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Riggs, Homicide.

COP: Nobody's dead. RIGGS: Night's young.

This is Sergeant Murtaugh.

-Threat or scare? -The real thing.

This gentleman saw the device.

On Level 1 , near the gas pumps. I wrote the license plate down.

That's okay, sir. Thanks a lot.

-Have you evacuated the building? -lt's clean.

-Bomb squad? -On their way.

-lt's under control. Let's go. -Bomb squad?

Rog, I think we ought to check this out.

-Hey. Hey, hey, hey, Riggs. -What?

-Bomb squad's on their way. -There's no bomb.

-How can you be sure? -Because it's a full moon.

Moon, lunar, lunatics. They're everywhere.

-Hey, is that Greek? -No, no. Latin.

Latin. Man, you surprise the s*** out of me.

There's no bomb. It's probably a false alarm.

It happens. Probably saw a radio on the back seat.

Hey, hey. Let's not mess with this. Wait for the bomb squad.

You're right. You sit tight, I'll be right back.

-Hey, hey, hey, Riggs. -What's the matter with you?

-There's a bomb in that building. -There's not.

-There's a bomb! -There is not.

There's a bomb in that building! Know how come I know?

-How? -l got eight days to retirement.

And l will not make a stupid mistake.

There is no bomb.

I will bet vital parts of my anatomy to the fact. Now, look. Look.

Trust me. Okay? Trust me.

That's usually my first mistake.

-Hey, Riggs. RIGGS: Yo.

MURTAUGH: Hey, wait. l'm coming.

RIGGS: Hey, Rog? MURTAUGH: Yeah?

RIGGS: Your insurance paid up? MURTAUGH: Yeah, of course. Why?

RIGGS: There could be a bomb in here. MURTAUGH: Oh, God.


I hate it when I'm right.


-You ought to learn to trust your instincts. -Oh, God.

First impression can often be the right one.

Leak in his diff. About to drop his drive shaft. No wonder there's a bomb.

Just don't touch it.

Just looking.


What are you gonna do? Don't open the door. Don't open the door!

Son of a b***h, just look at it.

-Just look at it. -That's all I'm gonna do, is look.

Oh, my. There's more plastic than Cher.

I love this job. This is amateur night. Open the door. l can't hear you.

Open the door.

Don't do nothing.

Not that one! Mm-mm!

You son of a b***h.

Well, this is a pretty shonky job. I can dismantle it.

It looks like Beirut to me. Let's get the hell out of here.



Everybody's outside. Just me, you and this cat are dumb enough to be here.

Nearly a cat-tastrophe, huh? Heh.

-Relax, Rog. Relax. Right. -Don't do nothing.

We got nine minutes and seven seconds left.

-Know what we could do? -What?

-We could drive this out. -Fine, it's your turn to drive.

No keys. Tsk, tsk. l could hot-wire it.

Aah! Don't even say "hot-wire" around this stuff, man.

-You're right, you're right. -Why am l doing this? Why am I--?

Looks like we're gonna have to do it the old-fashioned way.

Riggs, what are you thinking? What are you thinking, Riggs? Riggs.

-l'm thinking we should cut the blue wire. -Wait!

-That's not what I think. -You think red?

No. No.

I'm thinking that it's eight minutes and 42 seconds.

We can go upstairs, wait for the bomb squad, have a cappuccino.

The bomb squad never gets here on time. It's eight minutes and 31 seconds.

-Rog, please. -Forget the cappuccino.

-You know what they're gonna say? -"Get the f*** out of here."

After that, they're gonna say, "Cut the blue wire," which l'm gonna do right now.

-Hey, hey. Wait, wait. Riggs. Wait. -What?

-How can you be so sure? -Oh, it's just a hunch.

-A hunch? -Remember the bomb under your toilet?

-Oh, s***. How could l forget? -Red wire, blue wire, same thing.

This is more simplified. A bit more powerful, but more simplified.

-From where l was sitting, l couldn't see. -Forget it. Come on, trust me.

Yeah, so I gotta trust you?

Guess not. Well, l'm cutting the red wire, okay?

Oh! Oh!

-What? What? -A minute ago you said blue.

-Did l say blue? -Riggs, you said blue.

-Well, l meant red. -You sure?

We can do it your way if you'd like.

-My way? l don't have--! -Quiet!

-l'm sure, okay? -S***.

RIGGS: You ready?

-Rog? -What?

Won't you kind of miss all this good stuff when you retire?

Aren't you gonna miss it a little bit? Huh?


I'm cutting the wire.

Snip. See? All done.


-Rog. -Yeah?

-Grab the cat. -Grab the cat?

RIGGS: Get back! Take cover!



POLlCEMAN 1 : Where are they?




Right. Oops.



Seven days to retirement, I'm busted down to patrolman.

I should've cut the red wire.

-You did. -No, I didn't. l cut the blue wire.

That's what l meant. We should've waited for the bomb squad.

Am l gonna have to listen to this?

-Every day until l retire. -That'll be a week too long.

Ah, s***.

-My feet are killing me. -They're killing me too.

-How? -l gotta listen to you b***h about them!

-Because you should've cut the red wire! -l did cut the red wire!

What's this? lt's kind of soft. It's not a bulletproof vest.

-lt's not gonna keep anything out. -Gonna keep my stomach in.

What do you got under there?

-lt's a girdle. -What?

Oh, God. lt's a girdle.

Trish know about this?

Not a woman's girdle, a man's girdle.

-They make girdles for men? -They make girdles for men.

-They do, huh? -Yeah, they do.

I haven't worn this uniform in 1 5 years. Cleaners must have shrunk it.

Well, you should take it to Chin.

I did take it to Chin over in Alpine. Look at it. It's shrunk all up in here.


-Have to hold my breath. -Did you see that?

-See what? -Jaywalker.


Hold it right there, pal. Step up here, please.

-Me? -Yes, you.

-What did l do? -Stand there.

What'd you do? Jaywalking. I saw you. l have to cite you.

Jaywalking? Oh, Jesus, come on.

Can you handle this or should l radio for backup?

-Got the ticket book? -People are committing crimes...

-...and you're hassling me? -Shut up!



-Do you know how to fill one of these out? -A long time ago. Let me see.

Can't read it. The print is little.

-Without my glasses. -You're no help.

Can we speed this up? You may have nothing to do. l have things to do.

No, we can't, so will you shut up?

-Jaywalking. -Ask for his license.

-License for jaywalking? -Yeah, jaywalking.

I don't have it on me, okay? I wasn't driving, okay?

I was walking. What, do l need a walking license now?

-Oh, let's just shoot him. -Oh, oh, oh, what is he crazy?

I'm gonna drill him. We can make it look like suicide.

-Get out of the way! -No, no, no. The video cameras.

I don't care! I'm gonna drill him!

Get out of here, before my partner kills you! Go that way, not that way!

This way! Over there!

-Go, run! Now! Run! MURTAUGH: Right there, yeah.


MAN: Hey. Hey!

Hey, wait a minute. You forgot to sign.

-Hey. -What's that?

MAN: Wait a minute. You forgot to sign the form.

Hey, who are you? You're not the regular guy.

COURlER: He's on vacation. MAN: On vacation?

Well, who the hell is that?

Get in the truck! Get!




You f***ing prick!


MURTAUGH: Riggs! Riggs! WOMAN: Are you all right?


-Hey, are you a cop? -Yeah.

Fourteen-sixty. Into pursuit. Will continue transmission.

MAN: Call 91 1 .

All right, honey. Let me drive. We're in pursuit.

I'm driving, baby! Don't worry.


This fool picked the wrong time to mess with the wrong lady.

All right. Just stay close.

Hey, hey, hey. Right behind you, baby. That's right. Take a good look.

Delores the Road Warrior is dead on your raggedy ass.

Ram him! Ram him!

-Watch out, Riggs. -Come on!


-Are you married, sugar? -What? Yeah, 24 years.

-Yeah, 24 years. -Yeah, but is it working?

-Hey, you can't get closer? -l am. l'm getting closer.

Hold on, Riggs! Hold on!

MURTAUGH: Hey, hey! -Hold on! Hold on! We got you.

Hold on!

-l told you l could do it. MURTAUGH: Closer!

RIGGS: Get me up there. -Yeah, get up close.

I am. l am, all right?

-Back off, back off! -Aah!



-lf he falls, don't hit him. -Don't worry. I got something for you.





Ooh, hoo-hoo! Thanks for the interest, sugar, but one thing at a time.



-Catch him, catch him. -All right.


Keep singing, baby. Just stay close.

Relax, baby. Relax, baby.

Ho! Ho! Ho! Hey, keep your hands off my thigh.

-My partner's in trouble. Watch out for him. -l got him!


-Boy, I'm getting too old for this s***. -Not for me, you're not, sugar.

You have the right to remain unconscious.

Anything you say ain't gonna be much.


MURTAUGH: Hey, Riggs. You all right? -Ha!

I'm okay. I think we gotta book this guy for not wearing his seat belt though.

Hey, that was dynamite driving.

-No, she's the dynamite driver. -l'll show you dynamite.

RIGGS: Whoo! -Sure enough. Whoo!

-What have you two been up to? -What do you mean? We were in pursuit.

-l saw you kiss her. -No, I didn't. She kissed me.

It looked mutual. Wipe that lipstick off before the guys at the station start talking.

Hey, go spit, Riggs.


You okay? You all right?

Back to bed. Back to bed.

-Morning, guys. Daddy. MURTAUGH: Hey.

Hey, how about treating your dad to breakfast today, okay?

-You got six more days to go. -Laundry service.

TRlSH: Hold this. Hangers?

I'm springing for the soap. Nothing too fancy. That's a cute dog.

-lt's a Westie. -Morning. Westie?

-Morning, Trish. TRlSH: Hey.

Morning, Rog.

-Hey, Nick. -Spare me.

-What? Didn't you brush your teeth? TRlSH: Hold it, mister.

I'm just looking for some orange juice.

Don't get fingerprints on the door, and put the glass in the dishwasher.

-Did somebody commit a murder? -Somebody's coming to see the house.

Oh. Hey, l think a little mess adds to the charm.


How's this, huh?

This great? Okay? Okay?


Kelly's Pool Hall. Kelly speaking.

Yeah, right, Kelly. Hi, let me speak to Dad.

Oh, hi, honey. How are you? I thought I asked you not to call me here.

-lt's for you, Rog. MURTAUGH: Me?


Uh, who are--? Who is it? Hello?

RIANNE: Hi. lt's my first day at work.

-Gonna come wish me luck? -Rianne?

LEO: Beautiful, huh?

-Come on, come on, check it out. WOMAN: Beautiful lawn.

It's great.

See how quiet it is here? Listen, listen.

That great? Come on.

-Very quiet. -The inside's better than the outside.

TRlSH: lt's the people to look at the house. -And our broker.

Okay, okay. Just wanna make sure.

I gotta show you this room first. This is my favorite. This is great.

-Okay? l love it. That it? That say it all? WOMAN: Oh, yeah.

-Beautiful. -Very nice.

Oh, l love that picture window.

Shh. Shh. Shh.

LEO: You do? It's been completely replaced. MAN: Oh, why was that?

A drug dealer came through with his car and crashed right in.

Shot up the whole place. Shh.

Son of a b***h. I'm gonna cut him off at the--

-Ha, ha! Leo. -Oh, ha. Drug dealer.

It's true. Hey, it's true. True.

Okay, anyway, look. Like the drapes? Maybe she'll leave the drapes.

MURTAUGH: Hey, I thought you quit, huh? -l did.

-You'll stink up the house. Don't smoke. -l'm edgy.

-You're edgy? Here. MAN: That stuff about the drug dealer....

Chew on these.

LEO: Listen, l have to tell you these things, okay?

It's the law. It's called full disclosure.

Anything else you wanna disclose before we go on?


Okay, now that you mention it, the bathroom has been completely remodeled...

...due to unexpected bomb damage.

Hey, hey, hey, come on. It's okay.

-Son of a b***h. I'm gonna-- TRlSH: Shh. Shh.

-Don't. You'll never sell-- TRlSH: Shh.

Okay, okay. So, uh, we saw enough of the kitchen.

Let me show you upstairs. Wait till you see this. lt's beautiful.

You're really gonna love this.

MURTAUGH: They're gone. Leo Getz, I guess I'm gonna kill him.

Son of a b***h. l'm gonna kill him! I'm gonna kill him!

RIGGS: Don't-- MURTAUGH: He's trying to ruin me, Riggs.

-Hey, Leo, you got-- -They weren't gonna buy the house!

-Yeah, you scared them away. -No, they couldn't afford the financing.

-Oh, Jesus. -Okay, relax.

I had to tell them everything. It's the law, okay? I mean, full disclosure.

-You must have heard of it. -l'm a cop. l'm the law.

-Ah! -Ow!

-Get off me! What is it with you? LEO: Hold it.

Okay, okay.

At least he didn't tell them about that nail-gun incident.

-Oh.... -l forgot.

Did you have a permit when you built over the garage?

-Permit? -You know what l'll do? Hold it.

Leo's here. l'll take care of it. I'll make a couple calls.

We'll get some back-dated permits.

-Which phone can I use? -Uh, sunroom. Sunroom.

-Okay, okay, okay. l got you. -Jesus Christ.

-lt's gotta be easier than this. LEO: They don't know Leo Getz.

You could do with less aggravation. Come to work with me.

Yeah. Thank you, Leo. Son of a b***h.

Stop fronting yourself. You know what l'm saying?

Swing with me and my crew. That's the move.


Forget school.

Oh, man. Here comes your pops, man.

-Later, man. -All right, I gotcha.

-All right, bro. I'm out, man. DARRYL: Next time, G. Peace, bro.

NElGHBOR: Morning, Rog. MURTAUGH: How you doing?

NICK: How you doing, Mr. Fisher? NElGHBOR: Hey, Nick.

Hey, Nick.

-Uh, wasn't that Darryl? -Yeah.

Haven't seen him around in a while.

-He dropped out of school. -Those are pretty gang colors he's wearing.

Yeah, l know.

Hey, Nick.

-Yeah, Dad. -Be good.


Hey, word, Nick.


-Word, Riggs. -Word, Rog.

-What are we talking about? -Word.

Starts with a W, "or" in the middle, D on the end.

-Word. Oh, yeah, that word. -Where you been?

-Word. -Word.

JACK: Hey, Tyrone, my man, how are you? TYRONE: Jack, how's it going?

-Let's take a walk. -Hey, wait here for me.

Look around. This is my dream and it's all coming true.

You sank your money into this, out here in the middle of the f***ing desert?

That's right. Know why it's gonna be a gold mine?

Do tell me.

Because nobody wants to live next door to people like you. You're a menace.

Jack, I came out here to do business, not be insulted by you.

Relax, Tyrone.

Just like houses, friendships need strong foundations.

Hey, Smitty, come here. Come here.

What's wrong with you? Don't l pay you good? Don't l take care of you?

Sure you do, Jack.

What's this stupid business you and Billy tried to pull?

-lt was a good plan. It worked. -lt worked? It didn't work.

You got nailed first time out.

Nobody who works for me goes into business for themselves.

Understand what l'm saying?

See how that can jeopardize everything? Right, Tyrone?

Heh, heh, whatever.

JACK: Especially trying to pop an armored car.

Okay, Billy got caught. There's nothing I can do about that now.

He's gonna have to face the music on his own.

But you and me, Smitty, we're gonna start over.

You know what l mean?

-Whatever you say, Jack. -Good.

Glad you understand what I'm talking about.


Now we got a relationship we can build on.

-Employee problems. You know how it is? -Yeah, right.

You invest time and energy into training somebody.

They get greedy and do something stupid that jeopardizes everything.

It's a b***h.

Stick around. This is the good part.

We can put our initials in there. Yeah?

TYRONE: Jesus Christ.


RIGGS: Lankershim and Vineland. Where are we going, Rog?

MURTAUGH: Uh, right here. Rianne's got a new job. l promised her I'd stop by.

RIGGS: That's a good reason.

MURTAUGH: All right. Here we are.

-You got any silver, any change? -We're cops.

That's right, we're cops. Not crooks. I'll get change.


MAN: Where are you going? Get down! Get down! All of you, get down!



Riggs! Riggs!


How do you like that, huh? What are you doing with a rubber gun?

-No! This is a film. There are not-- -What?

Cut, cut, cut! Who the f*** is this lunatic?

-Get him off my set. ACTOR: This isn't part of the story.

DIRECTOR: Can we get a cop? ACTOR: Where did you come from?

Jesus. Who are you?

Rianne, l'm so sorry. I feel like a microbe right now.

-You really thought l was in trouble? RIGGS: Oh, I did.

-You did? -A real cop. Go sit in your f***ing trailer.

What is wrong with you? Are you an idiot?

I apologize.

-He's a friend of mine, a policeman. -Yeah, we're both here to visit--

Oh, he's a friend of yours?

Let me tell you something, okay? You're fired. All right. Have a nice day.

Fired? Riggs, what did you do?

-You're not fired. Don't worry. -No, you're not. Take it easy, Riggs.

You can't fire her for something I did.

I don't care whose mistake it was. She's fired.

RIGGS: l apologize to everybody. -Don't push him.

-Don't push. -All of you, go!

Just take it easy. Don't push him. Don't push.

DIRECTOR: Get off my set, all right? What are you, deaf? Go.

Move. Get off my set.

On any normal day, I'd smack you in the mouth.

-ls that so? -Don't hit him.

It's a normal day.

I'm sorry. Listen, are you okay? I'm sorry.

God, I'm all thumbs. Look, he fell down. Let me help you up.

I said don't hit him, Riggs.

RIGGS: ls she fired? DIRECTOR: Yes, she's fired.

-ls she fired? -No.

RIGGS: She got a raise? -lt's all right.

-Yes. I said yes. Thank you. -Good.

-Rianne, l think you have a new friend here. -Yeah.

We'd like you to come back.


All right.

You can't settle every problem with your fists.

-l couldn't use my gun. There was a crowd. -Okay, six more days.

Look, l don't wanna hear that anymore.

Hey, did Rianne get her job back? Did she get a raise? Did she?

I don't hear a "thank you."

Maybe I should, uh, become one of those Hollywood agents. What do you think?

-Hmm. Won't work. -Why?

-You gotta have killer instinct. -Heh. Son of a b***h.

-We should've put the bag on the meter. -Put it in the glove compartment.

-No, no. I don't do that anymore. -Oh, yeah? Good man.

No, it's full up already. Put it in the back seat.

-You really like those things, huh? -What, these? Yeah, it's good.

Hey, you know, you can eat a box of them. I'm still dying for a cigarette.


-What, you cut yourself shaving? -Yeah.

-Old razor? -Old face.

I think you're really letting this retirement thing get you down, Rog.

Why don't you spend a couple more years, think it over. Why quit?

-l got plans for my retirement. -Yeah, plans.

-l do. Big plans. -Sure. Big plans?

-l had them for a long time. -Like what?

Like, uh....

-Uh, hey, things, man. Okay, yeah, huh? -Things. Things.

Yeah, yeah. Things I've put off too long.

-Those things. l got those things too. -Yeah, Riggs. Right.

I can see you've given this a lot of thought, Rog, actually.


I've given it a lot of thought, Riggs.




Goddamn it!

What the hell's going on?

RIGGS: I'm p***ed off! You need a reason?

COP: I thought I heard gunfire.

RIGGS: Get your hearing checked. Put that away.

-What are you looking at? -Hey, man. Peace.

COP 1 : Riggs, why'd you call us down here? -Everybody, it's all right.

RIGGS: Hey, how you doing, son? Your mother know you're here?


Hey, did you do this?

COP 2: Nice shooting, phew. -Regular Billy the Kid, huh?


Diaper rash makes you cranky, huh?

Give that to your mom. Maybe she'll stick it on the refrigerator.

-Hey, can l borrow your glasses? -Yeah.

Okay, who's wearing? Roger, you're wearing. I need you.

-Why me? You guys should be wearing. -Mr. Murtaugh, let me assist you.

I've been dressing myself since I was 30.

-Okay, man, just trying to help. -Just get back.

-All you perverts, turn your heads. COP 2: Take it off.

MURTAUGH: Hold this shirt.

COP 2: Woo-hoo.

COP 3: Wearing a girdle, man.

-He's got a girdle! -This is not a girdle.

This is not a girdle. It's my back. My back went out on me.

-He hurt his back. -Hurt my back this morning lifting weights.

What you talking about? I hurt my back lifting weights.

Yeah, l saw him do it. Okay, everybody, listen up.

I want you all to have a look at these lovely bullets.

COP 3: These are cute. -Notice the smooth jacket.

Pay particular attention to the tip. Good close look at it.

Now, you've all seen these vests stop a .357 magnum bullet, haven't you?

ALL: Yeah. COP 2: So what?



RIGGS: Son of a b***h.


-Armor-piercing bullets? Jesus. -Yeah, cop killers.

COP 2: S***. COP 3: Serious s***.

Those bullets came from the gun of a suspect we arrested yesterday.

COP 4: Armored-car guy? -Yeah. They're out on the streets.

Vests are optional, boys and girls. Especially boys.

COP 4: Holy f***. COP 2: See you, Riggs.

COP 5: Well, let's just keep our eyes open.

MURTAUGH: Cop killers.

Son of a b***h.

I, uh, think we should talk to Billy Phelps.

I'll have him brought down for interrogation, okay?



I'm here to talk to a prisoner, sergeant, Billy Phelps.

-Can l see all your ID there? -Sure.

William Phelps, armored-car suspect. He's been moved to interrogation.

-Know where that is? -Sure. Been there a lot.


Same floor.

-Hey, Rog. -Hm?

I guess now you're retiring...

...that, uh, Swiss bank account is gonna come in pretty handy.


How much you got in there, a million? Million and a half?

-Five. -Five.

Well, you deserve it, man.

It's better than those miserable drug dealers getting it.

What are you talking about?

Hey, don't sweat it. You laundered it, didn't you? They can't trace it.

-They can't trace it. -Well, now, heh--

Look, so long as l get an invite to the Casa de Murtaugh, I'm happy.

Casa what?

-l've never been to Portugal. -Stop joking.

-She's a cop, man. -l know she's a cop.

She's probably on the take too. What do you take me for?

Come on. The whole force is bent.

Look, she may be wearing a skirt, but we're all brothers.

I don't have nothing there.

-l ain't been to Portugal. -Beautiful.

This Murtaugh-- This--

LORNA: Son of a b***h.

COP: Hey, how you doing?

-Fine. COP: Who is it today?

-Billy-- -Billy Phelps.


-Who are you? -Fly me.

I'm your friendly Portuguese airline.

-She's lnfernal Affairs, Rog. LORNA: How'd you know?

Well, l took the liberty of looking at your file folder. It was showing.

Lorna Cole.

-And you're Sergeant Murtaugh. -l used to be.

Yeah, what's lnfernal Repairs want with our collar?

-We're taking over, thanks. -Nobody told us they were taking over.

-Nobody has to tell you anything. -l wanna go and see the captain.

You wanna go see the captain?

-Let's go see the captain. -All right.

-And, uh, put on a vest. -Oh, are you wearing one?

-Hey, hey, hey. Just take it easy, man. RIGGS: Okay.



Hey, guys. Phelps, William. Actually, his name's Billy.

-Phelps? You too? -Hi.

-Popular guy today. -Somebody with him?

No, not really. He's down the hall to the right.

-Wanna sign in here, sarge? -Sure.

-Miss. -Thank you.

-What's Internal Affairs doing here? -Don't start. I just found out myself.

This is Herman Walters, chief of intelligence.

You haven't met his daughter, Lorna Doone.

-Cole. -Pleased to meet you.

The Phelps case has been transferred to Internal Affairs.

-Why? Tell me why. -l can't tell you.

-That's classified. -Classi--?

-We busted our buns busting this guy. -Busted is right.

He spent the night in hospital.

-He forgot to buckle. -We cited him for it.

-l know. l read your report. -Yeah.

You know, our cases have unfortunately crossed paths here.

That's all l can say. We'll take over from here.

Captain, what's she talking about?

WALTERS: That's classified. -l said, "Captain." l'm talking to him.

I'm telling you--

I said, "Captain." I'm talking to the captain.

WALTERS: That's classified. MURTAUGH: I'm talking to him.

RIGGS: Bulls***! -Murtaugh. Hey, hey. Riggs!


MURPHY: Look, maybe these guys can contribute something to this case.

From their records, the only thing they contribute is mayhem and chaos.

I'm Chaos and he's Mayhem. We're a double act.

-Are we required reading or something? -As a matter of fact, you are.

It's a cross between Police Gazette and Mad magazine.

-What's wrong with Mad? LORNA: Nothing, l used to read it.

-Oh, yeah, you've got some good taste. -When l was 1 2.

-When you-- Yeah. -Hey, hey. Riggs, let's go.

We busted him, we can talk to him. Let's go.

-Captain. MUPRHY: Riggs. Murtaugh.

Get your asses back here.

You'll be needing these.

I'm reinstating both of you.

-Don't you just love him? -Yeah.

MURTAUGH: God. RIGGS: No. You're Murtaugh and l'm Riggs.

You really are a beautiful man.

Yeah, right. Just get rid of the blues.

-They don't go with the ponytail. -Absolutely not.

-Yeah, right. -And get a haircut.

-Of course l won't. -You just exceeded your authority, captain.

-That's not the way l see it. -The chief will.

-Well, take it up with him. WALTERS: l think l will.

We don't want this screwed up.

You're gonna have to get him between lunches. Son of a b***h.

Hi, Billy.

-Jack. -Bye, Billy.


See you, Billy.

COP: Sergeant, did you get what you need?

Not really. lt's a dead issue, l'm afraid.

RIGGS: How long has Phelps been doing this?

LORNA: Doing what? -His armored-car thing.

LORNA: I wouldn't know. I'm not interested in armored cars.


I don't think she's telling us everything.

Yeah, l think you're right.

Boy, these six days is gonna be rough.

God, be good to me, please.

S***, son of a b***h knew there was a camera in the wall.

Look how he's covering up.

-Damn it. LORNA: Didn't know there was one... the interrogation room.

-There isn't. -Yeah.

Installed them six months ago.

-Every station. MURPHY: That's great.

Six months, and we don't know about it?

This is the police police, captain.

"Police police." Can you say that three times in a row, real fast?

-Am I getting to you? LORNA: You trying to bait me?

-l'm a master of it. -Well, that figures.

Hey, heh, baiting master. Great. I'll try that on Trish.

Freeze that. Stop it. Jack Travis.

BOTH: Who? -Lieutenant Jack Edward Travis.

He was one of us.

Hell of a brutal cop. Could beat a confession out of anyone.

One hell of a dirty cop.

Never seen so many suspensions and reprimands and charges of misconduct.

Well, he's also as tough as they come.

-What happened to him? -l don't know.

His partner and him were on a stakeout. He went for coffee, never came back.

Looks like he's had one cappuccino too many.

We better brief Walters.

Excuse me, cute stuff.

-That's harassment. -"Cute stuff." That's you.

-Captain. -Boys, boys. Just the captain.

Your involvement in this case ended when Billy Phelps hit the floor.

Why don't you go back and beat your street?

Really good work.

LEO: Now's the time to buy. MURPHY: Leo, Not now.

-Hey, Roger, Roger. MURTAUGH: Not now, Leo.

-No, no. Not now. -We gotta talk, babe, okay?

You're in trouble. You got termites.

-Termites? -Uh-huh.

-Oh, God. -You're infested.

The only thing holding up your house is the paint.

Rog, I think we should go. Leo, could you get the place fumigated?

We should go to Evidence, pull every file on this guy.

I know this guy. What are you watching, Geraldo?

-What? -l know the guy.

-How do you know him? -l've seen the guy before.

-Hey, where? -l don't know. I recognize him--

His name's Jack Travis, Leo. Does that ring a bell? Jack Travis.

Hey, hey, hey. Hands off the clothes. Okay, baby?

-Okay, I'm thinking. Let me think. Okay. -Think.

-A big party. MURTAUGH: Okay.

Somebody brought a monkey because the monkey knocked over the salad bar.

And this guy comes in, introduced me to another guy...

...who wants a favor.

-l got it. l got it. l got it! -What?

He got it.

-l remember! I remember! -You remember!

Hey, don't do it. Don't let the earring fool you.

-Hey, we're back. We're back. -Yeah. Yeah.

-All right. Listen. -Yeah.

Think l could get a gun this time?


Okay, this is it. See, these guys always wanted me to do favors for them.

Like, some guys wanted broads, another guy wanted Cuban cigars.

Your guy, hockey. The best seats in the house.

-Where's the seats? -Yeah.

Uh, probably by the glass. Around the glass.

Does "needle in a haystack" mean anything to you?

Why don't we spread out?

You know, if we all take a different direction, it'd be like old times.

Don't push, lady. I'm on police business here.

Just take it easy, now.


MAN: Go! All right!


ANNOUNCER [OVER PA]: Los Angeles penalty. Number 1 5, Tony Brown.

Two minutes for high-sticking.

Time, 5:1 5.


Los Angeles, shorthanded goal.

Nineteenth goal and 41 st point for number 3, Max Weinberger.

RIGGS [OVER PA]: Mr. Jack Travis.

Mr. Jack Travis, this is the L.A.P.D.

We know you're in here. We know where you are. Just stay in your seat.

Don't be stupid.

And l'll be there to escort you out in a minute.

There's policemen at every exit, so it's no use trying to run.

-Stay where you are. -Smart son of a b***h.

Thank you for your cooperation. Play on, boys.

Come on, let's go!

Get out of my f***ing way!

Ooh! Ooh! Riggs! Riggs! Roger! Roger!

Ooh! Excuse me. Excuse me.

MAN: Hey! -Riggs!


REFEREE: You can't be on the ice.


Ooh! Ooh!

I got him. I got him.

You have the right to remain-- You're under arrest.


JACK: F***ing weasel. REFEREE: What the hell's going on here?

I'm L.A.P.D. L.A.P.D.

REFEREE: I don't care. You can't be on the ice.

What is this, a convention?


-l got him. -You're all right, pal. Just stay calm.

LEO: Tell my mother, Rog.

-Where did he go? -Down there. Down there.

Son of a b***h.

He thinks I don't know l'm dying. I know it.

-No. You'll be okay. -Yeah, yeah. l'm dying, Roger.

-You'll be okay. -l'm choking, see?

This is what they do when they die. I saw them.

-Leo, it's gonna be okay. -Yeah, well, I'm-- I'm numb.

My whole body's numb. l can't feel it.

-Leo, Leo. -l'm gonna die, l know it. What?

You're lying on the ice.

-That's why l'm cold? -That's why you're cold.

-That's why l'm numb, huh? -That's why you're numb.

He shot me. Look at all the blood.

-lt's just a flesh wound. LEO: So it's okay.

REFEREE: Let's get you up. One, two, three. MURTAUGH: Yeah.

There you go. You're gonna make it.

He's okay, he's okay. He's gonna make it. He's alive.

Ooh! Ow, ow!


-Bring him this way, guys. -l can't believe this. l just--

-l can't believe l got shot. -You'll be all right.

-Riggs, you here? -Calm down.

We're all the same now. We all got shot.

DOCTOR: You'll be fine. -Ouch. That's--

-Relax, Mr. Getz. -l'm fine. Nothing wrong with me.

I can take this. Ouch!

DOCTOR: We're gonna take care of it. You'll be out of here. No big deal.

I don't think that's a good idea. You shouldn't rush this.

-Yeah. RIGGS: You should rest up, Leo.

A dumdum wound can be serious.

What's a dumdum wound?

You don't know? A guy got his thumb shot off by a dumdum.

From the shock, he was dead two days later.

Dead two days later?

He died from dumdums?

DOCTOR: We'll keep you overnight. -Yeah, take it slow.

Two days? All right, we'll keep him two days.

-You'll be here two days. -That Leo's chart?

DOCTOR: Two days, you'll be good as new. LEO: I should be with them.

-Bye, Leo. -l should be with-- Hey! Ow! Ouch!

-How do you spell, "proctological"? MURTAUGH: Rectal exam?

-No, you can't do that to Leo. -Sure we can.

-Why's she taking--? -Please, Mr. Getz. You'll get--

You've been shot in the arm. Let her take it. You'll get it back.

-Okay. DOCTOR: There's a clock in your room.

LEO: Okay, fine. Riggs. -Yeah?

This look like a dumdum wound?

-lt sounded like one when it happened. LEO: S***.

-Take it easy. Two days. DOCTOR: Two days and you'll be out.

-All right. DOCTOR: Okay?

-Hey, l'll see you guys. RIGGS: We won't make a move without you.

I thought that bullet sounded different.

-Relax. They'll be there when you get out. LEO: I'm fine.

-You own your own house, doc? -What?

-You don't recognize my face? DOCTOR: No, sir.


RIGGS: About time. These doggy treats are okay, but l need some human food.

MURTAUGH: Don't worry.

I'm about to make you one of the best things you ever had in your life.

-Hey, you ever eat one of my hamburgers? -l've been lucky so far. l'll take a chance.

MURTAUGH: Yeah. Hey, Fast Eddie.

-How's business? EDDlE: Booming. Can't you tell?

I'm looking at it.

-You meet my partner? -No.

I wanna cook one of those monster burgers for him.

-Go for it. -All right.

-Gonna let him cook? EDDlE: Do I have a choice?

MURTAUGH: No, because it's Wednesday. RIGGS: Too big to argue with.

In that case, give me a McRog.

-Hold the hair. -Heh, heh.

You wash your hands?

Keep joking, but l guarantee you're gonna like this burger.

And you're gonna come back with your friends.

I haven't got any friends, you know that, Rog. Well, except you.

MURTAUGH: He's a comedian in his spare time.

Oh, yeah? When is he gonna say something funny?

Hey, uh, you gonna put that out? You're finished with it, yeah?

Do you mind, huh? Thanks.

Sorry. l was just looking at it.

MURTAUGH: Chew on this onion. -Yeah.

-Yeah. He's quitting, so help him, okay? -l quit.

I was only looking at it.

MURTAUGH: Ah. First thing is the fat.

Everybody says, "Cut the fat."

My uncle said, "You cut the fat, you kill the burger."

EDDlE: Yep. MURTAUGH: There's an art to this.

You just can't plop this on the grill.


MURTAUGH: Gently coax the flavors out.

MAN: Yo, hey. -What's the problem?

A little pepper, then you massage it a little bit.

Just a little bit. Sweet, sweet meat.

S***, man, feel it.

Okay, guys. L.A.P.D. Let me see your hands.

Come on, let me see your hands. Get them up!

In the car. Get them up there. Let me see both of them. Come on!

Hey, Riggs.


God, don't you love me? Five days.


Don't do that s*** to me.

-Riggs, you okay? RIGGS: Yeah.

Come on. Who did it?

All right, a**hole. I wanna see your hands right now.

Back me up, Riggs!


Oh, f***, no. Darryl!

Call an ambulance. Riggs, call an ambulance. Breathe.


Call an ambulance, Riggs.

Hey, come on. Breathe. Oh, God.

F***, it's Darryl.

Darryl, breathe.

God, don't do this to me. Breathe.

-He's dead, Rog. -F***ing breathe!

-Breathe! God, don't do this. -He's dead, Rog.

He's dead, Rog. Rog, he's dead.

He's dead, Rog. Don't mess with it, man.

He's dead. Come on, man, it was a clean shoot.

It's okay, it was a clean shoot.

He was gonna do you, he was gonna do me.

It's okay. You okay?

It's not okay.

-What? -l know that kid.

I know that kid.

He's Nick's friend.



NICK: Got it, Mom. TRlSH: l'll get it.

Hello? Hi, Martin.

He's not here.

Oh, my God.


F***. F***.



RIGGS: How you doing? Taking your vitamins?

-Riggs, how's Murtaugh? -He's good. He's fine.

MAN: Morning, captain.

-l'm sure he's anything but fine. -Really, he's okay.

-l'd really like to talk to him. -l don't think that's a good idea.

I think the best thing you could do is leave him alone.

-Let's, uh, get something for your cold. -l know what l'm talking about, Riggs.

-You and l have to talk. -Talking to you is bad for my image.

-l'm afraid l insist. -Oh, you insist?

Well, in that case, let's find somewhere private.

Here, step into my orifice.



Hey, Becker, how's it hanging?

BECKER: Hey, Riggs. RIGGS: Yeah.

BECKER: Clip any wrong wires lately? -No, I haven't done that for a couple days.

-Next time, wait for the bomb squad. -Bomb squad.

Yeah, it's our job.

Okay, l'll remember that. We saved a cat. What do you want?

-Great. l love cats. -Hey.

Go ahead, talk. l'm listening.

You purposefully withheld information concerning a case under my investigation.

-Yeah, damn right l did. -Careful, she's Internal Affairs.

You had a tip on Travis, you should have shared it with me.

No, I take that back.

You were required to share it with me.

-l was required to share it with you? -Yeah.

I don't have to share s*** with you.

Schoolyard rules: If you don't scratch my back, l don't throw you--

-Oh, come on, Riggs. l can't do that. -Yes, you can.

Why don't you cut out this classified bulls***?

Right now. It's giving me the s***s!

We're cops. You're a cop, l'm a cop. We're on the same side.

-Right? Right? -Right!

Right? Good. Why don't we start to act like it, huh?

Come on, there's kids out there. Babies.

No brains, but they got automatic weapons.

-Yesterday, my partner, he nailed this kid-- -l know about Murtaugh.

-Yeah? -Yeah. And l'm sorry, Riggs.



Look, uh....

Look, why don't you let me in on this? I can help you.

I really wanna help you, if you'll let me. Let me.

Come on, what do you say? We got a deal?

Wash your hands, Riggs.

And, um, meet me in my office.

Yeah, yeah. Okay. l'll be right there.

Be right there.

MAC-1 0, 9 mm, semi-automatic...

-...converted to automatic-- -With 36 rounds in the magazine.

On a sesame-seed bun. Very illegal.

-That gun has a history. Wanna know it? -Tell me.



Killed a convenience-store clerk in L.A. County, July 1 990.

Was used in a drive-by shooting in San Bernardino County, August 1 990.

Confiscated by a truant officer of the L.A. School Board, October 1 990.

Scheduled for destruction by the L.A.P.D. six weeks ago.

-Scheduled for destruction? -Yeah.

But it never got there.

Instead, it found its way into the hands of a 1 5-year-old boy...

...who fired on a police officer, your partner.

-Thought it looked familiar. -That gun and 1 5,000 others like it...

...were stolen from a police storage facility before they could be destroyed.

They should be paper clips right now or license plates.

Anything but a gun. Here we are, busting our asses on the streets... get these weapons out of circulation and now they're headed right back out.

When you busted Phelps, you stumbled onto something...

...the department's trying to keep a lid on.

That's why Internal Affairs is on this. They think it's an inside job.

Yeah, that's right. They knew police procedures.

They knew where the guns were and how to get in.

They knew the sorting codes on the containers...

...because they took the automatics and left the junk behind.

-lt all pointed to a cop. -Or an ex-cop.

-Right. Travis. -Travis.


And you let him slip through your fingers.

-That's closer than you ever got. -Close, Riggs?

Close is a lingerie shop without a front window.

-You wanna go for a ride? -Sure, where we going?


Oh, l love surprises.

RIGGS: What is this place?

LORNA: I accessed Billy Phelps' phone records on my computer.

He made a dozen calls to this address.

RIGGS: Yeah? Nice of you to steal that information.

LORNA: Semantics, Riggs.

RIGGS: Semantics? I'm always up for some antics.

-All right, let's go on three. One-- -Uh, on three, or three and then go?

-What? -Never mind. One, two, three.

LORNA: Gotcha.


Looks like Billy's grandmother owns a big dog.

That isn't a dog. That's a horse.

I hate dogs, Riggs.

-l don't get it. -You don't get what?

That's a dog. It's a f***ing dog.

No, I don't get, "Close is a lingerie shop without a front window." l don't get that.

Riggs, later.


-What are you doing? -Well, l can't shoot a dog.

People, okay, but not dogs.

I think I should try and make friends with him.

-Make friends? -Yeah.

Now, don't run, because he'll only chase you down and kill you.

LORNA: Uh-huh.

Here, boy. Here, boy.



-Here. Good boy. Yes. -S***.




You're crazy.



Want one? Want one? You hungry? Huh?

You're a hungry boy.

Doesn't anybody feed you? Come on.

What a good fella.

Here. Here's more. Leave some for me.

Very slowly, as if you're not here, just walk away.

-You want me to go? -Yeah. This is a guy sort of thing.

LORNA: Guy sort of thing? RIGGS: Are you all alone in here?

Stay, stay.


HATCHETT: Come on, let's go.

-Let's go. Let's go. MAN 1 : Watch.

On two.

-All right, how many is that? MAN 2: Fifty-five.

Fifty-five. All right, we got eight more.

All right, we'll get these later. Let's go.

Hi, fellas. What's in all these boxes?


Easy, let's not kill him yet. Let's see who he is first, all right?


You have the right to remain silent.

Shut him up.

Sergeant Martin Riggs, heh.

-Hubie, get the truck ready. -Right.

So, Sergeant Riggs... did you find us?

Freeze. Police!

Oh, another one?

We need a new f***ing dog.

Get your hands up, a**hole.

Get them up.


A little bit higher. That's better.

Very good.


Drop it, miss.

Now, look--






RIGGS: Okay, l'm on. No, l'm not. I'm off! Wait!

Wait. Wait, wait, wait!

-Sergeant Cole. -Get down! Get down!

Get those cases and kill that dog.



Stop! The dog. Wait for the dog.

-Where'd you learn to fight? -Catholic school. Forget the dog.

Here, boy. Come on. We're waiting for the dog. Just hold it, hold it.

Hurry. Come on, dog. Good dog. Good puppy. Go! Go!



LORNA: What? What? -Guns.

-Full of guns. LORNA: Grab one.

-You grab one. -You got friends?

RIGGS: Step on it!

Get that crate. Come on.


TYRONE: Hatchett, you said not to worry about the police...

...but the cops are all over you, man.

They got my guns. They'll be coming after me next.

Far as l'm concerned, the deal's off.

Get a grip on yourself, Tyrone, all right? We have a deal.

Nobody backs out.

You said you had the cops under control.

I see that isn't so. Give me one reason why l should do business with you.

-l'll give you a real good reason. -Hey, Tyrone, this is Travis.

You back out now, and I'll make certain that only your dentist can identify the body.

Is that a good enough reason for you?

But l need ammo.

I'm out of business without ammo.

-l need the good stuff. -You'll get the ammo. The good stuff.

"The good stuff." Jesus. Pfft!

Time to pay another visit to the L.A.P.D.


You look like l feel.



Hey. Hey.

You got anything l can put on my head?

There's a hat in the closet.

You're all heart. Here l thought you were gonna get all tender and maternal with me.

Listen, Riggs, I was raised with four brothers.

We got hurt all the time...

...but if no bones were broken or blood wasn't gushing, nobody cared.

-Hey, look, blood. See? Blood. -lt's not gushing.

Well, it was free-flowing earlier.

Could you bring me a needle and thread?

You know, maybe some peroxide. I can patch it up myself.

-Don't touch anything. -l wasn't. l didn't--

What's with you, anyway?


-The boys. -Hey, what are you doing, huh?

-l told you not to touch anything. -Uh, this came on by itself.

-Came on all by itself? You a wise guy? -l swear.

You don't like to share your toys?

-This isn't a toy, Riggs. -What is it?

-This is a weapon. Yeah. -A weapon?

Used properly, a very effective weapon.

What, do you throw it at people? Pretty heavy.

You're gonna give yourself a hernia. Come here. Sit down.

Right here.

-Okay, take a little off the top. -Right here.


-You bring all your interrogations home? -Okay.

-What are we talking about? -Well, it's back here.

Careful. Careful.

-Careful. Oh. -This?

-This scratch? -Come on, it feels like Grand Canyon.

-Oh, God. -Ah!

-Hold still. -Yeah.

-Ah! -Oh, God. We haven't even started.

Be gentle with me.

I see this isn't virgin territory. What is this? A knife?

Huh? Oh, that's an ax. Some guy mistook my head for a log.

-That's a natural mistake. -What, I have a wooden head?

-Look at that. -lt's a knife.

-Knife? That's very knife. -Mm-hm.

This is all right.

Oh, that's pavement, dragged down Crenshaw. Mm-hm.

Hey, that's great. Look at that texture. Look at this, huh?

Same damn thing. Third and Highland.

-Dragged for about half a block. -That's a good one.

Feel that texture. Feel it. Cheese-grater time.

-Moving truck. -Moving truck? Ooh!

-Moving bullet. -Moving bullet?

-Here. This is the best. -Bullets now.

-lt goes all the way to the back. -Oh, hey. Right through?

You're lucky. What is it, .22?

-lt's a .38, Riggs. -That's a .38?

-lt's a .38. -That's a wimpy .38. This is a .38.

-Yours is bigger than mine? Don't think so. -l think so.

Maybe not, but look. Watch.

A whole family of .44s on the back.

-Look, there they are. -lmpressive.

One got stuck in my lung. I was breathing blood bubbles. Disgusting.

Blood bubbles. Okay.

-You got one? -Mm.

Pump-action. 1 2-gauge.

-Oh, yeah. -Mm-hm.

-Yeah. Right down here. Went through. -Oh.

-That must've hurt. -Right.

-Not too close. -Pfft!

Riggs, if he were that close, l'd be dead.

I can beat it. I can beat it. Have a look at this.

-l'll take your word for it. -You gotta see this.

-l'll take your word. -This guy had a knife. You'll love it.

He stuck it in my leg and ran it around eight times.

-Hurt like a son of a b***h. -l'll take your word for it.

No, I said forget it.

-This is a blue-ribbon event. -Forget it, Riggs.

Hey, you started this.

-Yeah, well, I can end it. -You know what?

You're a very poor loser.

I didn't lose, Riggs.

-Yes, you did. -No. No, I didn't lose.

-You lost. -l conceded.

There's a difference between losing and conceding.

You conceded or you're conceited?

-You think l'm conceited? -Oh, yeah.

Tell me you lost. Admit to it.

I'll get a Band-Aid.

-Tell me you lost. -l said, don't touch anything.

You're gonna smack the s*** out of me, right?

I can do better than that, Riggs.



This could be a serious ethical breach here.

I never made it with another sergeant before.

Shut up, Riggs.




Oh, damn, Riggs.

-What do you want, Riggs? -Just wanted to see how you were doing.

Who sent you? Trish?

Well, uh, you're doing pretty well. Trish didn't send me.

Rianne came to see me. She asked me to find you.

-Your place? -Well, that's where l am.

-My daughter came to your trailer? -Yeah.

-My daughter came to your trailer? -What the hell?

Come on, Roger, she was worried.

Get off of my boat, Riggs.

-Oh, come on. -Get off my boat.

Look, you're drunk, Rog.

That's something you should know about, huh?

-This isn't gonna do any good. -Give me that.

-No. -Give me that.

Rog, please don't do this, okay?

You got three days until you retire. This is not gonna do you any good.

-You self-righteous bastard. Give it. -Roger!

-Look, don't do this, okay? Please. -Give it to me, damn it, Riggs!

No! Oh, Jesus Christ. What are you gonna do now, shoot me?

-Uh-huh. -There.

Take your finger out of my bottle and give me that gun.

The bottle's going south.


Son of a b***h.


RIGGS: Oh, s***.

-Not bad for an old man. -You finished?

I got another bottle in the galley. I'm gonna get it.

No, you're not. Rog, don't do this to yourself, all right?

You gotta cut this out.

Oh, man, I'm sorry. Are you okay? Are you okay?

All right. Sit down. Sit down. You okay?


-You hit me. -Cool it, will you?

Cut it out. Just give it up, okay?

Go ahead.

Go ahead. Hit me again.

I don't wanna hit you. You think I like this s***?

Hit me again, huh? You think I'm afraid of you?

-l know you're not. Rog, no! -Of that kung fu s***?

Please, Rog.

Look, that kid was a killer, all right.

That wasn't a toy in his hand.

That was a machine pistol with twin carbines and all the trimmings.

He would have drilled you, me, anybody that came along, all right?

You had no choice.

It didn't happen to you. It happened to me.

It happened to me!

My God, l killed that kid.

I killed that boy.

Oh, yeah. You kill a lot of people.

You kill a f***ing lot of people! You ever kill a baby?

You got ice in your veins. You ever kill a boy like Nick?

You selfish bastard! You selfish bastard!

You're just thinking about yourself! Goddamn it.

What about me, huh?

We're partners. We are partners.

What happens to you, happens to me.

After all the s*** we've been through, don't you get it?

Don't you get it?

When you retire, you're not just retiring you, you're retiring us.

-You're retiring us. -No. That's not my problem.

-Yes, it is. -lt's not my problem.

You're the only family l've got.

I got three beautiful kids. I love them and they're yours.

Trish does my laundry. I live in your icebox. I live in your life.

What am I gonna do? What am I supposed to do?

-l don't care. -Yes, you do.

-l don't care! l don't care! -Yes, you do!

-l don't care! -You do so care!

I don't care!

I don't care. I don't care.

I don't know what l'm saying anymore. I don't know what l'm thinking.

I had three days, and now this.

I'm sorry.

-That's all right. -No, no, I'm sorry.

I didn't realize...

...that my retirement's gonna screw you up.

Forget it. I haven't got any problems. I was out of line saying that s***.

Look, man....

Um, Riggs, look....

Hey. You know l love you.

You know I love you, Riggs. And your problems are my problems, all right?

Like you said, what happens to you...

...happens to me. So try me.

I'm here for you.

I haven't got any problems, Rog.

Oh, yes, you do. We all have problems. You help me...

...and l'm gonna help you.

I do have a little problem.


Oh, no, s***. You don't wanna hear. This is piddly s***.

Riggs, yes, I do. l wanna hear it.

-Tell me. -Know what? This is ridiculous.

-You don't wanna hear it. -No, no. I'm here. l'm here.


I think maybe l slept with someone that I probably shouldn't have.

You son of a b***h!

RIGGS: Help me, man.

MURTAUGH: I ought to let you drown, you traitor.

RIGGS: Help me. Help me.

-Come on in. MURTAUGH: Aah!

-What did you hit me for? You hit me. -You slept with Rianne.

-l did not. -You did.

-Who did you sleep with? -l slept with Sergeant Cole.

Sergeant Cole from Traffic?

No, not Sergeant Cole from Traffic.

-Lorna. -Lorna.

Sergeant Cole from Traffic's her uncle.

-Oh, okay. That's okay. That's okay. -Oh, I don't know.

She was all like--

MAN: Sheriff's Department.

-Sheriff, we're L.A.P.D. -L.A.P.D.

MAN: Yeah? What are you boys doing down there?

-We're in the middle of a case. -Yeah.

Of Scotch.


MAN: Let's get out of here.

Go with the grain.


I'll show you. Here.

You're going against the grain.

-Like that. -Okay.

You okay?

Darryl was my friend, Dad.

I know. I'm sorry, son.

I hope you don't blame me.

I don't blame you, Dad.

I blame Darryl.

-What's this right here? -Huh?

-Right there. -What?


I love you, Dad.

I love you, son.

PRlEST: Grant them both pardon and everlasting rest.

Let them escape the judgment of vengeance and enjoy the blessedness of eternal life.

Oh, Lord, we commend the soul of Darryl Smithers to your safety.

May he find the peace in heaven that eluded him on Earth.

And may the scourge of violence...

...claiming the lives of our children be lifted by your grace...

...and infinite wisdom.

-Amen. ALL: Amen.

WOMAN: Amen.


Nice service.

Wait here.

MURTAUGH: Mrs. Smithers. Ma'am?


I just don't know--

You want to do something, Sergeant Murtaugh?

You find the man that put the gun in my son's hand.

Take your mama to the car.


You okay?


Who's got the gun?

-We got it. -Yeah.


Where did this gun come from, motherf***er?

F*** you.

Ever heard of the word "genocide," huh? You stupid motherf***ers?

You ever heard of genocide?

You fools are killing yourself! Killing us!

I'm tired of it. I'm tired of it. Motherf***er.

You better tell me where this gun's from or l'll blow your head off.

I wanna know now. Where did this gun come from?

You see this gun? I wanna know where it came from, Tyrone. l wanna know now.

RIGGS: Hiya, Hubie.

We're looking for a friend of yours, Travis.

I never heard of him.

Never heard--? Ehh! Ehh! Wrong answer. Wrong answer.

-And you're pulling on the wrong string. -That's not a very professional attitude.

-Who the f*** are you guys? RIGGS: Sorry. L.A.P.D.

We're just doing a few routine inquiries. You been checked for lice recently?

Hey, hey. Give me my f***ing wallet.

MURTAUGH: Keep your hands down. HUBERT: Give my f***ing wallet back!

Get up. We don't need this.


We have a license that belongs to one Hubert Bartholomew Smith.

-ls that you? -Bartholomew.

HUBERT: F*** you. RIGGS: There's a lady here. Do you mind?

HUBERT: What the f***--? -Hey!

What the hell's going on here?

-Maybe they know something. -l'll find out.

-Want me to come with you? Sure? -No, I got it. Mm-hm.

-l should go with her. -l want you to see something, Rog.

-She has a gift. Watch this. -A gift?

Morning, gentlemen. L.A.P.D. Got a few questions.

You on parole?

-l got a job, f***-o. -Shut up. Who asked you?

Do any of you know a Mr. Travis?

-You got a warrant? -No, I don't have a warrant. I can get one.

Well, until you do, f*** off.

Now, that's not a nice thing to say to a lady.

-F*** you. -l don't think so.



-Backspin kick. -Sheesh!

Aah! S***!


Watch out. You okay, honey?

I'm just great.


-Honey? LORNA: How are you doing?

This guy's on parole.

LORNA: And this guy's an a**hole.

-Riggs, there's five of them, man. -Yeah, I know.

Look at the front kick. Look at that.


Grabbed his cluster.

Let me help her.

Stay still.

Whoa! Hey, hey, hey.

My girl. Ha, ha.

This PMS, it's murder.

Ah, yeah, l know what you mean. I've been married 25 years.

So tell me about Travis.

Look, l told you before, moron, I don't know no Jack Travis.

I didn't say his name was Jack.

Hey, you better start telling me more than jack s***.

Hey, Murphy.

-People cross the street when they see me. -l didn't have enough time.

I'm not your enemy, captain. I'm just trying to do my job.

-Have you eaten? -l already ate. I gotta go downtown.

-What, do you eat alone? -l'm used to it.

It's bad for the digestion.

Tomorrow you have lunch with me, but I'm not paying.

The f*** is this?

Hey, buddy, you all right?

Two fingers, Murph.

-Jack, what the f***? -Get in the car. l'll tell you after the ride.

MURTAUGH: After watching Lorna handle herself so well...

...boy, I'm changing my mind about all that kung fu.

Hey you wanna try something?

-No. No, no, no. -Come on.

Guess you can't teach an old dog new tricks.

-Hey, hey, hey. Old dog, my ass, huh? -Yeah?

You wanna try something? Watch this. This is called a backspin kick.

Pivot right, kick with your left...

...and you whip that head around to catch the target over there.

Get that head round and follow through.

Like so. So you whip the head.

All right?

Thank you. Thank you. Now you try it.

-Here's your target. All right? -Okay.

Pivot on the right, kick with the left, get that head round and spot that target.

-Like that. -Yeah, that's it. Follow the head round.

Back up a bit. We don't want you to bump into this pole.

Just back up a little bit. A little bit more. Okay, good.

Mind and body strong now, grasshopper.

All right. Okay.




MURTAUGH: Hey, hey, hey! -He can't hold his water.

MURTAUGH: Get back to work.

Okay, okay, back to work, everybody.

Man. Oh, Rog, man, l'm sorry.

Sergeant Murtaugh.

You could be experiencing some transitional anger caused by the shooting.

You wanna talk about it?

-l think he's okay for a change, doc. -Are you sure?

Yeah. You know, you really look good in red. That's your color, l think.

-l've got a little extra time now, sergeant. -l'm fine, doctor.

Oh, s***.

Where's Sergeant Murtaugh?

-What? -No, her.

Can you tell me where l can find the good-looking Sergeant Murtaugh?

-Aah! DELORES: Hi, skinny.

-Delores. You remember me? RIGGS: l remember you.

Can you tell me where l can find the lovely Sergeant Murtaugh?

As a matter of fact, he's cowering down on all fours right behind this counter.


-Listen, where's the sergeant? -He's not here at the moment, Delores.

But, uh, he's talked of nothing but you all week.

DELORES: Shut my mouth. -The man's on fire.

-What's the matter, baby? -A little sciatica.

Oh. You tell him Delores was here.

You tell that man...

...that he's the jam in my jelly roll.


-l'll see you, baby, okay? Bye-bye. -Okay. Bye.


Delores says that you're the jam in her jelly roll. That's--

-l heard. -Heh.

-That's a lot of woman there. -S***.

She calls me all the time. And she leaves me notes. What am I gonna do?

-You shouldn't have led her on. -Led her on? I didn't do anything, Riggs.

I mean, if Trish finds out about it-- I didn't-- I didn't--

Sergeant, we have got to talk.

You've gotta come see me.

Well, we gotta work. Come on. Let's go.

-Thanks anyway, for your concern. -Yeah. Thanks, doc.

-You're a beauty. RIGGS: Coming?

A beauty. Yeah, l'm coming.

Afternoon, captain.

JACK: That's good, Murphy. See how easy that was?

I love it down here, don't you, Murph?

This place is better than the swap meet. Best bargains in town.

MURPHY: Give me the lock-up keys.

Those guys from the garage, they're all ex-cons.

And all busted by the same police officer...

...Lieutenant Jack Edward Travis.

Early paroles on the work furlough program.

Uh-huh. Employed by a company called Mesa Verde Construction.

Just a minute. You can't go in there. You don't have a pass.

-What? -May I see your pass?

-Wanna see? Here's my pass. -l do.

-l got shot in the line of duty, okay? -He's with us.

-He's with us? -Did l say that?

-Where'd you get her from? -What are you doing out of the hospital?

Don't mention the hospital. I told you not to leave me.

They tried to take my appendix. They gave me a lapotomy.

-Brain surgery? -No, a lapotomy.

Not a lobotomy. Cut your hair so you can hear.

What's the difference?

The difference is, when you get a lapotomy, they shave your nether regions.

-Nether what? -Your nether-- I can't say it in front of her.

Well, point to it.


-Okay. Here. -Must be itchy.

Yes, it is itchy. These doctors are savages.

Where does it say that a gunshot wound requires a rectal exam?

Huh? Huh?


Yeah. With a telescope big enough to see Venus.

I guess all they saw was Uranus, huh?

Oh, that's great. Huh-huh. That's great. Thank you.

-You know what l say? -What?

They f*** you in the hospital! First they drug you, then they f*** you.

And when they're done...

...along comes the insurance company, and f***s you some more.

Ten dollars for a f***ing aspirin, that's not even covered.

-Leo! -That's enough.

-We're trying to work here. -Okay.

What's new on our case? Anything new? You got Travis yet?

You take an ad out in the paper?

-He's family. We gotta go somewhere else. -Who's she?

-Sergeant Cole. -Hey, how are you? Leo Getz.

Anything you need, Leo Getz. Get it?

-l get it. -Real estate right now but....

Hey, listen. Come on, you guys, give me a break.

I owe this guy one. Give me something to do.

You can get us a cup of coffee.

That's great. I take one for you, and that's what you tell me?

-He could check this out. -That's all I'm good for? Takes slugs--

Leo, Leo, Leo. Look. We got something for you to do.

Check out Mesa Verde Construction. Find out all the information you can.

-Okay. Sure, l can do this. -Remember that name?

Right around-- Mesa Verde, I got it.

What are you doing giving him Mesa Verde?

If there's s*** there, he'll dig it up.

-Who is that guy? RIGGS: lt's a long story.

Here are your keys, captain.


-You motherf***er. -Don't be stupid.

MURPHY: The f***? -Take the elevator, bring the other guys.

Keys. Give me your f***ing hands.

Goddamn you, Travis. F***.

Stand there.

I can get faster results than that real-estate broker.

Leo's not just a real-estate broker.

Yeah, he's a royal pain in the ass with a lot of connections.

This is what we came for. Load everything on the elevator, guys.

-How'd you know where to find them? -We got it all.

World of computers, Murph. World of computers.

You used to be one of us, for chrissakes, Jack.

You know what future a cop has, Murph? None.

Punch a clock for 30 years. Retirement.


Nothing to do.

Drunk at noon, bullet in the brain by evening. Well, not for this kid.

Police department's got it all:

Guns, ammo, drugs, cash. It's a one-stop shopping center.

If you got the brains, there's not a thing anybody can do about it.

You're already f***ing history and you know it.

Sorry, Murph. But l'm just getting started.

LORNA: Something's wrong here. RIGGS: What?

The program's been accessed by somebody from the outside.

What? What's been accessed?

After the guns were stolen, lnternal Affairs moved the confiscated ammunition.

-Armor-piercing bullets? -Thousands of rounds... a more secured location. S***.

-That's been accessed. -Somebody knows.

Where's it stored? Where did they move it?

RIGGS: Wait, wait. LORNA: Let's go.

-l guess I'm not cut out for Internal Affairs. -Where is it?

LORNA: In the building. RIGGS: Where?

LORNA: I'm showing you. COP: Something going down?

-Nothing's going down. -l'm going with you.

-Uh, how old are you? -Twenty-two today.

Twenty-two? Come on. You got protection?

-Right here in my wallet. -No, your vest, you dummy.

Should we take him?

Okay, but keep your head down. Keep your head down.

-Stay behind me. -Come on, let's go.

COP: Yahoo! -Shh! Quiet.

JACK: See, you were my ticket in, Murph.

It's too bad you won't be coming with me.

RIGGS: Travis.

LORNA: They got it all. RIGGS: S***.

-He's dead. -How'd they get it out of here?

-l don't know. -They didn't take it upstairs.

MURTAUGH: Hey, hey. Elevator.

-S***. lt's down. -Hey, the subway's down there.

-We take the stairs. COP: L.A. has subways?

RIGGS: Where you been, kid?

MURTAUGH: Read something besides the funny pages.

MAN: All right, guys. Come on, let's hustle.

Hurry up, guys.

L.A.P.D., guys. Come here.

Come here. Step on it.

Son of a b***h.

You see anybody, anything strange?

-Lots of cops and a bunch of boxes. -Split now. Just get out of here.

-l'm going across. LORNA: I got it.


JACK: Get rid of Murphy, now!

Where the f*** do you think you're going? Let's go.



Split. Get out of here.

COP: Cover me.



Let's go. Let's go!



Son, stay still.

Happy birthday, kid.

MAN: Oh, s***!

Another baby.

Hey! Is he dead? Check the body.

MURPHY: Get me the f*** out of here, will you?

Hey, Riggs! Hey, Riggs!

Riggs! You stupid son of a b***h.

Stop that s***. Cut it out.

-Hey! Don't shoot. RIGGS: L.A.P.D., man.

Where does this come out?

-Pico Station. -Thanks, pal.

MAN: Hey, not that way.

-Take the stairs, man, it's faster. RIGGS: Okay, thanks.

MAN: Ow!

Sorry, pal. Where's the tunnel? Gangway!

Get out of the way.

Holy s***. Son of a b***h.



Step on it! There he is! Step on it!



Put your foot down!

I can't!




-Hey, police! I need your bike, man. -What? This is bulls***.

I need your bike. Sergeant Riggs, call it in. I need a couple clips too.



Hey, we lost him.


-Central, where's Riggs? DISPATCHER: Six-William-Six.

Central, keep me in touch with motorcycle pursuit.


-S***. JACK: Take a right, now.

Take a right! Go!

Go! Go! Go!

Stupid. Take a right. No, left!


JACK: S***!

RIGGS: Oh, s***!


Watch it!

MURTAUGH: This is 6-William-6, this is 6-William-6.

I'm at the freeway construction site.

Where's Riggs? I'm here. Where's Riggs? Come back to me, Central.

DISPATCHER: Six-William-Six, location west--

Where's Riggs? Where the hell is Riggs?

Take a left here. Get off. Get off the freeway.

Oh, Jesus!


Stop! Hold it!

Oh, s***!

Hang on.



Where is the pursuit?


Oh, s***.



-Riggs! Hey, just relax, Riggs. -Relax?

Riggs! Riggs!

Oh, s***!

Riggs! Riggs!

Riggs. Hey, Riggs.

Get back. Just get back. Get back!

Riggs, talk to me. Riggs.

Riggs, you're alive. Come here.

Don't move. Don't move. I said just get back!

You all right?


Hey, hey, hey, Riggs, don't--

Hey, hey, Riggs!

Don't touch me!

Okay, okay. I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you.

-Just be careful. -Don't touch me. Don't!


-Don't touch me. -Hey, okay, l won't touch you.

I'm not touching you.


-Okay. You okay now? -l'm p***ed now, Rog. Now I'm p***ed.

-Now what? -That son of a b***h.

He's done it twice now. Damn.

Son of a-- l'm gonna suck his eyes out through his nose.

Twice he got away. Nobody gets away from me!

Okay. Just relax. Just relax.

-Are you okay? -Yeah, I'm okay.

-Are you okay? -l'm okay. l'm okay. l'm okay.



-Hey, l'm having that. -You quit!

I ran out of biscuits, all right? Give me a break.


Oh, s***.



-What did l miss? RIGGS: What's he doing here?

-What are you doing here? -Great car chase.

-Great chase. -What are you doing here?

-How'd you find us, huh? -My police scanner.

What are you doing with a police scanner?

What am I--? Hello, Car 54, where are you? I cracked this case for you guys.

Listen. Mesa Verde's legit.

They got a housing project called Rancho Arroyo.

RIGGS: l know where that is. -Why don't we check it out?

-Good idea. -Okay, hey, wait. l'll come with you.

-No, you're not coming. -Yes, I am. l'll take my car.

-No, you're not. LEO: Yes, l am.

I can't believe you did that. I got a spare in the trunk.

-You're driving. -No, I'm driving.

How could you do that? I can't believe you did that.

-l can't believe you did that. RIGGS: Hey, where's Lorna?

-l can't believe you did that. MURTAUGH: With Walters.

I can't belie-- l can't believe you did that.

How could you do that to me?

Did you see that? They're my partners.

-l can't believe they did that. -Twenty-one and 1 8, clear.

Excuse me, do you own your home?



-Looks like we came to the right place. -Yeah.

Move on out to Travis Town.

Great place to raise a family.

Built on guns and bloodshed.

One hell of a retirement plan this a**hole's got, isn't it?

Let's foreclose on this son of a b***h.

-Say, is that, uh--? -lt's Darryl's gun.

-Saving it for the right occasion. -This is the right occasion.

MURTAUGH: How many men you think he has?

Who knows? Maybe l should run over there and ask him?

-That'd be too easy. -Yeah.

Wish I had some grenades or a rocket launcher.

Maybe a ground-to-air missile.

Hey, I wonder what Murphy's got in his trunk.

Well, it's obvious Murph was never a Boy Scout.

-Not even a good spare. -Yeah.



Put your hands down. lt's embarrassing.


-How you doing? -Kissing, huh?

-Fresh ones, huh? -Oh, yeah. Shaving cuts.

Don't get points for those.

-How did you get here? -Drove.

-No, no. How--? -l ran into Leo at the police station.

-He talked to me first. -Leo, Leo.

LORNA: Any ideas? RIGGS: Lucky thing we got a plan.

MURTAUGH: Yeah. -Yeah, lucky thing. What is it?

-Oh, no. I want it to be a surprise. -Oh, I like surprises.


MAN: Move it!

-Let's check it out. -Let's go.

-Look what they did to Murph's car. -Could've been worse.

-Could've been yours. RIGGS: Could've been Trish's.

-On three. -Three.

-Three? -Yeah, three.


[IN UNlSON] One...

-...two.... LORNA: Three.

-Police! Freeze! RIGGS: Hey!

Oh, s***!


-Go! Go! Let's go! -Yeah, yeah.

What's wrong with you? I said go on three, not two.

-Nobody goes on two. -On three!

RIGGS: Three. It's always three. -Boys! Boys!

What are we doing here? Losing our heads in a crisis?

Cover me. Cover me.




-Hey, Rog! -Murtaugh!

-What? -Count to 20.

-What? -Count to 20, then light me!


Riggs, it's loaded with ammo.

-Cover me. -Cover you?

Cover you, cover Riggs. Cover everybody.

When's somebody gonna cover me for a change?

What's that, 1 3, 14? Ah, to hell with it.

Jack, it's the cops. They're burning everything.


Son of a b***h. S***. Crazy motherf***er!

Damn. Riggs, the ammo. Get out of there.

-Riggs, you crazy son of a b***h. -Yeah! Ha, ha!


Son of a b***h. lt works. S***.

Stay there. That s*** works, Riggs. Riggs!

Son of a b***h. No clip.

Lorna, no, don't!


Come on in, b***h.

-Door's open. -Aah!




I'm gonna eat your f***ing heart!



Son of a b***h.

RIGGS: Travis!




Armor-piercing bullets, yeah. Cop killers.

You're coming with me.


F*** you, a**hole!

Hey, Riggs.


Riggs! Hey, Riggs. Riggs!

Riggs! Get up! Get up, Riggs! Get up! Get up!

Killed in the line of duty, Riggs!

You'll get a great funeral from the department, Riggs!

MURTAUGH: Hey, Riggs. Cop killers.

Ex-cop killers.

Go to hell, Riggs.

You first.

Hey, Riggs! Crazy son of a b***h.


Sorry, honey, l gotta do it. l gotta look.

Oh. Oh.

Just hold still. Hold still.

Hey, get a chopper, man. Get a chopper.

She had two vests on. She's gonna be okay.

A couple of bad ones. We need to get a chopper.

Okay. You're all right, partner. You're all right. All right. Hang on. Okay.

It's okay, it's okay. Just lie still. Just lie still.

Just a romantic evening by the fire, just the two of us.

Just be still.

MAN 1 : Lock and load! MAN 2: l got it.

Honey, open your eyes. Open your eyes.

Open your eyes.

What are you trying to prove out there, huh?

Huh? Why do you do that?

-Can l take this off? MEDIC: Yeah.

You're supposed to grow old with someone...

...not because of them, all right?

I'm gonna be with you, Lorna.

Hey, I'm with you now. Look, l'm right here.

We're both here, right? Right.

Come on, l wanna be with you.

What have you got to lose?


Not likely.

-Hey, Lorna. -Yeah?

Let's live to regret this, huh?

MEDIC: Okay, we've gotta go, sarge. -Okay.

MEDIC: She's gonna be fine.

RIGGS: Can you hear me?

I love you.



ALL [SlNGlNG]: Happy retirement, Daddy

Happy retirement, Daddy

This is it. This is the day.

NICK: Everybody? Daddy?

I want you to know there's a candle for every year in the force.

-Yes. A lot of years. RIANNE: That's a lot.

TRlSH: Come on, you have to blow it out. Come on.

TRlSH: Blow them out. CARRlE: Blow them out. Come on.

-l can't. -Come on, we'll help.

-No, that's not what l mean. TRlSH: What?

I can't retire.

I thought I could. l wanted to.

But l can't.

That means you're gonna stay with the force?

That means I'm staying with the force, baby.

NICK: This cake's about to explode, so, uh, you better blow out these candles.

But, um, Dad, l want you to know that I'm behind you all the way.

CARRlE: Yeah, me too. RIANNE: So am I, Dad.

-lt's okay. -Well, the streets will be safer...

...for another couple years.


-Word, Nick. -Word, Dad.

Blow them out.

LEO: Hello?

TRlSH: Hello. Up here! LEO: Hello?

-Hello. Hey, l gotta talk to Roger. TRlSH: Leo.

Oprah should see this.

I can't believe this. Okay, this is great.

TRlSH: Leo, what is it?

Where's Riggs? I didn't know he could hold his breath that long.

-Okay, okay. -l'm taking a bath, Leo.

I can see that. And it's cold water too. There goes your image.

TRlSH: Leo. LEO: Listen, l got great news, okay?

Okay? Once again, Leo Getz has delivered.

Okay, l have sold this turkey.

This termite-infested dump is now gone. Okay?

You have to sign the contract before the suckers change their mind.

Okay? l did it. I did it.

MURTAUGH: Hey, hey. Leo, Leo. -What?

The house is off the market.

We're gonna stay in this termite-infested turkey for another 1 0 years.

TRlSH: At least. RIANNE: l'll get married in here.

TRlSH: Come on, you guys. Come on, out. LEO: You can't do this.

TRlSH: Out, out. LEO: No, you can't do that.

RIANNE: You too, Leo. LEO: You can't do that.

I have contracts signed.

Because we're partners, no commission. Okay?

-Partners? -You and Riggs owe me two new tires.

MURTAUGH: Why? -Why?

Bullets aren't covered in normal road hazard. That's why.

-l want those tires! No conditions! -Oh, God. Leo, get out of here.

-Don't tell me to get out! -Get out. Leo, out, out!

You're lucky your wife's here. You're lucky--

TRlSH: Out! LEO: Okay.


-Don't come to me if the-- -Get out!

LEO: Termites get-- Okay, okay. TRlSH: No more!

-Your friends. -Yeah.

Ten more years till forced retirement, huh, baby?

That's, uh, 3650 days.

-Forty-nine. -Oh, yeah.



-l'll try and improve my image. -Mm.



-See you soon. Thanks a lot. RIGGS: Don't mention it.

Oh, bye, Daddy.

Bye, baby.


-What are you smiling at? -Heh.

-Why weren't you at my party, huh? -l knew you weren't gonna retire.

I've been wrong about a couple things in my life, but l knew you wouldn't retire.

Well, l knew you couldn't stop smoking.

I'm smoking to take my mind off my dog-biscuit problem.

-What dog-biscuit problem? -l've been chasing more cars lately...

...and, uh, when I try and lick my balls, I keep falling off the couch.

Jesus Christ. Hey, hey, hey. I'm driving. Other side.

I got no dispute. l just came over to open the door for you.

Thank you for opening the door.

-Need some help? An old fella like you-- -l'll show you a fella my age.

-Who's a grumpy bastard? -l'm a grumpy bastard.


-You know something, Riggs? -What?

When I do retire, I hope your next partner is just like you.

There's winners and there's losers, and God wouldn't do that to me.

Well, he did it to me.

I know.

See what l mean?

-My point, exactly. -Son of a b***h. S***.

Stay away from my daughter.

RIGGS: You can't be serious. What are you talking about?

MURTAUGH: I saw what it was. You kissed Rianne.

RIGGS: She kissed me. She finds me irresistible.

MURTAUGH: That's not the point. RIGGS: lt was a platonic peck on the cheek.

MURTAUGH: If it's just friendship, try shaking hands next time.

RIGGS: Getting enough fiber in your diet? MURTAUGH: I'm getting enough fiber.

RIGGS: I'm spoken for, okay?

I'm gonna pick Lorna up from the hospital this afternoon.

MURTAUGH: Yeah? RIGGS: Yeah, we're practically--

MURTAUGH: You're serious? RIGGS: We got a dog and everything.

I figure I can, uh, you know, make ends meet.

DISPATCHER [OVER RADlO]: All units. All units. Code 2, high.

MURTAUGH: Hey, don't even think about it, Riggs. Don't even try.

RIGGS: This is us, rolling to Code 2, high, at Verrina Place.

MURTAUGH: S***, Riggs. This time we wait for the bomb squad.

RIGGS: You think l want to end up in uniform again?

DISPATCHER [OVER RADlO]: 20-William-12, the REA bomb squad's en route. All units.

MAN: Those guys gonna get in the way again?

MURTAUGH: Okay, there it is. You happy? Let's go.

RIGGS: Ah, we ain't seen nothing yet, though, Rog.

-Come on, just get me up there closer. MURTAUGH: It's roped off.

RIGGS: Can't see the bomb squad. MURTAUGH: They're coming.

RIGGS: Okay, all right. All right. Stop here and l'll just get out.

MURTAUGH: No, don't get out of the car, Riggs. No. Riggs!

RIGGS: Tell me, Rog, was it red wire, blue--?

Let's get out of here! Step on the gas.

MURTAUGH: They'll never believe this.

RIGGS: l hope nobody saw us. MURTAUGH: They'll blame me.

RIGGS: Let's keep cool. You better get your girdle out of m***balls.

MURTAUGH: They'll say, "Back in uniform again."

RIGGS: Find one that fits. MURTAUGH: Ten more years of this.

RIGGS & MURTAUGH [lN UNlSON]: I'm too old for this s***.

[ENGLISH - US - SDH] RIGGS & MURTAUGH [lN UNlSON]: I'm too old for this s***.