[Columbia Symphony Orchestra: Born Free]
Marty: Ahhh! (Falls, springs into a double somersault and hits his head against the wall) Alex! Do not interrupt me when I'm daydreaming! When a zebra's in the zone, leave him alone.
Alex: Come on. Just wanted to wish you a happy birthday.
Marty: Hey, man, thanks.
Alex: Hey, I got something stuck in my teeth. It's driving me crazy. Can you help me? Please?
Marty: You came to the right place, my friend. Dr. Marty, D.D.S., is in the house. Please hop on top of my sterilized examination table, if you may. - I don't see anything.
Alex: It's on the left. Oh, sorry.
Marty: OK, just don't talk with your mouth full. Right here. What the heck is this doing in there?
Alex: Happy birthday!
Marty: Aw, hey, thanks, man. You put it in behind the tooth. You all right. These aren't even on the shelf yet. Here. Check it out. - Look at that. Ooh! Look at that. - Look at that. It's snowing. Ten years old, huh? A decade. Double digits. The big 1-0. You don't like it? - No, no, it's great. - You hate it. I should've gotten you the Alex alarm clock. That's the big seller. No, no, no. The present's great, really. It's just that another year's come and gone and I'm still doing the same old thing. "Stand over here. Trot over there. Eat some grass. Walk back over here." - I see your problem. - I should go to law school. You just need to break out of that boring routine. - How? - Throw out the old act. Who knows what you'll do. Make it up as you go along. Ad lib. Improvise. On the fly. Boom, boom, boom. - Really? - You know, make it fresh.
Marty: Fresh, huh? OK. I could do fresh.
Alex: Works for me. Here come the people, Marty. I love the people. It's fun people fun time! Let's go, Gloria! Up and at 'em. We're open! What day is it? It's Friday! Field trip day! Yes, it's field trip day. Let's get up and go... ...in ten more minutes. Come on! Melman, Melman, Melman! Melman, Melman, Melman! Wake up! Rise and shine! It's another fabulous morning in the Big Apple. Let's go! - Not for me. I'm calling in sick. - What? I found another brown spot on my shoulder. Right here. See? Right there. You see? Melman, you know it's all in your head. Hm? Let's go! Come on!
Mason: Phil! Wake up, you filthy monkey. Oh, I'm going to be fresh. Straight out the ground. Tasty fresh! Freshalicious. Ziploc fresh. Ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages, the Central Park Zoo proudly presents: Show them the cat. Who's the cat? The king of New York City. Alex the lion! It's showtime. Roar! Gather around, people. Big show about to start. Check out the zebra taking care of biz. That's right. Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave. Kowalski, progress report! We're 500 feet from the main sewer line. - And the bad news? - We've broken our last shovel. Right. Rico, you're on litter patrol. We need shovels. And find more Popsicle sticks. We don't want to risk another cave-in.
Private: And me, Skipper?
Skipper: I want you to look cute and cuddly, Private. Today we're going to blow this dump. Come here. Come here. Come on, penguin.
Marty: Yeah! You don't see that on Animal Planet! Ha-ha. Well, show's over, folks. Thanks for coming. I hope you thought it was fresh. I'll be here all week. In fact, I'll be here for my whole life. Three hundred and sixty-five days a year, including Christmas, Hanukkah, Halloween, Kwanzaa. Please don't forget to never spay or neuter your pets. And tip your cabby, because he's broke.
Skipper: You, quadruped. Sprechen sie Englisch?
Marty: I sprechen. - What continent is this?
Skipper: Hoover Dam! We're still in New York. Abort. Dive! Dive! Dive.
Marty: Hey. You in the tux! Wait a minute. What are you guys doing?
Private: We're digging to Antarctica.
Skipper: Can you keep a secret, my monochromatic friend? Do you ever see any penguins running free around New York City? Of course not. We don't belong here. It's just not natural. This is all some kind of whacked-out conspiracy. We're going to the wide-open spaces of Antarctica. To the wild!
Marty: The wild? You could actually go there? That sounds great. Hey, hold up. Where is this place? Tell me where it is.
Skipper: You didn't see anything. Right?
Marty: Yes, sir. I'm sorry. No, sir. For his final appearance of the day, the king of New York City. Alex the lion.
Alex: Roar! Thank you. Thank you very much. You guys are great. You're a great crowd. Give yourselves a hand. Thank you. Oh. Thank you. Oh! Well. Thank you. Oh, that's too kind. Too kind.
Alex: Everybody get home safe. Hey! Check out my Web site. Twenty-four hour Alex Cam. Watch me sleep.
Gloria: This is the life.
Melman: That's the spot. Oh! I'm in heaven. - Ooh, it's Marty's birthday. - Just rip it open. - What is it? - Come on. Open it up. What you got? A thermometer. Thanks. I love it, Melman. I love it.
Melman: I wanted to give you something personal. That was my first rectal thermometer. - I'll miss that bad boy. - Get the cake. Melman, come on. Happy birthday to you You live in a zoo You look like a monster And you smell like one too
Mason: I say!
Marty: Aw, well, now, you guys are just embarrassing me. And yourselves.
Alex: What are you talking about? We worked on that all week.
Gloria: Let's go. Let's make a wish, babycakes.
Alex: What'd you wish for?
Marty: Nope. Can't tell you that.
Alex: Come on. Tell.
Marty: No siree. I'm telling you, it's bad luck. You want some bad luck, I'll blab it out. But if you want to be safe, I'll keep my mouth shut.
Gloria: Would you just tell us? What could happen?
Marty: OK. I wished I could go to the wild!
Alex: The wild?!
(Melman eats the party thing and chokes)
Marty: I told you it was bad luck.
Alex: The wild? Are you nuts? That is the worst idea I've ever heard. It's unsanitary. The penguins are going. So why can't I? The penguins are psychotic. Come on. Just imagine going back to nature. Back to your roots. Clean air, wide-open spaces! There's wide-open spaces in Connecticut. - Connecticut? - You got to go over to Grand Central. Then you got to take the Metro-North train... north? So one could take the train? Just hypothetically. Come on. What would Connecticut have to offer us? - Lyme disease. - Thank you, Melman. No, I just want... There's none of this in the wild. This is a highly refined type of food thing that you do not find in the wild. Ever thought there might be more to life than steak, Alex? He didn't mean that, baby. No, no, no. Doesn't it bother you guys that you don't know anything about life outside this zoo? - Nuh-uh. Nope. - Mm-mm. Well, I mean, come on. That's just one subject. You got a little schmutz right there on your...
Marty: Thanks, guys. Thanks for the party. It was great. Really.
Melman: What's eating him?
Gloria: Maybe you should talk to him. Go over and give him a little pep talk.
Alex: Hey, I already gave him a snow globe. I can't top that.
Melman: I can see where this is going. It is getting late. I guess I'm going to... Come on. He's your best friend. All right, all right. OK. - Night, Marty. - Night, Glo.
Alex: What a day. I mean, I tell you, it just doesn't get any better than this, you know? Ooh! It just did. Even the star's out. Not going to find a star like that in the wild.
Marty: Helicopter. Marty. Buddy. Listen. Everybody has days when they think the grass might be greener somewhere else. Alex. Look at me. I'm ten years old. My life is half over. And I don't even know if I'm black with white stripes... ...or white with black stripes. Marty. I'm thinking of a song. Alex. Please. Not now. Oh, yes. It's a wonderful song. I think you're familiar with it. Oh, no. Oh, no, you don't. No, no, no. I'm not listening! Start spreadin' the news I don't know you. I'm leaving today - We are a great big part of it - He's funny. Who is that? Come on. You know you know the words. Two little words. New York. New York Shut up, shut up, shut up! Hey, I'm sleeping here! We're not all nocturnal! I'll knock your "turnal" right off, pal. Yeah, you and what army, stripes? You mess with him, you mess with me, Howard. - You're a bigmouth lion. - See? Mr. Grumpy Stripes. We make a great team, the two of us. We sure do. No doubt about it. So, what are you going to do? Go running off to the wild by yourself? - No. - Good. You and me. Let's go. - What?
Marty: The wild. Come on. You and me together. It's a straight shot down Fifth Avenue to Grand Central. We'll grab a train, we'll head north. We can be back by morning. No one will ever know. You're joking. Right? Yeah. I'm joking. Of course I'm joking. Give me a break. Like we're going to get a train. Don't do that. You really had me worried there. Oh, well. I guess I'll hit the sack. Yeah, me too. I'll need to rest my voice for tomorrow. It's Seniors' Day, you know. Have to roar extra loud. Give them a little jolt. You know?
Marty: Good night, Ally Al. They forgot to turn off the ambience again.
Marty: Don't worry. It's cool. You know, I got it. Much better. Come on, now, baby. My little filet. My little filet mignon with a little fat around the edges. I like that. I like a little fat on my steak. My sweet, juicy steak. You are a rare delicacy. Alex. Alex. Alex! What? What? You suck your thumb? What is it, Melman? You know how I have that bladder infection and I have to get up every two hours? I got up to pee and looked over at Marty's pen, which I usually don't do. I don't know why, but I did. And... What? What's going on? It's Marty. He's gone.
Alex: Gone?! What do you mean, "gone"?
Melman: How long has he been working on this? Marty! Marty!
Gloria: He wouldn't fit down there. Marty? Marty! Marty! This doesn't make any sense. Where would he go? - Connecticut! - He wouldn't. Oh, no! What are we going to do? I mean, we got to call somebody!
Alex: Hello? Get me some Missing Animals. And hurry. We've got a lost zebra on the way to Connecticut by now, and we're gonna need... - Hello? Hello?
Alex: Wait a second. We can't call the people. - What the? They'll be really mad. It'll get Marty transferred. Don't bite the hand that feeds you. I know that's right. We got to go after him. He's not thinking straight. Stop him from making the biggest mistake of his life. He's probably out there lost and cold, confused. Poor little guy. Come on. One of us should wait in case he comes back. Not now. This is an intervention. We all got to go. What's the fastest way to Grand Central? - You should take Lexington. - Melman! - OK. "We." We should take Lexington. - What about Park? No, Park goes two ways. You can't time the lights. I heard Tom Wolfe is speaking at Lincoln Center. Well, of course we're going to throw poo at him.
Alex: We should've taken Park. Sure this is the fastest way to Grand Central Station?
Gloria: I don't know! That's what Melman said.
Melman: Hey. Hey, you, guys. That room has some nifty little sinks you can wash up in, and look! Free mints!
Alex: This isn't a field trip. This is an urgent mission to save Marty from throwing his life away. Now, where's the train?
Melman: Here it comes.
Gloria: What did Marty say to you? I asked you to talk to him!
Alex: I did! I did! I don't understand! He said, "Let's go." I said, "Are you crazy?" He says, "I'm ten years old." And he has black-and-white stripes, and so then we sang and...
Police Horse: What you got to do is go straight back down West 42nd. It's on your left after Vanderbilt. If you hit the Chrysler Building, you've gone too far.
Marty: Thanks a lot, officer.
Police Horse: Hey! Wait for the light. Freak.
Police radio: Did you say "zebra"?
Police Officer: That's right. A zebra. Right in front of me. Can I shoot it?
Police radio: Negative.
Police Officer: Then I'm going to need some backup.
Alex: Aw! Knicks lost again.
Melman: What are you going to do?
Alex: Did that say "Grand Central Station" or "my aunt's constipation"
Gloria: This is it.
Marty: Grand Central Station! It's grand and it's central.
Alex: Move aside. We have an emergency here. This is an emergency situation. Hey, hey. Just chill out. It's not that big of an emergency.
Old Lady: Upstairs, downstairs. How do you like that?
Alex: Lady! What is wrong with you?! Ow! Get a grip on yourselves, people.
Old Lady: You're a bad kitty!
Marty: Dagnabbit! I missed the express. Looks like I'll have to take the Stamford local.
Alex: I got him! I've got him!
Gloria: He's got him!
Melman: He's got him! He's got him! He's got...
Old Lady: I got something for you!
Melman: I'm OK. I'm OK.
Marty: Whoa! What are you guys doing here? - I am so glad we found you. - We were so worried about you.
Marty: Don't worry, I'm fine, I'm fine. Look at me. I'm fine.
Alex: You're fine? Oh, he's fine. Oh, great. You hear that? Marty's fine. That's good to know. Because I was wondering... How could you do this to us? I thought we were your friends! What's the big deal? I was coming back. Don't ever do this again. You hear me? - Do you hear him?
Melman: Guys, We're running out of time.
Gloria: Oh, Melman, you broke their clock?
Alex: ...do this again! Don't you ever, ever do this again!
Gloria: Come here.
Skipper: We've been ratted out, boys. Hold your fire! Cute and cuddly, boys. Cute and cuddly.
Mason: If you have any poo, fling it now.
Marty: It's the Man. Good evening, officers.
Alex: No. No. No. You don't talk now. OK? You're not good with the "putting words together and their coming out good" thing. You keep it "shh". Hey! How you doing? You know what? Everything's cool. We just had a little situation here. Little internal situation. My friend went a little crazy. It Happens to everybody. The city gets to us all. Went a little cuckoo in the head.
Marty: Don't be calling me cuckoo in the head.
Alex: Just shush! I will handle this.
Old Lady: I got him! Go, go, go! Right here, please.
Alex: Would you give a guy a break? We'll take my little friend home and forget this ever happened. All right? No harm, no foul, right? Hey, it's cool. It's me, Alex the lion. From the zoo. What's the matter with them? I feel really, really weird. I love you guys. I love you so much.
News Reporter: Last night's dramatic incident in Grand Central is an example of what animal rights wackos have been shouting for years: Animals clearly don't belong in captivity. They are to be sent back to their natural habitat, where they will live their lives in the freedom they desire.
Alex: Hey. Little help?
Guard: He's awake! He's awake!
Alex: Oh, man. Oh, my head. What the? Wait. Where? What? I'm in a box! Oh, no. No, no! Not the box. Oh, no, they can't transfer me. Not me! Oh, I can't breathe. I can't breathe. Darkness creeping in. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. Walls closing in around me. So alone. So alone. - Alex! Alex, are you there? - Marty? - Yeah! Talk to me, buddy. - Oh, Marty! You're here! - What's going on? You OK? - This doesn't look good. - Alex, Marty, is that you? - Gloria! - You're here too! - I am loving the sound of your voice. - What is going on? - We're all in crates. Oh, no! - Sleeping just knocks me out. - Melman! Is that Melman? - Are you OK? - Yeah. No, I'm fine. I often doze off while I'm getting an MRI. - You're not getting an MRI. - CAT scan? No CAT scan. It's a transfer. It's a zoo transfer! Zoo transfer?! Oh, no. No, no, I can't be transferred. I have an appointment with Dr. Goldberg at 5.00. There are prescriptions that have to be filled. No other zoo could afford my medical care. And I am not going HMO! Take it easy, Melman. It's going to be OK. - We are going to be okizay. - No, we're not going to be okizay. Now, because of you, we're ruined! Because of me? I fail to see how this is my fault. - You're kidding, right, Marty? - You. You ticked off the people. You bit the hand, Marty. You bit the hand. "I don't know who I am. I got to go find myself in the wild." Oh, please. I did not ask you to come after me, did I? He does have a point. I did say we should stay at the zoo, but you guys... Melman, just shut it! You suggested this idea to him in the first place. - Leave Melman out of this. - Thank you. Besides, it's not my fault we were transferred. Melman, shut it. Does anybody feel nauseous? - I feel nauseous. - Melman, you always feel nauseous.
Kowalski:It's an older code, Skipper. I can't make it out.
Skipper:You, higher mammal.Can you read?
Mason: No. Phil can read, though. Phil. Ship to Kenya. Wildlife preserve. Africa!
Skipper: Africa? That ain't going to fly. Rico.
I was the star in the greatest city on Earth! - Guys, listen. - A king! Loved by my people! - Let's be civil. - And you've ruined everything! "Loved"? If the people loved you, it's only because they didn't know the real you! Now make me come up there. I'll whoop both of y'all. I thought I knew the real you! Your black-and-white stripes, they cancel each other out. You're nothing! Stop it, stop it, stop it! You're not helping the situation.
Private:It's no good. I don't know the codes. Don't give me excuses. Give me results! Navigation. All right. Let me think. And shut him up! -
Private:I did it!
Skipper:Let's get this tin can turned around.
Alex: Guys? Oh, no. Gloria! Melman! Marty!
Alex: Marty! No, wait. Come back, Marty! Don't go. Marty? Melman? Gloria? Marty?! Melman?! Gloria?! Marty! Melman! Gloria! Hey, anyone! Hello! Marty, Melman, Gloria. Gloria, Melman, Marty. Marty, Gelman, Gloria. Marty, Melman. Morty, Morty, Gelman. Regis. Kelly. Matt, Katie, Al.
Melman: Get me out of this thing. Somebody. Hello? Get me out of this thing right now! Hello? Somebody?
Melman:Alex? Is that you? Melman, I got you. Hang on! Hang on. I got you. Melman! I got you, buddy. Wait a sec, Melman. Wait right there. -
Melman: Alex,what are you doing?
Alex: I'm getting you out of the box. - Relax. - Alex? Giraffe, corner pocket! Here goes nothing! - Wait, wait, wait, wait. - Hold still! - Wait, Alex. - Hold still. - No, come on. - Here I come!
Melman: Look! Look! Look! Look! It's Gloria. It's Gloria! Oh, hey, it is Gloria. Oh, my... Gloria! Gloria!
Gloria: Alrighty, boys, fun's over.
Gloria: Alex! Marty?
Marty: Yeah! All right! That's right! Left! Left! Left. No, no, your left! Your left! Your left! Right here's good. I don't have anything on me. I'll have to get you later. To you too.
Alex: Marty! Marty!
Marty: Oh, sugar, honey, ice tea. Martin! - Hold up! - I'm going to kill you! - Come here! Don't run away from me! - Calm down! If you keep running, I'm going to just kill you more! Oh, look at us. We're all here together. Safe and sound. Yeah, here we are. Where exactly is "here"? San Diego.
Gloria: San Diego?
Melman: White sandy beaches, cleverly simulated natural environment, wide-open enclosures. I'm telling you, this could be the San Diego Zoo. Complete with fake rocks. Wow, that looks real.
Alex: San Diego? What could be worse than San Diego?
Marty: I don't know. This place is crackalacking! Oh, I could hang here. I could hang here.
Alex I'll kill you, Marty!
Marty:Take it easy! - Strangle you! - Calm down. Then bury you, dig you up, clone you and kill your clones. - 20-second timeout. - And then I'll never talk to you again.
Gloria: Now, look. We're just going to find the people, get checked in and have this mess straightened out.
Alex: Oh, great. This is just great. San Diego! Now I'll have to compete with Shamu and his smug little grin. I can't top that. Can't top it. I'm ruined! I'm gone! I'm out of the business! It's your fault, Marty! You've ruined me!
Marty: Come on, Alex. Do you honestly think I intended all of this to happen? You want me to say that I'm sorry? Is that what you want? OK, I'm...
Marty:He just shushed me.
Gloria:Marty, you've got to be just a little bit more und...
Gloria:Don't you shush me.
Alex: Do you hear that? Don't you hear that?
Marty: I hear it. now.
Gloria: Where there's music, there's people.
Alex: Go to the head honcho.
Melman: A sidewalk would be nice.
Gloria: Yeah, what a dump.
Alex: They should call it the San Di-lame-o Zoo. First they tell you, "We got this great open plan thing. Let animals run wild." Next thing, flowers in your hair, everybody's hugging everybody!
Marty: This place kind of grows on you. This way, guys! Come on!
Gloria:OK, let's make a good impression on the people. Smiles, everyone. Let's get it together. - Is that the best you can do? -
Melman: Oh, I'm not smiling. It's gas.
Gloria: Well, great. Let's make gas look good.
Gloria: It's not people. It's animals.
Melman:California animals. Dude.
Marty:This is like a Puffy party!
I like to move it, move it I like to move it, move it - Ya like to - Move it I like to move it, move it I like to move it, move it I like to move it, move it - Ya like to - Move it I like to move it, move it You like to move it, move it She like to move it, move it - He like to - Move it All girls all over the world Original King Julien 'pon yer case, man I love how all the girls that love to move their body When ya move your body, ya do Move it nice and sweet and sassy, all right
Gloria:What kind of zoo is this?
Melman: I just saw 26 blatant health code violations.
Marty: I'm loving San Diego. This place is off the chizain.
King Julien: Woman, physically fit, physically fit, physically, physically, physically fit Physically fit, Physically fit...
Marty: We should've brought chips and dip!
Gloria: Wait. Where's Alex? What happened to him? He was right behind us. Wasn't he?
Marty: I don't know where he's at, but he's missing one heck of a party.
Lemur:The foosa! The foosa! The foosa are attacking! Run for your lives! -
Foosa hungry. - Fossa eat.
Alex: I hate spiderwebs. Yeah, thanks a lot, guys. Thanks for waiting up. Really appreciate it. Hi. We just got in from New York, and we're looking for a supervisor. Because we've been sitting on that beach there for hours, and nobody's even bothered to show up. I don't know how things are normally run around here, but there's been some sort of major screw-up, which is cool. If you could point us towards the administrative offices, we'll just, uh...
Spider: Well, howdy-do.
Alex: Spider! Spider! Spider on my back!
King Julien: Maurice, did you see that?
Maurice: He scared the foosa away.
Come on, Gloria. Get it. Get it! Get it! Get it! - That's it! Smack it! - Get it, get it! Whip it! Whip it good! Where'd it go?
Mort: King Julien, what are they? What are they?!
King Julien: They are aliens! Savage aliens from the savage future.
Maurice: They've come to kill us! And take our women! And our precious metals!
(Animals gasp. Mort starts sobbing.)
King Julien: Get up, Mort. Do not be near the king's feet, OK? Shh! We're hiding. Be quiet, everyone. Including me.Shh! Who's making that noise? Oh, it's me again.
There it is! Get it! Come on, Gloria! - Enough! Enough with the stick. - I think she got it.
Alex:Is it still on me? I hate spiders.
Gloria:It's OK. It's gone.
Mort: They are savages! Tonight we die.
King Julien: The feet. I told you... I told you to... I told every... Didn't I tell him about the feet?
Maurice: He did tell you about the feet.
King Julien: Wait. I have a plan.
King Julien: I have devised a cunning test to see whether these are savage killers.
Mort: No. Ooh!
Marty: Hi there.
Alex: Ahem! You let me handle it. (Whispering) Alex handles it. Marty does nothing.
[Alex walks up to Mort]
Alex: Hi there! (Mort cries again.) Oh, jeez. Sorry.
Melman: Oh, Alex, what'd you do?
Alex: Stop. Stop. It's OK. It's OK. I'm just a silly... Just a silly lion. (Mort bursts into tears) Oh, jeez!
Marty: Aw, Alex!
Gloria: Oh, you poor little baby. Did that big mean lion scare you? He did? He's a big, bad old puddy tat, isn't he? Come on. Mama'll hold you. Aww, look at you.
Melman: They are cute from a reasonable distance.
Gloria: Aren't you the sweetest little thing. I just want to dunk him in my coffee.
King Julien: They're just a bunch of pansies.
Maurice: I don't know. There's something about that one with the crazy hairdo that I find suspicious.
King Julien: Nonsense, Maurice. Come on, everybody! Let's go and meet the pansies!
[All the lemurs come out of their hiding places to meet them.]
Maurice: Presenting your royal highness, our illustrious King Julien XIII, self-proclaimed lord of the lemurs, et cetera. Hooray, everybody.
Marty:He's got style.
Alex: What is he, like, king of the guinea pigs?
Melman I think it's a squirrel.
King Julian: Welcome, giant pansies! Please feel free to bask in my glow!
Alex: Definitely a squirrel.
King Julien:We thank you with enormous gratitude for chasing away the fossa.
King Julien: The fossa.They're always annoying us by trespassing,interrupting our parties and ripping our limbs off.
Alex:Good. We're trying to find out where the people are, so...
Maurie:Oh my.What big teeth you have. Man!
King Julian: Shame on you, Maurice! Can you not see that you have insulted the freak? You must tell me, who the heck are you?
Alex:I'm Alex. The Alex. And this is Gloria, Marty and Melman.
Maurice:And just where are you giants from?
Alex: We're from New York and...
King Julien: All hail the New York giants!
Lemurs:New York giants!
Alex:Is this some sort of inbreeding programme? I say we just got to ask these bozos where the people are.
King Julien:Excuse me. We bozos have the people, of course.
Melman:Hey, the bozos have the people.
Alex:Oh, well, great. Good. Phew.
King Julien: They're up there. Don't you love the people? Not a very lively bunch, though.
Alex: Wow. So do you have any live people?
King Julien: No. Only dead ones.
Maurice: I mean, if we had a lot of live people here, it wouldn't be called the wild, would it?
Alex:Whoa. Hold up there a second, fuzzbucket. You mean, like, the "live in a mud hut, wipe yourself with a leaf" type wild?
King Julien: Who wipes?
Gloria: Oy vey.
King Julien: Oy vey!
Maurice: Oy vey, everybody! Oy vey!
Alex: Could you excuse me for a moment? Get me out of here! We got to get out of here! Help!
Gloria: Alex. What are you doing?
Alex: I'm swimming back to New York! I know my chances are slim, but I have to try.
Gloria: You can't swim.
Alex: I said my chances are slim!
Melman: Aah! Nature! It's all over me! Get it off! I can't see! I can't see! I can see! Waah!!
Gloria: Ok, look. There's obviously been a little mistake. The people didn't dump us here on purpose. As soon as they realize what happened, they'll come looking for us, right?
Melman: Yeah, right.
Gloria: You know something? I bet they're already on their way.
Skipper: Well, boys, it's going to be ice-cold sushi for breakfast. Rico.
Melman: Well, since I'm doomed to die on this forsaken island, I, Melman Mankiewicz, being of sound mind and unsound body, have divided my estate equally among the three of you. Sorry, Alex.
Marty: Hey! A latrine. Nice work, Melman. Outdoor plumbing.
Alex: No, it's not a latrine. It's a grave! You sent Melman to his grave! Are you happy?
Marty: Aw, come on. This isn't the end. This is a whole new beginning. This could be the best that's happened.
Alex: No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. This is not the best thing that's happened to us!
Melman: You abused the power of the birthday wish and brought bad luck on all of us. Why'd you tell your wish? You're not supposed to do that.
Marty: I didn't want to tell you. Remember? You guys made me tell you.
Alex: Oh, OK.
Marty: Besides, this isn't bad luck. This is good luck. Look around. There's no fences, no schedules. This place is beautiful. Baby, we were born to be here!
Alex: OK. OK. I've had enough of this. This is your side of the island, and this is our side of the island. That is the bad side, where you can jump and prance like a magical pixie horse and do whatever the heck you want. This is the good side for those who love New York and care about going home.
Marty: Come on.
Alex: No, no. Back! Back!
Gloria: You know what? This isn't good.
Marty: OK! You all have your side, and I'll have mine. And if you need me, I'll be over here, on the fun side of the island, having a good old time!
Alex: This is the fun side, where we'll have a great time surviving until we go home.This side's the best. That side stinks! You're on the Jersey side of this cesspool!
Melman: Now what do we do?
Alex: Don't worry, Melman. I have a plan to get us rescued. Can't wait to see the look on Marty's face when he sees this. Just look at him. He's helpless without us. Shut up, Spalding!
Gloria: I've been standing here for hours, man. How long do I have to pose like this?
Alex: She is finito. I defy any rescue boat within a million miles to miss this baby. When the moment is right, we will ignite the beacon of liberty and be rescued from this awful nightmare! What do you think? Pretty cool, huh? How's the liberty fire going, Melman?
Melman: Great. Idiot.
Alex: I heard that.
Melman: Why can't we just borrow some of Marty's fire?
Alex: That's wildfire. We're not using wild fire on the Lady Liberty. Now, rub, Melman.
Melman: I've been doing... I can't. I can't. I can't do it. I ju... I can't do it! Fire. Fire. Fire! Fire! Oh, my... Fire! AAAAHHH!!!
Alex: Not yet! No, no! No!
Gloria: Melman, hold still! Jump! Alex, jump! Don't worry, cats always land on their... Face? Man, what kind of cat are you?
Alex: You maniac! You burned it up! Darn you! Darn you all to heck!
Melman: Can we go to the fun side now?
Maurice: Everybody, calm down. Come on. Into your chairs. Everybody, calm down. Let go of his tail. Separate those two, would you, please? You here, you there. Everyone... Calm down, people, OK? Now, presenting your royal highness, the illustrious blah, blah, blah. You know, et cetera, et cetera. Hooray. Let's go.
King Julien: Now, everybody, we all have great curiosity about our guests, the New York giants. Yes, Willie?
Willie: I like them.
Mort: I like them. I liked them first. Before I even met them I liked them.
King Julien:Yes, yes.
Mort: I liked them right away. You hate them compared to how much I like them.
King Julien: Oh, shut up. You're so annoying! Now, for as long as we can remember, we have been attacked and eaten by the dreaded fossa.
Lemur: The fossa! The fossa are attacking!
Lemur: It's a cookbook! It's a cookbook!
King Julien: Please. Maurice. Quiet! Come on, y'all. They're not attacking us this very instant.
King Julien:So my genius plan is this: We will make the New York giants our friends and keep them close. Then, with Mr. Alex protecting us, we will be safe and never have to worry about the dreaded fossa ever again! I thought of that. I thought of that. Yes. Me. I did.
Maurice: Hold on, everybody. Hold on. I'm just thinking now. I mean, does anyone wonder why the fossa were so scared of Mr. Alex? I mean, maybe we should be scared too. What if Mr. Alex is even worse than the foosa? I tell you, that dude just gives me the heebiedabajeebies.
Alex: Maurice, you did not raise your hand. Therefore, your heinous comment will be stricken from the record. Does anyone else have the heebie-jeebies? No? Good. So shut up. When the New York giants wake up, we will make sure that they wake up in paradise. Now, who would like a cookie?
Marty: Yo, Al. Melman and Gloria are over there having a good time. There's room on the fun side for one more.
Marty:Look, I've been thinking. Maybe if you gave this place a chance, I don't know, you might even enjoy yourself.
Alex:Marty, I'm tired. I'm hungry. I just want to go home.
Marty:Could you just give it a chance? Think about it. It really isn't the fun side without you. I know. And then... It's him. Who is it?
Alex: It's the pizza man. Who the heck do you think it is?
Marty: Yes? Can I help you?
Alex: Can I come to the fun side?
Marty: Beg your pardon?
Alex: You know, I've been kind of a jerk. But I've been thinking about what you said, and I'm sorry.
Marty: Welcome to Casa del Wild. Take a load off. Hey, hey, wipe your feet.
Marty: Mi casa is su casa.
Alex: Very impressive.
Marty: Hey, have a drink. It's on the house.
Alex: This is seawater.
Marty: You don't swallow it. It's just temporary till the plumbing's done. Hey, y'all look hungry. How would you like some of nature's goodness?
Gloria: You have food?
Marty: The Fun Side Special, coming up. Seaweed on a stick.
Marty: On a stick. Don't love it till you try it.
Melman: That's unbelievable!
Gloria: So good.
Marty: Well, thanks. It does kind of hit the spot, doesn't it? Well, maybe it could use a little lemon.
Alex: No, it's great. It's really great. Doesn't get any better than this.
Marty: Oh, but it does. Check this out.
Gloria: Wow. Would you look at that.
Alex: It's like billions and billions of helicopters.
Melman: It's a shooting star. Make a wish. Quick!
Alex: Ooh! How about a thick, juicy steak?
Marty: You know what, Alex? I promise you I'm going to find you a steak tomorrow if it kills me.
Alex: Thanks, Marty.
Melman: It is getting late. I guess I'm going to...
Gloria: I think I'm going to hit the sack too. Sweet dreams, everyone.
Marty: Alex. What are you doing?
Alex: Twenty-seven, 28, 29, 30. Thirty black and only 29 white. Looks like you're black with white stripes after all. Dilemma solved. Good night.
King Julien: You see, Maurice, Mr. Alex was grooming his friend. He is clearly a tender, loving thing. How can you have the heebie-jeebies for Mr. Alex? Look at him. He's so cute and plushy.
Maurice: I don't think he was grooming him. Look more like he was tasting him to me.
King Julien: Suit yourself, no matter. I don't care. Soon we will put my excellent plan to action. All we have to do is wait until they are deep in their sleep... [a long pause] How long is this going to take?!
Private: Well, this sucks.
King Julien: Wake up, Mr. Alex. Wake up, Mr. Alex. Rise and shining. Wakey-waking, Mr. Alex! Wake up! Alex! You suck your thumb?
Animals:Where are we? What the heck is going on? Where's the beach? Take it easy. Who built a forest?
King Julien:Don't be alarmed, giant freaks! While you were asleep, we simply took you to our little corner of heaven. Welcome to Madagascar.
King Julien: No, not whooha. Ascar.
Marty:It's just like my mural back at the zoo.
Gloria:Oh, no, fella, that is the real deal right there.
King Julien:Look at that, that's not a bad view.
Alex:That's the thing that you were always looking at, but it's actually there. That's the real version of...
Marty:How about once around the park? Let's get our blood pumping, lungs breathing fresh air. Who's with me?!
Alex:Naw. I don't think I could... You're it!
Marty:Hey! Want to play around?
Alex:OK, Marty, I'm it. I'm it. I'm it. You win.
Marty: Come on, Alex, get in the groove.
Alex:I haven't eaten in two days. My blood sugar's real low. I just don't have the energy.
Marty: I don't think that's your problem. First of all, that's not how you run in the wild. Let's go. Put the rubber to the road! You have to let out that inner lion. Now, who's the cat?
Alex: Marty, I really don't...
Marty: You are, that's who. Come on! Here we go! That's it. Let's build up some steam! You the cat. You the cat. You the cat.
Alex: Who's the cat? Who's the cat? Who's the cat? Who's the cat? Who's the cat? Who's the cat? Who's the cat? Who's the cat? Who's the cat? Who's the cat? I'm the cat! Surprise! You're it. You're it! Can't juke the cat. Cat's too quick. I feel like a mile-high pastrami on rye on the fly from the deli in the sky! Let's go wild!
Marty: Now you're talking! Man! I feel different. Noogie, noogie, noogie. Noogie, noogie, noogie! Kind of charged up or something. - Like you said, baby, it's... - Crackalacking. - Ain't that right, Melman? - Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm in heaven.
King Julien: You see, Maurice, Alex is now our friend and the foosas are nowhere to be seen. It could be said that my plan is working in a very good working kind of way.
Marty: Alex. You got to try some of this.
Alex: I feel good. Feel like a king again!
King Julien: King?
Marty: You should see his act. Come on, Alex, why don't you show him some of your act.
Alex: Oh. No, I really don't think I could... OK.
Marty:Ladies and gentlemen, primates of all ages. the wild proudly presents: The king.Alex the lion! E flat, fellas. Yeah! The king is in the house!
King Julien: See, if he is the king, then where is his crown? I've got a crown. Got a very nice one. And it's here on my head. Look at it. Have I got it on?
Marty: Do the roar, man. Do the roar. Wow. I've never heard that one before. Yeah! Go wild, man! Come on! Break out the wave! Excuse me. You're biting my butt!
Alex: No, I'm not.
Marty:Yes, you are.
Gloria: Alex, what did you do?
Marty:You just bit me in the butt!
Alex: No. I didn't. Did I?
Melman:You kind of did.
Marty:He just bit me on the butt. What the heck is wrong with you? Why'd you bite me?
Maurice: Man, it's because you are his dinner.
Melman: That's dumb.
King Julien: Come, come, Maurice. What is a simple bite on the buttocks amongst friends? Here, give me a nibble.
Maurice:[pushing him away]The party is over, Julien. Your brilliant plan has failed.
Marty: What are you talking about?
Maurice: Your friend here is what we call a deluxe-model hunting and eating machine. And he eats steak... which is you.
Gloria:[O.S] Get out of here.
King Julien: Okey-dokey, Maurice, I admit it. The plan failed. All is lost! We're all doomed! The fossas will come back and gobble us with their mouths because... we are all steak.
Mort: I'm steak! Me, me, me!
Maurice: Mr. Alex cannot stay here. He belongs with his own kind on the fossa side of the island.
King Julien: By the power vested in me, by the law of the jungle, blah, blah, blah, blah... Be gone!
Marty: What? Come on, do I look like a steak to you?
Marty: See, I told you I don't look like a... Wait, wait, ...What did you say?
Alex: Oh, yeah!
[The lemus and the zoo animals get scared]
Mort: He's going savage!
King Julien: Run for your lives!
[everyone ran away.]
Gloria: Marty, run!
King Julien: A bullseye. Excellent shot, Maurice.
Maurice: Thank you.
Alex: Marty? I'm so sorry, Marty. What is wrong with me? Ow. Oh, no. What have I done? It's true. I'm a monster. I got to get out of here.
Marty: What have I done? This is a nightmare! And it's all my fault. Now, because of me, we've lost Alex.
Melman: Well, what are we going to do?
Gloria:We'll find a way to help him. That's what we'll do. OK. Come on, we are New Yorkers, right? We're tough. We're gritty. We're adaptable! We are not going to lay down like a bunch of Melmans!
Melman: No, we're not. Oh. Gloria.
Gloria: That was not me, OK? That was the boat. The boat!
Marty: The boat? The boat's come back for us! Come on, guys, we got to flag it down.
There it is! - Hey, over here! - Over here! Over here! Yo! Melman, give me a lift. Hurry up! Lift me up! Help! Help! Help! - Oh, my neck. My neck. You guys. - Over here! - Melman! Steady. This way! - You have no idea how much this hurts. Hey, boat! We're over here!
Gloria:Look! It's turning! It's coming back!
Marty: You guys flag down that boat.I'll get Alex.
Gloria: Whoa! Hold on there.You cannot go back there by yourself.
Marty: Aw, come on. I know Alex. He hears we're rescued, he'll snap right out of it.
Melman: The people are coming. They can help us.
Gloria:Melman's right. The people will know what to do. Now, we got to flag down that boat.
Skipper: Now, this is more like it.
Gloria: You?! Oh, ma... Where are the people?
Skipper: We killed them and ate their livers. [Gloria looks shocked] Got you, didn't I? Just kidding, doll, the people are fine. They're on a slow lifeboat to China. Hey, I know you two. Where's that psychotic lion and our monochromatic friend?
Melman: Marty? He's right...[the realized Marty was gone] Where did he go? He was right behind us.
Gloria: (groans) He went back for Alex. He's going to get himself killed!
Skipper: Well, boys, our monochromatic friend's in danger. Looks like we have a job to do. Captain's log: Embarking into hostile environment. Kowalski. We'll need to win hearts and the minds of the natives. Rico. We'll need tactical equipment. We're going to face extreme peril. Private probably won't survive.
Marty: Alex! Come out, Alex! The boat's here! We can go home! Alex!
Marty:Snap out of it, Alex. The boat came back. We can get out of here. We can go back to civilization, and everything will be like it used to be.
Alex:Stay back. Please. I'm a monster.
Marty:Alex, you're no monster. You're my friend. We're a team. You and me, remember?
Alex: I don't want to hurt you.
Marty: Alex. I ain't leaving without you. Alex? I'm thinking of a song. It's a wonderful song. I'm sure you're familiar with it. Start spreadin' the news I'm leaving today We are a great big part of it Come on, you know the words. Two little words. Please don't make me sing this by myself. You really don't want to hear me sing this by myself.
[The fossa appeared from above the rocks]
Marty:Uh, Alex? Could you come out here for a minute? Hey, Alex, a little help. Help me! Alex! Help! Help me! Anybody, help me! Somebody! Help! Melman?
Melman: That's right, baby.
Marty: What's the plan? - This is. - Fossa hungry. - Fossa eat.
Marty: This is the plan?
Skipper: Fossa halt.
Foosas: Fossa ooh. Foosa aaahh. Foosa ooh. Foosa aaahh.
Private:Come and get it!
Foosa. - Take that. - Fossa ow!
Private:There's too many of them, Skipper.
Skipper: It's been a real pleasure serving with you boys.
Alex: That's my kill! Mine. Alex hungry. Alex eat. It's showtime. Thanks for not giving up on me.
Marty:Man, you almost gave me a heart attack. You can't just come sneak up on me. Just because you're a lion...Let go of me. Let go of me.
Alex:We're getting out of here. Guys, just go with me on this.Like I said, it's showtime. Mine! My kill! They're all mine! It's the king of the beasts! Oh, no! - Don't eat me! - He's big and scary! Fear me! Savagery beyond comprehension! - I am far too young to die! - You're a monster! A monster, I say! - And, you! - Me? Oh, you want some of this? Ooh! You better run for your lives.
Marty: Somebody call a cop!
Melman: He's psychotic!
Alex: This is my territory. Understand? I never, ever want to see you on my turf again. Boo. Yeah! You the cat! Got my boy back!
King Julien: I did it! Give me some love! The plan worked! The plan worked! I'm very clever! I'm the one, baby! Come on. Time to robot! I am very clever king. I am super genius. I am robot king of the monkey things. Compute, compute.
Alex: So, what's for lunch?
Skipper:Close those eyes.
Alex:Why do I have to?
Skipper:Do it. - They're closed. - Tighter. - Yes, sir. - No peeking. - They're closed. Rico. Hai. Open that hatch. Fire in the hole. Now chew. Chew like you mean it. Savor it. - And? - Well? Pretty good, right?
King Julien:There's always Plan B.
Alex:This is better than steak! I love it. I love it!
Skipper:The kitty loves the fishy. Well, I propose a toast. Now, he may be a pain in the butt at times... And trust me, I know. But this cat proved to me without a doubt that his heart is bigger than his stomach. - To Alex. - To Alex! Enough! Stop it! What do you think? Should we head back to New York? I don't know. I mean, this is your dream. You sure you want to leave? I don't care where we are. As long as we're together, it doesn't matter to me. Well, in that case... Yo. Rico. I'll take 300 orders to go. Hai.
King Julien: But before you leave, I have an announcement to make. So shut up, everyone, please. Thank you. After much deep and profound brain things inside my head, I have decided to thank you for bringing peace to our home. And to make you feel good, I'm going to give you this lovely parting gift.
Alex:No, I couldn't. Really, I can't take your crown.
King Julien:That's OK, I've got a bigger crown. It's got a gecko on it. Look at him shake. Go, Stevie, go!
Bye, fuzzbuckets! - Thanks for everything! - So long! - Bye-bye, now. - Arrivederci. - Bye-bye. - Toodle-oo! - See you later, crocodile. Maurice, my arm is tired. Wave it for me. Faster, you naughty little monkey! By the time we get to New York, it'll be the middle of winter. So I was just thinking, why rush? Maybe we could make a few side stops along the way? - Maybe Paris. - You just read my mind. - I was thinking Spain. - Run with the bulls. - What about Fiji? - Canada. Can we? Cheap meds. I wouldn't even mind coming back here sometime. - I could do that. - You could say that again.
Private: Skipper, don't you think we should tell them that the boat's out of gas?
Skipper: Nah. Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.