My dad hid it so no one can find it, but I remember where it is! Wait'll you see it.
Kat: Don't you know a shortcut?
Casper: You got it.
Kat: Casper, no! Wall... human? Stop!
Casper: Hey.! Over here. Go ahead. Sit down. I would hold on.
Kat: Why?
[Machine Clanging]
Kat: Casper!
Casper: Well?
Kat: What was that?
Casper :The "Up and At 'Em" machine. My dad was a great inventor, but he had a little trouble getting going in the morning. Didn't he ever hear of caffeine?
Kat: What is all this?
Casper: My dad's lab.
Kat: Kind of a slob, wasn't he?
Casper: Down here, he could do whatever he wanted to. But no matter how busy he was, he would drop everything to play pirates with me. Man, we had so much fun. Aye, matey. Buccaneers and buried gold. Whipstaff doth a treasure hold.
[Dibs and Carrigan appear and saw what Casper was saying. They began to hide again.]
Carrigan: Come on. Dibs!
Kat: So where's this Lazarus thing?
Casper: You're looking at it.
Kat: Down there? Huh. That's useful.
Casper: Oh, I know there's a way to get it going. I just can't...
Kat: What about that?
Casper: That? Nah. That's the vault. Wait! It's gotta be this!
Casper: Hey, I did it!
Casper: Lazarus!
[Kat looks over to the shelf and found a bottle with red liquid in it.]
Kat: What is this?
Casper: Careful! That's what makes the whole thing work. Kind of an instant primordial soup mix. It's what brings ghosts back to life. Just enough for one. Pull the lever.
Kat: Which one?
Casper: I don't know. Try one.
Kat: Casper?
Casper: I'm gonna be alive.
Kat: Oh, man, how am I gonna do this? I couldn't even get my Easy Bake oven to work. Okay.
Kat: Casper?
Casper: Am I alive?
Carrigan: Dibs, do you have any idea what this means?
Dib: Yes! No...
Carrigan: You don't have to be scared of death anymore. One minute you'll be a ghost; next, you're back on your feet, free to come and go as you please.
Dibs: Hell, you could even fly through...
Carrigan: Walls. Thick walls.
Dibs: Thick as steel.
Carrigan: Certainly could get to whatever's behind those walls.
Dibs: Like a, a treasure, for example?
Carrigan: And snap, crackle, pop: You're back alive and on your way to the Riviera.
Dib: If you were a ghost.
Carrigan: If you were.
[Dibs Screaming]
Carrigan: Damn it, Dibs! This won't hurt a bit. Stop being such a weenie! It's just business. Come on! If you would just...
Dib: So there you are.
Carrigan: Dibs, you're takin' this way too personally. Oh! Please!
Dibs: Carrigan! Are you a ghost yet? Carrigan! What a tragic waste. She had my favorite sunglasses.
Voice: Not so fast, little man. The bitch is back.
Dib: Wha...
Harvey: * Warden threw a party at the county jail *
* The prison band was there
They began to wail *
** The band played hard
Thejoint began to swing **
** [Humming]
* You should've heard those knocked-out jailbirds sing *
* Let's rock *
Stinky: Hey, this Dr. Harvey's got a lot of spirit, you know what I'm sayin'?
Stretch: Yeah, but he's got his whole miserable life ahead of him.
Fatso: So we could do him a favor and put him out of his misery.
Stretch: Yeah. Hey, good idea. We been the ghostly trio long enough. Time to make it a... quartet!
****["Jailhouse Rock" Continues]
****[Melodic Piano]
Dr Harvey: Could I just say something here? And get a little personal?
-All: Oh, yeah.
Harvey: Well, I just got to tell you...you guys remind me of what it's like to hang out with the boys. I mean, you are absolutely there for each other. I mean, you look life right in the face. You say, "I'm a ghost. I don't need you. Mmm." You know what? I'm gonna tell that Miss Critten Picken... Uh, Crichton Critten... Crut... I'm gonna tell that lady you aren't goin' anywhere. It's your house. You're haunting it. Possession is nine-tenths of the law.
Ghosts: No.
Yes.
Aww.
Harvey: I didn't think so at first, but... you guys are great. I love you... guys.
Stretch: What a sweetheart.
[Glass Shatters]
Fatso: I can't croak him now.
[Stick "Boings" in Wall]
Stinkie: Me neither. No way.
[Gunshot]
Dr. Harvey: All right, boys! The night is young. We are gonna clean out every bar this town has got. We're gonna booze it until we lose it. Come on. Come on. Whoop.
[Screaming]
[Crash]
Casper: Think my ears just popped.
[Loud cackling cause them to look. A shape flashes through the air and into the vault. The vault opens, revealing a monstrous humanoid figure of a white haired woman ghost.]
Carrigan: Come to mama!
[Cackling]
Casper: My treasure!
Carrigan: You mean my treasure.
Kat: Miss Crittenden?
Carrigan: In the flesh. Well, in a couple of minutes.
[Cackling]
Dibs: Oh! Ah! Oh!
[Dibs had arrived, holding the vial.]
Carrigan: Dibs! What are you doing?! This is no time to shave!
Dibs: Helping you, remember?
Carrigan: Remember what?!
Dibs: This!
Kat: You stole that! That's Casper's.
Carrigan: So sue me! Dibs! The capsule, now!
Dibs: Coming. I'm coming, okay? Keep away from me.
[Casper takes the vial just as Dibs fell in the water. Casper went over to Kat.]
Casper: Here. Jump in.
Kat: Oy. Perfect.
Mr. Curtis: We're here.
Kat: Uh, okay. Hi. Come on in. This is the room. Um, stay together; you'll be safe. And I'll be right back.
Vic: Amber, do we have to do this?
Amber: Hey, she wants a Halloween party, she's gonna get a Halloween party.
[Casper and Kat enter back to the lab where Dibs, who had gotten out of the water, tried to pry the treasure chest open.]
Casper: Hey, that's my treasure!
Dib: Stay back! Keep away from me.
Kat: Casper!
Dib: Don't come near me, you spiteful spook, or I'll knock you into the next world.
Kat: Come on. Let's go.
Carrigan:* Ta-da! * Hey, "poppin' fresh," it's my turn in the oven! Dibs! Get this thing cooking, you blasted little worm you!
Dib: Ah... Carrigan. How kind of you to drop in. You know, if there's one thing I've learned from you, it's: Always kick 'em when they're down. And baby, you're six feet under. Oh, what a shame. Sorry, sweetheart. We're through.
Carrigan: [Gasps] I am not gonna forget this, you ungrateful, lousy little worm you!
Dib: Oh, you can haunt me all you want, but it's gonna be in a great big, expensive house, with lovely purple wallpaper, and great big green carpets, and a little dog called Carrigan... a bitch, just like you. I got the power! I got the treasure.
Carrigan: And you have a flight to catch!
Dib: Huh?
[Screaming]
Carrigan: Any other takers?
Casper: No. But aren't you forgetting something?
Carrigan: What?
Casper: Your unfinished business.
Carrigan: My what?
Kat: You know... unfinished business. All ghosts have unfinished business. That's why they don't cross over.
Carrigan: Unfinished business? I have no unfinished business. I have my treasure, my mansion. I have everything. I'm just perfect. [Cackling] Wait! Wait! I lied! I have unfinished business, lots of unfinished business! I-I'm not ready to cross over yet! Wait! You tricked me, you rotten little brats!
[Screaming]
Casper: My treasure!
Kat: A ball? That's your treasure?
Casper: Are you kidding? It's autographed by Duke Snyder, the Brooklyn Dodgers. My favorite player.
Kat: Casper... it's time.
Honey, I'm home!
Whoooaaa-ehhhh-whoo-ohhh!
Kat: Dad? No! What have you done to him?!
Stretch: Nothin'. He's just a little... dead.
Dr. Harvey: I'm free! I've never felt so good in my life. I can fly-y-y-eee!
Fatso: Rookie.
Stretch: Stinkie, work with him.
Kat: Dad?
Dr. Harvey: Hey! Who's the girl?
Kat: Dad, it's me. I-It's Kat.
Dr. Harvey: Kat. Kat? Kat Ballou.
Stretch: Katatonic.
Stinky: Katastrophic.
Fatso: Kreplach soup!
[Cackling]
Stinky: Flesh flood alert.
Kat: Dad? [Sniffing] Don't you remember?
Dr. Harvey: Oh, yeah! I remember!
[Raspberries, Laughing]
Kat: No! No. No. This.
Ghosts: Uh-oh.
Casper: Come on, Dr. Harvey. You need this more than I do.
Kat: Casper.
Casper: This is the way it's gotta be.
Kat: Dad?
Dr. Harvey: Oh, Kat! Oh, that felt like the strangest dream. I... I thought we almost lost each other for a minute there. Oh, Bucket.
Casper: Your party started without you. Your date's probably waiting.
Dr. Harvey: Maybe we should get going. Uh... where are we?
[Kat Laughs]
[Chattering]
Harvey: Well, go ahead.
Kat: What about you?
Harvey: Hey, this is your party. Go do your thing. Go hang. Or chill or kick it or whatever you call it. I think you got a date out there.
Kat: Thanks, Dad. I hope no one saw that.
[Laughs]
Amber: Hold still!
Vic: I'm trying. Could you weigh any more?
Amber: Just shut up and get your head down. Oh, my... Oh, you gotta see this. People are gonna freak.
Vic: Let me see. Cool.
Stretch: Thank you.
[Cackling]
- [Screaming]
Kids: Yeah!
You're...
That's right.
Kat's mom? Are... Are you an angel?
That was a very noble thing you did tonight, Casper. I know Kat will never forget it. She needs her father. And I know yours will never forget it either. You fulfilled his greatest dream, Casper, and I know he is very, very proud of you. And for what you've done, I'm giving you your dream in return. But it's just for tonight. Sort of a Cinderella deal.
- So I have until midnight?
Hey, Cinderella got until midnight.
Cinderella wasn't 12 years old.
*Every now and then **
** We find a special friend **
** Who never lets us down **
** Who understands it all **
**Reaches out each time we fall **
** You're the best friend that I've found **
**I know you can't stay **
**But part of you will never, ever go away **
** Your heart will stay **
**I'll make a wish for you *
**And hope it will come true **
** That life will just be kind **
** To such a gentle mind **
**lf you lose your way **
** Think back on yesterday **
**Remember me this way **
** Ooh-ooh **
**Remember me **
** This way ****
[Gasps]
I told you I was a good dancer. [Whispering] Can I keep you?
Kat: Casper?
Amelia: Hello, James.
Dr. Harvey: [Whispering] Amelia.
Amelia: It's alright. It's just me.
Dr. Harvey: I... I thought I'd have a hundred things to say when I... How?
Amelia: Let's just say you know three crazy ghosts who kept their word. James, I know you've been searching for me. But there's something you have to understand. You and Kat loved me so well when I was alive.. that I have no unfinished business. Please don't let me be yours.
Dr. Harvey: But, Amelia, I don't... I don't really know what I'm doing.
Amelia: What parent does? James, Kat is growing up beautifully because of you.
Dr. Harvey : No wonder I miss you so much.
Amelia: Just a couple things, though. Don't pick up the extension every time she gets a phone call. French fries are not a breakfast food. And don't ask her to wear a T-shirt.. under her...
Dr. Harvey: Ah, under her bathing suit. I know. Out daughter is...
Both: A teenager.
Dr. Harvey: Wait. Where are you going?
Amelia: Where I can watch over both of you... until we're together again. Good-bye, James.
Casper?
Not bad for my first party, huh?
Couldn't have been better.
It ain't over yet. Boys!
** [Rock]