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==Transcript==
D.J. OVER RADIO: What's up? This is K107, broadcasting on New Year's Eve. Why don't y'all scribble down those New Year's resolutions and dial me up. Tell us those lies you're telling yourself, promises you know you won't keep.
 
  +
What's up? This is K107, broadcasting on New Year's Eve.
   
WOMAN 1: I don't believe in New Year's resolutions. They're stupid. I promise I will not spend....
+
Why don't you all scribble down those New Year's resolutions, dial me up, tell us those lies you're telling yourself-- promises you know you won't keep.
   
  +
I don't believe in New Year's resolutions.
WOMAN 2: No matter what John says ...this year, I'm starting my catering business.
 
   
  +
They're stupid. I promise this year I will not--
WOMAN 3: If I do let Russell come back,
 
I'll whip something on him so tough....
 
   
  +
No matter what John says, this year I'm starting my catering business.
WOMAN 4: I'm gonna lose 10 pounds
 
and eat right. Fifteen pounds.
 
Okay, 35. I mean it. Thirty-five pounds.
 
   
  +
And if I do ever let Russell come back, I'm gonna whip something on him so tough.
MAN: Do you know
 
  +
where you wanna be tonight?
 
  +
I'm gonna lose 10 pounds and eat right.
And where do you wanna be next year?
 
  +
Think about it. Because we're getting
 
  +
Fifteen pounds. Okay, 35.
close to that final hour.
 
  +
So if you haven't finished
 
  +
Thirty-five pounds.
those resolutions...
 
  +
...you'd better jump it
 
  +
**
before it's too late. I've made mine.
 
  +
How about you?
 
  +
Do you know where you want to be tonight... and where you want to be next year?
This is brand-new from
 
  +
the beautiful Chante Moore, "Wey U."
 
  +
Think about it. 'Cause we're getting close to that final hour.
K107. check it out.
 
  +
  +
So if you haven't finished those New Year's resolutions, you better jump on it before it's too late.
  +
  +
I've made mine. How about you?
  +
  +
This is brand-new from the beautiful Chanté Moore.
  +
  +
"Wey U." K107. Check it out.
  +
  +
**
  +
  +
The deal is, the men in Denver are dead.
   
SAVANNAH: The deal is,
 
the men in Denver are dead.
 
 
No wonder I'm changing towns again.
 
No wonder I'm changing towns again.
It's gotta be better in Phoenix.
 
   
  +
It's got to be better in Phoenix.
BERNADINE:
 
  +
I gotta pick up the babysitter...
 
  +
**
...pick up my gown,
 
  +
stop and get John's tux.
 
  +
I gotta pick up the babysitter, pick up my gown, stop and get John's tux.
I'd clone myself,
 
  +
but I wouldn't have time for the surgery.
 
  +
Ooh, I'd clone myself, but I wouldn't have time for the surgery.
  +
  +
I don't know why I always pick the wrong men to fall in love with.
  +
  +
My weakness is pretty boys with big sticks.
   
ROBIN: I don't know why I always pick
+
I don't know why Tarik has to spend New Year's Eve with his homeys.
the wrong men to fall in love with.
 
My weakness is pretty boys
 
with big sticks.
 
   
GLORIA: I don't know why Tarik has to
 
spend New Year's Eve with his homeys.
 
 
He sees them every day.
 
He sees them every day.
Plus, there are gonna be
 
all these drunk fools in the streets.
 
He'd have more fun at home with me,
 
watching videos.
 
   
  +
Plus there are gonna be all these drunk fools in the streets.
D.J.: Just want you to know
 
  +
that if you're searching...
 
  +
He'd have more fun at home with me watching videos.
...somewhere, there's a love for you.
 
  +
  +
I just want you to know... that if you're searching, somewhere there's a love for you.
  +
  +
** and I'm geeked up for a blind date that's not even all that.
  +
  +
Just some party this guy's voice invited my answering machine to... when we got worn out playing phone tag.
  +
  +
A long time ago, I asked God to send me a decent man.
  +
  +
I got Robert, Cedric, Darrell and Kenneth.
   
SAVANNAH:
 
Here it is New Year's...
 
...and I'm geeked up for a blind date
 
that's not even all that.
 
Just some party this guy's voice
 
invited my answering machine to...
 
...when got worn out
 
playing phone tag.
 
A long time ago, I asked God
 
to send me a decent man.
 
I got Robert, Cedric,
 
Darrell and kenneth.
 
 
God's got some serious explaining to do.
 
God's got some serious explaining to do.
  +
 
So my prayers got more detailed.
 
So my prayers got more detailed.
  +
 
Like, how about some compassion?
 
Like, how about some compassion?
  +
could he have a sense of purpose?
 
  +
Could he have a sense of purpose?
  +
 
A sense of integrity?
 
A sense of integrity?
  +
could he listen?
 
  +
Could he listen?
  +
 
The truth is, most men are deaf.
 
The truth is, most men are deaf.
  +
They prefer to guess what you need,
 
but they don't guess worth shit.
+
They prefer to guess what you need. But they don't guess worth s***.
  +
 
They lie without a conscience.
 
They lie without a conscience.
what they're best at is convincing us
 
we should feel desperate.
 
Thank God I don't fall for that shit.
 
If I had the nerve,
 
I'd get me some real breasts.
 
   
  +
What they're best at is convincing us we should feel desperate.
[PHONE RINGING]
 
  +
  +
Thank God I don't fall for that s***.
  +
  +
**
  +
  +
If I had the nerve, I'd get me some real breasts.
  +
 
Oh, I know that's gotta be Mama.
 
Oh, I know that's gotta be Mama.
  +
She's the onIy one
 
that knows I'm staying in a hotel.
+
She's the only one knows I'm staying in a hotel.
  +
I Iove you, Ma, but tonight....
 
  +
I love you, Ma, but tonight--
  +
 
I'll call you in the morning, Ma.
 
I'll call you in the morning, Ma.
   
  +
**
BERNADINE: I do not feel like going
 
  +
to another one of these boring affairs.
 
  +
I do not feel like going to another one of these boring affairs.
- Bernie?
 
  +
- Yes?
 
  +
Bernie? Yes?
Would you be terribly disappointed
 
  +
if we didn't go to the party tonight?
 
  +
Would you be terribly disappointed... if we didn't go to the party tonight?
crushed.
 
  +
  +
Crushed.
  +
 
What?
 
What?
  +
I guess there's no appropriate time
 
to tell you this, but...
+
I guess there's no appropriate time to tell you this, but...
  +
...I'm going to the party,
 
just not with you.
+
I'm going to the party, just not with you.
  +
- She--
 
- She?
+
She-- She?
  +
 
Yes.
 
Yes.
  +
She doesn't wanna be alone tonight,
 
and I was thinking, "Why should she be?"
+
She doesn't want to be alone tonight, and I was thinking, "Why should she be?"
  +
It's that bitch
 
who keeps your books, isn't it?
+
It's that b***h who keeps your books, isn't it?
  +
And you picked tonight
 
to flaunt your whore...
+
And you picked tonight to flaunt your whore... in front of all your business partners and your friends.
  +
...in front of all your business partners
 
  +
What the hell are they supposed to think, John?
and your friends.
 
  +
- What are they supposed to think, John?
 
- The truth.
+
The truth.
  +
 
Finally, the truth.
 
Finally, the truth.
  +
 
I'm leaving you for her.
 
I'm leaving you for her.
   
MAN OVER RADIO: This is a test
+
This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System.
  +
of the Emergency Broadcast System.
 
This is only a test.
+
This is only a test. Don't worry.
  +
Don't worry...
 
...you can have the house,
+
You can have the house.
  +
and you know I'll take care of my kids--
 
  +
And you know I'll take care of my kids.
  +
 
You wait a minute.
 
You wait a minute.
  +
I give you 11 fucking years of my life...
 
  +
I give you 11 f***in' years of my life, and you're telling me that you're leaving me for a white woman?
...and you're Ieaving me
 
  +
for a white woman?
 
 
Would it be better if she were black?
 
Would it be better if she were black?
  +
No, it'd be better if you were black!
 
  +
No. It'd be better if you were black.
Thank you, Bernadine...
 
  +
...for making this easier for me.
 
  +
Thank you, Bernadine, for making this easier... for me.
  +
 
I'll be back next week for my things.
 
I'll be back next week for my things.
   
  +
[ Emergency Tone Continues, Stops ]
MAN: This concludes this test
 
  +
of the Emergency Broadcast System.
 
  +
This concludes this test of the Emergency Broadcast System.
D.J.: Allright, time to get
 
  +
your groove on. All night long.
 
  +
All right.
I don't believe
 
  +
I'm spending New year's Eve by myself.
 
  +
Time to get your groove on. "All Night Long."
This is definitely a first.
 
  +
  +
I don't believe I'm spending New Year's Eve by myself.
  +
  +
Now, this is definitely a first.
  +
 
Finally gave up on Russell.
 
Finally gave up on Russell.
  +
A lying, sneaky, whorish Pisces!
 
  +
A lyin', sneaky, whorish Pisces.
[WHIMPERS]
 
  +
 
Russell was so fine.
 
Russell was so fine.
Probably...
 
...every woman in America
 
wanted to be with him...
 
...but you know what, Achey?
 
Oh, I knew he was mine...
 
...till....
 
Till I found that half-slip
 
in his gym bag.
 
   
  +
Probably... every woman in America wanted to be with him.
D.J.:
 
  +
Phone's ringing off the hook tonight...
 
  +
But you know what, Achey?
...from women wondering
 
  +
where all the real men are.
 
  +
Oh, I knew he was mine... till-- till I found that half slip in his gym bag.
So for you fellas out there
 
  +
running the streets...
 
  +
** **
...looking for love
 
  +
in all the wrong places...
 
  +
Phone's ringing off the hook tonight... from women wondering where all the real men are.
...there's something you should know.
 
  +
Love might be waiting
 
  +
So, for all you fellows out there running the streets... looking for love in all the wrong places, there's something you should know.
right there at home.
 
  +
  +
Love might be waiting right there at home.
  +
 
Ma, I wish you were going out tonight.
 
Ma, I wish you were going out tonight.
  +
  +
Hmm.
  +
 
I'm just fine, thank you.
 
I'm just fine, thank you.
  +
you coming in at a decent hour tonight.
 
  +
You're coming in at a decent hour tonight.
It's New year's Eve.
 
  +
Things don't jump off till midnight.
 
  +
Ma, it's New Year's Eve. Things don't start jumping off until midnight.
you should praise God I'm letting
 
  +
you out at all, the grades you get.
 
  +
You ought to be praising God I'm letting you go out at all, the grades you bringing in here.
you best get busy. You're gonna be using
 
  +
Morse code to contact your girlfriends.
 
I'm doing the best I can,
+
You know, you best get busy.
  +
so just ground me.
 
  +
You're gonna be using Morse code to contact them little girlfriends of yours.
Your father's coming on Tuesday.
 
  +
  +
Look, I'm doing the best I can, so just ground me now.
  +
  +
You know your father's coming on Tuesday.
  +
 
And?
 
And?
  +
He's not my father, he's my daddy.
 
  +
First of all, he's not my father. He's my daddy.
There's a big damn difference.
 
  +
Watch your mouth.
 
  +
And there's a big damn difference. Now, you watch your mouth.
I see the bastard every two years.
 
  +
I'm supposed to get excited?
 
  +
Look, I see the bastard once every two years, and I'm supposed to get excited?
  +
 
You get excited.
 
You get excited.
  +
I can't believe this, man.
 
Why she doing this?
+
I can't believe this, man. Why's she doing this?
  +
 
What is that supposed to mean?
 
What is that supposed to mean?
  +
Where'd he sleep
 
the last time he was here?
+
Where'd he sleep the last time he was here?
  +
  +
Oh, man.
  +
 
Ma, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
 
Ma, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
  +
Ma, I'm sorry. Ma, I'm sorry.
 
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
+
Ma, I'm sorry. Ma, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
  +
  +
I'm really-- I'm sorry.
  +
 
That's none of your business.
 
That's none of your business.
  +
 
I'm sorry.
 
I'm sorry.
[BRANDT'S "SITTIN' UP
 
IN My ROOM" PLAyS]
 
   
  +
**
D.J.: This is k107
 
  +
broadcasting live from The Hermosa...
 
  +
This is K107, broadcasting live from the Hermosa.
...and this is where the party's
 
  +
going down.
 
  +
And this is where the party's going down.
Why are you sitting there
 
  +
when you could be in my room?
 
  +
Why are you sitting there when you could be sitting here in my room?
Let Brandy tell you.
 
  +
check it out. k107.
 
  +
Let Brandy tell you. Check it out. K107.
  +
  +
**
  +
  +
* Seems like ever since *
  +
  +
* The first day we met *
  +
  +
* There is no one else *
  +
  +
* I think of more than you *
  +
  +
* Can't seem to forget *
  +
  +
* Can't get you out of my head *
  +
  +
* Guess the verdict's in *
  +
  +
* I'm crazy over you *
  +
  +
* How can one be down? *
  +
  +
* Tell me where to start *
  +
  +
* 'Cause every time you smile *
  +
  +
* I feel tremors in my heart *
  +
  +
**
  +
 
Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?
 
Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?
No. Please join us.
 
   
  +
No. Please, join us.
WOMAN:
 
  +
She has her nerve sitting down here.
 
  +
She has her nerve, sitting down here.
  +
  +
Hell yeah.
  +
  +
I'm single and desperate and have no morals.
  +
  +
And as soon as one of you turns your back, I'm gonna flirt my butt off... and then take your man.
  +
  +
Can't stand women like her.
  +
  +
Please. Mmm.
  +
  +
**
  +
  +
* I'm just a mess with a thing for you *
  +
  +
* Pray that you'll invest *
   
SAVANNAH:
 
Hell, yeah.
 
I'm single and desperate
 
and have no morals...
 
...and when you turn...
 
...I'm gonna flirt my butt off
 
and then take your man.
 
I can't stand a woman like her. PIease.
 
 
Savannah?
 
Savannah?
  +
- Lionel? Hi.
 
  +
Lionel?
- Hi.
 
  +
God, if this man isn't the one,
 
  +
Hi. How are you?
at least let me dance till I sweat.
 
  +
- Would you like to dance?
 
  +
God, if this man isn't the one, at least let me dance till I sweat.
- I'd love to.
 
  +
  +
Would you like to dance? I'd love to.
  +
 
All right.
 
All right.
  +
God, you look so beautifuI tonight.
 
  +
God, you look so beautiful tonight.
- Thanks.
 
  +
- I'm certainIy glad we finally met.
 
  +
Thanks.
You made it here safely, in one piece.
 
  +
Our answering machines
 
  +
I'm certainly glad we finally met.
almost moved in with each other.
 
  +
I'm glad we met too.
 
  +
You made it here safely in one piece.
[THE WHISPER'S "I'M GONNA
 
  +
MAKE YOU MY WIFE" PLAyS]
 
  +
Well, our answering machines almost moved in with each other.
You feel so good.
 
  +
  +
Glad we met too.
  +
  +
**
  +
  +
* I'm gonna make you my wife *
  +
  +
* 'Cause you're my everything *
  +
  +
* All my hopes and dreams *
  +
  +
* Come true *
  +
  +
* I can live my life *
  +
  +
* With you *
  +
  +
Mmm. You feel so good.
  +
  +
* I'm gonna buy you some rings *
  +
 
Thank you, Jesus.
 
Thank you, Jesus.
  +
 
And then I did it.
 
And then I did it.
  +
I closed my eyes...
 
...and I exhaled.
+
I closed my eyes... and I exhaled--
  +
And pretended this man was mine...
 
  +
* What you make me feel * and pretended this man was mine.
...that he was everything
 
  +
I ever dreamed of...
 
...that he was the one
+
That he was everything I ever dreamed of.
  +
  +
That he was the one...
  +
 
I'd been waiting for all my life.
 
I'd been waiting for all my life.
   
WOMAN:
 
 
Lionel.
 
Lionel.
  +
 
Lionel.
 
Lionel.
  +
 
You haven't danced with me all night.
 
You haven't danced with me all night.
  +
Savannah, this is my friend Denise.
 
  +
Uh, Savannah, this is my friend Denise.
If I hurry, I can still catch Dick clark.
 
  +
What's up, Joseph?
 
  +
* Cross my heart and hope to die *
I like them pants.
 
  +
- Thank you, girl.
 
  +
If I hurry, I can still catch Dick Clark.
- Joseph, he show up?
 
  +
You think he didn't?
 
  +
**
come on, honey, you next.
 
  +
Gloria, look at this.
 
  +
What's up, Joseph? I like them pants.
Go on, there.
 
  +
Yes, that's nice, very nice.
 
  +
Well, thank you, girl. Hey, Joseph, did he show up?
- Looks just like in the book.
 
  +
- Gloria, you like this color?
 
  +
Hmm! You think he didn't?
- I charge you 25 cents for each finger.
 
  +
- You're gonna charge me what?
 
Robin, why don't you just
+
Come on, honey, you next.
  +
come out of my shop...
 
  +
Ooh, Gloria, look at this.
...go back to that insurance company
 
  +
you work for.
 
  +
Oh. That's nice. It's very nice.
Because, baby doll,
 
  +
I don't punch in or out.
 
  +
Looks just like in the book too--
- I got it like that. Remember?
 
  +
- Lunch hour is over.
 
  +
Hey, Gloria, do you like this color?
  +
  +
I'm charging you 25 cents for each finger, Robin.
  +
  +
You're gonna charge me what?
  +
  +
Robin, why don't you just come on out of my shop, go back to that little hot-s*** insurance company you working for?
  +
  +
Because, baby doll, I don't punch in or out.
  +
  +
I got it like that. Remember?
  +
  +
Lunch hour is over.
  +
 
So I guess you guys have heard, huh?
 
So I guess you guys have heard, huh?
  +
- What?
 
  +
What?
- Jhon Left Bernie.
 
  +
- What?
 
  +
John left Bernie.
- Uh-huh.
 
  +
And for a white girl.
 
  +
What?
- You Lying.
 
  +
- For a white girl?
 
  +
Mm-hmm. And for a white girl.
Honey, if I'm lying, I'm flying.
 
  +
I saw her just the other night
 
  +
You lyin'. For a white girl?
at the circle K, and she was a mess!
 
  +
  +
Honey, if I'm lyin', I'm flyin'.
  +
  +
I saw her just the other night at the Circle K, and she was a mess!
  +
 
Honey, her hair was in rollers.
 
Honey, her hair was in rollers.
  +
 
She had a funky old bathrobe on.
 
She had a funky old bathrobe on.
- I had to take my girlfriend home.
 
- Joseph, are you serious?
 
- As a heart attack.
 
- Be still...
 
- ...I don't wanna burn your scalp.
 
- Gloria, I toId you he was an asshole.
 
-Excuse her, baby.
 
   
  +
Girl, I had to take my girlfriend home.
ROBIN: Sorry.
 
Watch your mouth in here.
 
537....
 
- Are you calling? Let me talk--
 
- Wait.
 
- Let me taIk.
 
- It's the machine.
 
Bernie, this is Gloria.
 
Honey, you call me at the shop, okay?
 
We wanna know
 
what's going on--
 
How dare that son of a bitch
 
leave you with two kids!
 
- You don't go there up in here.
 
   
  +
Joseph, are you serious?
ROBIN: Joseph...
 
- Go on back to work.
 
- ...I will see you Tuesday.
 
   
  +
As a heart attack.
JOSEPH: Okay, girl.
 
- Oh, my goodness, Miss Monroe.
 
   
  +
Be still, baby. I don't wanna burn your scalp.
GLORIA: Bernie, this is Gloria.
 
Honey, you call me at the shop, okay?
 
we wanna know what's going on--
 
   
  +
Gloria, I told you he was an a**hole.
ROBIN: How dare that son of a bitch
 
leave you with two kids!
 
   
  +
Shh. Excuse her, baby.
SAVANNAH: Hi, Bernie, it's Savannah.
 
  +
I'm here. call me. I'm at the Biltmore.
 
  +
I'm sorry. Watch your mouth in here.
Hey, hey, hey. Hug?
 
  +
Thank you.
 
  +
Five-three-seven-- Are you calling? Let me talk to her.
  +
  +
Wait a minute. Let me talk to Bernie.
  +
  +
It's the machine. Bernie?
  +
  +
This is Gloria. Honey, you call me at the shop, okay?
  +
  +
We wanna know what's going on over there. Now don't--
  +
  +
Bernie, how dare that son of a b***h leave you with two kids!
  +
  +
Will you-- Don't talk that up in here.
  +
  +
Joseph. Go on back to your job.
  +
  +
I will see you on Tuesday.
  +
  +
Okay, girl. Oh, my goodness, Miss Monroe.
  +
  +
  +
  +
Bernie? this is Gloria. Honey, you call me at the shop, okay?
  +
  +
We wanna know what's going on over there. Now don't--
  +
  +
Bernie, how dare that son of a b***h leave you with two kids!
  +
  +
Hi, Bernie. It's Savannah.
  +
  +
I'm here. Call me. I'm at the Biltmore.
  +
  +
[ Machine Clicks, Beeps Twice ]
  +
  +
Hey, hey, hey.
  +
  +
Hug?
   
ONIKA:
 
John, Iet's go!
 
 
Thank you.
 
Thank you.
   
  +
John, let's go! Oh!
GIRLS:
 
  +
  +
John has to kiss his mom first. Thank you.
  +
 
Mama's boy.
 
Mama's boy.
  +
 
Bye.
 
Bye.
   
  +
This motherf***er is psychotic.
BERNADINE:
 
  +
This motherfucker is psychotic.
 
I bet you there's seriaI killers Iess anal.
+
I bet you there's serial killers less anal.
  +
A white woman is probably the onIy one
 
who'll tolerate your smug ass!
+
That white woman is probably the only one who will tolerate your smug ass!
  +
yeah, I was your white woman
 
for 11 years!
+
Yeah, I was your white woman for 11 years!
  +
couldn't have started
 
that damn company without me!
+
Couldn't have started that damn company without me!
  +
Hell, I worked my ass off.
 
  +
Hell, I worked my ass off!
I mean, I got a master's degree
 
  +
in business...
 
...and there I was his secretary,
+
I mean, I got a master's degree in business, and there I was his secretary, his office manager and his computer!
  +
his office manager and his computer!
 
"No, Bernadine, you can't start
+
"No, Bernadine, you can't start your catering business this year!
  +
your catering business this year.
 
 
Why don't you wait a few years, huh?
 
Why don't you wait a few years, huh?
  +
Don't start it right now.
 
Wait one, two, three years...
+
Yeah, don't start it right now. Wait one, two, three years.
  +
...I need you to be the fucking
 
background to my foreground!"
+
I need you to be the f***in' background to my foreground!
  +
[SOBBING]
 
  +
732!
Seven thirty-two! Seven thirty-two!
 
  +
  +
732!
  +
 
The number of times we made love!
 
The number of times we made love!
  +
I remember when that bastard told me
 
he was counting!
+
I remember when that bastard told me he was counting!
  +
 
Right after 51!
 
Right after 51!
  +
I'll show you!
 
Fuck me for not leaving your ass then!
+
I'll show you! F*** me for not leaving your ass then!
  +
But the worst,
 
  +
But the worst-- oh, the f***in' worst-- making my kids go to a school with only two other black children... because you don't want them to be improperly influenced!
oh, the fucking worst...
 
  +
...was sending my kids to school
 
  +
Well, guess what, John. You're the motherf***in' improper influence!
with only two other black kids...
 
  +
...become you don't want them
 
  +
Get your s***-- Get your s***, and get out!
to be improperly influenced!
 
  +
Well, guess what...
 
  +
...you're the motherfucking
 
  +
improper influence!
 
  +
* Since the day that Nanny came to stay with us *
Get your shit-- Get your shit and get out!
 
  +
[DOORBELL CHIMING]
 
  +
**
Ma'am...
 
  +
...were you aware
 
  +
Ma'am.
that your car was on fire?
 
  +
  +
Were you aware that your car was on fire?
  +
 
Yes.
 
Yes.
  +
 
Did you start this fire, ma'am?
 
Did you start this fire, ma'am?
  +
It's against the Iaw to burn anything
 
except trash in your own yard.
+
It's against the law to burn anything except trash in your own yard, ma'am.
  +
 
It is trash.
 
It is trash.
  +
 
This is a nice area.
 
This is a nice area.
  +
 
Luckily, a neighbor cared enough.
 
Luckily, a neighbor cared enough.
  +
The next time
 
you wanna burn something....
+
The next time you want to burn something--
  +
 
It won't happen again.
 
It won't happen again.
  +
Michael and I work
 
for the same company.
+
Michael and I work for the same insurance company. Mmm.
  +
He's just been promoted
 
onto my marketing team.
+
He's just been promoted onto my marketing team. **
  +
Michael was no Russell.
 
  +
Michael is no Russell.
I mean, he's not pretty,
 
  +
but he is available.
 
  +
I mean, he's not pretty. But he is available.
Oh....
 
  +
[MICHAEL CHUCKING]
 
  +
Oh!
  +
 
A Kodak moment.
 
A Kodak moment.
  +
ROBIN:
 
 
Michael had to be about a 38D.
 
Michael had to be about a 38D.
My brain was saying, "Put your hands
 
anywhere else but on my body.
 
Then go home. And don't come back,
 
you human submarine sandwich."
 
But you can't say that without
 
hurting his feelings.
 
Go, Robin. Go, Robin.
 
come here, baby.
 
You feel even better
 
than I thought you would.
 
come here.
 
- I got you.
 
- You got me?
 
- I got you.
 
- Whoa!
 
- You all right?
 
- Yeah.
 
- I'm sorry, baby.
 
- It's okay.
 
Hey.
 
   
  +
My brain was saying, "Put your hands anywhere else but on my body.
[MICHAEL CHUCKLING]
 
  +
  +
Then go home. ** [ Michael Singing, Indistinct ]
  +
  +
And don't come back, you human submarine sandwich.
  +
  +
** But you can't say that kind of thing... without hurting someone's feelings.
  +
  +
Oh, go, Robin. Go, Robin.
  +
  +
Come here, baby.
  +
  +
Ooh.
  +
  +
You feel even better than I thought you would.
  +
  +
Come here.
  +
  +
I got you. You got me?
  +
  +
I got you. Whoo!
  +
  +
Ooh! Ooh! You all right?
  +
  +
Yeah. I'm sorry, baby.
  +
  +
It's okay.
  +
  +
Hey!
  +
  +
Ooh!
  +
  +
Ahh!
  +
  +
Yeah.
  +
  +
All right. All right.
   
Yeah. All right. All right.
 
Here I come. Here I come.
 
 
Here I come.
 
Here I come.
  +
Alrighty, then.
 
  +
Here I come.
  +
  +
Here I come.
  +
  +
All righty then.
  +
 
Somebody's gotta undress me.
 
Somebody's gotta undress me.
  +
Ooh....
 
  +
Ooh.
At dinner he told me he drag races,
 
  +
scuba-dives, deep-sea fishes...
 
  +
At dinner he told me he drag races, scuba dives, deep-sea fishes and keeps his own boat in the White Mountains.
...and a boat speek
 
  +
in the white Mountains.
 
I told him I grew up an Army brat.
+
I told him I grew up an army brat.
  +
That I went to ASU,
 
and I majored in anthropology.
+
That I went to A.S.U. and I majored in anthropology.
  +
I knew you were gonna be beautiful
 
all over.
+
I knew you were gonna be beautiful all over.
  +
- Ah-ah-ah
 
- What?
+
Uh, uh, uh! What?
  +
 
Here you go.
 
Here you go.
  +
 
All right.
 
All right.
  +
- You need some help?
 
  +
You need some help? No.
- No.
 
  +
 
No.
 
No.
  +
 
There.
 
There.
  +
 
There.
 
There.
Damn, I didn't even get a chance
 
to see what he had to offer.
 
Oh.... Oh, yeah.
 
Oh.... yes. yes.
 
Oh, shit. Oh, shit. God.
 
The shit is good, huh?
 
Shit is good.
 
What's my name? Say my name.
 
- What's my name? What's my name?
 
- Michael?
 
- What's my name?
 
- Michael?
 
Yeah! Oh, shit. Oh, this is good.
 
Yeah, it's good. It's good.
 
Yeah!
 
- I love it when you call me Big Papa
 
- Big Papa. Yeah.
 
Papa coming!
 
   
  +
Damn!
[SCREAMING]
 
Ooh.... Pow!
 
Does he think
 
he just did something here?
 
Shit. I could've had a v8.
 
Oh, I knew you were gonna be
 
somebody special.
 
   
  +
I didn't even get a chance to see what he had to offer.
[MICHAEL CHUCKLING]
 
  +
  +
Oh, yeah.
  +
  +
Oh! Yeah. Yes. Yes.
  +
  +
Ooh, s***. Oh, s***. God!
  +
  +
S*** is good, huh? S*** is good.
  +
  +
Oh, it's good. What's my name? Say my name. Say my name. What's my name?
  +
  +
What's my name? Michael.
  +
  +
What's my name? Michael!
  +
  +
Yeah! Uh! Oh, s***. Oh, this is good.
  +
  +
Yeah. Yeah, it's good. Yeah.
  +
  +
Ooh, it's good. Ooh, yeah. Ooh!
  +
  +
Ooh! * I love it when you call me Big Poppa *
  +
  +
Ah! Ooh! Big Poppa.
  +
  +
Yeah. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah.
  +
  +
Oh!
  +
  +
Whew!
  +
  +
Whew!
  +
  +
Pow!
  +
  +
Does he think he just did something here?
  +
  +
S***. I could've had a V8.
  +
  +
Oh! I knew you were gonna be somebody special.
   
 
How do you feel?
 
How do you feel?
  +
 
About what?
 
About what?
  +
 
Me.
 
Me.
  +
This.
 
  +
Uh-- This.
You know, everything.
 
  +
Tell me what you want,
 
  +
You know, uh, everything.
what you need...
 
  +
...beacuse whatever it is,
 
I'm gonna see that you have it.
+
Tell me what you want.
  +
  +
What you need. Because whatever it is, I'm gonna see that you have it.
  +
 
What's your fantasy?
 
What's your fantasy?
  +
 
I mean, what do you want from a man?
 
I mean, what do you want from a man?
  +
 
Everything.
 
Everything.
  +
could you be more specific?
 
  +
Could you be more specific?
I wanna have a house in Scottsdale.
 
  +
I own a house in Scottsdale.
 
  +
I want to have a house... in Scottsdale.
What else?
 
  +
I wanna get married.
 
  +
I own a house... in Scottsdale. What else?
And I wanna have kids. Two...
 
  +
...maybe three.
 
  +
I want to get married.
  +
  +
And I want to have kids. Two.
  +
  +
Maybe three.
  +
 
And?
 
And?
  +
I wanna eat out two,
 
maybe three times a week.
+
I want to eat out... two, maybe three times a week.
  +
I wanna have babies.
 
  +
I want to have babies.
I wanna go away for long weekends.
 
  +
I wanna have a family.
 
  +
I want to go away for long weekends.
I wanna be happy.
 
  +
  +
I want to have a family. I want to be happy.
  +
 
You don't want much.
 
You don't want much.
  +
I could give you that
 
and a whole lot more.
+
I could give you that and a whole lot more.
  +
 
What about you, Michael?
 
What about you, Michael?
  +
 
What do you want?
 
What do you want?
  +
 
Robin, I think I found it.
 
Robin, I think I found it.
  +
you don't even know me.
 
  +
You don't even know me.
  +
 
It's about knowing me.
 
It's about knowing me.
  +
I could give you everything you want,
 
everything you need, if you let me.
+
I could give you everything you want, everything you need... if you let me.
  +
 
You can start by kissing me.
 
You can start by kissing me.
  +
 
No.
 
No.
  +
 
Slowly and gently.
 
Slowly and gently.
And he did it right...
 
...and I felt like silk,
 
and when I looked at him...
 
...I didn't care anymore
 
that he wasn't Mr. Universe.
 
I just felt young...
 
...and sexy...
 
...and beautiful.
 
And when I closed my eyes...
 
...and squeezed my pelvis real tight...
 
...and my body exploded
 
from the inside out...
 
...Michael felt just like the real thing...
 
...and everything was perfect. For once.
 
   
  +
And he did it right.
SAVANNAH:
 
  +
Hey, girl.
 
  +
And I felt like silk.
How you doing? Oh, Bernie.
 
  +
  +
And when I looked at him, I didn't care anymore that he wasn't Mr. Universe.
  +
  +
I just felt young... and sexy, beautiful.
  +
  +
And when I closed my eyes... and squeezed my pelvis real tight, and my body exploded from the inside out, Michael felt just like the real thing.
  +
  +
And everything was perfect-- for once.
  +
  +
Hey, girl. How you doing?
  +
  +
Oh, Bernie.
  +
 
So good to see you, girl.
 
So good to see you, girl.
  +
I been waiting all day for you.
 
  +
I've been waiting all day for you.
  +
 
You okay?
 
You okay?
come on, let's go get a drink.
 
Hey, I bought some toys for the kids.
 
come on.
 
   
  +
Come on. Let's go get a drink, huh?
   
  +
I bought some toys for the kids. Come on.
JOHN, SR. OvER Tv.. Don't drink
 
too much, this stuffis expensive.
 
   
  +
Don't drink too much. This stuff is expensive.
[WOMAN CHUCKLING OVER TV]
 
   
  +
Um--
   
JOHN, SR.: I'djust like to make a toast
+
I'd just like to make a toast to my beautiful wife... on our fifth anniversary. Here you go.
to my beautiful wife.
 
   
  +
Thanks, baby. Glad all you could be here.
BERNADINE: Here you go.
 
  +
- Thanks, baby.
 
  +
So... happy anniversary.
   
JOHN, SR.:
 
 
Happy anniversary.
 
Happy anniversary.
  +
 
Nice house, Bernie.
 
Nice house, Bernie.
  +
At $5.00, you can have it.
 
  +
At five dollars, you can have it.
  +
  +
Remember when we took that?
  +
 
You know what's funny?
 
You know what's funny?
I always thought if I gave him
 
what he needed...
 
...he'd give me what I needed.
 
   
  +
I always thought if I gave him what he needed, he'd give me what I needed.
JOHN, SR.: I love you.
 
  +
  +
I love you. I love you too.
  +
  +
It's amazing what can happen when you give a man control over your life.
  +
  +
I can't even... Let me put it on you. pretend it's all John's fault.
  +
  +
So--
  +
  +
Tell me about this new job.
  +
  +
Go home. Shut that off.
  +
  +
Well, I took a pay cut... to see if I have what it takes to produce.
  +
  +
You know, some of us are still on that dream trip, girl.
   
BERNADINE: I love you too.
 
It's amazing what can happen when
 
you give a man control over your life.
 
I can't even pretend
 
it's all John's fault.
 
So tell me about this new job.
 
Well, I took a pay cut...
 
...to see if I have
 
what it takes to produce.
 
You know, some of us are still
 
on that dream trip, girl.
 
 
Are you scared?
 
Are you scared?
  +
 
Yes.
 
Yes.
  +
 
Me too.
 
Me too.
   
  +
* My love *
[KNOCKING]
 
  +
  +
Okay. * Sweet love *
  +
  +
* For me, there's no one better *
  +
  +
* Cross my heart *
  +
  +
Hi!
   
GLORIA:
 
Okay.
 
Hi.
 
 
Gloria.
 
Gloria.
[GIGGLES]
 
come on in.
 
   
  +
Come on in.
GLORIA: when David was here last time,
 
  +
he did me a favor by spending the night.
 
  +
When David was here last time, he did me a favor by spending the night.
  +
 
Lord, let him be merciful again tonight.
 
Lord, let him be merciful again tonight.
  +
 
Well, have a seat.
 
Well, have a seat.
  +
Well...
 
  +
Well--
...you're looking healthy.
 
  +
  +
You're looking healthy.
  +
 
Thank you.
 
Thank you.
  +
Oh....
 
  +
Oh, well--
So where's Tarik?
 
  +
  +
* I could not love you more *
  +
  +
* 'Cause with you *
  +
  +
* My world *
  +
  +
* Is filled with so much pleasure *
  +
  +
So, where's Tarik?
  +
 
He's not here right now.
 
He's not here right now.
  +
I don't know why
 
I continue to do this.
+
I don't know why I continue to do this.
  +
 
He's almost grown.
 
He's almost grown.
  +
 
Yes, he is.
 
Yes, he is.
  +
- Would you like some wine?
 
  +
Would you like some wine? No.
- Oh, no.
 
  +
- No thanks.
 
  +
No, thanks.
- Sure?
 
  +
Hmm.
 
  +
Sure? Mmm.
  +
  +
* Nothing else matters *
  +
  +
* You're my heart *
  +
 
When exactly are you expecting him?
 
When exactly are you expecting him?
  +
Tomorrow.
 
  +
Mmm! Tomorrow.
  +
 
Wait!
 
Wait!
  +
David...
 
  +
David.
..you know
 
  +
you can always stay here.
 
  +
You know you can always stay here.
- Here?
 
  +
- Yeah.
 
  +
Here?
I thought that maybe we--
 
  +
You know, we could--
 
  +
Yeah. Uh--
Well, like last time.
 
  +
  +
I thought that maybe we-- you know.
  +
  +
We could-- Well, like last time.
  +
 
I should be honest with you.
 
I should be honest with you.
  +
- About what?
 
- About me.
+
About what? About me.
  +
 
What about you?
 
What about you?
  +
Remember how I didn't respond
 
  +
Hmm?
to you last time?
 
  +
Of course. I remember. I....
 
  +
Do you remember how I didn't respond to you last time?
I thought it was
 
  +
because of my weight--
 
  +
Of course I remember. I--
  +
  +
I thought it was because I gained weight and--
  +
 
I have been bisexual for years.
 
I have been bisexual for years.
  +
What? What?
 
you heard me right.
+
What You heard me right.
  +
 
But I'm not anymore. I'm gay.
 
But I'm not anymore. I'm gay.
  +
David...
 
  +
David!
...you don't have to go to this extreme--
 
  +
Look, Gloria,
 
I don't have to lie about this.
+
David, you don't have to go to this extreme just because--
  +
I've lied too long as it is.
 
  +
Look, Gloria, I don't have to lie about this.
  +
  +
I-I've lied too long as it is.
  +
 
I am.
 
I am.
I'm staying at the Biltmore,
 
and if...
 
...he ever wants to see me,
 
he has to make the first move.
 
If I don't hear from him by noon,
 
I'm checking out, and I mean just that.
 
Oh....
 
come on.
 
It's an offer you can't refuse.
 
Oh, Onika, honey,
 
put that one over there too.
 
- Ma, are we just selling Daddy's stuff?
 
- Yes, honey.
 
   
  +
I'm staying at the Biltmore.
WOMAN: Here you go.
 
  +
- Thank you.
 
  +
And if... he ever wants to see me, he has to make the first move.
  +
  +
If I don't hear from him by noon, I'm checking out.
  +
  +
And I mean just that.
  +
  +
Oh--
  +
  +
Come on. It's an offer you can't refuse.
  +
  +
Okay.
  +
  +
Ooh! Onika, honey, put that one over there too.
  +
  +
Ma, are we just selling daddy's stuff? Yes, honey.
  +
  +
Here you go. Thank you.
  +
 
Why come?
 
Why come?
"Why come?"
 
Oh, Onika. "Why?"
 
Why?
 
- Because he asked me.
 
   
  +
Ooh! "Why come?" Oh, Onika.
JOHN, JR.: He did?
 
  +
  +
"Why." Why?
  +
  +
Because he asked me.
  +
 
Yes. It's just collecting dust.
 
Yes. It's just collecting dust.
- Oh bring the wine. Hurry. come on.
 
   
  +
Oh, uh, bring the wine. Hurry. Come on.
ONIKA: I'll get it.
 
- She toId me to get it!
 
- No, she toId me to!
 
- She toId me! Give it to me!
 
- No! Me! Give it--
 
   
  +
I'll get it.
[BOTTLE SHATTERS]
 
  +
  +
She told me to get it! No, she told me to!
  +
  +
She told me! Give it to me! No!
   
JOHN, JR.:
 
 
Oh, man.
 
Oh, man.
  +
 
Look what you did.
 
Look what you did.
[CHUCKLING]
 
   
  +
That's right, sir. Thank you.
SHOPPER: A dollar, right?
 
  +
- That's right, sir. Thank you.
 
 
Enjoy your skis.
 
Enjoy your skis.
  +
[CHUCKLING]
 
  +
Mmm!
I didn't think I'd ever see him again...
 
  +
...but he did call to apologize.
 
  +
**
That's my toothbrush!
 
  +
Is he crazy?
 
  +
* My funny valentine *
Turns out this guy has no real income...
 
  +
...chain-smokes reefer...
 
  +
* Sweet comic valentine *
...brags about being a vegetarian,
 
  +
then inhales three hot dogs...
 
  +
* You make me *
...like it's the last time
 
  +
somebody's gonna buy him a meal.
 
  +
* Smile *
I gave him $20 for gas,
 
  +
which came to $7.18...
 
  +
* With my heart *
...and he didn't give me my change.
 
  +
My fantasy was to get myself
 
  +
**
a little piece.
 
  +
You know, get my feet wet
 
  +
I didn't think I'd ever see him again.
in a new town.
 
  +
well, not exactly my feet.
 
  +
But he did call to apologize.
Hell, it's been five months...
 
  +
...and he has gotten on my last nerve...
 
  +
That's my toothbrush! Is he crazy?
...but...
 
  +
...I don't have to be in love with him
 
  +
Turns out this guy has no real income.
to do it.
 
  +
  +
Chain-smokes reefer.
  +
  +
Brags about being a vegetarian, then inhales three hot dogs... like it's the last time somebody's gonna buy him a meal.
  +
  +
I gave him $20 for gas, which came to $7.18, and he didn't even give me my change.
  +
  +
My fantasy was to get myself a little piece.
  +
  +
You know, get my feet wet in a new town.
  +
  +
Well, not exactly my feet.
  +
  +
Hell, it's been five months.
  +
  +
And he has gotten on my last nerve.
  +
  +
But I don't have to be in love with him to do it.
  +
 
Hell, my body needs this.
 
Hell, my body needs this.
  +
Oh....
 
  +
**
Lionel, baby, we've got all night.
 
  +
You can take your time.
 
  +
* Don't, baby, don't *
  +
  +
* Don't you change your hair for me *
  +
  +
Lionel, baby, um, we've got all night. You can take your time.
  +
 
I'm just so excited.
 
I'm just so excited.
  +
I been thinking about what I'd do to you
 
since New year's.
+
I've been thinking about what I'd do to you since New Year's.
  +
[MOANS]
 
- Hold on, baby. I'm on my way.
+
Hold on, baby. I'm on my way. What?
  +
- What?!
 
  +
"Grr"?
[GROWLS]
 
  +
  +
"Grr," huh?
  +
 
Now I'm a keeper at the damn zoo.
 
Now I'm a keeper at the damn zoo.
   
  +
Kathleen. John, the year-end reports... on the Geary account are right here.
JOHN, SR.:
 
  +
Kathleen.
 
  +
Everyone have a copy? Thank you.
John, the reports on the Geary account
 
  +
are right here.
 
  +
If you examine the profile on the Geary report, you'll find--
Everyone have a copy?
 
Thank you.
 
   
JOHN, SR.: If you examine the profile
 
on the Geary report, you'll find--
 
 
Bernadine, I'm in a meeting here.
 
Bernadine, I'm in a meeting here.
  +
 
If you need something, I suggest--
 
If you need something, I suggest--
  +
WouId you mind terribly
 
if I had a few words with my husband?
+
Would you mind terribly if I had a few words with my husband?
  +
- What the hell are you doing?
 
  +
No-- What the hell are you doing?
- I've been to the bank.
 
  +
Thank you! Thank you for thinking
 
  +
I've been to the bank. Thank you!
of your children!
 
  +
- Everybody, out.
 
  +
Thank you for thinking of your children!
- Yes, out. Out!
 
  +
You don't come into my office...
 
  +
Everybody out! Yes, out! Out!
...and throw a tantrum because
 
  +
you can't finish what you started!
 
  +
You don't come into my office... and start throwing some tantrum because you can't finish what you started.
  +
 
What am I supposed to do for money?
 
What am I supposed to do for money?
  +
- I gave you the house. Now sell it!
 
  +
I gave you the house. Now sell it!
- I hate you!
 
  +
  +
I hate you!
  +
 
I'm really sorry to hear that, Bernadine.
 
I'm really sorry to hear that, Bernadine.
  +
But I'm not pIaying games
 
with you anymore.
+
But I'm not playing games with you anymore.
  +
Who do you think started
 
this damn company, huh?
+
Who do you think started this damn company, huh?
  +
Let's not start that again.
 
  +
Let's not start that again, all right?
And now you think
 
  +
you can just take the money and run?
 
  +
And now you think you can just take the money and run!
  +
 
Business hasn't been good for years.
 
Business hasn't been good for years.
  +
But don't worry.
 
you'll get what's coming to you.
+
But don't you worry about it. You'll get what's coming to you.
  +
 
Hell, I'm not worried.
 
Hell, I'm not worried.
  +
 
You, on the other hand, should be.
 
You, on the other hand, should be.
  +
 
Okay. Look.
 
Okay. Look.
Let's not let this thing
 
get any uglier than it already has.
 
   
  +
Let's not let this thing get any uglier than it already has.
JOE:
 
  +
Everything all right, Mr. Harris?
 
  +
Is everything all right in here, Mr. Harris?
Fine. Now, I'm willing--
 
  +
I'm more than willing...
 
  +
Fine.
- You here to put me out?
 
  +
- ...to give you $300,000 cash today!
 
  +
Now, I'm willing-- I'm more than willing--
  +
  +
What, you gonna put me out, Joe? to give you $300,000 cash today! You here to put me out?
  +
 
Your children aren't for sale.
 
Your children aren't for sale.
  +
 
One more thing before you go.
 
One more thing before you go.
  +
 
I'm coming for my kids on Saturday.
 
I'm coming for my kids on Saturday.
  +
 
Yeah?
 
Yeah?
And if I hear you had them
 
anywhere near that tramp bitch...
 
...you're gonna regret it
 
for the rest of your life.
 
   
  +
And if I hear you had them anywhere near that tramp b***h, you're gonna regret it for the rest of your life!
GLORIA:
 
  +
  +
**
  +
 
Tarik?
 
Tarik?
  +
 
Get out of my goddamn house!
 
Get out of my goddamn house!
  +
I'm-- I'm sorry.
 
I'm sorry. Ma, I'm so sorry. Ma--
+
I'm-I'm sorry. Get out!
  +
- You was grounded!
 
  +
I'm sorry. Ma, I'm so sorry.
- That's why I invited her over--
 
  +
I'm sick of this!
 
  +
I told you you was grounded. I know.
If your daddy wasn't gay, I swear to God,
 
  +
I'd send your bIack ass straight to him!
 
  +
That's why I invited her over, Ma. I'm sorry.
Shit.
 
  +
You saying my father's a faggot?
 
  +
You know, I'm about sick of this s***!
- I don't like to use that word.
 
  +
- Ma....
 
  +
If your daddy wasn't gay, I swear to God, I'd send your black ass straight to him!
"Faggot," "gat," "homo,"
 
  +
it's all the same.
 
  +
S***.
  +
  +
You saying my father's a fa****?
  +
  +
I don't like to use that word.
  +
  +
Ma.
  +
  +
Fa****, gay, homo-- it's all the same.
  +
 
So my daddy's a queer.
 
So my daddy's a queer.
  +
 
My daddy-- My daddy's a queer.
 
My daddy-- My daddy's a queer.
  +
My daddy's a queer!
 
  +
My daddy's a queer.
  +
 
Yo, my father's a queer!
 
Yo, my father's a queer!
  +
He's a fucking queer!
 
- My father's a fucking queer!
+
He's a f***ing queer! My father's a f***ing queer!
  +
- Stop it! I said, stop it!
 
  +
I said stop it!
One thing's for sure,
 
  +
it ain't running in the family.
 
  +
One thing's for sure. It ain't running in the family. 'Cause, you know--
Because, you know....
 
  +
 
You best watch your mouth.
 
You best watch your mouth.
  +
- I'm sorry.
 
- Sorry? You're sorry?
+
I'm sorry. Sorry? You're sorry?
  +
You're sorry about everything.
 
You're sorry about lying to me,
+
You're sorry about everything, aren't you, Tarik?
  +
sorry about your grades...
 
...sorry about letting some girl in here
+
You're sorry about lying to me! You're sorry about your grades!
  +
to suck on your little 17-year-old dick!
 
  +
Sorry about letting some little girl in here to suck on your little 17-year-old dick!
How can I trust you in Spain
 
  +
if I can't trust you here? Huh?
 
  +
How can I trust you in Spain if I can't trust you here, huh?
- Get out of my face.
 
  +
- Just let me--
 
You'd better get out of my face.
+
You just get out of my face.
  +
This is something we should focus
 
  +
Ma, will you just let me-- You better get out of my face.
our attention on this quarter.
 
  +
This account comes up for renewal
 
  +
Now, this is something we should definitely focus our attention on this quarter.
June 1.
 
  +
The worker's comp premium
 
  +
This account comes up for renewal June 1.
is about 1.5 million.
 
  +
The loss experience has been excellent.
 
  +
The workers' comp premium is about a million and a half, and the loss experience has been excellent.
  +
 
What does the engineering report show?
 
What does the engineering report show?
  +
 
It shows an active safety environment.
 
It shows an active safety environment.
  +
Actually, I found a discrepancy
 
in the report.
+
Well, actually, I, uh, found a discrepancy in the report.
  +
Now, if everyone couId turn to page 20,
 
  +
Oh, really? Hmm.
we can look at the graph.
 
  +
If you'll excuse me.
 
  +
Now, if everyone could turn to page 20, we can look at the graph.
So you wanna do your job?
 
  +
well, you will never get
 
  +
Page 20. If you'll excuse me.
another whiff of this.
 
  +
  +
So you want to do your job?
  +
  +
Well, you will never get another whiff of this.
  +
 
Yes?
 
Yes?
  +
It appears that everything he's purchased
 
  +
So it appears that everything he's purchased... in the last 10 years is in his name only-- including the business.
in the last 10 years...
 
  +
...is in his name only,
 
including the business.
 
 
Look, I'm not trying to get rich here.
 
Look, I'm not trying to get rich here.
  +
But I wanna be able
 
to pay my mortgage...
+
But I want to be able to pay my mortgage... and take care of my children.
  +
...and take care of my children.
 
 
Their education.
 
Their education.
  +
I just wanna be okay.
 
  +
I just want to be okay.
  +
 
All right?
 
All right?
Look, I'm not gonna lie to you.
 
We're in for a fight.
 
But I promise you I will do my best.
 
   
  +
Look. I'm not gonna lie to you. We're in for a fight.
GLORIA: This is your stupidest move yet.
 
  +
Just because you're upset--
 
I love you, Gloria, but I won't
+
But I promise you, I will do my best.
  +
debate this. I'm not here for a lecture.
 
  +
Bernie, this is the stupidest move you've made yet.
I've done your hair for 11 years.
 
  +
One ignorant move by your husband,
 
  +
Just because you're upset with your husband-- I love you, Gloria, but I'm not gonna debate this with you.
you chop it all off?
 
  +
- Yes. come on. Do it.
 
- I'm not doing this.
+
I'm not here for a lecture. But I've been doing your hair for 11 years.
  +
What is the fucking big deal?
 
  +
One ignorant move by your husband, you gonna come in and chop off all of your hair?
Just cut it, Gloria!
 
  +
You'll feeI stupid tomorrow
 
  +
Now come on, Gloria. Do it. I'm not doing this.
and be mad at me!
 
  +
You don't wanna cut this fucking shit
 
  +
What is the f***in' big deal? Just cut it, Gloria! No, I'm not!
off my head, I'll do it my goddamn self!
 
  +
  +
You gonna wake up tomorrow feelin' stupid-- All right! F***kin' fine!
  +
  +
You don't wanna cut this f***in' s*** off my head, I'll do it my god**** self!
  +
 
Fine. Fine.
 
Fine. Fine.
You want me to cut it, I'll cut it.
 
How short do you want it?
 
You want it shorter than mine?
 
And I can aIways use a razor too.
 
I can't believe you.
 
Eleven years of growing your hair out
 
and look.
 
Fine.
 
   
  +
You want me to cut it, I'll cut it. How short do you want it, huh?
SAVANNAH:
 
  +
It's still early yet, girl.
 
  +
You want it shorter than mine or short as mine?
Hello, stranger.
 
  +
HERBERT:
 
  +
You know, I can always use a razor too. I can't believe you.
Bernadine, how are you?
 
  +
Wonderful. Thank you.
 
  +
Eleven years of growing your hair out, and look at what you doing.
Shoot, I could be home
 
  +
watching "Good Times".
 
  +
Mm-hmm. Thank you. Fine.
Give me some?
 
  +
  +
**
  +
  +
I don't know why they call this mess "happy hour."
  +
  +
Well, it's still early yet, girl.
  +
  +
Oh, sweetie, that's not it.
  +
  +
Is this your first time hanging out?
  +
  +
I hate to be the one to break it to you, but... this is as good as it gets.
  +
  +
Mmm.
  +
  +
I feel like dancing.
  +
  +
All right, girl. Don't hurt yourself or nobody else.
  +
  +
Mmm! You go, girl!
  +
  +
How you like that new haircut?
  +
  +
I don't like it. I don't either.
  +
  +
I like it. You like it? Yeah, it look all right.
  +
  +
It's nice. It's sharp on her.
  +
  +
Hello, stranger. Bernadine, how are you?
  +
  +
Wonderful, thank you.
  +
  +
Ooh, that's Herbert Webster.
  +
  +
Used to be a pro football player.
  +
  +
Now he's a newscaster or a sports agent.
  +
  +
And fine as hell.
  +
  +
And if she don't want him? Mmm! I'll slam-dunk him tonight.
  +
  +
He's also very married.
  +
  +
And?
  +
  +
She's only dancing with him, y'all. Damn.
  +
  +
Are you blind? Look at her.
  +
  +
Mm-mmm. She flirtin' with that man.
  +
  +
Mmm!
  +
  +
Shoot, I could be home watching Good Times.
  +
  +
Why aren't you deadbeats out here dancing?
  +
  +
Now, you can drink and talk at home. Girl, you're too hot for me.
  +
  +
You better watch out for that man.
  +
  +
Who Oh, he's harmless.
  +
  +
Besides, if his wife's at home, he better watch out for me.
  +
  +
Ooh! Give me some.
  +
  +
Ooh! You're bad.
  +
  +
Well, I guess that means he's available.
  +
  +
You know you wanna dance.
  +
  +
Why, thank you. Yeah.
  +
  +
* Baby, baby *
  +
  +
Oh, I don't even believe this s***.
  +
  +
Uh-oh. What's the deal?
  +
  +
Who is it this time? What's going on?
  +
  +
I mean, it's only been a week since I fired him, and he was talking marriage.
  +
  +
Well, don't forget you dropped him.
  +
  +
And please don't embarrass yourself. And please don't embarrass us.
  +
  +
Please.
  +
  +
Oh, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.
  +
  +
Little fat f***.
  +
  +
Robin, did you see Michael?
  +
  +
Oh, she saw him.
  +
  +
Michael who?
  +
  +
* Just the other day *
  +
  +
* And your own sister told me *
  +
  +
* Someone was taking my place **
  +
  +
I've only known Troy for three days, but already I feel close to him.
  +
  +
I wish he didn't smoke, but I can live with one bad habit.
  +
  +
Yeah, he's real cool people.
  +
  +
He's a lawyer, but he's down to earth. You'll like him.
  +
  +
Mmm. **
  +
  +
**
  +
  +
Oh, oh, oh, oh. Whoo! Whoo!
  +
  +
Oh, s***!
  +
  +
Oh! My favorite Caucasian, Wild Bill! Troy.
  +
  +
The good stuff is here.
  +
  +
Oh, man. Check out my honey, huh? Mmm.
  +
  +
Bill, Robin. Robin, Bill.
  +
  +
Hey, would you like some wine?
  +
  +
No. I don't think we have time.
  +
  +
You just got here. Oh, come on, woman, we got time for a glass of wine.
  +
  +
Go and relax yourself.
  +
  +
* Make a brother moan No need to stop, baby That s*** turns me on *
  +
  +
Stop!
  +
  +
Whoo! Ha! Don't let the smooth taste fool you!
  +
  +
* That s*** turn you on? *
  +
  +
* That s*** turns me on *
  +
  +
* That s*** turns me on * * That s*** turn you on? *
  +
  +
**
  +
  +
* That s*** turn you on? *
  +
  +
* That s*** turns me on *
  +
  +
**
  +
  +
Excuse me.
  +
  +
* You can be my sonic and, baby, I'll be your boom *
  +
  +
* Just a little bump and a grind That's fine *
  +
  +
**
  +
  +
* It's better when it's me and you doing the double do *
  +
  +
* So, uh, forget the problems-- *
  +
  +
* Hoochie-coochie mama 'Cause that s*** turns me on *
  +
  +
Might as well be with Russell if I'm gonna deal with this s***.
  +
  +
Baby! Got that wine.
  +
  +
Troy, I'm ready to go.
  +
  +
Come on, woman, these are my-- No! I'm ready to go now.
  +
  +
Oh, that s*** turns me on.
  +
  +
* That s*** turns me on Yeah, yeah **
  +
  +
Hey, Vannah, this is Mike.
  +
  +
I got a few questions on the Colin Powell episode.
  +
  +
Ring me at extension 455.
  +
  +
Miss Jackson, this is Doreen.
  +
  +
I've got a few messages for you at the front desk, along with a FedEx package. Thank you.
  +
  +
Savannah, this is Kenneth.
  +
  +
Hope you haven't forgotten me.
  +
  +
I'll be out your way next month for a medical conference.
  +
  +
It would mean a lot to me to see you.
  +
  +
Hope you're well.
  +
  +
Bye now.
  +
  +
God, I used to crave this man.
  +
  +
He treated me like a lady.
  +
  +
And once you get used to being treated well, you can't go back to bulls***.
  +
  +
No mystery how he got my number.
  +
  +
Hello?
  +
  +
Hi, Mama. How you doing?
  +
  +
Well, since you ask, my hair ain't been dyed in so long, my roots are green.
  +
  +
Mama, why did you give Kenneth my number?
  +
  +
'Cause he asked for it. Why? Is he coming out there or something?
  +
  +
You tell me. Girl, he gonna be out there on the 26th.
  +
  +
Ain't you excited? Mama, the man is married.
  +
  +
Well, how happy can he be if he went out of his way to find me to get to you?
  +
  +
Mama, please.
  +
  +
Please my behind, girl.
  +
  +
I'll be so glad when you get up off that high horse.
  +
  +
And stop trying to act like you don't need nothing or nobody.
  +
  +
Every woman needs a man. And you ain't no exception.
  +
  +
Mama, I love you, and I'll talk to you soon. Good-bye.
  +
  +
I won't squeeze him back when he hugs me.
  +
  +
I will not look him in the eyes.
  +
  +
And I'm definitely not gonna give him any.
  +
  +
Hey. Hey. Hey. See? Told you about all that.
  +
  +
Ol' feisty thing.
  +
  +
See, you making too much about all this. It ain't even about nothin'.
  +
  +
Girl, am I gonna have to whip it out and tame you?
  +
  +
Am I gonna have to tame you?
  +
  +
Hey, you feel that? See how hard that is?
  +
  +
You did that, girl. It's got your name on it.
  +
  +
Troy, you know what? I think we should cool out for a while.
  +
  +
This is not working.
  +
  +
Well, you know, this comes at sort of a bad time.
  +
  +
And why is that, because you want some tonight?
  +
  +
No, I'm not talking about tonight. I'm talking about Sunday.
  +
  +
My mother wanted me to invite you over for a barbecue.
  +
  +
Oh, you think I'm making all this up 'cause you mad?
  +
  +
You mad Huh?
  +
  +
Well, here. Why don't you call her?
  +
  +
Why don't you call her?
   
 
555-1467.
 
555-1467.
   
  +
Troy, why do you want me to meet your mother?
TROY:
 
  +
Hey, hey you, hey, hey.
 
  +
I have only known you for three days.
Ready, baby?
 
  +
ROBIN:
 
  +
Maybe it's because I feel a little different about you... than you seem to feel about me.
I'm not goin'.
 
  +
Why, not?
 
  +
But I can't help that.
Because, Troy...
 
  +
Oh, I don't think so.
 
Robin? Robin!
+
Robin.
  +
It's lock, Troy.
 
  +
No man ever asked me to meet his mother before.
Maybe's too hot this year.
 
  +
You black bitches are all the same.
 
  +
Maybe he's not into the stuff all that much.
Bitch?
 
  +
Y'all always complaining about how
 
  +
And maybe if we got to know each other better, I might be a good influence on him.
nobody don't want your ass, don't nobody
 
  +
know how to treat ya!
 
  +
**
Then you meet a man, a brother,
 
  +
with genuine interest in ya,
 
  +
He thinks he's gonna get away with it?
and you gotta act simple.
 
  +
Then you wonder why we date white women.
 
  +
I'm not gonna let him get away with it. That's right.
A white woman can have your sorry ass!
 
  +
Don't you throw it out there!
 
  +
You know he has a whole apartment building, 200 acres of farmland in California... and a vineyard right here in Arizona?
You raggedy bitch?
 
  +
I'm not goin'.
 
  +
And did you know they made wine in Arizona? Yeah.
  +
  +
Huh? Well, I didn't. Girl, this mess will get you a week on Sally Jessy.
  +
  +
I'm tellin' you, Glo. This is how women get screwed.
  +
  +
Too lazy to look out for yourself, so you put all your trust in your husbands.
  +
  +
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. But I finally got the answer.
  +
  +
Just never get f***in' married.
  +
  +
Hmm. Lots of us got that answer.
  +
  +
I thought you had the answer to something.
  +
  +
You had the answer to that one, honey, you'd be on the cover... of Cosmo, Newsweek, Psychology Today, Jet, Essence, Ebony!
  +
  +
Don't make me laugh. I'm mad.
  +
  +
Mad magazine!
  +
  +
**
  +
  +
And they're off, in the first race of the ostrich festival!
  +
  +
And it's Swift Kicker in the blue takes the lead.
  +
  +
Bern, if I ask you something, will you promise you won't get mad?
  +
  +
What is it?
  +
  +
You been messing around with Herbert?
  +
  +
Swift Kicker and Exactly, and it's Swift Kicker by a nose!
  +
  +
Bernie!
  +
  +
I spent one evening with him.
  +
  +
Look, I didn't want to marry him. I just--
  +
  +
I-I wanted to, you know--
  +
  +
I needed to get laid, so I did.
  +
  +
Now how you gonna say something like that?
  +
  +
Easy. Men been doing this s*** for years.
  +
  +
Hmm.
  +
  +
I'm telling you, it was like watchin' paint dry.
  +
  +
Girl, now he callin' and pagin' me all hours of the day and night.
  +
  +
Showed up at my house unannounced.
  +
  +
My child answers the door. Now, you know that freaked me out.
  +
  +
Uh-huh.
  +
  +
I don't know what he's thinking. Mmm.
  +
  +
I tap-danced for a man for 11 years.
  +
  +
I'm not about to go out and get me a new owner. Mmm.
  +
  +
Yeah, Bernie, but you know you're wrong.
  +
  +
Now, see, that's why I didn't want to tell you.
  +
  +
I'm not like you, Gloria.
  +
  +
I... need somebody to hold me. Hmm.
  +
  +
Even if it is a damn lie.
  +
  +
Hmm.
  +
  +
Lady Lydia, Fancy Nancy and Patty's Pucker... coming up in that lady llama race.
  +
  +
Don't forget about the arts and craft fair next weekend.
  +
  +
Girl, Russell's been paging me all day, but I'm through with him.
  +
  +
I'm seeing Troy now. Yeah, yeah. But you know what he does, Robin.
  +
  +
He says he only does it sometimes.
  +
  +
Girl, what do you expect him to say? "I'm a crackhead"?
  +
  +
So, you think I shouldn't go to the barbecue?
  +
  +
Robin, let me put it to you this way.
  +
  +
What have you done in three days with this man, besides screw him, that would make knowing you so deep... that now he wants to take you home to meet his mama?
  +
  +
A barbecue? Please, girl.
  +
  +
Yeah. I can't call him though. I put his card in my wallet.
  +
  +
Now I can't seem to find my wallet anywhere.
  +
  +
Oh, that really surprises me, Robin.
  +
  +
Hold on.
  +
  +
Mm-hmm.
  +
  +
Hello?
  +
  +
I been missing you, baby. Since when?
  +
  +
Since I been gone. Want some company? Yes.
  +
  +
I'll see you in 15. Bye, Russell.
  +
  +
Savannah? Yes.
  +
  +
I gotta go. Something I gotta do.
  +
  +
Is it Russell?
  +
  +
No, it's not Russell.
  +
  +
Mm-hmm. I bet.
  +
  +
So what if it is?
  +
  +
Well, enjoy the lowlife while you can, girlfriend.
  +
  +
Good-bye.
  +
  +
That girl is something.
  +
  +
**
  +
  +
* Anytime that you feel the need *
  +
  +
* And I'll be there in a hurry *
  +
  +
Come on, baby.
  +
  +
Troy is such a waste of my time.
  +
  +
Come on now. Come over here.
  +
  +
Russell's the only man I really loved.
  +
  +
Look at him.
  +
  +
What are you acting like you don't wanna come over here?
  +
  +
Damn.
  +
  +
Mmm.
  +
  +
Last time we were together, he wanted to spend the whole night.
  +
  +
And he would have-- except he had to take his mama to church early the next morning.
  +
  +
People change.
  +
  +
And you can't hold a few mistakes against someone for the rest of their life.
  +
  +
**
  +
  +
**
  +
  +
  +
  +
God bless you and your family.
  +
  +
Sister Gloria, you're looking good.
  +
  +
Have a good day now, Deacon. God bless you, sister.
  +
  +
Deacon Scott. God bless you. Take care.
  +
  +
Hi.
  +
  +
Savannah, let's go have breakfast.
  +
  +
Let's go get something.
  +
  +
What? I'll cook. You know I'll cook.
  +
  +
**
  +
  +
* Everything's gonna *
  +
  +
* Be all right *
  +
  +
* Everything's gonna *
  +
  +
* Be all right *
  +
  +
Give me a hug.
  +
  +
Hey, John Jr.--
  +
  +
What's up, Ma? Hey.
  +
  +
Mmm! I missed you.
  +
  +
Enjoy the doll, okay? Bye, Daddy. Thank you.
  +
  +
Bye.
  +
  +
Hi, Mama. Hi, sweetie.
  +
  +
Two days is too long, huh?
  +
  +
Come on. Let's go inside, huh?
  +
  +
**
  +
  +
Whew! S***, it's hot.
  +
  +
Damn.
  +
  +
Hey! Hey! Yoo-hoo!
  +
  +
Robin! Hey!
  +
  +
You ready, baby?
  +
  +
I'm not going.
  +
  +
Why not?
  +
  +
Because, Troy, I don't like this.
  +
  +
Why?
  +
  +
Okay.
  +
  +
All right.
  +
  +
So-So what am I supposed to tell my mother and my son and the rest of my family?
  +
  +
Your son? How old is this son?
  +
  +
He's almost 13. What's your point?
  +
  +
My point is, I don't think we're ready for family reunions yet.
  +
  +
What am I supposed to tell them, Robin?
  +
  +
Tell them whatever you want to.
  +
  +
Oh, so I'm just supposed to accept this?
  +
  +
You don't have a choice. You should have asked me before committing me.
  +
  +
I did ask! No, you told me!
  +
  +
You come here two hours late, and I'm supposed to go with you?
  +
  +
Oh, I don't think so. Robin!
  +
  +
Robin!
  +
  +
It's locked, Troy.
  +
  +
Baby, it's too hot for this s***.
  +
  +
Can you come get the door? No.
  +
  +
Can I use your bathroom? Hell no!
  +
  +
Do you have any idea how many women would love for me... to take them to my house so they can meet my mother?
  +
  +
Oh, I can just about guess.
  +
  +
Man, you black b***hes is all the same.
  +
  +
"B***h"? You complain all the time... about don't nobody want your asses, don't know how to treat ya!
  +
  +
As soon as a man-- a brother-- show you genuine interest, you b***hes act simple.
  +
  +
Then you wonder why we go out with white women.
  +
  +
A white woman can have your sorry ass.
  +
  +
Don't you throw that up here!
  +
  +
You raggedy b***h.
  +
  +
You better be more careful who you pick up in grocery stores next time!
  +
  +
Troy, take your drunk-ass, leather-wearing- in-the-summertime, need-a-shave, stinky-ass home.
  +
  +
I'm not going.
  +
  +
Have a fruit bowl, tramp!
  +
  +
Punk! Forget you!
  +
 
Forget you!
 
Forget you!
Forget you!
 
[YELLS]
 
   
  +
All right. It's like that?
GLORIA: Hi. I'm Gloria Matthews
 
  +
from across the street.
 
  +
It's like that then. Bye.
I was wondering, what do you know
 
  +
about these people moving in here?
 
  +
**
Well, the guy, in my opinion...
 
  +
...seems to be nasty and ignorant...
 
  +
So, Robin, I guess you know who's got your wallet?
- ...and bossy.
 
  +
- Oh....
 
What about his wife?
+
What?
  +
Well, she....
 
  +
You think he stole it?
She died a couple years ago.
 
  +
This is one of the many precious items
 
  +
Robin, I don't believe you. Good-bye.
she bought for him...
 
  +
- ...that I'm making sure don't get broken.
 
  +
I got to hang up.
- That's nice.
 
  +
Why's he trusting you with it?
 
  +
Whew.
  +
  +
  +
  +
Hi. I'm Gloria Matthews from across the street.
  +
  +
I was wondering--
  +
  +
What do you know about these people moving in here?
  +
  +
Well, uh, the guy, in my opinion, seems to be nasty and, uh, ignorant.
  +
  +
And bossy.
  +
  +
Oh. What about his wife?
  +
  +
Well, she-- she died a couple of years ago.
  +
  +
But this is one of the many precious items that she bought for him... that I'm makin' sure don't get broken. Oh, that's nice.
  +
  +
Why is he trusting you with it?
  +
 
Well, I'm Marvin King.
 
Well, I'm Marvin King.
  +
Yeah. Your new neighbor.
 
  +
Yeah. I'm your new neighbor.
- I was just fooling around.
 
  +
- Oh.
 
  +
I was just foolin' around. Oh.
- Nice to meet you, Gloria.
 
  +
- Nice to meet you.
 
  +
Nice to meet you, Gloria.
Well, I'd just like to welcome you
 
  +
and your family to the neighborhood.
 
  +
Nice to meet you. Yeah.
  +
  +
Well, I'd just like to welcome you and your family to the neighborhood.
  +
 
Thank you.
 
Thank you.
[CLEARS THROAT]
 
Unpacking. It could be hard work.
 
   
  +
Unpacking can be hard work.
MARVIN: Yeah, yeah, it certainly is.
 
  +
  +
Yeah. Yeah, it certainly is.
  +
 
I got a lot more to do tomorrow too.
 
I got a lot more to do tomorrow too.
  +
WouId you like to have dinner
 
with us tonight?
+
Would you like to have dinner with us tonight?
  +
 
It's just leftovers.
 
It's just leftovers.
  +
collard greens, corn bread,
 
some candied yams, a little potato salad...
+
Collard greens and corn bread, some candied yams, a little potato salad, fried chicken, peach cobbler, few slices of ham.
  +
...fried chicken, peach cobbler,
 
and a few slices of ham.
 
 
Mmm. Yum-yum.
 
Mmm. Yum-yum.
  +
Yeah, I would love to, Gloria...
 
  +
Yeah, I-I would love to, Gloria, but, uh--
...but I just got too much work
 
  +
to do here.
 
Maybe another time.
+
I just got too much work to do here. Maybe another time.
  +
Well, to be honest, I don't have
 
no business eating it myseIf, big as I am.
+
Yeah. Well, to be honest, I don't have no business eating it myself, big as I am.
  +
Hmm. Yeah, well, my wife
 
  +
Mmm.
was a big woman.
 
  +
I like that. I like a woman with
 
  +
Yeah, well, my wife was a big woman.
a little meat on her bones, you know?
 
  +
Oh....
 
  +
Oh.
Well, I couId send a plate over
 
  +
by my son, Tarik, for you.
 
Great. yeah. I'd appreciate that.
+
I like that.
  +
  +
I like a woman with a little meat on her bones, you know.
  +
  +
Oh.
  +
  +
Well, I could send a plate over by my son Tarik for you.
  +
  +
Great. Yeah. I'd appreciate that.
  +
 
How old's your boy?
 
How old's your boy?
  +
- Seventeen.
 
- Teenager.
+
Seventeen. Teenager.
  +
He's gonna be leaving in June...
 
...I think.
+
He's gonna be leaving in June, I think.
  +
College?
 
  +
Excuse me. What did you ask me?
[EXHALES]
 
  +
Oh, excuse me.
 
  +
I said, uh, Tarik-- Tarik-- he's going to college, huh?
What did you ask me?
 
  +
I said, Tarik....
 
  +
Oh.
Tarik, he's going to college, huh?
 
  +
Oh. Um....
 
He wants to travel around the world
+
Um, he wants to travel around the world... with this organization called Up With People.
  +
with Up With People.
 
- I'm just not sure I--
+
I'm just not sure I-- Yeah. Let him go. He's young.
  +
- Yeah, let him go. He's young.
 
Up With the People.
+
Up with the people.
  +
Yeah. Where's his daddy?
 
  +
Yeah. Uh, where's his daddy?
In california somewhere.
 
  +
Look, Marvin,
 
  +
In California somewhere.
I'll let you get back to your work...
 
  +
...and I'll send that plate right on over.
 
  +
Look, um, Marvin. I'll let you get back to your work.
  +
  +
And, um, I'll send that plate right on over.
  +
 
Thank you. Thanks, Gloria.
 
Thank you. Thanks, Gloria.
  +
- Yeah.
 
- Yeah, nice meeting you.
+
Yeah. Yeah. Nice meetin' ya.
  +
Hope to see you again soon.
 
  +
Hope to see you again real soon.
Oh, God, I hope he's not
 
  +
watching me walk away.
 
  +
Oh, God, I hope he's not watching me walk away.
- All right.
 
  +
- He's watching.
 
  +
All right. He's watching. Oh!
Grant the petitioner $3000 per month...
 
  +
...until we're abIe to review
 
all newly submitted documentation.
+
...grant the petitioner $3,000 per month... until such time as we're fully able to review all newly submitted documentation.
  +
 
Next.
 
Next.
   
LAWYER: This is only round one.
+
This is only round one. Stay strong, Bernadine.
Stay strong, Bernadine. Stay strong.
 
   
  +
Stay strong.
JOHN, SR.: Look, I want this
 
to be over and done with.
 
   
  +
Look. I want this to be over and done with. Handle it.
MAN: Let's take it step by step.
 
  +
  +
Let's just take it step by step.
  +
  +
It's taking a toll on my kids.
  +
  +
You sorry son of a b***h, John. You know the mortgage is 5,000 a month.
  +
  +
How are your children supposed to live, huh?
  +
  +
I told you to settle for the 300,000, but you want to play hardball.
   
JOHN, SR.: It's taking a toll on my kids.
 
You sorry son of a bitch, John.
 
The mortgage is $5000 a month!
 
How are your children
 
supposed to live?
 
I told you to settle for the 300,000,
 
but you wanna play hardball.
 
 
All dogs don't go to heaven, John.
 
All dogs don't go to heaven, John.
  +
You think you can
 
get away with this...
+
You think you can get away with this, huh?
  +
...you lowlife, ass-kissing Uncle Tom.
 
  +
You lowlife ass-kissing Uncle Tom.
You know, this....
 
  +
This Uncle Tom stuff...
 
  +
You know, this--
...it's really becoming a bit redundant,
 
  +
don't you think, Bernadine?
 
  +
This "Uncle Tom" stuff--
  +
  +
It's really becoming a bit redundant, don't you think, Bernadine?
  +
 
Excuse me.
 
Excuse me.
   
  +
**
BERNADINE: Scotch and soda, please.
 
   
BARTENDER: Yes, ma'am.
 
- Here you go.
 
- Thank you.
 
   
  +
JAMES: Excuse me.
 
  +
Scotch and soda, please.
Is anybody sitting here?
 
  +
  +
Yes, ma'am.
  +
  +
Here you go. Thank you.
  +
  +
**
  +
  +
Excuse me. Is anybody sitting here?
  +
 
No. No one's sitting there.
 
No. No one's sitting there.
cognac, please.
 
   
  +
Uh, cognac, please.
BARTENDER:
 
  +
 
Yes, sir.
 
Yes, sir.
  +
My name is James Wheeler.
 
  +
**
How do you do?
 
  +
  +
My name is James Wheeler. How do you do?
  +
 
Your cognac, sir.
 
Your cognac, sir.
  +
 
Thank you.
 
Thank you.
  +
 
So do you have a name?
 
So do you have a name?
  +
 
Bernadine.
 
Bernadine.
  +
 
Bernadine.
 
Bernadine.
  +
My, this is a pretty place.
 
  +
My, this is a... pretty place.
But I have to admit...
 
  +
...I haven't seen anything as splendid
 
as you since I've been here.
+
But I have to admit, I haven't seen anything as splendid as you since I've been here.
  +
Okay, hold on, now.
 
Hold on.
+
Okay. Oh, hold on now. Hold on.
  +
 
You don't have to give me that look.
 
You don't have to give me that look.
  +
Look, I haven't seen the sun
 
  +
Just look.
for four days now.
 
  +
I mean, it's been one meeting
 
  +
I haven't seen the sun for four days now.
after the other after the other...
 
  +
...and now, I'm finished...
 
  +
I mean, it's been one meeting after the other, after the other.
...so I decided to come downstairs,
 
  +
have myseIf a drink...
 
  +
And now I am finished.
...and in the morning...
 
  +
...I look forward to returning home
 
  +
So, I decided to come downstairs, have myself a drink, and in the morning I look forward to returning home... to my lovely wife.
to my lovely wife.
 
  +
Salute.
 
  +
Salud.
So why are you sitting here all alone?
 
  +
Okay. Wait now.
 
  +
So, why are you sitting here all alone?
You don't have to answer that.
 
  +
You don't know me. I mean, you don't
 
  +
Okay. Wait. Hold on now.
know me from a can of paint.
 
  +
I'm all in your Kool-Aid
 
  +
You don't have to answer that. You don't know me.
and don't know the flavor--
 
  +
- I'm getting a divorce, James.
 
  +
You know? I mean, you don't know me from a can of paint.
- Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
 
  +
  +
Here I am, all in your Kool-Aid and don't know the flavor.
  +
  +
I'm getting a divorce, James. Ah. I'm sorry to hear that.
  +
 
Yeah, well, it happens, huh?
 
Yeah, well, it happens, huh?
  +
And, you know,
 
it just occurred to me that...
+
And you know, it just occurred to me that, uh, I've lost something that once meant everything, and it hurts.
  +
...I've lost something
 
  +
And right now, I'm just-- I'm really p***ed about it.
that once meant everything...
 
  +
...and it hurts...
 
  +
Mm-hmm.
...and right now, I'm just--
 
  +
I'm really pissed about it.
 
 
But you know what really gets me?
 
But you know what really gets me?
  +
I didn't have plan B.
 
  +
I didn't have plan "B."
  +
 
My marriage was supposed to last.
 
My marriage was supposed to last.
  +
So I guess that's why I'm here.
 
  +
Mm-hmm. Mmm.
I can tell you one thing.
 
  +
Yeah, what's that?
 
  +
So I guess that's why I'm here. Hmm?
Well, you are one brave woman.
 
  +
  +
I can tell you one thing though.
  +
  +
Yeah Well, you are one brave woman.
  +
 
You're bad.
 
You're bad.
  +
- No.
 
- Oh, yes. Oh, yes.
+
No. Oh, yes. Oh, yes.
  +
- I hope you recognize that.
 
- No, I don't really feel like that, James.
+
I hope you recognize that. No, I don't really feel like that, James.
  +
Well, I mean,
 
you're sitting here all alone...
+
Well, I mean, you're sitting here all alone.
  +
...ain't a black person in sight, and you
 
sitting here like everything is all right.
+
Ain't a black person in sight, and you're sitting here looking like everything is all right.
  +
You know, your makeup is flawless--
 
  +
You know, your makeup is flawless.
Oh, co-- That-- come on now.
 
  +
I mean, you've taken his best shot,
 
  +
Oh, come on now.
and you're still here.
 
  +
- Splendid.
 
  +
I mean, you've taken his best shot, and you're still here.
- You just know me so well, huh?
 
  +
  +
Mmm.
  +
  +
Splendid.
  +
  +
You just know me so well.
  +
 
No, no, no, no. I don't know you.
 
No, no, no, no. I don't know you.
  +
But I do know a fighter
 
when I see one.
+
But I do know a fighter when I see one.
  +
And I could tell that...
 
...with one look in your eyes.
+
And I could tell that with one look in your eyes.
  +
What are you?
 
A psychiatrist or something?
+
What are you, a, um-- a psychiatrist or something?
  +
No. No. I am a civil-rights attorney.
 
  +
No. No.
My practice is in Washington, D.c.
 
  +
  +
I am a civil rights attorney.
  +
  +
My practice is in Washington, D.C.
  +
 
I'm going through something similar.
 
I'm going through something similar.
  +
My wife is dying...
 
  +
My wife is dying.
...of breast cancer.
 
  +
Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry to hear that.
 
  +
Oh. Of breast cancer.
It's....
 
  +
Bernadine,
 
  +
Well, I'm sorry. I'm sorry to hear that.
have you ever watched someone dying?
 
  +
I tell you, I mean,
 
  +
It's--
watching her suffer just kills...
 
  +
...a bit of me every day.
 
  +
Bernadine, have you ever watched someone dying?
And the worst part is that I can't help
 
  +
but remember all the plans we made.
 
  +
I tell ya. I mean, watching her suffer just kills... a bit of me every day.
You know, like we were supposed
 
  +
to retire in St. Thomas.
 
  +
And the worst part is that I can't help but remember all the plans we made.
You know,
 
  +
out there by the beach.
 
  +
You know, like we were supposed to retire in Saint Thomas, you know.
She loves the water.
 
  +
Get the coconut oil
 
  +
Out there by the beach. And she loves the water.
and rub it all over her.
 
  +
She is definiteIy....
 
  +
Get the coconut oil and rub it all over her.
I tell you, I just....
 
  +
I just wish I couId have a piece of her
 
  +
She is definitely a--
that I couId keep safe, you know?
 
  +
  +
I tell you, I just--
  +
  +
I just wish I could have a piece of her that I could keep safe, you know.
  +
 
Just something.
 
Just something.
  +
Something more
 
than a bunch of memories.
+
Something more than a bunch of memories.
  +
Anyway....
 
  +
Anyway.
you look like you're out.
 
  +
How about a...?
 
  +
You look like you're out. Mmm.
A refill?
 
  +
- Yeah, okay.
 
  +
How about a, uh-- a refill?
- Okay.
 
  +
She'll take another
 
  +
Yeah. Okay. Okay.
of whatever it is she got.
 
  +
- Scotch and soda.
 
  +
Uh, she'll take another whatever it is she got.
- Ooh....
 
  +
  +
Scotch and soda. Ooh.
  +
 
I'm scared of you.
 
I'm scared of you.
   
  +
* Everyone falls *
[KNOCKING]
 
  +
  +
* In love sometimes *
  +
  +
* Sometimes it's wrong *
  +
  +
* And sometimes it's right *
  +
  +
* For every win *
  +
  +
* Someone must fail *
  +
  +
* But there comes a point when *
  +
  +
* When we exhale **
  +
  +
Well, hello. Hello.
   
Well, hello.
 
Hello.
 
 
You look better than I remembered.
 
You look better than I remembered.
It's funny, you don't.
 
   
  +
It's funny. You don't.
[SAVANNAH CHUCKLING]
 
   
 
But I guess you couldn't.
 
But I guess you couldn't.
- Oh, it's good to see you.
 
- You too.
 
Well, I am producing my first segment.
 
It's only three minutes long,
 
but it is a start.
 
   
KENNETH: That's good.
+
Oh, it's good to see you. You too.
  +
That's real good. I'm proud of you.
 
  +
Well, I'm producing my first segment. Mm-hmm.
All right, let's cut the bull.
 
  +
Are you gonna talk to me for real?
 
  +
Uh, it's only three minutes long, but it is a start.
I have to apologize for thinking
 
  +
I can just pop back into your life...
 
  +
That's good. That's real good. I'm proud of you.
...after all these years.
 
  +
Pop back? In my life?
 
  +
All right, all right. Let's cut the bull.
Yeah.
 
  +
  +
Are you gonna talk to me for real, or what?
  +
  +
You know, I have to apologize for thinking I could just... pop back into your life after all these years.
  +
  +
"Pop back" in my life?
  +
  +
Yeah. Oh.
  +
 
I needed to see you.
 
I needed to see you.
  +
All right, you've seen me.
 
Now I can leave. I can go.
+
All right. So you've seen me. Now I can leave, right? I can go.
  +
Oh, man. There's so many things
 
I wanna say to you.
+
Oh, man. There's so many things I want to say to you.
  +
 
Is that right?
 
Is that right?
  +
Things I've wanted to say ever since....
 
  +
Things I've wanted to say ever since--
Well...
 
  +
...ever since you dumped me.
 
  +
Well, ever since you dumped me.
  +
 
Dumped you?
 
Dumped you?
  +
Can we revisit the real worId
 
for a minute, Kenneth?
+
Can we revisit the real world here for a minute, Kenneth? Yeah.
  +
- Yeah.
 
- You stopped calling me.
+
You stopped calling me.
  +
Oh, yeah, well,
 
it took me a while to get the hint.
+
Oh, yeah. Well, took me a while to get the hint.
  +
- The hint?
 
- Yeah.
+
The hint? Yeah.
  +
Well, what hint is that?
 
  +
What hint is that?
you never called me...
 
  +
- I never called you....
 
  +
You never called me-- I never called you. to go anywhere, not even once. Kenneth.
- ...go anywhere.
 
  +
Not even once.
 
Kenneth, you're the man.
+
You're the man.
  +
And that wasn't the nature
 
of our relationship, and you know that.
+
And that wasn't the nature of our relationship, and you know that.
  +
I know.
 
  +
Mm-hmm. I know.
The nature of our relationship was
 
  +
that I was in love with a woman...
 
...was too nice to hurt my feelings.
+
The nature of our relationship was that I was in love with a woman... who was too nice to hurt my feelings.
  +
 
You were in love with who?
 
You were in love with who?
  +
 
And what?
 
And what?
Look...
 
...I know I'm married...
 
...and I Iove my daughter
 
with all my heart.
 
You see...
 
...her mother was five months pregnant
 
when we married.
 
Now, that was my choice.
 
I went in with my eyes open...
 
...and I've lived with it
 
for seven years now.
 
I don't want this to come off
 
like some kind of come-on...
 
...but you are the onIy woman
 
that I have ever loved...
 
...and I still Iove you, Savannah.
 
   
  +
Look.
[FAITH EVAN's "KISSING YOU" PLAyS]
 
   
  +
I know I'm married, and I love my daughter with all my heart.
JAMES: you okay?
 
  +
-
 
  +
You see, her mother was five months pregnant when we married.
  +
  +
Now that was my choice. I went in with my eyes open, and I've lived with it for seven years now.
  +
  +
Now I don't want this to come off like some kind of come-on, but you are the only woman that I have ever loved.
  +
  +
And I still love you, Savannah.
  +
  +
* And I can't believe it's real *
  +
  +
* Can't believe it's you *
  +
  +
* I can't believe it's happening *
  +
  +
* I can't believe it's true *
  +
  +
* And I can't believe that you are here with me *
  +
  +
* And I am here with you *
  +
  +
* Kissing you *
  +
  +
* Softly kissing you *
  +
  +
* Kissing you *
  +
  +
* Forever kissing you *
  +
  +
* Kissing you *
  +
  +
* Kissing you * * You *
  +
  +
* I can't believe that you took me *
  +
  +
* When I was choosing you *
  +
  +
* Kissing you *
  +
  +
* Forever kissing you *
  +
  +
* Kissing you *
  +
  +
* Oh, gently kissing you * * Kissing you *
  +
  +
* Kissing you * * Kissing you *
  +
  +
* Kissing you * * Kissing you *
  +
  +
* Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh **
  +
  +
You okay?
  +
  +
Yeah, I'm just-- Yeah, I'm okay.
   
Yeah, I'm just.... Yeah, I'm okay.
 
 
Nervous.
 
Nervous.
  +
I'm a little nervous.
 
  +
Oh. I'm-- I'm a little nervous.
If you're having second thoughts
 
  +
about me being up here....
 
  +
Well, I mean, if you're having second thoughts about me being up here.
No, no.
 
  +
  +
No, no. I'm--
  +
 
I'm having all kinds of thoughts.
 
I'm having all kinds of thoughts.
  +
Well, I mean,
 
if it's any consolation, Bernie...
+
Well, I mean, if it's any consolation, Bernie, I've never done this before.
...I've never done this before.
 
   
 
You sure?
 
You sure?
I haven't made Iove to a woman
 
in over a year.
 
   
  +
I haven't made love to a woman in over a year.
Lauren stopped wanting to, so....
 
  +
[GIGGLING]
 
  +
Lauren (or Laurie) stopped wanting to, so--
  +
  +
Um--
  +
  +
Look.
  +
  +
I got two things I want to say to you. No, no. No. You don't have to... say anything. I do, because you may kick me out afterwards.
  +
  +
Remember how you were saying that the woman your husband, uh, was marrying--
  +
  +
I mean, ex-husband-- that she was white?
   
JAMES:
 
Look....
 
- I got two things I wanna say.
 
- No, you don't have to say anything--
 
I do, because you may
 
kick me out afterwards.
 
[CHUCKLES]
 
Remember how you were saying that
 
the woman your husband was marrying...
 
...I mean, ex-husband...
 
...that she was white?
 
 
Yes.
 
Yes.
  +
Well....
 
  +
Well--
  +
 
Well, so is my wife.
 
Well, so is my wife.
  +
Look, Bernie, I mean,
 
  +
Look, Bernie. I mean, I can sit here, and I can say that the reason I'm staying with her is because she's dying... or that it's my obligation or a whole bunch of st-- stuff,
I couId sit here and say...
 
  +
...that the reason I'm staying with her
 
  +
but the truth of the matter is--
is because she's dying...
 
  +
...or that it's my obligation
 
  +
I love her.
or a whole bunch of stuff...
 
  +
...but the truth of the matter is...
 
  +
She's the only woman I have ever loved.
...I love her.
 
  +
She's the only woman
 
  +
And I would never leave her under any circumstances.
I have ever loved...
 
  +
...and I would never leave her
 
under any circumstances.
 
 
It hurts like hell.
 
It hurts like hell.
  +
 
Yeah.
 
Yeah.
  +
Someone felt that way about me once...
 
  +
...but he stopped.
 
  +
What do you wanna do tonight?
 
  +
Someone felt that way about me once.
  +
  +
But he stopped.
  +
  +
What do you want to do tonight?
  +
 
Make tonight beautiful.
 
Make tonight beautiful.
  +
 
Beautiful.
 
Beautiful.
  +
- Marvin, please eat this sandwich.
 
  +
* I know if there is any chance *
- Mmm.
 
  +
- Yes. Yes, indeed.
 
  +
* For us to find our happiness *
- Come on now!
 
  +
- Just kidding.
 
  +
* We've got to learn to let it go *
- No, you weren't.
 
  +
I wouldn't do that to you.
 
  +
* Oh, forget all the pain we knew *
can you hold that for me?
 
  +
Don't throw that away, now.
 
  +
* Sometimes *
  +
  +
* Sometimes it hurts so bad, baby **
  +
  +
Marvin, please eat this sandwich.
  +
  +
Mmm.
  +
  +
Yes. Yes indeed.
  +
  +
Ah, come on now. I'm just kidding.
  +
  +
No, you weren't. I wouldn't do that.
  +
  +
You were not. Can you hold that for me?
  +
  +
Don't throw that away now.
  +
 
Ain't got no cheese on this sandwich.
 
Ain't got no cheese on this sandwich.
  +
- You don't like cheese.
 
- Bought the paint.
+
You don't like cheese. I brought the paint.
  +
Good.
 
Sit it right down there, Tarik.
+
Good. Sit it right down there, Tarik.
  +
Want a bite of this sandwich?
 
It got cheese in it?
+
You want a bite of this sandwich, Tarik? It got cheese in it?
  +
[LAUGHING]
 
 
Here. Take a bite.
 
Here. Take a bite.
  +
[PLAYS "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU"]
 
  +
**
[WOMEN SINGING
 
  +
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU"]
 
  +
**
GLORIA:
 
  +
Oh....
 
  +
* Happy birthday, dear Gloria *
- Thank you.
 
  +
- Happy birthday, baby.
 
  +
Oh!
To the best blow-drying,
 
  +
scissor-scalping...
 
  +
* Happy birthday to you **
...bumber-curling, braiding, weaving...
 
  +
..."get this gray out of my head,"
 
  +
Oh!
dyeing beautician...
 
  +
...west of the Mississippi.
 
  +
Thank you.
  +
  +
To the best blow-dryin', scissor-scalpin', bumper-curlin', braidin', weavin', "get this gray out of my hair" dyein'... beautician west of the Mississippi.
  +
 
Happy birthday.
 
Happy birthday.
  +
Oh, thanks.
 
  +
Oh. Thanks. Weak!
Weak.
 
  +
Gloria, I hope you find true love...
 
...and get you some that's so electric,
+
Gloria, I hope you find true love... and get you some that's so electric... you ain't gonna need no blow-dryer. Oh, please.
  +
you ain't gonna need no blow dryer.
 
  +
And so juicy, it's gonna put an end to your 10-year drought.
- Oh, pIease.
 
  +
- And so juicy...
 
  +
Oh!
...it's gonna put an end
 
  +
to your 10-year drought.
 
  +
Nasty. Ooh.
- Oh!
 
  +
SAVANNAH: Oh, she's so nasty.
 
  +
Oh, come on, y'all. Raise 'em up one more time. Let's get serious now.
Nasty.
 
  +
Oh, come on, raise them once more.
 
  +
Girlfriend, here's to peace of mind... and all the happiness that your heart and hand can hold.
Let's get serious now.
 
  +
Girlfriend...
 
  +
'Cause Lord knows you deserve it. Aw.
...here's to peace of mind...
 
  +
...and all the happiness
 
  +
Oh! Happy birthday! Happy birthday!
that your heart and hand can hold...
 
  +
...because Lord knows you deserve it.
 
Oh....
+
Oh, thank you.
  +
- Happy birthday, girl.
 
GLORIA: Oh, thank you.
 
 
Happy birthday.
 
Happy birthday.
  +
I can do this.
 
  +
Okay. I can do this. All right.
All right, come on,
 
  +
make your wish first. Make your wish.
 
  +
All right. Now come on. Make your wish first. Make your wish.
Okay.
 
  +
- Come on, girl, go on.
 
  +
Um, okay.
- Okey
 
  +
Oh, this is pitiful.
 
  +
Get serious! Go on.
come on, let's help this old lady.
 
  +
- You need some help.
 
- Let's help her out.
+
Oh, this is pitiful. Come on. Let's help this old lady. Just help me out.
  +
[WOMAN SINGS OVER STEREO]
 
  +
You need some help. Come on. Let's help her out.
Why do they write these damn songs?
 
  +
To make you think and believe
 
  +
* Love was always supposed to be *
and dream you could feel like this?
 
  +
Somebody had to go through this shit
 
  +
* Something wonderful to me *
in order to write it.
 
  +
  +
* To watch it grow inside yourself *
  +
  +
* To feel your heart beside itself *
  +
  +
* Sometimes it hurts * Why do they write these damn songs?
  +
  +
To make you think and believe and dream... you could feel like this?
  +
  +
Hmm. S***.
  +
  +
Somebody had to go through this s*** in order to write it.
  +
 
Don't you think?
 
Don't you think?
  +
  +
* Sometimes the pain *
  +
  +
* Is just too much * Shoot.
  +
 
You know what?
 
You know what?
  +
 
You know what we all have in common?
 
You know what we all have in common?
  +
 
What?
 
What?
  +
None of us, not none of us...
 
...have a man.
+
None of us-- not none of us... have a man.
  +
That's some sad shit.
 
  +
Some sad s***.
That lying asshole.
 
  +
He messed up my life.
 
  +
* Always there inside of you * That lying a**hole.
I should call him right now.
 
  +
I wanna talk to that bitch.
 
  +
* Oh *
GLORIA:
 
  +
Girl, you crazy. What are you thinking?
 
  +
Messed up my life.
ROBIN:
 
  +
Hand me the phone. I'll talk to her.
 
  +
* Sometimes it hurts to love so bad *
GLORIA:
 
  +
No, wait a minute.
 
  +
* When you know you've given it your best * I should call him right now.
- Dial her number, Bernie.
 
  +
GLORIA: Hey, wait.
 
  +
* Sometimes it hurts to even laugh *
SAVANNAH: Robin, what are y'all doing?
 
  +
- No.
 
  +
* You feel a thousand miles from happiness * And I wanna talk to that b***h.
SAVANNAH: Put the phone down.
 
  +
KATHLEEN: Johnny? Hello?
 
  +
* Sometimes the pain *
No, it's not John, bitch.
 
  +
Robin! Savannah, talk to her.
 
  +
* Is just too much *
BERNADINE: What happened?
 
  +
- Bernie don't do this.
 
  +
* And it hurts like hell *
Bernie? Bern, don't do this.
 
  +
I gave him two babies, and she thinks
 
  +
Hand me the phone. I'll talk to that ho.
she can just take my fucking husband.
 
  +
GLORIA:
 
  +
Oh, wait a minute. Hold on. Dial her number, Bernie.
Bernie!
 
  +
Bernie, cut.
 
  +
Wait, wait. Wait.
It's stupid!
 
  +
It's stupid, and it's childish!
 
  +
Dial her number. What are y'all doing?
SAVANNAH:
 
  +
Thank you!
 
  +
No.
Gloria, I have some shit
 
  +
I wanna get off my chest.
 
  +
Put the phone down. Johnny No, it's not John, b***h.
  +
  +
Robin. Savannah, talk to her.
  +
  +
What happened? Bernie. Bernie, don't do this.
  +
  +
Bernie.
  +
  +
Bernie, don't do this. Gloria, I gave him two babies, and she thinks she can just take my f***in' husband.
  +
  +
Bernie! Bernie, cut.
  +
  +
It's stupid.
  +
  +
It's stupid, and it's childish.
  +
  +
Thank you.
  +
  +
Gloria, I had some s*** I wanted to get off my chest.
  +
 
I'm hurt.
 
I'm hurt.
  +
You unplugged the phone.
 
What happened to the music?
+
Why'd you unplug the phone?
  +
I thought this was supposed
 
  +
Wh-What-- What happened to the music?
to be a party.
 
  +
[TLC's "CREEP" PLAYS]
 
  +
I thought this was supposed to be a party.
BERNADINE: Hurt it. come on, baby.
 
  +
ROBIN: Go, Gloria.
 
  +
** All right. Come on, baby.
[GIGLING]
 
  +
I'm sick of this shit, now.
 
  +
* Yeah *
  +
  +
* Just keep it on the down low ** Ah!
  +
  +
**
  +
  +
You already know.
  +
  +
I'm sick of this s*** now.
  +
 
Wait a minute.
 
Wait a minute.
  +
The one man I Iove
 
is married with a kid...
+
The one man I love... is married with a kid.
  +
...and there's my life
 
in one little sad nutshell.
+
And there's my life in one little sad nutshell.
  +
Men do leave their wives.
 
  +
Mmm. Men do leave their wives.
  +
 
At least he told you he was married.
 
At least he told you he was married.
  +
yeah, but see,
 
I'm not your average 24-year-old girl...
+
Yeah, but, see, I'm not your average 24-year-old girl... who's willing to wait around and count the days, see.
  +
...who's willing to wait around
 
  +
Mm-mmm. Uh-uh. I'm 33 years old.
and count the days, see?
 
  +
- I'm 33 years old
 
- Ooh....
+
Ooh! Good!
  +
...and I still look good.
 
I still look good!
+
And I still look good.
  +
- You do.
 
- You look good, girl.
+
I still look good.
  +
GLORIA:
 
  +
You do. You do look good, girl.
Fly diva.
 
  +
Uh-huh. Freak mama.
 
GLORIA: Hoochie-coochie diva.
+
You said it, fly diva.
  +
- No.
 
  +
Mm-hmm. Freak mama.
All y'all go to hell.
 
  +
- You know you look good.
 
  +
The hoochie-coochie diva.
- You look good, girl.
 
  +
Whatever happened
 
  +
No. All y'all go to hell.
to the good old days?
 
  +
- The good old days?
 
  +
Savannah, you know you look good. You look good, girl.
- What good old days?
 
  +
Jinx.
 
  +
Whatever happened to the good old days?
You know, the days when men
 
  +
actually flirted with you...
 
  +
Oh. Good old days.
...and asked you out
 
  +
for a real date, you know?
 
  +
What good old days? What good old--
Where they hiding?
 
  +
They're not hiding.
 
  +
Jinx. You know, the days when... men actually flirted with you... and-and-and asked you out for a real date, you know.
They're too damn scared
 
  +
to make a commitment.
 
  +
Where are they hidin'?
They're with white women.
 
  +
- They're gay.
 
  +
They're not hidin'. They're too damn scared to make a commitment.
- Or married.
 
  +
- They ugly.
 
- They behind bars.
+
Mm-mmm. They're with white women.
  +
  +
They're gay. Or married.
  +
  +
They're ugly. They behind bars.
  +
 
Got bad credit.
 
Got bad credit.
  +
Got littIe dicks and can't fuck.
 
That's what it is.
+
Got little d**ks and can't f***. That's what it is.
  +
Or they got big ones
 
and still can't fuck!
+
Or they got big ones and still can't f***. Ooh!
  +
[CHUCKLING]
 
Wait, wait. They wanna spank you.
+
Wait, wait. They want to spank it.
  +
- What? They wanna what?
 
- They wanna spank us?
+
What? They want to--
  +
- That's not a bad thing.
 
  +
What? They want to what?
- Oh, Robin.
 
  +
Oh, come on.
 
  +
Now that's not a bad thing, Gloria.
- They're too possessive.
 
  +
- They want you to be their mama.
 
  +
Oh, Robin. Come on.
  +
  +
They're too possessive.
  +
  +
They want you to be their mama.
  +
 
And their daddy.
 
And their daddy.
  +
- And they ugly.
 
- We already said they was ugly.
+
And they're ugly. Baby, we already said they was ugly.
  +
Yes, good and ugly.
 
Inside-out ugly?
+
Yes. Good and ugly.
  +
If you're ugly inside,
 
  +
Inside out ugly?
you're ugly outside.
 
  +
- Inside out.
 
  +
If you're ugly inside, you're ugly outside.
- Jeez, who asked her?
 
  +
TARIK:
 
  +
Inside out.
Happy birthday, Mom.
 
  +
[PHONE RINGING]
 
  +
Geez. Who asked her?
SAVANNAH:
 
  +
  +
Happy birthday, Ma.
  +
  +
  +
 
Hi, Ma. Did I wake you?
 
Hi, Ma. Did I wake you?
  +
 
What difference does it make?
 
What difference does it make?
  +
 
I'm up now.
 
I'm up now.
  +
 
What's wrong?
 
What's wrong?
  +
why you talking so low?
 
  +
Why you talkin' so low?
  +
 
Savannah? Are you there?
 
Savannah? Are you there?
  +
Yeah. yeah, Ma. I'm still here.
 
  +
Yeah. Yeah, Ma. I'm still here.
  +
 
Nothing's wrong.
 
Nothing's wrong.
  +
 
How are things with you?
 
How are things with you?
  +
Well, they cut my food stamps
 
to $57 a month.
+
Well, they cut my food stamps to $57 a month.
  +
How've you been getting by?
 
What've you been eating?
+
Ma, how the hell have you been getting by? What have you been eating?
  +
Oh, baby, see,
 
I knew you would get upset...
+
Oh, baby, see, I knew you would get upset, and I've been trying to deal with it on my own.
  +
...and I been trying to deal with it
 
  +
The check, it's-- goes so fast, and things are so high nowadays.
on my own.
 
  +
The check, it goes so fast,
 
and things are so high nowadays.
 
 
Ma, how much money do you have?
 
Ma, how much money do you have?
  +
Sixty-seven dollars.
 
  +
Mmm. Sixty-seven dollars.
Ma, be down at Western Union
 
  +
first thing in the morning. Okay?
 
  +
Ma, be down at Western Union first thing in the morning.
Baby...
 
  +
...you know, Kenneth called,
 
  +
Okay?
and he said he's going to be trying...
 
  +
...to come out there,
 
  +
Baby.
with him filing forhis divorce and all.
 
  +
well, did he call you?
 
  +
You know, Kenneth called, and, uh, he said that he was gonna be trying to come out there, with-- with him filing for his divorce and all.
No, no, he hasn't.
 
  +
Well, then pick up the phone
 
and call him.
+
Well, did he call you?
  +
  +
N-No. No, he hasn't.
  +
  +
Well, then pick up the phone and call him.
  +
 
Because, Ma, I just don't know.
 
Because, Ma, I just don't know.
  +
I don't know if I can trust him.
 
  +
I don't know if I can trust him, you know.
  +
 
Oh, girl, you're so crazy.
 
Oh, girl, you're so crazy.
  +
 
Mama, do me a favor, okay?
 
Mama, do me a favor, okay?
  +
 
Yes?
 
Yes?
  +
I don't care if it's a knitting class
 
or a new girdle, anything.
+
I don't care if it's a-- a knitting class or a new girdle--
  +
I don't care what it is...
 
  +
Anything. I don't care what it is.
...you just pick up the phone
 
  +
and you call me, okay?
 
  +
You just pick up the phone and you call me, okay?
  +
 
All right, baby.
 
All right, baby.
  +
And only me, Ma.
 
Only you, precious.
+
And only me, Ma. Only you, precious.
  +
 
Bye.
 
Bye.
  +
KENNETH:
 
 
Hi.
 
Hi.
  +
 
Yeah, sorry I didn't call after I got in.
 
Yeah, sorry I didn't call after I got in.
  +
Oh, continuous introductions
 
after a very long and tedious meeting.
+
Oh, continuous introductions after a very long and tedious meeting.
  +
 
I was whipped.
 
I was whipped.
  +
Yeah. One thing is certain...
 
  +
Yeah. One thing is certain.
...I'm gonna have to come here a few
 
  +
more times before this deal's in place.
 
  +
I'm gonna have to come out here a few more times before this deal's in place.
Yeah. How's my baby girl?
 
  +
Well, you tell her
 
that her daddy loves her.
 
 
Yeah.
 
Yeah.
  +
  +
How's my baby girl?
  +
  +
Well, you tell her that her daddy loves her.
  +
  +
Yeah.
  +
 
Me too.
 
Me too.
  +
 
Bye.
 
Bye.
  +
- Well, good morning.
 
- Well, good morning.
+
Well, good morning. Well, good mornin'.
  +
 
And how are you today?
 
And how are you today?
  +
 
I'm here with you. It's all good.
 
I'm here with you. It's all good.
  +
Have your breakfast. I'll be back.
 
I'll be here.
+
Have your breakfast. I'll be back. I'll be here.
  +
This is gonna broaden his horizons.
 
  +
**
Make him more worldly.
 
  +
He'll be fluent in Spanish.
 
  +
* Inside yourself it's bad *
I know that.
 
  +
I don't see why he has to go
 
  +
This is gonna broaden his horizons, make him more worldly.
all the way to Spain...
 
  +
...when he's accepted
 
  +
He'll be fluent in Spanish. I know that.
at Arizona State--
 
  +
I'm gonna miss him too.
 
  +
I just don't see why he has to go all the way to Spain... when he's already been accepted at Arizona State.
- Who's taIking about missing him?
 
  +
- Look, he's a man, Gloria.
 
  +
I'm gonna miss him too. Who's talking about missing him?
  +
  +
Look. He's a man, Gloria.
  +
 
He knows what he wants.
 
He knows what he wants.
  +
- Be proud you raised him that way.
 
- I am proud.
+
Be proud you raised him that way. I am proud.
  +
It's just....
 
  +
It's just--
- He's my baby. you don't understand.
 
  +
- I understand. I--
 
  +
He's my baby. You just don't understand. I understand.
  +
  +
I un--
  +
 
Why you telling me all this?
 
Why you telling me all this?
  +
I thought that since you been coming
 
over, showing him how to fix things....
+
Well, I thought that since you've been coming over all these months, showing him how to fix things--
  +
He's never known what it's like
 
to have a father.
+
He's-- He's never known what it's like to have a father.
  +
You took him fishing.
 
He looks up to you.
+
You took him fishin'. He looks up to you.
  +
I thought maybe you
 
could talk some sense into him.
+
I thought maybe you could talk some sense into him.
  +
It seems to me Tarik isn't the one
 
needs to come to his senses.
+
It seems to me Tarik isn't the one who needs to come to his senses.
  +
If you don't mind my saying so.
 
  +
I-If you don't mind my saying so.
Well, everybody's entitled
 
  +
to their own opinion. Good night.
 
  +
Well, everybody's entitled to their own opinion. Good night.
  +
 
Gloria.
 
Gloria.
  +
 
Good night.
 
Good night.
  +
It's getting late. I better....
 
  +
* Feel so sad *
  +
  +
* I thought I was over you *
  +
  +
It's getting late. I better-- * But I keep crying *
  +
  +
* When I don't love you *
  +
 
Good night.
 
Good night.
  +
Russell called and said
 
  +
* So why does it hurt so badly **
he's leaving his wife for sure this time.
 
  +
Okay, so, what's taking him so long?
 
  +
**
  +
  +
Russell called and said he's leaving his wife for sure this time.
  +
  +
Okay. So what's taking him so long?
  +
 
Russell?
 
Russell?
  +
 
Russell, what took you so long?
 
Russell, what took you so long?
  +
RUSSELL:
 
 
I wasn't gone that long.
 
I wasn't gone that long.
  +
ROBIN:
 
  +
* Some just learn it on the way *
  +
 
Well, what happened?
 
Well, what happened?
  +
RUSSELL:
 
 
We talked.
 
We talked.
  +
 
Well, I assumed that much.
 
Well, I assumed that much.
  +
So...
 
  +
So?
...is she gonna sign the divorce papers...
 
  +
...or what?
 
  +
* Make it smooth Take your time *
You just don't decide to divorce
 
  +
somebody and sign on the dotted line.
 
  +
Is she gonna sign the divorce papers, or what?
  +
  +
You just don't decide to divorce somebody and sign on the dotted line, baby.
  +
 
It doesn't work that way.
 
It doesn't work that way.
  +
 
I wish it did, but it doesn't.
 
I wish it did, but it doesn't.
  +
Why don't you get my pajamas.
 
  +
**
Pajamas?
 
  +
Now, that's the first time
 
  +
Why don't you get my pajamas?
you ever asked for those.
 
  +
  +
Pajamas? Now that's the first time you ever asked for those.
  +
 
Russell, did you sleep with her?
 
Russell, did you sleep with her?
  +
I can't take coming here...
 
  +
I can't take comin' here and bein' pressured about what I'm doin' with my own wife.
...and being pressured
 
  +
about what I'm doing with my own wife.
 
Well, you know we won't have
+
Well, you know we're not gonna have very much time to spend together.
  +
very much time to spend together.
 
  +
* Everybody knows how to make you scream *
[PHONE RINGING]
 
  +
Hello.
 
  +
It's Troy.
TROy:
 
  +
what's happening, baby? It's Troy.
 
- I can't talk right now.
+
I can't talk right now. What, you can't talk now?
  +
- What? Can't talk now?
 
Look, why don't you just say something
+
Hey, look. Why don't you just say somethin' sexy to me so I can go to sleep?
  +
sexy to me, so I can go to sleep--
 
 
Who was that?
 
Who was that?
  +
 
Savannah.
 
Savannah.
  +
I suggest you tell your boyfriends
 
not to call here after 11:00.
+
I suggest you tell your boyfriends not to call here after 11:00.
  +
He's jealous. what a joke.
 
  +
He's jealous. What a joke.
What the hell am I doing, anyway?
 
  +
[CHOIR SINGING GOSPEL SONG]
 
  +
What the hell am I doin' anyway?
This Up With People's choir
 
  +
that's going to Spain...
 
  +
* Said I shall not be moved *
...is it this good?
 
  +
You mean the one
 
  +
**
You won't let me join?
 
  +
No.
 
  +
* Said I shall not be moved *
  +
  +
* Just like a tree that's planted by the water *
  +
  +
* Just like a tree *
  +
  +
This Up With People's choir that's goin' to Spain-- is it this good?
  +
  +
You mean the one you won't let me join?
  +
  +
Nah. * Shall not be moved **
  +
 
But they're close.
 
But they're close.
  +
After that selection, after that song....
 
After that song,
+
After that selection, after that song--
  +
somebody should say, "Thank you."
 
  +
After that song, somebody ought to say thank you.
ALL: Thank you!
 
  +
- Say, "praise the Lord."
 
ALL: Praise the Lord!
+
Thank you! Say "Praise the Lord."
  +
- Say "praise the Lord!"
 
- Praise the Lord!
+
Praise the Lord! Say "Praise the Lord!"
  +
- Turn to your neighbor and say:
 
  +
Praise the Lord!
- "The Lord is blessing me...
 
  +
- The Lord is blessing me...
 
  +
Turn to your neighbor, right where you're sitting, and say "The Lord"--
- ...right now."
 
  +
- ...right now.
 
  +
The Lord-- "is blessing me"-- is blessing me.
- Amen.
 
  +
- Amen.
 
  +
"right now." right now.
At this time, our prayers go out
 
  +
to Sister Lulu Mae Preston...
 
  +
Amen. Amen.
...who's had hip surgery.
 
  +
Church, I want you to know
 
  +
At this time, our prayers go out to Sister Lulu Mae Preston, who just had hip surgery.
this morning that God is able!
 
  +
And because we know that he's able...
 
  +
Church, I want you to know this morning that...
...we will continue to pray
 
  +
her strength in the Lord.
 
  +
God is able!
- Amen.
 
  +
- Amen.
 
  +
And because we know that he's able, we will continue to pray her strength in the Lord.
Sister Gloria Matthews
 
  +
would like the congregation...
 
  +
Amen. Amen.
...to send their prayers out
 
  +
for the safe journey of her son, Tarik...
 
  +
Sister Gloria Matthews... would like the congregation to send their prayers out... for the safe journey of her son Tarik, who'll soon be on his way to Spain for a year... to play the saxophone in the Up With People International Orchestra.
...who'll soon be on his way
 
  +
to Spain for a year...
 
  +
Hallelujah! Amen!
...to play saxophone in the
 
  +
Up With People International Orchestra.
 
Hallelujah! Amen.
+
Amen. Oh!
  +
Ah!
 
Brother Tarik...
+
Brother Tarik-- Mm-hmm.
  +
...hold on to the Lord's unchanging hand.
 
  +
Hold on to the Lord's unchanging hand.
As you go on your journey, continue
 
  +
to trust in the Lord with all your heart.
 
  +
As you go on your journey, continue to trust in the Lord with all your heart.
- Amen
 
  +
ALL: Amen.
 
  +
Amen. Amen.
[CHILDREN SCRAMING]
 
  +
So, what do you think, Robin?
 
  +
I mean, so what do you think, Robin?
I've loved this man forever, and now
 
  +
that we've got another chance...
 
...I don't wanna blow it by making him
+
I've loved this man forever, and now that we've got another chance, I don't want to blow it by making him think I don't have any faith in him.
  +
think I don't have faith in him.
 
 
Do you know what I mean?
 
Do you know what I mean?
  +
I mean, don't we hear this
 
on Sally and Oprah every day?
+
I mean, don't we hear this on Sally and Oprah every day?
  +
- That's what you sound like.
 
  +
That's what you sound like, you know.
- I know.
 
  +
Is that where you get advice?
 
  +
Yeah, I know. Is that where you get your advice from
The TV?
 
  +
Well, you know, there was
 
this one woman in your same situation.
+
Well, you know, there was this one woman in your same situation.
  +
This man kept saying
 
he was gonna leave too.
+
Mmm. This man kept saying he was gonna leave too.
  +
She got her hopes all up
 
  +
She got her hopes all up and everything, quit her job, even moved to the city he lived in.
and everything...
 
  +
...quit her job,
 
  +
Right after she got there, she found out she was three months' pregnant.
even moved to the city he lived in.
 
  +
Right after she got there...
 
...she found out
 
she was three months pregnant.
 
 
He ended up dumping the woman.
 
He ended up dumping the woman.
  +
He said his kids would be too hurt
 
if he left now.
+
He said his kids would be too hurt if he left now.
  +
So, what about the baby?
 
  +
So what about the baby?
  +
 
So she had an abortion.
 
So she had an abortion.
  +
She never, ever told a soul...
 
  +
She never, ever told a soul.
...not even her mama.
 
  +
  +
Not even her mama.
  +
 
Hmm.
 
Hmm.
  +
She never looked at men
 
quite the same again.
+
She never looked at men quite the same again.
  +
 
So he left his wife in the end, right?
 
So he left his wife in the end, right?
  +
 
Take a wild guess, Savannah.
 
Take a wild guess, Savannah.
  +
What show was this on?
 
  +
What show did you hear this on?
Sorry...
 
  +
...I've never been on Oprah.
 
  +
Sorry.
[COUGHING]
 
  +
  +
I've never been on Oprah.
  +
  +
Where's my mom?
  +
  +
I think my mommy left me. Have you seen my mom?
  +
 
Guess what I got.
 
Guess what I got.
  +
- Some tea.
 
  +
Uh, some tea.
- Guess.
 
  +
  +
Guess.
  +
 
Picture you drew for me?
 
Picture you drew for me?
  +
I don't know, honey. What is it?
 
  +
I don't know, honey. I give. What is it?
ONIKA:
 
  +
I got the mail, Ma.
 
- Oh. Thank you.
+
I got the mail, Ma. Oh, thank you.
  +
- You're welcome. I'll be right back, okay?
 
  +
You're welcome. I'll be right back, okay?
  +
 
Okay.
 
Okay.
  +
ONIKA:
 
  +
Hmm.
  +
 
Mama?
 
Mama?
  +
JAMES: I've waited as long
 
as I could to contact you.
+
I've waited as long as I could to contact you.
  +
ONIKA:
 
Mama, is "freak" a bad word?
+
Mommy, is "freak" a bad word?
  +
JAMES: I've been thinking
 
about you a lot, Bernie.
+
I've been thinkin' about you a lot, Bernie.
  +
Every day. All the time.
 
  +
Every day.
I'm embarrassed
 
  +
to even write that down...
 
  +
All the time.
...but it's true.
 
  +
Bernie, I fellin love in one night.
 
  +
I'm embarrassed to even write that down.
  +
  +
But... it's true.
  +
  +
Bernie, I fell in love-- in one night.
  +
 
Mama, I asked you a question.
 
Mama, I asked you a question.
  +
 
No, honey. No, it's not.
 
No, honey. No, it's not.
  +
JAMES: You know what's even harder
 
  +
You know what's even harder for me to understand... is that what I feel for you... has never undercut the love I have for my wife.
for me to understand...
 
  +
...is that what I feel for you...
 
  +
Now how is that possible?
...has never undercut
 
  +
the love Ihave for my wife.
 
Now, how is that possible?
 
ONIKA:
 
 
Tabitha said it was a bad word.
 
Tabitha said it was a bad word.
  +
JAMES:
 
 
I still watch her every day.
 
I still watch her every day.
  +
 
So beautiful. So brave.
 
So beautiful. So brave.
  +
I just wanna give her
 
everything I've got in me.
+
I just wanna give her everything I've got in me.
  +
 
Every moment.
 
Every moment.
  +
It's not a nice word.
 
  +
It's-It's-- It's not a nice word.
JAMES: She's hanging on,
 
  +
fighting to be here for me...
 
  +
She's hanging on, fighting to be here for me.
...and when she sleeps, I cry...
 
  +
...over how amazing she is...
 
...and how lucky I've been
+
And when she sleeps, I cry... over how amazing she is... and how lucky I've been to have her in my life.
  +
to have herin my life.
 
can I say it?
+
Can I say it?
  +
 
No. No.
 
No. No.
  +
JAMES: You're the only person in this
 
world I ever knew I could tell this to...
+
You're the only person in this world I ever knew I could tell this to.
  +
...and even if this never finds you...
 
...and we never speak again...
+
And even if this never finds you... and we never speak again, you've... changed... my... life.
  +
...you've changed my life.
 
 
You know what inspiration is?
 
You know what inspiration is?
  +
It's someone who lets you know
 
  +
It's someone who lets you know life will go on... and something beautiful can be waiting somewhere.
life will go on...
 
  +
...and something beautiful
 
  +
Somewhere, when you least expect it.
can be waiting somewhere.
 
  +
Somewhere when you least expect it.
 
Mama, what does it mean?
+
Mommy, what does it mean?
  +
BERNADINE: What does what mean?
 
- "Freak."
+
What does what mean? Freak.
  +
 
It means "weird."
 
It means "weird."
  +
You let me say "weird."
 
Why can't I say "freak"?
+
You let me say "weird," so why can't I say "freak"?
  +
- Because.
 
  +
Because.
ONIKA: Look, Mama.
 
  +
Huh?
 
  +
Look, Mama.
  +
  +
Mmm?
  +
 
Look at you.
 
Look at you.
  +
 
What?
 
What?
  +
ONIKA:
 
 
God stopped crying.
 
God stopped crying.
  +
I don't think those
 
are God's tears at all...
+
I don't think those were God's tears at all.
  +
...just his way of making sure
 
everything keeps growing.
+
Just his way of making sure everything keeps growin'.
  +
KENNETH:
 
  +
Very romantic. And the food.
  +
  +
I love the food. Mmm.
  +
  +
Oh! We have to start planning. Your wedding.
  +
 
Hi, darling.
 
Hi, darling.
  +
I'm sorry I'm late.
 
  +
So many plans. I'm sorry I'm late.
My daughter's had a 104 temperature
 
  +
for the past two days.
 
  +
Well-- My daughter's had a hundred and four temperature... for the past two days. Really?
- Really?
 
  +
- She's got the chickenpox.
 
  +
Turns out she's got the chicken pox. Oh, gosh.
Oh, gosh.
 
  +
I mean, PauIa's been beeping me
 
on the hour, every hour, all damn day.
+
I mean, Paula's been beeping me on the hour, every hour, all damn day.
  +
I toId her, all she had to do
 
was give the girl an ice bath...
+
Mmm. I told her all she had to do was give the girl an ice bath.
  +
- Right.
 
- ..or rub her down with alcohol.
+
Right. Or rub her down with some alcohol.
  +
- Hmm.
 
- Jesus you'd think she had malaria.
+
Mmm. Jesus, you'd think she had malaria.
  +
- So why'd you even come?
 
  +
So why'd you even come? Why?
- Why?
 
  +
Because you are the most
 
important thing in my life.
+
Because you are the most important thing in my life.
  +
WAITER:
 
Can I get you something to drink?
+
Excuse me. Can I get you something to drink?
  +
- No, thanks, for me.
 
  +
No, thanks, for me.
KENNETH: A gin and tonic, please.
 
  +
One of these days, she won't
 
have me around to bug about this shit.
+
One of these days... she's not gonna have me around to bug about this s***.
  +
Hmm....
 
  +
Mmm.
You know, every trip
 
  +
I make out here...
 
...I dread going home.
+
You know, every trip I make out here, I dread going home.
  +
The longer I think about it...
 
  +
And the longer I think about it, the more I'm convinced that this is what I want to do... when the time is right.
...the more I'm convinced
 
  +
that this is what I want to do...
 
  +
Excuse me. Thank you.
...when the time is right.
 
  +
WAITER: Excuse me.
 
  +
I mean, it's more financial than anything right now. Ah.
- Thank you.
 
  +
I mean, it's more financial
 
  +
And there's still a lot of things that need to be worked out.
than anything right now...
 
  +
...and there's still a lot of things
 
  +
Mmm. I know if I left right now, it would be the wrong time for my daughter.
to be worked out.
 
  +
I know if I left right now, it would be
 
the wrong time for my daughter.
 
 
She thinks she's having a baby sister.
 
She thinks she's having a baby sister.
  +
 
A baby?
 
A baby?
  +
So we're going to have to wait
 
a little bit longer than I expected.
+
So, we're going to have to wait a little bit longer than I expected.
  +
 
Yeah.
 
Yeah.
  +
But I know the kind of person
 
  +
But I know the kind of person that you are... that you wanna do the right thing as much as I do.
that you are.
 
  +
You wanna do the right thing
 
  +
Mmm.
as much as I do.
 
  +
 
I do, Kenneth. I really do.
 
I do, Kenneth. I really do.
  +
You see, the more I think about it...
 
  +
You see, the more I think about it, the more I look at you, you look like... the scum of the f***ing earth.
...the more I Iook at you...
 
  +
...you look like...
 
  +
You see, the good news is, Kenneth, is that I was never, ever in danger of you getting a divorce.
...the scum of the fucking earth.
 
  +
You see, the good news is, Kenneth...
 
...is that I was never, ever in danger
 
of you getting a divorce.
 
 
Oh, no. I'm the lucky one.
 
Oh, no. I'm the lucky one.
  +
"The most important thing" in your life.
 
  +
"The most important thing" in your life, meaning you'll abandon your wife and your child... to get laid every chance I give you.
Meaning you'll abandon
 
  +
your wife and your child...
 
  +
And you think-- you think the brass ring is some bogus promise to put me into Paula's shoes?
...to get laid every chance I give you...
 
  +
...and you think--.
 
  +
So you can do the same f***ing thing to me next year?
You think the brass ring...
 
  +
...is some bogus promise
 
  +
It's pretty close to irresistible, lover man.
to put me in Paula's shoes...
 
  +
...so you can do the same fucking thing
 
to me next year?
 
It's pretty close
 
to irresistibIe, lover man.
 
 
What the hell's wrong with you?
 
What the hell's wrong with you?
  +
I mean, you and my wife working
 
for the same fucking firm or something?
+
I mean, you and my wife working for the same f***ing firm or something?
  +
You weren't this self-righteous
 
when you were fucking my brains out.
+
You weren't this self-righteous when you were f***ing my brains out.
  +
You weren't worrying
 
about my poor wife then, were you?
+
You weren't worried about my poor little wife then, now were you?
  +
You're right.
 
You're absolutely right, Kenneth.
+
You're right. You're absolutely right, Kenneth.
  +
I couldn't see past what I wanted,
 
  +
I couldn't see past what I wanted.
so that made me an asshole...
 
  +
...but the difference
 
  +
So that made me an a**hole.
between you and me...
 
  +
...is, I'm not anymore.
 
  +
But the difference between you and me... is I'm not anymore.
- Wait a minute. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
 
  +
- What is it?
 
  +
Wait a minute. Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is it?
Now, look, I'm sorry, but we need
 
  +
to talk about this some more.
 
  +
Now look.
  +
  +
I'm sorry, but we need to talk about this some more.
  +
 
I mean, without all the anger.
 
I mean, without all the anger.
  +
Look, I'm not mad. Really.
 
  +
Look. I'm not mad. Really.
  +
 
Neither am I, baby. I'm not mad.
 
Neither am I, baby. I'm not mad.
  +
 
And to prove it, the drinks are on you.
 
And to prove it, the drinks are on you.
  +
Hey! Damn it!
 
  +
Hey! Damn it.
ASSISTANT:
 
  +
You have a phone call.
 
  +
* Kissing you *
Thanks, Edy.
 
  +
Excuse me for a sec. Hello.
 
  +
* Kissing you *
MOTHER:
 
  +
Have you lost your mind?!
 
  +
Excuse me, Savannah. You have a phone call.
SAVANNAH:
 
  +
  +
Thanks, Edy. Excuse me for a sec. Hello?
  +
  +
Have you lost your mind?
  +
 
Ma?
 
Ma?
  +
kenneth just called me
 
and told me how simple you acted!
+
Kenneth just called me and told me how simple you acted.
  +
He was actually crying!
 
  +
He was actually cryin'.
And men don't be crying over no woman
 
  +
unless they love them.
 
  +
And men don't be cryin' over no woman unless they love 'em.
  +
 
How can you be so insensitive?
 
How can you be so insensitive?
  +
SAVANNAH: could you excuse me?
 
  +
Could you excuse me for a minute, please?
CREWMAN: No problem.
 
  +
First of all, Ma, I'm sick of you
 
  +
No problem. Thank you.
telling me how I should live my life...
 
  +
...who you think I should love, marry.
 
  +
First of all, Ma, I am sick of you telling me how I should live my life, who you think I should love, marry.
Ma, I'm sick of it!
 
  +
- DOn't you raise your voice at me!
 
- Mama, I'm 33, and I live alone.
+
Ma, I'm sick of it.
  +
Yeah. Tell me about it.
 
  +
Don't you raise your voice at me.
And I have to accept the fact that
 
  +
I may live alone for the rest of my life.
 
  +
Mama, I'm 33 years old, and I live alone.
  +
  +
Mmm. Yeah. Tell me about it.
  +
  +
Yes, and I may have to accept the fact that I may live alone for the rest of my life.
  +
 
It ain't too late, Savannah.
 
It ain't too late, Savannah.
  +
He's begging on his knees,
 
and you letting him get away!
+
He's begging on his damn knees, and you're letting him get away.
  +
Mama, do you hear me?
 
I have a job. I have friends.
+
Mama, do you hear me? I have a job. I have friends.
  +
Ma, I have interests
 
that you don't even ask about...
+
Ma, I have interests that you don't even ask about... because only one thing counts with you, Mama.
  +
...because only one thing counts
 
  +
With any damn woman unless they lyin' to themself.
with you.
 
  +
With any damn woman,
 
unless they lying to themselves.
 
 
Well, I'm being honest with myself, Ma.
 
Well, I'm being honest with myself, Ma.
  +
I'm smart, I work hard
 
and I'm a good person.
+
I'm smart, I work hard, and I'm a good person.
  +
Ma, if I allowed myself to think like you,
 
I guess I'd be a dead woman.
+
Ma, if I allowed myself to think like you, I guess I'd be a dead woman.
  +
Ma, you should be proud
 
I'd rather live alone...
+
Ma, you should be proud I'd rather live alone... than crawl up behind some two-timing loser like Kenneth.
  +
...than crawl up behind
 
a two-timing loser like Kenneth!
 
 
He's a good man, Savannah.
 
He's a good man, Savannah.
  +
 
A good man.
 
A good man.
  +
He's just in a bad situation right now,
 
and he's trying to get out of it.
+
He's just in a bad situation right now, and he's trying to get out of it.
  +
I tell you what,
 
why don't you fucking marry him?!
+
Mama, I tell you what. Why don't you f***in' marry him then?
  +
[PHONE RINGING]
 
  +
Ma.
Ma, I was wrong to yell.
 
  +
I'm sorry.
 
  +
I was wrong to yell. I'm sorry.
But I meant what I said about my life...
 
  +
...but I didn't mean to disrespect you.
 
  +
But I meant what I said about my life.
  +
  +
But I didn't mean to disrespect you.
  +
 
I'll never do that again.
 
I'll never do that again.
  +
 
It's all right, baby.
 
It's all right, baby.
  +
 
It's all right.
 
It's all right.
  +
I just don't wanna see you
 
end up like me.
+
I just don't want to see you end up like me.
  +
 
Alone.
 
Alone.
  +
I know, Ma. And I Iove you.
 
  +
I know, Ma.
  +
  +
And I love you.
  +
 
I love you too, sugar.
 
I love you too, sugar.
  +
 
I'll talk to you later. Bye.
 
I'll talk to you later. Bye.
  +
After fully reviewing
 
all the newly submitted documentation...
+
After fully reviewing all the newly submitted documentation, the settlement will go as follows:
  +
...the settlement will go as follows:
 
  +
One and a half million dollars in the Phoenix Municipal Savings and Loan Association, ownership of the residence at 1985 Ohio Drive in Pinnacle Peak, Arizona, a second house in Acapulco, Mexico-- Mmm.
One and a half million dollars...
 
  +
...in the Phoenix Municipal Savings
 
  +
500,000 in stocks and bonds... and an E320-S Mercedes station wagon.
and Loan Association...
 
  +
...ownership of the residence
 
  +
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
at 1985 Ohio Drive...
 
  +
...in Pinnacle Peak, Arizona...
 
  +
You're welcome.
...a second house in Acapulco, Mexico...
 
  +
...500,000 in stocks and bonds...
 
  +
...and an E320 S Mercedes
 
  +
station wagon.
 
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
+
Did you hear that? Whoo!
  +
[SCREAMING AND CHEERING]
 
  +
Whoo-hoo!
[KNOCKING]
 
  +
 
Hey, baby. Surprised to see me?
 
Hey, baby. Surprised to see me?
  +
Finally got the bitch off my back
 
  +
I finally got that b***h off my back like I told you I would.
like I toId you.
 
  +
If that's what you want,
 
I'm happy for you.
+
If that's what you want, I'm happy for you.
  +
Why are we standing here
 
talking about it?
+
Then why are we standing here in the hallway talking about it?
  +
 
Because I haven't invited you in.
 
Because I haven't invited you in.
  +
come on, baby. It's me.
 
  +
Come on, baby.
  +
  +
It's me.
  +
 
It's Russell.
 
It's Russell.
  +
Why you wanna do this to us?
 
After all we been through?
+
Why you want to do this to us... after all we've been through, huh?
  +
- Come on, now.
 
- I said, stop.
+
Come on now. I said stop.
  +
What you reading?
 
  +
What you readin'?
childbirth choices?
 
  +
  +
Childbirth Choices.
  +
 
What's that about?
 
What's that about?
  +
Yeah. It's yours, and I'm keeping it.
 
  +
Yeah.
- So, what you expect me to do?
 
  +
- What you do best.
 
  +
It's yours. And I'm keeping it.
  +
  +
So what you expect me to do? What you do best.
  +
 
Disappear.
 
Disappear.
  +
 
Go home to your wife.
 
Go home to your wife.
  +
 
Or better yet, go get some help.
 
Or better yet, go get some help.
  +
 
I don't want anything from you.
 
I don't want anything from you.
  +
 
I want you to read my lips.
 
I want you to read my lips.
  +
 
We don't need you in our lives.
 
We don't need you in our lives.
  +
  +
  +
 
Yes!
 
Yes!
  +
[KNOCKING]
 
 
It's open.
 
It's open.
  +
GLORIA:
 
 
How you been doing?
 
How you been doing?
  +
[THUNDERING]
 
GLORIA:
 
 
I haven't seen much of you lately.
 
I haven't seen much of you lately.
  +
I, uh.... I acted silly when all you did
 
was tell me the truth.
+
I, um-- I acted silly, when all you did was tell me the truth.
  +
 
I guess I didn't wanna hear it.
 
I guess I didn't wanna hear it.
  +
I been real busy.
 
  +
I've been real busy.
Um....
 
  +
I came over for two reasons.
 
I know I shut you out...
+
Um, I came over for two reasons.
  +
...and I miss you in our life...
 
  +
I know I shut you out, and, um, I miss you in our life.
...my life.
 
  +
Marvin, I have no doubt
 
  +
My life.
what you said was true...
 
  +
...and I apologize.
 
  +
Marvin, I have no doubt in my mind everything you said was true, and I-I apologize.
  +
 
I just came over to say that.
 
I just came over to say that.
  +
 
Wait a minute. Wait.
 
Wait a minute. Wait.
  +
come on in.
 
  +
Come on in.
  +
 
Sit down.
 
Sit down.
  +
 
He just left.
 
He just left.
  +
He wouldn't even let me
 
take him to the airport.
+
He wouldn't even let me take him to the airport.
  +
He's been the man in my life,
 
you know.
+
He's been the man in my life, you know.
  +
My companion.
 
More than just my baby.
+
My companion. More than just my baby.
  +
 
Now he's gone.
 
Now he's gone.
  +
I gave up...
 
  +
I, uh--
...a long time ago on any hope I had
 
  +
of finding someone for myself.
 
  +
I gave up, and I--
  +
  +
a long time ago on any hope I had of finding someone for myself, and--
  +
 
It's a terrible thing to do to Tarik.
 
It's a terrible thing to do to Tarik.
  +
- Tarik's gonna be fine. Yeah.
 
  +
Tarik's gonna be fine. Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah.
 
  +
I'm grateful to you, though,
 
for opening my eyes.
+
I'm grateful to you though for opening my eyes.
  +
I miss you too.
 
  +
I miss you too. You, uh--
You wouldn't allow
 
  +
my fear of being alone...
 
...to get in the way of him growing up
+
You wouldn't allow my fear of being alone... to get in the way of him growing up and doing what he has to do, and--
  +
and doing what he has to do.
 
I was so unfair to him.
+
I was so unfair to him. No, no.
  +
- No, no.
 
- Yes, I was.
+
Yes, I was. No.
  +
No. You haven't been unfair to Tarik.
 
  +
You haven't been unfair to Tarik.
  +
 
You've been unfair to you.
 
You've been unfair to you.
  +
 
To us.
 
To us.
  +
It's like you don't feel you're worthy
 
  +
It's like--
to have someone to love you.
 
  +
No, I....
 
  +
It's like you don't feel you're worthy to have someone to love you.
  +
  +
No, I--
  +
 
I love you.
 
I love you.
  +
- I love you.
 
- Don't say it.
+
I love you. No, don't say--
  +
- Yes.
 
- You don't love me.
+
Yes. You don't mean--
  +
Yes, I love you...
 
  +
Yes, I love you.
...Gloria.
 
  +
D.J.: we're moving
 
  +
Gloria.
into our New Year's Eve countdown.
 
  +
ROBIN:
 
  +
I don't feel like going to a club.
 
  +
SAVANNAH: Me either.
 
  +
We're moving into our New Year's Eve countdown.
BERNADINE: Somewhere different.
 
  +
GLORIA: I'm down.
 
  +
Guys, I don't feel like goin' to no club tonight. Me either.
SAVANNAH: Me too.
 
  +
D.J.: --when Roberta Flack was saying
 
  +
All right. Let's go somewhere different.
"It Might Be You"?
 
  +
Who is this?
 
  +
I'm down. Yeah, me too.
- Roberta Flack.
 
  +
- Roberta Flack.
 
  +
...when Roberta Flack was saying "It Might Be You"?
[ROBERTA FLAcK'S
 
  +
"IT MIGHT BE YOU" PLAYS]
 
  +
** Who is this?
It's an old cut.
 
  +
It's an old cut.
 
  +
Roberta Flack. * Time *
Oh, you know this is....
 
  +
Tookie.
 
  +
Roberta Flack. * I've been passing time *
Y'all know the movie.
 
  +
- Tootsie?
 
  +
* Watchin' trains go by * * Go by *
- Tootsie.
 
  +
Yeah, this is from Tootsie.
 
  +
Uh-huh. It's an old cut.
Dustin Hoffman.
 
  +
This is steaming up, you know.
 
  +
* All of my life * Uh-huh. It's an old cut.
[SINGING]
 
  +
Yeah.
 
  +
* Lying on the sand * **
D.J.: If you got no plans tonight,
 
  +
got nowhere to go...
 
  +
* Watching seabirds fly *
...don't fret, don't panic
 
  +
and don't be afraid.
 
  +
Oh, you know, this is, um--
Do that for yourself....
 
  +
SAVANNAH: This baby'll
 
  +
* Wishing there would be * "Tookie."
have more than one mama.
 
  +
If you're mad, get even...
 
  +
Y'all know the movie. Ooh.
...but if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
 
  +
whatever you do, do it this year.
 
  +
Tootsie? Tootsie.
  +
  +
Tootsie. Yeah. This is from Tootsie. Ah.
  +
  +
Dustin Hoffman. Yeah.
  +
  +
This is, uh, Stephen, uh, you know--
  +
  +
* Something's telling me it might be you * * It might be you *
  +
  +
* You *
  +
  +
* It's telling me it might be you * Yeah.
  +
  +
* Yeah * * All of my life **
  +
  +
** [ Drums: Up If you got no plans tonight--
  +
  +
This is much better than going to the Jockey Club!
  +
  +
Marvin!
  +
  +
Don't panic, and don't be afraid. Do that for yourself.
  +
  +
Don't be sad. Get glad. This baby's gonna have more than one mama, girl.
  +
  +
If you're mad, get even. Oh!
  +
  +
But if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
  +
  +
Whatever you do, do it this year. Whoo!
  +
 
Let's do this.
 
Let's do this.
  +
[CHEERING]
 
  +
Nine, eight, seven, six-- Hey! I think it's time! five, four, three-- two, one, two, one, Happy New Year. Happy New Year!
Nine. Eight. Seven. Six.
 
  +
ROBIN: I think it's time.
 
  +
* Count on me through thick and thin *
- Five. Four.
 
  +
- Three. Two. One.
 
  +
* A friendship that will never end *
ALL: Three! Two! One!
 
  +
- Happy New Year.
 
  +
* When you are weak I will be strong *
- Happy New year!
 
  +
SAVANNAH:
 
We made it!
+
We made it! * Helping you to carry on *
  +
  +
* Call on me I will be there *
  +
  +
* Don't be afraid *
  +
  +
* Please believe me when I say *
  +
  +
* Count on *
  +
  +
* I can see it's hurting you * Happy New Year!
  +
  +
* I can feel your pain *
  +
  +
* It's hard to see the sunshine *
  +
  +
* Through the rain, oh * Yay!
  +
  +
* I know sometimes it seems as if *
  +
  +
* It's never gonna end *
  +
  +
* But you'll get through it *
  +
  +
* Just don't give in *
  +
  +
* 'Cause you can *
  +
  +
* Count on me through thick and thin *
  +
  +
* A friendship that will never end * **
  +
  +
* When you are weak I will be strong *
  +
  +
* Helping you to carry on *
  +
  +
* Call on me I will be there *
  +
  +
* Don't be afraid *
  +
  +
* Please believe me * * Please believe me *
  +
  +
* When I say * * When I say *
  +
  +
* Count on *
  +
  +
* You can count on me *
  +
  +
* Oh, yes, you can *
  +
  +
**
  +
  +
**
  +
  +
* I know sometimes it seems as if *
  +
  +
* We're standing all alone *
  +
  +
* But we'll get through it *
  +
  +
* 'Cause love won't let us fall *
  +
  +
* Count on me * * Count on me *
  +
  +
* Through thick and thin * * I'll be there *
  +
  +
* A friendship that will never end * * Friendship that *
  +
  +
* Will never end * * When you are weak *
  +
  +
* When you are weak * * I will be strong *
  +
  +
* I'll be strong * * Helping you to carry on *
  +
  +
* Helping you carry on *
  +
  +
* Call on me I will be there *
  +
  +
* Don't be afraid *
  +
  +
* Please believe me when I say *
  +
  +
* Count on *
  +
  +
* There's a place inside of all of us *
  +
  +
* Where our faith in love begins *
  +
  +
* You should reach to find the truth in love *
  +
  +
* The answer's there within, oh *
  +
  +
* I know that life can make you feel *
  +
  +
* It's much harder than it really is *
  +
  +
* But we'll get though it * * We'll get through it *
  +
  +
* Just * * Just *
  +
  +
* Don't * * Don't *
  +
  +
* Give in *
  +
  +
* Count on me through thick and thin *
  +
  +
* Count on me * * A friendship that will never end *
  +
  +
* It'll never end * * When you are weak I will be strong *
  +
  +
* I'll be strong * * Helping you to carry on *
  +
  +
* Call on me I will be there * * I'll be there *
  +
  +
* Don't be afraid * * Don't be afraid now *
  +
  +
* Please believe me when I say * * When I say *
  +
  +
* Count on *
  +
  +
* Count on * * Count on *
  +
  +
* Count on * * Count on *
  +
  +
* Count on * * Count on *
  +
  +
* Me *
  +
  +
* Oh, yes, you can *
  +
  +
* I know I can * * Sure, you can *
  +
  +
* Oh, yeah * * So glad I can *
  +
  +
* Count on me * * Count on you, girl **
  +
  +
* Everyone falls *
  +
  +
* In love sometimes *
  +
  +
* Sometimes it's wrong *
  +
  +
* And sometimes it's right *
  +
  +
* For every win *
  +
  +
* Someone must fail *
  +
  +
* But there comes a point when *
  +
  +
* When we exhale Yeah, yeah *
  +
  +
* Say *
  +
  +
* Shoop, shoop, shoop *
  +
  +
* Shoo-be-doo * * Shoo-be-doo *
  +
  +
* Shoop, shoop Shoo-be-doo * * Yeah *
  +
  +
* Shoop, shoop Shoo-be-doo **
 
[[Category:Transcripts]]
 
[[Category:Transcripts]]
  +
[[Category:20th Century Fox Transcripts]]

Latest revision as of 17:35, 21 March 2024

Transcript

What's up? This is K107, broadcasting on New Year's Eve.

Why don't you all scribble down those New Year's resolutions, dial me up, tell us those lies you're telling yourself-- promises you know you won't keep.

I don't believe in New Year's resolutions.

They're stupid. I promise this year I will not--

No matter what John says, this year I'm starting my catering business.

And if I do ever let Russell come back, I'm gonna whip something on him so tough.

I'm gonna lose 10 pounds and eat right.

Fifteen pounds. Okay, 35.

Thirty-five pounds.

Do you know where you want to be tonight... and where you want to be next year?

Think about it. 'Cause we're getting close to that final hour.

So if you haven't finished those New Year's resolutions, you better jump on it before it's too late.

I've made mine. How about you?

This is brand-new from the beautiful Chanté Moore.

"Wey U." K107. Check it out.

The deal is, the men in Denver are dead.

No wonder I'm changing towns again.

It's got to be better in Phoenix.

I gotta pick up the babysitter, pick up my gown, stop and get John's tux.

Ooh, I'd clone myself, but I wouldn't have time for the surgery.

I don't know why I always pick the wrong men to fall in love with.

My weakness is pretty boys with big sticks.

I don't know why Tarik has to spend New Year's Eve with his homeys.

He sees them every day.

Plus there are gonna be all these drunk fools in the streets.

He'd have more fun at home with me watching videos.

I just want you to know... that if you're searching, somewhere there's a love for you.

    • and I'm geeked up for a blind date that's not even all that.

Just some party this guy's voice invited my answering machine to... when we got worn out playing phone tag.

A long time ago, I asked God to send me a decent man.

I got Robert, Cedric, Darrell and Kenneth.

God's got some serious explaining to do.

So my prayers got more detailed.

Like, how about some compassion?

Could he have a sense of purpose?

A sense of integrity?

Could he listen?

The truth is, most men are deaf.

They prefer to guess what you need. But they don't guess worth s***.

They lie without a conscience.

What they're best at is convincing us we should feel desperate.

Thank God I don't fall for that s***.

If I had the nerve, I'd get me some real breasts.

Oh, I know that's gotta be Mama.

She's the only one knows I'm staying in a hotel.

I love you, Ma, but tonight--

I'll call you in the morning, Ma.

I do not feel like going to another one of these boring affairs.

Bernie? Yes?

Would you be terribly disappointed... if we didn't go to the party tonight?

Crushed.

What?

I guess there's no appropriate time to tell you this, but...

I'm going to the party, just not with you.

She-- She?

Yes.

She doesn't want to be alone tonight, and I was thinking, "Why should she be?"

It's that b***h who keeps your books, isn't it?

And you picked tonight to flaunt your whore... in front of all your business partners and your friends.

What the hell are they supposed to think, John?

The truth.

Finally, the truth.

I'm leaving you for her.

This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System.

This is only a test. Don't worry.

You can have the house.

And you know I'll take care of my kids.

You wait a minute.

I give you 11 f***in' years of my life, and you're telling me that you're leaving me for a white woman?

Would it be better if she were black?

No. It'd be better if you were black.

Thank you, Bernadine, for making this easier... for me.

I'll be back next week for my things.

[ Emergency Tone Continues, Stops ]

This concludes this test of the Emergency Broadcast System.

All right.

Time to get your groove on. "All Night Long."

I don't believe I'm spending New Year's Eve by myself.

Now, this is definitely a first.

Finally gave up on Russell.

A lyin', sneaky, whorish Pisces.

Russell was so fine.

Probably... every woman in America wanted to be with him.

But you know what, Achey?

Oh, I knew he was mine... till-- till I found that half slip in his gym bag.

    • **

Phone's ringing off the hook tonight... from women wondering where all the real men are.

So, for all you fellows out there running the streets... looking for love in all the wrong places, there's something you should know.

Love might be waiting right there at home.

Ma, I wish you were going out tonight.

Hmm.

I'm just fine, thank you.

You're coming in at a decent hour tonight.

Ma, it's New Year's Eve. Things don't start jumping off until midnight.

You ought to be praising God I'm letting you go out at all, the grades you bringing in here.

You know, you best get busy.

You're gonna be using Morse code to contact them little girlfriends of yours.

Look, I'm doing the best I can, so just ground me now.

You know your father's coming on Tuesday.

And?

First of all, he's not my father. He's my daddy.

And there's a big damn difference. Now, you watch your mouth.

Look, I see the bastard once every two years, and I'm supposed to get excited?

You get excited.

I can't believe this, man. Why's she doing this?

What is that supposed to mean?

Where'd he sleep the last time he was here?

Oh, man.

Ma, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Ma, I'm sorry. Ma, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm really-- I'm sorry.

That's none of your business.

I'm sorry.

This is K107, broadcasting live from the Hermosa.

And this is where the party's going down.

Why are you sitting there when you could be sitting here in my room?

Let Brandy tell you. Check it out. K107.

  • Seems like ever since *
  • The first day we met *
  • There is no one else *
  • I think of more than you *
  • Can't seem to forget *
  • Can't get you out of my head *
  • Guess the verdict's in *
  • I'm crazy over you *
  • How can one be down? *
  • Tell me where to start *
  • 'Cause every time you smile *
  • I feel tremors in my heart *

Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?

No. Please, join us.

She has her nerve, sitting down here.

Hell yeah.

I'm single and desperate and have no morals.

And as soon as one of you turns your back, I'm gonna flirt my butt off... and then take your man.

Can't stand women like her.

Please. Mmm.

  • I'm just a mess with a thing for you *
  • Pray that you'll invest *

Savannah?

Lionel?

Hi. How are you?

God, if this man isn't the one, at least let me dance till I sweat.

Would you like to dance? I'd love to.

All right.

God, you look so beautiful tonight.

Thanks.

I'm certainly glad we finally met.

You made it here safely in one piece.

Well, our answering machines almost moved in with each other.

Glad we met too.

  • I'm gonna make you my wife *
  • 'Cause you're my everything *
  • All my hopes and dreams *
  • Come true *
  • I can live my life *
  • With you *

Mmm. You feel so good.

  • I'm gonna buy you some rings *

Thank you, Jesus.

And then I did it.

I closed my eyes... and I exhaled--

  • What you make me feel * and pretended this man was mine.

That he was everything I ever dreamed of.

That he was the one...

I'd been waiting for all my life.

Lionel.

Lionel.

You haven't danced with me all night.

Uh, Savannah, this is my friend Denise.

  • Cross my heart and hope to die *

If I hurry, I can still catch Dick Clark.

What's up, Joseph? I like them pants.

Well, thank you, girl. Hey, Joseph, did he show up?

Hmm! You think he didn't?

Come on, honey, you next.

Ooh, Gloria, look at this.

Oh. That's nice. It's very nice.

Looks just like in the book too--

Hey, Gloria, do you like this color?

I'm charging you 25 cents for each finger, Robin.

You're gonna charge me what?

Robin, why don't you just come on out of my shop, go back to that little hot-s*** insurance company you working for?

Because, baby doll, I don't punch in or out.

I got it like that. Remember?

Lunch hour is over.

So I guess you guys have heard, huh?

What?

John left Bernie.

What?

Mm-hmm. And for a white girl.

You lyin'. For a white girl?

Honey, if I'm lyin', I'm flyin'.

I saw her just the other night at the Circle K, and she was a mess!

Honey, her hair was in rollers.

She had a funky old bathrobe on.

Girl, I had to take my girlfriend home.

Joseph, are you serious?

As a heart attack.

Be still, baby. I don't wanna burn your scalp.

Gloria, I told you he was an a**hole.

Shh. Excuse her, baby.

I'm sorry. Watch your mouth in here.

Five-three-seven-- Are you calling? Let me talk to her.

Wait a minute. Let me talk to Bernie.

It's the machine. Bernie?

This is Gloria. Honey, you call me at the shop, okay?

We wanna know what's going on over there. Now don't--

Bernie, how dare that son of a b***h leave you with two kids!

Will you-- Don't talk that up in here.

Joseph. Go on back to your job.

I will see you on Tuesday.

Okay, girl. Oh, my goodness, Miss Monroe.


Bernie? this is Gloria. Honey, you call me at the shop, okay?

We wanna know what's going on over there. Now don't--

Bernie, how dare that son of a b***h leave you with two kids!

Hi, Bernie. It's Savannah.

I'm here. Call me. I'm at the Biltmore.

[ Machine Clicks, Beeps Twice ]

Hey, hey, hey.

Hug?

Thank you.

John, let's go! Oh!

John has to kiss his mom first. Thank you.

Mama's boy.

Bye.

This motherf***er is psychotic.

I bet you there's serial killers less anal.

That white woman is probably the only one who will tolerate your smug ass!

Yeah, I was your white woman for 11 years!

Couldn't have started that damn company without me!

Hell, I worked my ass off!

I mean, I got a master's degree in business, and there I was his secretary, his office manager and his computer!

"No, Bernadine, you can't start your catering business this year!

Why don't you wait a few years, huh?

Yeah, don't start it right now. Wait one, two, three years.

I need you to be the f***in' background to my foreground!

732!

732!

The number of times we made love!

I remember when that bastard told me he was counting!

Right after 51!

I'll show you! F*** me for not leaving your ass then!

But the worst-- oh, the f***in' worst-- making my kids go to a school with only two other black children... because you don't want them to be improperly influenced!

Well, guess what, John. You're the motherf***in' improper influence!

Get your s***-- Get your s***, and get out!


  • Since the day that Nanny came to stay with us *

Ma'am.

Were you aware that your car was on fire?

Yes.

Did you start this fire, ma'am?

It's against the law to burn anything except trash in your own yard, ma'am.

It is trash.

This is a nice area.

Luckily, a neighbor cared enough.

The next time you want to burn something--

It won't happen again.

Michael and I work for the same insurance company. Mmm.

He's just been promoted onto my marketing team. **

Michael is no Russell.

I mean, he's not pretty. But he is available.

Oh!

A Kodak moment.

Michael had to be about a 38D.

My brain was saying, "Put your hands anywhere else but on my body.

Then go home. ** [ Michael Singing, Indistinct ]

And don't come back, you human submarine sandwich.

    • But you can't say that kind of thing... without hurting someone's feelings.

Oh, go, Robin. Go, Robin.

Come here, baby.

Ooh.

You feel even better than I thought you would.

Come here.

I got you. You got me?

I got you. Whoo!

Ooh! Ooh! You all right?

Yeah. I'm sorry, baby.

It's okay.

Hey!

Ooh!

Ahh!

Yeah.

All right. All right.

Here I come.

Here I come.

Here I come.

All righty then.

Somebody's gotta undress me.

Ooh.

At dinner he told me he drag races, scuba dives, deep-sea fishes and keeps his own boat in the White Mountains.

I told him I grew up an army brat.

That I went to A.S.U. and I majored in anthropology.

I knew you were gonna be beautiful all over.

Uh, uh, uh! What?

Here you go.

All right.

You need some help? No.

No.

There.

There.

Damn!

I didn't even get a chance to see what he had to offer.

Oh, yeah.

Oh! Yeah. Yes. Yes.

Ooh, s***. Oh, s***. God!

S*** is good, huh? S*** is good.

Oh, it's good. What's my name? Say my name. Say my name. What's my name?

What's my name? Michael.

What's my name? Michael!

Yeah! Uh! Oh, s***. Oh, this is good.

Yeah. Yeah, it's good. Yeah.

Ooh, it's good. Ooh, yeah. Ooh!

Ooh! * I love it when you call me Big Poppa *

Ah! Ooh! Big Poppa.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah.

Oh!

Whew!

Whew!

Pow!

Does he think he just did something here?

S***. I could've had a V8.

Oh! I knew you were gonna be somebody special.

How do you feel?

About what?

Me.

Uh-- This.

You know, uh, everything.

Tell me what you want.

What you need. Because whatever it is, I'm gonna see that you have it.

What's your fantasy?

I mean, what do you want from a man?

Everything.

Could you be more specific?

I want to have a house... in Scottsdale.

I own a house... in Scottsdale. What else?

I want to get married.

And I want to have kids. Two.

Maybe three.

And?

I want to eat out... two, maybe three times a week.

I want to have babies.

I want to go away for long weekends.

I want to have a family. I want to be happy.

You don't want much.

I could give you that and a whole lot more.

What about you, Michael?

What do you want?

Robin, I think I found it.

You don't even know me.

It's about knowing me.

I could give you everything you want, everything you need... if you let me.

You can start by kissing me.

No.

Slowly and gently.

And he did it right.

And I felt like silk.

And when I looked at him, I didn't care anymore that he wasn't Mr. Universe.

I just felt young... and sexy, beautiful.

And when I closed my eyes... and squeezed my pelvis real tight, and my body exploded from the inside out, Michael felt just like the real thing.

And everything was perfect-- for once.

Hey, girl. How you doing?

Oh, Bernie.

So good to see you, girl.

I've been waiting all day for you.

You okay?

Come on. Let's go get a drink, huh?

I bought some toys for the kids. Come on.

Don't drink too much. This stuff is expensive.

Um--

I'd just like to make a toast to my beautiful wife... on our fifth anniversary. Here you go.

Thanks, baby. Glad all you could be here.

So... happy anniversary.

Happy anniversary.

Nice house, Bernie.

At five dollars, you can have it.

Remember when we took that?

You know what's funny?

I always thought if I gave him what he needed, he'd give me what I needed.

I love you. I love you too.

It's amazing what can happen when you give a man control over your life.

I can't even... Let me put it on you. pretend it's all John's fault.

So--

Tell me about this new job.

Go home. Shut that off.

Well, I took a pay cut... to see if I have what it takes to produce.

You know, some of us are still on that dream trip, girl.

Are you scared?

Yes.

Me too.

  • My love *

Okay. * Sweet love *

  • For me, there's no one better *
  • Cross my heart *

Hi!

Gloria.

Come on in.

When David was here last time, he did me a favor by spending the night.

Lord, let him be merciful again tonight.

Well, have a seat.

Well--

You're looking healthy.

Thank you.

Oh, well--

  • I could not love you more *
  • 'Cause with you *
  • My world *
  • Is filled with so much pleasure *

So, where's Tarik?

He's not here right now.

I don't know why I continue to do this.

He's almost grown.

Yes, he is.

Would you like some wine? No.

No, thanks.

Sure? Mmm.

  • Nothing else matters *
  • You're my heart *

When exactly are you expecting him?

Mmm! Tomorrow.

Wait!

David.

You know you can always stay here.

Here?

Yeah. Uh--

I thought that maybe we-- you know.

We could-- Well, like last time.

I should be honest with you.

About what? About me.

What about you?

Hmm?

Do you remember how I didn't respond to you last time?

Of course I remember. I--

I thought it was because I gained weight and--

I have been bisexual for years.

What You heard me right.

But I'm not anymore. I'm gay.

David!

David, you don't have to go to this extreme just because--

Look, Gloria, I don't have to lie about this.

I-I've lied too long as it is.

I am.

I'm staying at the Biltmore.

And if... he ever wants to see me, he has to make the first move.

If I don't hear from him by noon, I'm checking out.

And I mean just that.

Oh--

Come on. It's an offer you can't refuse.

Okay.

Ooh! Onika, honey, put that one over there too.

Ma, are we just selling daddy's stuff? Yes, honey.

Here you go. Thank you.

Why come?

Ooh! "Why come?" Oh, Onika.

"Why." Why?

Because he asked me.

Yes. It's just collecting dust.

Oh, uh, bring the wine. Hurry. Come on.

I'll get it.

She told me to get it! No, she told me to!

She told me! Give it to me! No!

Oh, man.

Look what you did.

That's right, sir. Thank you.

Enjoy your skis.

Mmm!

  • My funny valentine *
  • Sweet comic valentine *
  • You make me *
  • Smile *
  • With my heart *

I didn't think I'd ever see him again.

But he did call to apologize.

That's my toothbrush! Is he crazy?

Turns out this guy has no real income.

Chain-smokes reefer.

Brags about being a vegetarian, then inhales three hot dogs... like it's the last time somebody's gonna buy him a meal.

I gave him $20 for gas, which came to $7.18, and he didn't even give me my change.

My fantasy was to get myself a little piece.

You know, get my feet wet in a new town.

Well, not exactly my feet.

Hell, it's been five months.

And he has gotten on my last nerve.

But I don't have to be in love with him to do it.

Hell, my body needs this.

  • Don't, baby, don't *
  • Don't you change your hair for me *

Lionel, baby, um, we've got all night. You can take your time.

I'm just so excited.

I've been thinking about what I'd do to you since New Year's.

Hold on, baby. I'm on my way. What?

"Grr"?

"Grr," huh?

Now I'm a keeper at the damn zoo.

Kathleen. John, the year-end reports... on the Geary account are right here.

Everyone have a copy? Thank you.

If you examine the profile on the Geary report, you'll find--

Bernadine, I'm in a meeting here.

If you need something, I suggest--

Would you mind terribly if I had a few words with my husband?

No-- What the hell are you doing?

I've been to the bank. Thank you!

Thank you for thinking of your children!

Everybody out! Yes, out! Out!

You don't come into my office... and start throwing some tantrum because you can't finish what you started.

What am I supposed to do for money?

I gave you the house. Now sell it!

I hate you!

I'm really sorry to hear that, Bernadine.

But I'm not playing games with you anymore.

Who do you think started this damn company, huh?

Let's not start that again, all right?

And now you think you can just take the money and run!

Business hasn't been good for years.

But don't you worry about it. You'll get what's coming to you.

Hell, I'm not worried.

You, on the other hand, should be.

Okay. Look.

Let's not let this thing get any uglier than it already has.

Is everything all right in here, Mr. Harris?

Fine.

Now, I'm willing-- I'm more than willing--

What, you gonna put me out, Joe? to give you $300,000 cash today! You here to put me out?

Your children aren't for sale.

One more thing before you go.

I'm coming for my kids on Saturday.

Yeah?

And if I hear you had them anywhere near that tramp b***h, you're gonna regret it for the rest of your life!

Tarik?

Get out of my goddamn house!

I'm-I'm sorry. Get out!

I'm sorry. Ma, I'm so sorry.

I told you you was grounded. I know.

That's why I invited her over, Ma. I'm sorry.

You know, I'm about sick of this s***!

If your daddy wasn't gay, I swear to God, I'd send your black ass straight to him!

S***.

You saying my father's a fa****?

I don't like to use that word.

Ma.

Fa****, gay, homo-- it's all the same.

So my daddy's a queer.

My daddy-- My daddy's a queer.

My daddy's a queer.

Yo, my father's a queer!

He's a f***ing queer! My father's a f***ing queer!

I said stop it!

One thing's for sure. It ain't running in the family. 'Cause, you know--

You best watch your mouth.

I'm sorry. Sorry? You're sorry?

You're sorry about everything, aren't you, Tarik?

You're sorry about lying to me! You're sorry about your grades!

Sorry about letting some little girl in here to suck on your little 17-year-old dick!

How can I trust you in Spain if I can't trust you here, huh?

You just get out of my face.

Ma, will you just let me-- You better get out of my face.

Now, this is something we should definitely focus our attention on this quarter.

This account comes up for renewal June 1.

The workers' comp premium is about a million and a half, and the loss experience has been excellent.

What does the engineering report show?

It shows an active safety environment.

Well, actually, I, uh, found a discrepancy in the report.

Oh, really? Hmm.

Now, if everyone could turn to page 20, we can look at the graph.

Page 20. If you'll excuse me.

So you want to do your job?

Well, you will never get another whiff of this.

Yes?

So it appears that everything he's purchased... in the last 10 years is in his name only-- including the business.

Look, I'm not trying to get rich here.

But I want to be able to pay my mortgage... and take care of my children.

Their education.

I just want to be okay.

All right?

Look. I'm not gonna lie to you. We're in for a fight.

But I promise you, I will do my best.

Bernie, this is the stupidest move you've made yet.

Just because you're upset with your husband-- I love you, Gloria, but I'm not gonna debate this with you.

I'm not here for a lecture. But I've been doing your hair for 11 years.

One ignorant move by your husband, you gonna come in and chop off all of your hair?

Now come on, Gloria. Do it. I'm not doing this.

What is the f***in' big deal? Just cut it, Gloria! No, I'm not!

You gonna wake up tomorrow feelin' stupid-- All right! F***kin' fine!

You don't wanna cut this f***in' s*** off my head, I'll do it my god**** self!

Fine. Fine.

You want me to cut it, I'll cut it. How short do you want it, huh?

You want it shorter than mine or short as mine?

You know, I can always use a razor too. I can't believe you.

Eleven years of growing your hair out, and look at what you doing.

Mm-hmm. Thank you. Fine.

I don't know why they call this mess "happy hour."

Well, it's still early yet, girl.

Oh, sweetie, that's not it.

Is this your first time hanging out?

I hate to be the one to break it to you, but... this is as good as it gets.

Mmm.

I feel like dancing.

All right, girl. Don't hurt yourself or nobody else.

Mmm! You go, girl!

How you like that new haircut?

I don't like it. I don't either.

I like it. You like it? Yeah, it look all right.

It's nice. It's sharp on her.

Hello, stranger. Bernadine, how are you?

Wonderful, thank you.

Ooh, that's Herbert Webster.

Used to be a pro football player.

Now he's a newscaster or a sports agent.

And fine as hell.

And if she don't want him? Mmm! I'll slam-dunk him tonight.

He's also very married.

And?

She's only dancing with him, y'all. Damn.

Are you blind? Look at her.

Mm-mmm. She flirtin' with that man.

Mmm!

Shoot, I could be home watching Good Times.

Why aren't you deadbeats out here dancing?

Now, you can drink and talk at home. Girl, you're too hot for me.

You better watch out for that man.

Who Oh, he's harmless.

Besides, if his wife's at home, he better watch out for me.

Ooh! Give me some.

Ooh! You're bad.

Well, I guess that means he's available.

You know you wanna dance.

Why, thank you. Yeah.

  • Baby, baby *

Oh, I don't even believe this s***.

Uh-oh. What's the deal?

Who is it this time? What's going on?

I mean, it's only been a week since I fired him, and he was talking marriage.

Well, don't forget you dropped him.

And please don't embarrass yourself. And please don't embarrass us.

Please.

Oh, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

Little fat f***.

Robin, did you see Michael?

Oh, she saw him.

Michael who?

  • Just the other day *
  • And your own sister told me *
  • Someone was taking my place **

I've only known Troy for three days, but already I feel close to him.

I wish he didn't smoke, but I can live with one bad habit.

Yeah, he's real cool people.

He's a lawyer, but he's down to earth. You'll like him.

Mmm. **

Oh, oh, oh, oh. Whoo! Whoo!

Oh, s***!

Oh! My favorite Caucasian, Wild Bill! Troy.

The good stuff is here.

Oh, man. Check out my honey, huh? Mmm.

Bill, Robin. Robin, Bill.

Hey, would you like some wine?

No. I don't think we have time.

You just got here. Oh, come on, woman, we got time for a glass of wine.

Go and relax yourself.

  • Make a brother moan No need to stop, baby That s*** turns me on *

Stop!

Whoo! Ha! Don't let the smooth taste fool you!

  • That s*** turn you on? *
  • That s*** turns me on *
  • That s*** turns me on * * That s*** turn you on? *
  • That s*** turn you on? *
  • That s*** turns me on *

Excuse me.

  • You can be my sonic and, baby, I'll be your boom *
  • Just a little bump and a grind That's fine *
  • It's better when it's me and you doing the double do *
  • So, uh, forget the problems-- *
  • Hoochie-coochie mama 'Cause that s*** turns me on *

Might as well be with Russell if I'm gonna deal with this s***.

Baby! Got that wine.

Troy, I'm ready to go.

Come on, woman, these are my-- No! I'm ready to go now.

Oh, that s*** turns me on.

  • That s*** turns me on Yeah, yeah **

Hey, Vannah, this is Mike.

I got a few questions on the Colin Powell episode.

Ring me at extension 455.

Miss Jackson, this is Doreen.

I've got a few messages for you at the front desk, along with a FedEx package. Thank you.

Savannah, this is Kenneth.

Hope you haven't forgotten me.

I'll be out your way next month for a medical conference.

It would mean a lot to me to see you.

Hope you're well.

Bye now.

God, I used to crave this man.

He treated me like a lady.

And once you get used to being treated well, you can't go back to bulls***.

No mystery how he got my number.

Hello?

Hi, Mama. How you doing?

Well, since you ask, my hair ain't been dyed in so long, my roots are green.

Mama, why did you give Kenneth my number?

'Cause he asked for it. Why? Is he coming out there or something?

You tell me. Girl, he gonna be out there on the 26th.

Ain't you excited? Mama, the man is married.

Well, how happy can he be if he went out of his way to find me to get to you?

Mama, please.

Please my behind, girl.

I'll be so glad when you get up off that high horse.

And stop trying to act like you don't need nothing or nobody.

Every woman needs a man. And you ain't no exception.

Mama, I love you, and I'll talk to you soon. Good-bye.

I won't squeeze him back when he hugs me.

I will not look him in the eyes.

And I'm definitely not gonna give him any.

Hey. Hey. Hey. See? Told you about all that.

Ol' feisty thing.

See, you making too much about all this. It ain't even about nothin'.

Girl, am I gonna have to whip it out and tame you?

Am I gonna have to tame you?

Hey, you feel that? See how hard that is?

You did that, girl. It's got your name on it.

Troy, you know what? I think we should cool out for a while.

This is not working.

Well, you know, this comes at sort of a bad time.

And why is that, because you want some tonight?

No, I'm not talking about tonight. I'm talking about Sunday.

My mother wanted me to invite you over for a barbecue.

Oh, you think I'm making all this up 'cause you mad?

You mad Huh?

Well, here. Why don't you call her?

Why don't you call her?

555-1467.

Troy, why do you want me to meet your mother?

I have only known you for three days.

Maybe it's because I feel a little different about you... than you seem to feel about me.

But I can't help that.

Robin.

No man ever asked me to meet his mother before.

Maybe he's not into the stuff all that much.

And maybe if we got to know each other better, I might be a good influence on him.

He thinks he's gonna get away with it?

I'm not gonna let him get away with it. That's right.

You know he has a whole apartment building, 200 acres of farmland in California... and a vineyard right here in Arizona?

And did you know they made wine in Arizona? Yeah.

Huh? Well, I didn't. Girl, this mess will get you a week on Sally Jessy.

I'm tellin' you, Glo. This is how women get screwed.

Too lazy to look out for yourself, so you put all your trust in your husbands.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. But I finally got the answer.

Just never get f***in' married.

Hmm. Lots of us got that answer.

I thought you had the answer to something.

You had the answer to that one, honey, you'd be on the cover... of Cosmo, Newsweek, Psychology Today, Jet, Essence, Ebony!

Don't make me laugh. I'm mad.

Mad magazine!

And they're off, in the first race of the ostrich festival!

And it's Swift Kicker in the blue takes the lead.

Bern, if I ask you something, will you promise you won't get mad?

What is it?

You been messing around with Herbert?

Swift Kicker and Exactly, and it's Swift Kicker by a nose!

Bernie!

I spent one evening with him.

Look, I didn't want to marry him. I just--

I-I wanted to, you know--

I needed to get laid, so I did.

Now how you gonna say something like that?

Easy. Men been doing this s*** for years.

Hmm.

I'm telling you, it was like watchin' paint dry.

Girl, now he callin' and pagin' me all hours of the day and night.

Showed up at my house unannounced.

My child answers the door. Now, you know that freaked me out.

Uh-huh.

I don't know what he's thinking. Mmm.

I tap-danced for a man for 11 years.

I'm not about to go out and get me a new owner. Mmm.

Yeah, Bernie, but you know you're wrong.

Now, see, that's why I didn't want to tell you.

I'm not like you, Gloria.

I... need somebody to hold me. Hmm.

Even if it is a damn lie.

Hmm.

Lady Lydia, Fancy Nancy and Patty's Pucker... coming up in that lady llama race.

Don't forget about the arts and craft fair next weekend.

Girl, Russell's been paging me all day, but I'm through with him.

I'm seeing Troy now. Yeah, yeah. But you know what he does, Robin.

He says he only does it sometimes.

Girl, what do you expect him to say? "I'm a crackhead"?

So, you think I shouldn't go to the barbecue?

Robin, let me put it to you this way.

What have you done in three days with this man, besides screw him, that would make knowing you so deep... that now he wants to take you home to meet his mama?

A barbecue? Please, girl.

Yeah. I can't call him though. I put his card in my wallet.

Now I can't seem to find my wallet anywhere.

Oh, that really surprises me, Robin.

Hold on.

Mm-hmm.

Hello?

I been missing you, baby. Since when?

Since I been gone. Want some company? Yes.

I'll see you in 15. Bye, Russell.

Savannah? Yes.

I gotta go. Something I gotta do.

Is it Russell?

No, it's not Russell.

Mm-hmm. I bet.

So what if it is?

Well, enjoy the lowlife while you can, girlfriend.

Good-bye.

That girl is something.

  • Anytime that you feel the need *
  • And I'll be there in a hurry *

Come on, baby.

Troy is such a waste of my time.

Come on now. Come over here.

Russell's the only man I really loved.

Look at him.

What are you acting like you don't wanna come over here?

Damn.

Mmm.

Last time we were together, he wanted to spend the whole night.

And he would have-- except he had to take his mama to church early the next morning.

People change.

And you can't hold a few mistakes against someone for the rest of their life.


God bless you and your family.

Sister Gloria, you're looking good.

Have a good day now, Deacon. God bless you, sister.

Deacon Scott. God bless you. Take care.

Hi.

Savannah, let's go have breakfast.

Let's go get something.

What? I'll cook. You know I'll cook.

  • Everything's gonna *
  • Be all right *
  • Everything's gonna *
  • Be all right *

Give me a hug.

Hey, John Jr.--

What's up, Ma? Hey.

Mmm! I missed you.

Enjoy the doll, okay? Bye, Daddy. Thank you.

Bye.

Hi, Mama. Hi, sweetie.

Two days is too long, huh?

Come on. Let's go inside, huh?

Whew! S***, it's hot.

Damn.

Hey! Hey! Yoo-hoo!

Robin! Hey!

You ready, baby?

I'm not going.

Why not?

Because, Troy, I don't like this.

Why?

Okay.

All right.

So-So what am I supposed to tell my mother and my son and the rest of my family?

Your son? How old is this son?

He's almost 13. What's your point?

My point is, I don't think we're ready for family reunions yet.

What am I supposed to tell them, Robin?

Tell them whatever you want to.

Oh, so I'm just supposed to accept this?

You don't have a choice. You should have asked me before committing me.

I did ask! No, you told me!

You come here two hours late, and I'm supposed to go with you?

Oh, I don't think so. Robin!

Robin!

It's locked, Troy.

Baby, it's too hot for this s***.

Can you come get the door? No.

Can I use your bathroom? Hell no!

Do you have any idea how many women would love for me... to take them to my house so they can meet my mother?

Oh, I can just about guess.

Man, you black b***hes is all the same.

"B***h"? You complain all the time... about don't nobody want your asses, don't know how to treat ya!

As soon as a man-- a brother-- show you genuine interest, you b***hes act simple.

Then you wonder why we go out with white women.

A white woman can have your sorry ass.

Don't you throw that up here!

You raggedy b***h.

You better be more careful who you pick up in grocery stores next time!

Troy, take your drunk-ass, leather-wearing- in-the-summertime, need-a-shave, stinky-ass home.

I'm not going.

Have a fruit bowl, tramp!

Punk! Forget you!

Forget you!

All right. It's like that?

It's like that then. Bye.

So, Robin, I guess you know who's got your wallet?

What?

You think he stole it?

Robin, I don't believe you. Good-bye.

I got to hang up.

Whew.


Hi. I'm Gloria Matthews from across the street.

I was wondering--

What do you know about these people moving in here?

Well, uh, the guy, in my opinion, seems to be nasty and, uh, ignorant.

And bossy.

Oh. What about his wife?

Well, she-- she died a couple of years ago.

But this is one of the many precious items that she bought for him... that I'm makin' sure don't get broken. Oh, that's nice.

Why is he trusting you with it?

Well, I'm Marvin King.

Yeah. I'm your new neighbor.

I was just foolin' around. Oh.

Nice to meet you, Gloria.

Nice to meet you. Yeah.

Well, I'd just like to welcome you and your family to the neighborhood.

Thank you.

Unpacking can be hard work.

Yeah. Yeah, it certainly is.

I got a lot more to do tomorrow too.

Would you like to have dinner with us tonight?

It's just leftovers.

Collard greens and corn bread, some candied yams, a little potato salad, fried chicken, peach cobbler, few slices of ham.

Mmm. Yum-yum.

Yeah, I-I would love to, Gloria, but, uh--

I just got too much work to do here. Maybe another time.

Yeah. Well, to be honest, I don't have no business eating it myself, big as I am.

Mmm.

Yeah, well, my wife was a big woman.

Oh.

I like that.

I like a woman with a little meat on her bones, you know.

Oh.

Well, I could send a plate over by my son Tarik for you.

Great. Yeah. I'd appreciate that.

How old's your boy?

Seventeen. Teenager.

He's gonna be leaving in June, I think.

Excuse me. What did you ask me?

I said, uh, Tarik-- Tarik-- he's going to college, huh?

Oh.

Um, he wants to travel around the world... with this organization called Up With People.

I'm just not sure I-- Yeah. Let him go. He's young.

Up with the people.

Yeah. Uh, where's his daddy?

In California somewhere.

Look, um, Marvin. I'll let you get back to your work.

And, um, I'll send that plate right on over.

Thank you. Thanks, Gloria.

Yeah. Yeah. Nice meetin' ya.

Hope to see you again real soon.

Oh, God, I hope he's not watching me walk away.

All right. He's watching. Oh!

...grant the petitioner $3,000 per month... until such time as we're fully able to review all newly submitted documentation.

Next.

This is only round one. Stay strong, Bernadine.

Stay strong.

Look. I want this to be over and done with. Handle it.

Let's just take it step by step.

It's taking a toll on my kids.

You sorry son of a b***h, John. You know the mortgage is 5,000 a month.

How are your children supposed to live, huh?

I told you to settle for the 300,000, but you want to play hardball.

All dogs don't go to heaven, John.

You think you can get away with this, huh?

You lowlife ass-kissing Uncle Tom.

You know, this--

This "Uncle Tom" stuff--

It's really becoming a bit redundant, don't you think, Bernadine?

Excuse me.


Scotch and soda, please.

Yes, ma'am.

Here you go. Thank you.

Excuse me. Is anybody sitting here?

No. No one's sitting there.

Uh, cognac, please.

Yes, sir.

My name is James Wheeler. How do you do?

Your cognac, sir.

Thank you.

So do you have a name?

Bernadine.

Bernadine.

My, this is a... pretty place.

But I have to admit, I haven't seen anything as splendid as you since I've been here.

Okay. Oh, hold on now. Hold on.

You don't have to give me that look.

Just look.

I haven't seen the sun for four days now.

I mean, it's been one meeting after the other, after the other.

And now I am finished.

So, I decided to come downstairs, have myself a drink, and in the morning I look forward to returning home... to my lovely wife.

Salud.

So, why are you sitting here all alone?

Okay. Wait. Hold on now.

You don't have to answer that. You don't know me.

You know? I mean, you don't know me from a can of paint.

Here I am, all in your Kool-Aid and don't know the flavor.

I'm getting a divorce, James. Ah. I'm sorry to hear that.

Yeah, well, it happens, huh?

And you know, it just occurred to me that, uh, I've lost something that once meant everything, and it hurts.

And right now, I'm just-- I'm really p***ed about it.

Mm-hmm.

But you know what really gets me?

I didn't have plan "B."

My marriage was supposed to last.

Mm-hmm. Mmm.

So I guess that's why I'm here. Hmm?

I can tell you one thing though.

Yeah Well, you are one brave woman.

You're bad.

No. Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

I hope you recognize that. No, I don't really feel like that, James.

Well, I mean, you're sitting here all alone.

Ain't a black person in sight, and you're sitting here looking like everything is all right.

You know, your makeup is flawless.

Oh, come on now.

I mean, you've taken his best shot, and you're still here.

Mmm.

Splendid.

You just know me so well.

No, no, no, no. I don't know you.

But I do know a fighter when I see one.

And I could tell that with one look in your eyes.

What are you, a, um-- a psychiatrist or something?

No. No.

I am a civil rights attorney.

My practice is in Washington, D.C.

I'm going through something similar.

My wife is dying.

Oh. Of breast cancer.

Well, I'm sorry. I'm sorry to hear that.

It's--

Bernadine, have you ever watched someone dying?

I tell ya. I mean, watching her suffer just kills... a bit of me every day.

And the worst part is that I can't help but remember all the plans we made.

You know, like we were supposed to retire in Saint Thomas, you know.

Out there by the beach. And she loves the water.

Get the coconut oil and rub it all over her.

She is definitely a--

I tell you, I just--

I just wish I could have a piece of her that I could keep safe, you know.

Just something.

Something more than a bunch of memories.

Anyway.

You look like you're out. Mmm.

How about a, uh-- a refill?

Yeah. Okay. Okay.

Uh, she'll take another whatever it is she got.

Scotch and soda. Ooh.

I'm scared of you.

  • Everyone falls *
  • In love sometimes *
  • Sometimes it's wrong *
  • And sometimes it's right *
  • For every win *
  • Someone must fail *
  • But there comes a point when *
  • When we exhale **

Well, hello. Hello.

You look better than I remembered.

It's funny. You don't.

But I guess you couldn't.

Oh, it's good to see you. You too.

Well, I'm producing my first segment. Mm-hmm.

Uh, it's only three minutes long, but it is a start.

That's good. That's real good. I'm proud of you.

All right, all right. Let's cut the bull.

Are you gonna talk to me for real, or what?

You know, I have to apologize for thinking I could just... pop back into your life after all these years.

"Pop back" in my life?

Yeah. Oh.

I needed to see you.

All right. So you've seen me. Now I can leave, right? I can go.

Oh, man. There's so many things I want to say to you.

Is that right?

Things I've wanted to say ever since--

Well, ever since you dumped me.

Dumped you?

Can we revisit the real world here for a minute, Kenneth? Yeah.

You stopped calling me.

Oh, yeah. Well, took me a while to get the hint.

The hint? Yeah.

What hint is that?

You never called me-- I never called you. to go anywhere, not even once. Kenneth.

You're the man.

And that wasn't the nature of our relationship, and you know that.

Mm-hmm. I know.

The nature of our relationship was that I was in love with a woman... who was too nice to hurt my feelings.

You were in love with who?

And what?

Look.

I know I'm married, and I love my daughter with all my heart.

You see, her mother was five months pregnant when we married.

Now that was my choice. I went in with my eyes open, and I've lived with it for seven years now.

Now I don't want this to come off like some kind of come-on, but you are the only woman that I have ever loved.

And I still love you, Savannah.

  • And I can't believe it's real *
  • Can't believe it's you *
  • I can't believe it's happening *
  • I can't believe it's true *
  • And I can't believe that you are here with me *
  • And I am here with you *
  • Kissing you *
  • Softly kissing you *
  • Kissing you *
  • Forever kissing you *
  • Kissing you *
  • Kissing you * * You *
  • I can't believe that you took me *
  • When I was choosing you *
  • Kissing you *
  • Forever kissing you *
  • Kissing you *
  • Oh, gently kissing you * * Kissing you *
  • Kissing you * * Kissing you *
  • Kissing you * * Kissing you *
  • Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh **

You okay?

Yeah, I'm just-- Yeah, I'm okay.

Nervous.

Oh. I'm-- I'm a little nervous.

Well, I mean, if you're having second thoughts about me being up here.

No, no. I'm--

I'm having all kinds of thoughts.

Well, I mean, if it's any consolation, Bernie, I've never done this before.

You sure?

I haven't made love to a woman in over a year.

Lauren (or Laurie) stopped wanting to, so--

Um--

Look.

I got two things I want to say to you. No, no. No. You don't have to... say anything. I do, because you may kick me out afterwards.

Remember how you were saying that the woman your husband, uh, was marrying--

I mean, ex-husband-- that she was white?

Yes.

Well--

Well, so is my wife.

Look, Bernie. I mean, I can sit here, and I can say that the reason I'm staying with her is because she's dying... or that it's my obligation or a whole bunch of st-- stuff,

but the truth of the matter is--

I love her.

She's the only woman I have ever loved.

And I would never leave her under any circumstances.

It hurts like hell.

Yeah.


Someone felt that way about me once.

But he stopped.

What do you want to do tonight?

Make tonight beautiful.

Beautiful.

  • I know if there is any chance *
  • For us to find our happiness *
  • We've got to learn to let it go *
  • Oh, forget all the pain we knew *
  • Sometimes *
  • Sometimes it hurts so bad, baby **

Marvin, please eat this sandwich.

Mmm.

Yes. Yes indeed.

Ah, come on now. I'm just kidding.

No, you weren't. I wouldn't do that.

You were not. Can you hold that for me?

Don't throw that away now.

Ain't got no cheese on this sandwich.

You don't like cheese. I brought the paint.

Good. Sit it right down there, Tarik.

You want a bite of this sandwich, Tarik? It got cheese in it?

Here. Take a bite.

  • Happy birthday, dear Gloria *

Oh!

  • Happy birthday to you **

Oh!

Thank you.

To the best blow-dryin', scissor-scalpin', bumper-curlin', braidin', weavin', "get this gray out of my hair" dyein'... beautician west of the Mississippi.

Happy birthday.

Oh. Thanks. Weak!

Gloria, I hope you find true love... and get you some that's so electric... you ain't gonna need no blow-dryer. Oh, please.

And so juicy, it's gonna put an end to your 10-year drought.

Oh!

Nasty. Ooh.

Oh, come on, y'all. Raise 'em up one more time. Let's get serious now.

Girlfriend, here's to peace of mind... and all the happiness that your heart and hand can hold.

'Cause Lord knows you deserve it. Aw.

Oh! Happy birthday! Happy birthday!

Oh, thank you.

Happy birthday.

Okay. I can do this. All right.

All right. Now come on. Make your wish first. Make your wish.

Um, okay.

Get serious! Go on.

Oh, this is pitiful. Come on. Let's help this old lady. Just help me out.

You need some help. Come on. Let's help her out.

  • Love was always supposed to be *
  • Something wonderful to me *
  • To watch it grow inside yourself *
  • To feel your heart beside itself *
  • Sometimes it hurts * Why do they write these damn songs?

To make you think and believe and dream... you could feel like this?

Hmm. S***.

Somebody had to go through this s*** in order to write it.

Don't you think?

  • Sometimes the pain *
  • Is just too much * Shoot.

You know what?

You know what we all have in common?

What?

None of us-- not none of us... have a man.

Some sad s***.

  • Always there inside of you * That lying a**hole.
  • Oh *

Messed up my life.

  • Sometimes it hurts to love so bad *
  • When you know you've given it your best * I should call him right now.
  • Sometimes it hurts to even laugh *
  • You feel a thousand miles from happiness * And I wanna talk to that b***h.
  • Sometimes the pain *
  • Is just too much *
  • And it hurts like hell *

Hand me the phone. I'll talk to that ho.

Oh, wait a minute. Hold on. Dial her number, Bernie.

Wait, wait. Wait.

Dial her number. What are y'all doing?

No.

Put the phone down. Johnny No, it's not John, b***h.

Robin. Savannah, talk to her.

What happened? Bernie. Bernie, don't do this.

Bernie.

Bernie, don't do this. Gloria, I gave him two babies, and she thinks she can just take my f***in' husband.

Bernie! Bernie, cut.

It's stupid.

It's stupid, and it's childish.

Thank you.

Gloria, I had some s*** I wanted to get off my chest.

I'm hurt.

Why'd you unplug the phone?

Wh-What-- What happened to the music?

I thought this was supposed to be a party.

    • All right. Come on, baby.
  • Yeah *
  • Just keep it on the down low ** Ah!

You already know.

I'm sick of this s*** now.

Wait a minute.

The one man I love... is married with a kid.

And there's my life in one little sad nutshell.

Mmm. Men do leave their wives.

At least he told you he was married.

Yeah, but, see, I'm not your average 24-year-old girl... who's willing to wait around and count the days, see.

Mm-mmm. Uh-uh. I'm 33 years old.

Ooh! Good!

And I still look good.

I still look good.

You do. You do look good, girl.

You said it, fly diva.

Mm-hmm. Freak mama.

The hoochie-coochie diva.

No. All y'all go to hell.

Savannah, you know you look good. You look good, girl.

Whatever happened to the good old days?

Oh. Good old days.

What good old days? What good old--

Jinx. You know, the days when... men actually flirted with you... and-and-and asked you out for a real date, you know.

Where are they hidin'?

They're not hidin'. They're too damn scared to make a commitment.

Mm-mmm. They're with white women.

They're gay. Or married.

They're ugly. They behind bars.

Got bad credit.

Got little d**ks and can't f***. That's what it is.

Or they got big ones and still can't f***. Ooh!

Wait, wait. They want to spank it.

What? They want to--

What? They want to what?

Now that's not a bad thing, Gloria.

Oh, Robin. Come on.

They're too possessive.

They want you to be their mama.

And their daddy.

And they're ugly. Baby, we already said they was ugly.

Yes. Good and ugly.

Inside out ugly?

If you're ugly inside, you're ugly outside.

Inside out.

Geez. Who asked her?

Happy birthday, Ma.


Hi, Ma. Did I wake you?

What difference does it make?

I'm up now.

What's wrong?

Why you talkin' so low?

Savannah? Are you there?

Yeah. Yeah, Ma. I'm still here.

Nothing's wrong.

How are things with you?

Well, they cut my food stamps to $57 a month.

Ma, how the hell have you been getting by? What have you been eating?

Oh, baby, see, I knew you would get upset, and I've been trying to deal with it on my own.

The check, it's-- goes so fast, and things are so high nowadays.

Ma, how much money do you have?

Mmm. Sixty-seven dollars.

Ma, be down at Western Union first thing in the morning.

Okay?

Baby.

You know, Kenneth called, and, uh, he said that he was gonna be trying to come out there, with-- with him filing for his divorce and all.

Well, did he call you?

N-No. No, he hasn't.

Well, then pick up the phone and call him.

Because, Ma, I just don't know.

I don't know if I can trust him, you know.

Oh, girl, you're so crazy.

Mama, do me a favor, okay?

Yes?

I don't care if it's a-- a knitting class or a new girdle--

Anything. I don't care what it is.

You just pick up the phone and you call me, okay?

All right, baby.

And only me, Ma. Only you, precious.

Bye.

Hi.

Yeah, sorry I didn't call after I got in.

Oh, continuous introductions after a very long and tedious meeting.

I was whipped.

Yeah. One thing is certain.

I'm gonna have to come out here a few more times before this deal's in place.

Yeah.

How's my baby girl?

Well, you tell her that her daddy loves her.

Yeah.

Me too.

Bye.

Well, good morning. Well, good mornin'.

And how are you today?

I'm here with you. It's all good.

Have your breakfast. I'll be back. I'll be here.

  • Inside yourself it's bad *

This is gonna broaden his horizons, make him more worldly.

He'll be fluent in Spanish. I know that.

I just don't see why he has to go all the way to Spain... when he's already been accepted at Arizona State.

I'm gonna miss him too. Who's talking about missing him?

Look. He's a man, Gloria.

He knows what he wants.

Be proud you raised him that way. I am proud.

It's just--

He's my baby. You just don't understand. I understand.

I un--

Why you telling me all this?

Well, I thought that since you've been coming over all these months, showing him how to fix things--

He's-- He's never known what it's like to have a father.

You took him fishin'. He looks up to you.

I thought maybe you could talk some sense into him.

It seems to me Tarik isn't the one who needs to come to his senses.

I-If you don't mind my saying so.

Well, everybody's entitled to their own opinion. Good night.

Gloria.

Good night.

  • Feel so sad *
  • I thought I was over you *

It's getting late. I better-- * But I keep crying *

  • When I don't love you *

Good night.

  • So why does it hurt so badly **

Russell called and said he's leaving his wife for sure this time.

Okay. So what's taking him so long?

Russell?

Russell, what took you so long?

I wasn't gone that long.

  • Some just learn it on the way *

Well, what happened?

We talked.

Well, I assumed that much.

So?

  • Make it smooth Take your time *

Is she gonna sign the divorce papers, or what?

You just don't decide to divorce somebody and sign on the dotted line, baby.

It doesn't work that way.

I wish it did, but it doesn't.

Why don't you get my pajamas?

Pajamas? Now that's the first time you ever asked for those.

Russell, did you sleep with her?

I can't take comin' here and bein' pressured about what I'm doin' with my own wife.

Well, you know we're not gonna have very much time to spend together.

  • Everybody knows how to make you scream *

It's Troy.

I can't talk right now. What, you can't talk now?

Hey, look. Why don't you just say somethin' sexy to me so I can go to sleep?

Who was that?

Savannah.

I suggest you tell your boyfriends not to call here after 11:00.

He's jealous. What a joke.

What the hell am I doin' anyway?

  • Said I shall not be moved *
  • Said I shall not be moved *
  • Just like a tree that's planted by the water *
  • Just like a tree *

This Up With People's choir that's goin' to Spain-- is it this good?

You mean the one you won't let me join?

Nah. * Shall not be moved **

But they're close.

After that selection, after that song--

After that song, somebody ought to say thank you.

Thank you! Say "Praise the Lord."

Praise the Lord! Say "Praise the Lord!"

Praise the Lord!

Turn to your neighbor, right where you're sitting, and say "The Lord"--

The Lord-- "is blessing me"-- is blessing me.

"right now." right now.

Amen. Amen.

At this time, our prayers go out to Sister Lulu Mae Preston, who just had hip surgery.

Church, I want you to know this morning that...

God is able!

And because we know that he's able, we will continue to pray her strength in the Lord.

Amen. Amen.

Sister Gloria Matthews... would like the congregation to send their prayers out... for the safe journey of her son Tarik, who'll soon be on his way to Spain for a year... to play the saxophone in the Up With People International Orchestra.

Hallelujah! Amen!

Amen. Oh!

Brother Tarik-- Mm-hmm.

Hold on to the Lord's unchanging hand.

As you go on your journey, continue to trust in the Lord with all your heart.

Amen. Amen.

I mean, so what do you think, Robin?

I've loved this man forever, and now that we've got another chance, I don't want to blow it by making him think I don't have any faith in him.

Do you know what I mean?

I mean, don't we hear this on Sally and Oprah every day?

That's what you sound like, you know.

Yeah, I know. Is that where you get your advice from

Well, you know, there was this one woman in your same situation.

Mmm. This man kept saying he was gonna leave too.

She got her hopes all up and everything, quit her job, even moved to the city he lived in.

Right after she got there, she found out she was three months' pregnant.

He ended up dumping the woman.

He said his kids would be too hurt if he left now.

So what about the baby?

So she had an abortion.

She never, ever told a soul.

Not even her mama.

Hmm.

She never looked at men quite the same again.

So he left his wife in the end, right?

Take a wild guess, Savannah.

What show did you hear this on?

Sorry.

I've never been on Oprah.

Where's my mom?

I think my mommy left me. Have you seen my mom?

Guess what I got.

Uh, some tea.

Guess.

Picture you drew for me?

I don't know, honey. I give. What is it?

I got the mail, Ma. Oh, thank you.

You're welcome. I'll be right back, okay?

Okay.

Hmm.

Mama?

I've waited as long as I could to contact you.

Mommy, is "freak" a bad word?

I've been thinkin' about you a lot, Bernie.

Every day.

All the time.

I'm embarrassed to even write that down.

But... it's true.

Bernie, I fell in love-- in one night.

Mama, I asked you a question.

No, honey. No, it's not.

You know what's even harder for me to understand... is that what I feel for you... has never undercut the love I have for my wife.

Now how is that possible?

Tabitha said it was a bad word.

I still watch her every day.

So beautiful. So brave.

I just wanna give her everything I've got in me.

Every moment.

It's-It's-- It's not a nice word.

She's hanging on, fighting to be here for me.

And when she sleeps, I cry... over how amazing she is... and how lucky I've been to have her in my life.

Can I say it?

No. No.

You're the only person in this world I ever knew I could tell this to.

And even if this never finds you... and we never speak again, you've... changed... my... life.

You know what inspiration is?

It's someone who lets you know life will go on... and something beautiful can be waiting somewhere.

Somewhere, when you least expect it.

Mommy, what does it mean?

What does what mean? Freak.

It means "weird."

You let me say "weird," so why can't I say "freak"?

Because.

Look, Mama.

Mmm?

Look at you.

What?

God stopped crying.

I don't think those were God's tears at all.

Just his way of making sure everything keeps growin'.

Very romantic. And the food.

I love the food. Mmm.

Oh! We have to start planning. Your wedding.

Hi, darling.

So many plans. I'm sorry I'm late.

Well-- My daughter's had a hundred and four temperature... for the past two days. Really?

Turns out she's got the chicken pox. Oh, gosh.

I mean, Paula's been beeping me on the hour, every hour, all damn day.

Mmm. I told her all she had to do was give the girl an ice bath.

Right. Or rub her down with some alcohol.

Mmm. Jesus, you'd think she had malaria.

So why'd you even come? Why?

Because you are the most important thing in my life.

Excuse me. Can I get you something to drink?

No, thanks, for me.

One of these days... she's not gonna have me around to bug about this s***.

Mmm.

You know, every trip I make out here, I dread going home.

And the longer I think about it, the more I'm convinced that this is what I want to do... when the time is right.

Excuse me. Thank you.

I mean, it's more financial than anything right now. Ah.

And there's still a lot of things that need to be worked out.

Mmm. I know if I left right now, it would be the wrong time for my daughter.

She thinks she's having a baby sister.

A baby?

So, we're going to have to wait a little bit longer than I expected.

Yeah.

But I know the kind of person that you are... that you wanna do the right thing as much as I do.

Mmm.

I do, Kenneth. I really do.

You see, the more I think about it, the more I look at you, you look like... the scum of the f***ing earth.

You see, the good news is, Kenneth, is that I was never, ever in danger of you getting a divorce.

Oh, no. I'm the lucky one.

"The most important thing" in your life, meaning you'll abandon your wife and your child... to get laid every chance I give you.

And you think-- you think the brass ring is some bogus promise to put me into Paula's shoes?

So you can do the same f***ing thing to me next year?

It's pretty close to irresistible, lover man.

What the hell's wrong with you?

I mean, you and my wife working for the same f***ing firm or something?

You weren't this self-righteous when you were f***ing my brains out.

You weren't worried about my poor little wife then, now were you?

You're right. You're absolutely right, Kenneth.

I couldn't see past what I wanted.

So that made me an a**hole.

But the difference between you and me... is I'm not anymore.

Wait a minute. Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is it?

Now look.

I'm sorry, but we need to talk about this some more.

I mean, without all the anger.

Look. I'm not mad. Really.

Neither am I, baby. I'm not mad.

And to prove it, the drinks are on you.

Hey! Damn it.

  • Kissing you *
  • Kissing you *

Excuse me, Savannah. You have a phone call.

Thanks, Edy. Excuse me for a sec. Hello?

Have you lost your mind?

Ma?

Kenneth just called me and told me how simple you acted.

He was actually cryin'.

And men don't be cryin' over no woman unless they love 'em.

How can you be so insensitive?

Could you excuse me for a minute, please?

No problem. Thank you.

First of all, Ma, I am sick of you telling me how I should live my life, who you think I should love, marry.

Ma, I'm sick of it.

Don't you raise your voice at me.

Mama, I'm 33 years old, and I live alone.

Mmm. Yeah. Tell me about it.

Yes, and I may have to accept the fact that I may live alone for the rest of my life.

It ain't too late, Savannah.

He's begging on his damn knees, and you're letting him get away.

Mama, do you hear me? I have a job. I have friends.

Ma, I have interests that you don't even ask about... because only one thing counts with you, Mama.

With any damn woman unless they lyin' to themself.

Well, I'm being honest with myself, Ma.

I'm smart, I work hard, and I'm a good person.

Ma, if I allowed myself to think like you, I guess I'd be a dead woman.

Ma, you should be proud I'd rather live alone... than crawl up behind some two-timing loser like Kenneth.

He's a good man, Savannah.

A good man.

He's just in a bad situation right now, and he's trying to get out of it.

Mama, I tell you what. Why don't you f***in' marry him then?

Ma.

I was wrong to yell. I'm sorry.

But I meant what I said about my life.

But I didn't mean to disrespect you.

I'll never do that again.

It's all right, baby.

It's all right.

I just don't want to see you end up like me.

Alone.

I know, Ma.

And I love you.

I love you too, sugar.

I'll talk to you later. Bye.

After fully reviewing all the newly submitted documentation, the settlement will go as follows:

One and a half million dollars in the Phoenix Municipal Savings and Loan Association, ownership of the residence at 1985 Ohio Drive in Pinnacle Peak, Arizona, a second house in Acapulco, Mexico-- Mmm.

500,000 in stocks and bonds... and an E320-S Mercedes station wagon.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

You're welcome.


Did you hear that? Whoo!

Whoo-hoo!

Hey, baby. Surprised to see me?

I finally got that b***h off my back like I told you I would.

If that's what you want, I'm happy for you.

Then why are we standing here in the hallway talking about it?

Because I haven't invited you in.

Come on, baby.

It's me.

It's Russell.

Why you want to do this to us... after all we've been through, huh?

Come on now. I said stop.

What you readin'?

Childbirth Choices.

What's that about?

Yeah.

It's yours. And I'm keeping it.

So what you expect me to do? What you do best.

Disappear.

Go home to your wife.

Or better yet, go get some help.

I don't want anything from you.

I want you to read my lips.

We don't need you in our lives.


Yes!

It's open.

How you been doing?

I haven't seen much of you lately.

I, um-- I acted silly, when all you did was tell me the truth.

I guess I didn't wanna hear it.

I've been real busy.

Um, I came over for two reasons.

I know I shut you out, and, um, I miss you in our life.

My life.

Marvin, I have no doubt in my mind everything you said was true, and I-I apologize.

I just came over to say that.

Wait a minute. Wait.

Come on in.

Sit down.

He just left.

He wouldn't even let me take him to the airport.

He's been the man in my life, you know.

My companion. More than just my baby.

Now he's gone.

I, uh--

I gave up, and I--

a long time ago on any hope I had of finding someone for myself, and--

It's a terrible thing to do to Tarik.

Tarik's gonna be fine. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm grateful to you though for opening my eyes.

I miss you too. You, uh--

You wouldn't allow my fear of being alone... to get in the way of him growing up and doing what he has to do, and--

I was so unfair to him. No, no.

Yes, I was. No.

You haven't been unfair to Tarik.

You've been unfair to you.

To us.

It's like--

It's like you don't feel you're worthy to have someone to love you.

No, I--

I love you.

I love you. No, don't say--

Yes. You don't mean--

Yes, I love you.

Gloria.


We're moving into our New Year's Eve countdown.

Guys, I don't feel like goin' to no club tonight. Me either.

All right. Let's go somewhere different.

I'm down. Yeah, me too.

...when Roberta Flack was saying "It Might Be You"?

    • Who is this?

Roberta Flack. * Time *

Roberta Flack. * I've been passing time *

  • Watchin' trains go by * * Go by *

Uh-huh. It's an old cut.

  • All of my life * Uh-huh. It's an old cut.
  • Lying on the sand * **
  • Watching seabirds fly *

Oh, you know, this is, um--

  • Wishing there would be * "Tookie."

Y'all know the movie. Ooh.

Tootsie? Tootsie.

Tootsie. Yeah. This is from Tootsie. Ah.

Dustin Hoffman. Yeah.

This is, uh, Stephen, uh, you know--

  • Something's telling me it might be you * * It might be you *
  • You *
  • It's telling me it might be you * Yeah.
  • Yeah * * All of my life **
    • [ Drums: Up If you got no plans tonight--

This is much better than going to the Jockey Club!

Marvin!

Don't panic, and don't be afraid. Do that for yourself.

Don't be sad. Get glad. This baby's gonna have more than one mama, girl.

If you're mad, get even. Oh!

But if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Whatever you do, do it this year. Whoo!

Let's do this.

Nine, eight, seven, six-- Hey! I think it's time! five, four, three-- two, one, two, one, Happy New Year. Happy New Year!

  • Count on me through thick and thin *
  • A friendship that will never end *
  • When you are weak I will be strong *

We made it! * Helping you to carry on *

  • Call on me I will be there *
  • Don't be afraid *
  • Please believe me when I say *
  • Count on *
  • I can see it's hurting you * Happy New Year!
  • I can feel your pain *
  • It's hard to see the sunshine *
  • Through the rain, oh * Yay!
  • I know sometimes it seems as if *
  • It's never gonna end *
  • But you'll get through it *
  • Just don't give in *
  • 'Cause you can *
  • Count on me through thick and thin *
  • A friendship that will never end * **
  • When you are weak I will be strong *
  • Helping you to carry on *
  • Call on me I will be there *
  • Don't be afraid *
  • Please believe me * * Please believe me *
  • When I say * * When I say *
  • Count on *
  • You can count on me *
  • Oh, yes, you can *
  • I know sometimes it seems as if *
  • We're standing all alone *
  • But we'll get through it *
  • 'Cause love won't let us fall *
  • Count on me * * Count on me *
  • Through thick and thin * * I'll be there *
  • A friendship that will never end * * Friendship that *
  • Will never end * * When you are weak *
  • When you are weak * * I will be strong *
  • I'll be strong * * Helping you to carry on *
  • Helping you carry on *
  • Call on me I will be there *
  • Don't be afraid *
  • Please believe me when I say *
  • Count on *
  • There's a place inside of all of us *
  • Where our faith in love begins *
  • You should reach to find the truth in love *
  • The answer's there within, oh *
  • I know that life can make you feel *
  • It's much harder than it really is *
  • But we'll get though it * * We'll get through it *
  • Just * * Just *
  • Don't * * Don't *
  • Give in *
  • Count on me through thick and thin *
  • Count on me * * A friendship that will never end *
  • It'll never end * * When you are weak I will be strong *
  • I'll be strong * * Helping you to carry on *
  • Call on me I will be there * * I'll be there *
  • Don't be afraid * * Don't be afraid now *
  • Please believe me when I say * * When I say *
  • Count on *
  • Count on * * Count on *
  • Count on * * Count on *
  • Count on * * Count on *
  • Me *
  • Oh, yes, you can *
  • I know I can * * Sure, you can *
  • Oh, yeah * * So glad I can *
  • Count on me * * Count on you, girl **
  • Everyone falls *
  • In love sometimes *
  • Sometimes it's wrong *
  • And sometimes it's right *
  • For every win *
  • Someone must fail *
  • But there comes a point when *
  • When we exhale Yeah, yeah *
  • Say *
  • Shoop, shoop, shoop *
  • Shoo-be-doo * * Shoo-be-doo *
  • Shoop, shoop Shoo-be-doo * * Yeah *
  • Shoop, shoop Shoo-be-doo **